Inside the Meditation Chamber
by J. Horowitz (falcon@ucla.edu)
Remember how Darth sits in his meditation chamber and takes off his
helmet in it? But what really goes on inside? My vision of it:
...As the door of the meditation chamber pressed down and sealed, Darth
walked over to his comfy leather chair and stretched tiredly. He pushed
a button on his seat and the helmet-remover hydraulically snapped down.
With a sound not unlike removing a cork from ten year old bottle of
Corellian wine, Darth's helmet and mask popped off, revealing his bald,
white scarred head. Darth yawned and grabbed his pipe, lighting it with
the force. Now, what to do? He glanced across the room and saw his handy
decision maker-dartboard. Three throws should be sufficient, he thought.
He picked up three darts lying on the nearby table littered with old issues
of Imperial Housekeeping and Weekly Galaxy Inquirerer and flicked one
towards the board. It landed on Conquer the Galaxy.
"Eh, I did that last week," he muttered. Another flick brought up
something
more interesting.
"Walk up and down the bridge of the Star Destroyer and terrorize the
bridge
crew. Hmmm... That's a thought," said Darth.
He launched his final projectile with a bit of Dark side energy and
watched
as the dart finally landed on something he liked immensely.
Darth grunted happily as he took off his boots and argyle socks, revealing
his aching feet. He whistled a happy imperial marching tune as he began to
clip his long toenails.