Title: Envy
Part: 1
Author: Kathryn
Email: Practicallyperfect@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I don't own, although I wish I did.
Summary: Not Known
Category: Michael/Maria
Rating: PG

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Jealousy. That used to be the only thing I felt when I was with Max Evans. He had everything that I wanted in my life. He got good grades, he was loved by everyone, he had a sister, he had parents. He had a family. In short, he had everything I should have had.

But, instead I got Hank and a whole lot of trouble.

I suppose a little bit of it is my fault. I mean, I guess I could have applied myself harder in school, but what did it really matter in the long run. I wasn't planning on sticking around here on earth forever anyway.

Max had everything. And it all came effortlessly. Even being an alien didn't hurt him for the majority of his life. It was just a secret he had to keep.

And then Liz came into his life. I didn't trust her, and I didn't want to let her in. But, she was someone else who was in love with Max Evans, so he made the choice for us. Now, he had found the only thing he had been missing before, the love of a woman. I read her journal, I watched her with him, and she just became another thing I had to envy Max for.

All my life, I wanted what he had. I wanted his life. I wanted people who loved me, and didn't just hang out with me because we were the same species. I wanted more than what I had, what he had. Envy of him consumed me, and it hurt what little friendship we had.

Then, Maria entered my life. She brought everything that I had been without. I was cared for by someone who wasn't obligated to be concerned with my welfare. She was enough, and nothing else mattered. I didn't care what Max Evans had because I had her.

I got upset when she compared what we had to Max and Liz. We were different. I didn't want her admiration to be something I had to envy Max Evans for. But, the sting of that paled in comparison to what she brought to my life. Pushing her away never really seemed to work. We kept coming back.

But, fate stepped into my life again. I should have known I was meant to be alone. She brought light to me life, and I knew that if she stayed with a person like me that light would dim over time. I proved what I had known from the beginning when I killed Pierce, I'm not good enough for her.

I did the right thing for once, I pushed her out of my life. I cared enough. It's to keep her safe, and keep her pure. She doesn't need to be tainted by me.

And, it worked. She was gone. And again, I had every reason to hate Max. He had the girlfriend, he had the family, and that wasn't all. Now, Max was the leader of our people. Max got to see his real mother, and I don't even know if I have one. In a way, it was back the way it started, I wanted to be Max Evans. I wanted to be the leader of an alien race.

When Liz left him to fulfill his destiny, he begged her to stay. Deep down, though I'll never admit it to anyone, I took satisfaction in that. I was proud that I had maintained my dignity and walked away from Maria first. I convinced him to let her go, because then there would be one less thing for me to envy Max for.

We stand here on the rocks, the four of us side by side. We are supposedly each others destinies. I have what I wanted, more answers and a promise of a future. But, at the moment it doesn't really matter.

All I want is to have Maria back with me, and give Max Evans something to envy me for.

The End