Title: Torn
Part: 1
Author: PJ
Email: PJbrowning@earthlink.net
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Alex gets in an Accident.
Category: Alex/Isabel
Rating: PG-14

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I fear nothing
Besides myself

The hum of the sewing machine filled the air, as Isabel worked. She expertly pulled the pieces from the machine. She hung the pieces on the dummy and began making adjustments. Her work was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Hey Max." Isabel greeted her brother. He didn't seem happy to be there. "What's wrong?"

"Can I?"

"Yes." Isabel stepped back to let her brother in. She closed the door. "Do you want something to drink, or eat or something?"

"No. thanks." Max sat down on the sofa. "Isabel, I need to tell you something. And you should sit down."

Isabel felt her heart stop for a moment. He never calls me Isabel.

She swallowed and sat down next to brother. "Max, what is it?"

"Liz just called me." Max paused. "Alex was in an accident. A bad accident."

Isabel's sick turned over. No, please no. Don't let him be dead.

"How bad, Max?"

"Don't worry, Izzy. He's alive. And it looks like he's going to stay that way. That's all we do know. His father promised to call Liz as soon as he got to Dallas." Max smiled softly at her. "I just thought you would want to know."

"Yeah. Thanks Max." She looked ahead, trying to deny the feeling in her chest. Unfortunately she looked straight at the photo of the six of them at the Prom. She felt Max's arm pull her in, as the tears started to flow.

Please don't touch me

"Alex." Mr. Whitman knocked at the closed door.

"Yeah." The voice answered painfully.

He opened the door. Alex was laying in bed. The television was on, the sound turned all the way down.

"Liz is on the phone."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"Alex . . . "

"I said I don't want to talk to her."

"This is the third time, Alex."

"Just tell her that I'm asleep."

"You're going to have to talk to her sooner or later."

"I know, but not tonight."

Love like an infant trying to stand up

"So, movies."

"Movies?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if, uh, do aliens enjoy cinema?"

"Alex... "

"Yeah, right, sorry. The "a" word. Anyways, there's this, uh, Fellini retrospective at the art house theater this Friday night, and I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to, uh, go? "

"No, I'm not really into that."

"Ok."

"You want to just see a regular movie instead?"

"Yeah. That'd be great. "

"Ok. See you later, Alex. "

Am i two souls
One hard, one whole

"I've reviewed the x-rays and you are making very good progress." The doctor smiled at him. "I expect you to make a full recovery."

"How soon?"

"That is difficult to say. Perhaps a year. Maybe sooner. There is just no way to say for certain."

Am i real?
I don't want to feel anything
Anymore Isabel walked into the Crashdown. Max and Michael were already sitting at a booth in the back.

"Hey Isabel." Maria came over and set down a soda for her. "What's up?"

"Have you by any chance talked to Alex?"

"No."

"Has Liz?"

"I don't think so." Maria looked at her intensely, trying to read her face. "You're worried aren't you?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Izzy."

"Max, he hasn't talked to anyone since he came home." Isabel turned to her brother. "That was six weeks ago. And his father is a brick wall. Won't say anything."

I feel nothing
Besides this pain

" . . . . six, seven." his arm began to quiver, his face etched with pain. "eight . . . " A sudden shooting pain went through his arm. "Shit!!" The weight hit the floor as he fell back to the bed. His lip began to bleed, as he bit down. His eyes clenched shut as he tried to stop the tears from coming again.

"Alex." His father sat down on the edge of the bed. "Do you need . . .?"

"No. I don't want those things."

They sat in silence for several minutes. Finally Alex sat up. He reached down for the weight, but his father stopped him.

"How long are you going to push yourself like this?"

"Until I'm better."

"Maria stopped by earlier. She's worried about you. They all are. She wanted to see you."

"No. I can't."

"They are your friends. You should give them a chance."

"I'm not ready."

Alex stood and walked to the window. The dark glass reflected the look of sadness on his face. "I don't want . . . her, them to see me like this." He sighed. "I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Okay."

Alex quickly changed into his pajama pants. Pulling on the t-shirt was too difficult, but he didn't want to ask his father for help.

He lay on the bed, in the dark. He wasn't really tired, but it was the only way to get rid of his father. He was sick of talking, and listening. The doctor said that it would take time. His therapist said the nightmares were understandable. What do they know? They aren't living it.

The moon light fell on the photo on his nightstand. He and Isabel at the prom. He was wearing the traditional black tuxedo. Isabel was wearing a long red dress, she designed and made it herself. Her hair was curled and pinned up, a casade of blond curls down her back. She told him that she made the dress just for him. It made him smile to remember it. They were never the soulmates that Max and Liz, or even Michael and Maria, were. But they were best friends, maybe even better than Maria and Liz. Isabel had been so proud, so excited when she saw the letter.

"You won't forget me, now that you're going to be famous."

"Never." He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "You promise to be at my first concert."

"Front row." She laughed. "I got you something." She handed him a package.

Alex pulled out a brown soft leather backpack. "My old one was pretty ratty looking."

"This one goes better with your new style." Her eyes skimmed over his khakis and sweater. "Although I do miss being able to unbutton that top button. Sometimes I think you buttoned it just because you knew I'd have to undo it."

"But of course. And thank you. I love it." Alex hugged her. "I'm going to miss you, Izzy. Promise me that you'll write."

"I might even email." She stood watching as Alex drove away.

Please don't watch me
Love like an infant
Scared and crawling

It was night. She was standing in an alley, looking ahead she saw a music store. How appropriate.

She saw Alex come out of a back room, speaking to the man behind the counter. He laughed and pulled a familar brown backpack up onto his shoulder. He grabbed his guitar and walked outside.

There was something about the whole scene that nagged at Isabel. As she followed Alex, she tried to figure it out. As they turned a corner, it hit her. There's no music. There's always music in Alex's dreams.

Suddenly Alex stopped. As Isabel watched, two men walked closer.

"Shit." She heard him whisper under his breath.

"Well, well." The man was at least two times Alex's size. "If it isn't our friend from the music store."

"Yep. Sure is."

"Look guys." Alex tried to sound calm. The paleness of his face gave away his sheer panic. "I don't want any trouble okay."

"He doesn't want any trouble." The man stood right in his face. "Then why did you say you were going to call the police."

Alex grimaced from the smell of the liquor on his breath. "I was just doing my job." He took a step back, right into two more of the man's friends.

"Too bad." The man laughed again, as he threw the first punch.

Isabel watched in shock as the four men continued to attack Alex. He tried to run, only to be caught. He swung his guitar and hit one of the men. Then another man grabbed the instrument and threw it into the wall.

At first, Alex tried to scream for help. But several hits to the stomach took his breath away. He fell to the ground. Isabel hoped that the men would stop, now that they had had some fun. The men had other plans. Two of them grabbed Alex's arms, holding him up while their friends continuing hitting him. His face was a bloody mess, his right eye swollen shut. His shirt was dirty and torn. They plummetted him for several minutes. Then the two men let go and Alex fell, half conscious, to the ground. The ringleader delivered a hard kick to Alex's side and he curled up, instinctly trying to protect himself. Isabel could hear his whimpers of pain and fear. The man started to walk away. Then he turned and walked back to the fallen boy. He looked down and laughed. The sound sent a chill through Isabel.

"One last thing."

Isabel realized what was about to happen, even as it did. The man raised his foot and stomped straight down on the hand that rested on the ground. Alex screamed in pain. Before he could pull away, the man stepped down again. Isabel was sure that she could hear the sound of bones breaking. The man and his friends walked away, laughing.

Isabel looked down at Alex. He was curled up on his side, clutching his left arm to his body. Isabel wished that she could do something, but she could only watch as he cried out in pain.

"Isabel."

She sat up in her bed, her heart pounding.

"Izzy??" Max was sitting on the edge of her bed. "What's wrong?"

She considered telling him. If he wanted us to know. . . .

"Nothing. Just a bad dream. Sorry I woke you up."

Am i two souls
One hard, one whole

Isabel stood outside The Factory.

She remembered the heatwave when they were sophomores. She had gone into Alex's dream and discovered his crush on her. She had invited him to the party in the old building.

Several months ago, someone had bought the place and turned it into a club. Alex's old high school band was playing that night. Liz and Maria tried to convince Alex to come with them, but he said no. Just like he had for the last four months. At least, he's talking to us on the phone.

She had considered not going herself. Max had left the ticket for her and at the last minute she changed her mind. Maybe Alex changed his mind also.

Inside, Isabel paid her cover and headed up the stairs. She could hear the music boomed from above her, a ballad of some kind.

It seems a bit familiar.

As she reached the landing, she could barely see the stage through the crowd standing in front. Through the railing, she spotted Michael and Maria sitting at a table on the far side of the room. Isabel headed up the stairs. As she turned to walk across the room, she finally got a good look at the stage.

The lights were glowing warm down onto the stage where Alex stood. His guitar hung over his shoulder. His hands were wrapped around the microphone, as he sang, "Am i real. I don't want to feel anything, anymore"

Isabel watched as Alex picked up his guitar and began to play. I knew he could do it.

For a moment, he kept his eyes focused on his hands. Then suddenly his gaze rose. Straight to where Isabel was standing at the top of the stairs.

Isabel slowly walked forward, not stopping until she was directly in front of the stage. Alex kept his eyes on her the entire. time.

Isabel glanced at his hand, seeing the scars from the surgery.

Alex looked down, then back at her. He knows that I know the truth. She was afraid of what his response would be.

Then as he finished the final bar, Alex looked at her and smiled.

The End