There comes a point when I think you have to put your foot down and insist that the people you love get the medical care they need. I knew Brian wasn't goingto get the surgery done for a while, and when he and his manager put it off twice because of touring, I said, "You know, you have to do this or I can't be your girlfriend anymore." I could see him just putting his life on the line all the time for work. I told him I couldn't be involved with him anymore if he continued to do that.
I was tough for Brian to take the time away from his schedule, but sometimes when you're in a group, you have to insist and say "Stop everything. Stop the production." I know he didn't want to tell the management he had to stop for a while because the Backstreet Boys were just huge, and it was one of the biggest tours ever. He didn't want to do it, but ultimately he knew he was going to have to stand up and say, "I have to face reality and I have to have this done."
I have this advice for any heart patient's family: be the most positive you can be. Ask questions - ask every question you can imagine, even if you think it's stupid. If you're going to break up and cry, go out of the room, do it, get yourself together, andthen go back in. For patients, try to be in the best health you can be before surgery. These days, open heart surgery is done every single day. Trust your doctor, because if you don't, there is no point in going further. But also remember that your doctor is not God. So if you don't trust him or like him, keep looking. You want a doctor who's sensitive. You don't want somebody who treats you like a number.