A time comes in your life when you finally get
it...when, in the midst of all your fears and
insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and begin to look at the
world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change...or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is
Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real
world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the
process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself...and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the
things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on is
the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or mean what they say and that not everyone will
always be there for you and that it's not always about
you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of
yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to
accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties..and in the process a
sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself,
and the world around you, is as a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained
into your psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the junk you've
been fed about how you should behave, how you
should look, how much you should weigh, what you
should wear, what you should do for a living, how much
money you should make, what you should drive, how and
where you should live, who you should marry, the
importance of having and raising children, and what you owe
your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who
you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values
you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through
life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity
are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the
mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not
your job to save the world and that you can't teach a
pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility
and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the
stake.
Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to
give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are
and not as you would have them be. You stop trying
to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings
aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly
OK....and that it is your right to want things and to
ask for the things you want ... and that sometimes it
is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect
and you won't settle for less.
And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water,
and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and
uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life
what you believe you deserve...and that much of life
is truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to happen
is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and
that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the
greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can
handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the
right to live life on your own terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting,
good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal
state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as
anger, envy and resentment must be understood and
redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to
build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort
in many of the simple things we take for granted,
things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water,
a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise to
never betray ourselves and to never, ever settle for
less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window
so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and God by
your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath,
and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best you can.
-- Author Unknown
