Anna signaled for a cab, and soon got one. She returned home to find the house completely empty. She briskly made her way up the stairs when the sound of the door being open echoed through the empty house. She grabbed her PJ's and took a long shower, letting the water wash away her pain and tears.
AJ raced home hoping to find Anna there, once he got home he heard the water running. He figured she would be in there trying to clear her mind so he went to the kitchen to make banana sundaes. When Anna got out of the shower she walked into the living room to find AJ there, with LOTS of ice cream. She smiled slightly, then remembered that he knew about Tom's little affair the whole time.
"AJ what are you doing...." she sighed.
"Being a good friend," he replied, Patting the couch for her to join him.
"No, a good friend would have told me about that sooner!"
"Listen Anna,"
"No, AJ you listen," she interrupted. "You knew about Tom the whole time, your suppose to be my best friend, why didn't you tell me, friends are suppose to be there for one another!" she cried, as a small tear fell down her cheek. She felt like her whole world was crashing down on her and there was no one there for her anymore.
"Anna you don't understand, I didn't know..."
"OMG AJ!!!! You just told me at the restaurant that you knew, now your lying? what next?"
"Anna please! You don't understand."
"There's nothing to understand AJ!" With that she turned on her heel and left the room.
AJ plopped back down on the couch with a loud sigh. He felt bad for Anna. She didn't deserve what just happened to her. He literally wanted to make Tom pay for what he had done. With that in mind he grabbed his keys and rushed out of the house.
When Anna heard the door shut she rushed back out and peered through the window to find AJ screeching out of the drive way. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach but pushed it away. She hoped he wasn't going to be doing anything stupid, but then again this was AJ, the guy who never let anything down without some sort of venting. Just as Anna's tears started to fall again, Nick came pouncing threw the door happily, but one glance of Anna's miserable face made him stop. Anna turned, wiping the tears from her cheeks, but when she turned around she found Nick sitting right there.
"Anna, what's wrong?"
"Oh Nick..." she cried again falling into his arms. All she needed right now was the comfort and support of another, and since she wasn't speaking to AJ and he wasn't there, she went for the next best thing. Nick took her into his arms reassuringly. He grazed his hand through her hair. She shuddered at the feeling and continued to cry harder then before.
AJ drove around town trying to clear his head. He decided after much debate that he shouldn't but in. As much as he wanted to take out his anger and frustration on Tom, he knew in the back of his head he shouldn't. After an hour of driving around aimlessly he decided he should go home before he got a ticket or caused an accident . So with that in mind he quickly drove home. He opened the door to the big white Victorian styled house he, Anna and Nick stayed in. When he walked in, he was surprised to find Nick and Anna cuddled up on the couch asleep in one another's arms. He began to feel threatened by this, everything he was feeling at the moment was seeping out little by little and it was cracking his ‘I'm -hard,- nothing- bothers -me' exterior. He was so close to just bashing anything in site. So he quickly walked to the back door and walked into the back yard, grabbing the first thing in site, which happened to be a metal golf club. He took it in his hand and with all his anger and frustration he smashed it against the huge tree, several times until he couldn't take it anymore and he dropped to his knees. Tears escaping his eyes, he screamed, "Why, why does this shit happen to me continually." ‘I'm losing everything that means the world to me, and I cant do shit about it!' he thought aloud. ‘Why does this happen to me! The one true person I have ever cared the most for, doesn't want to have anything to do with me! I'm losing my best friend!' he spoke out.
Nick awoke from all the noise that was coming from his back yard. He carefully moved off the couch trying not to wake Anna, and quietly crept outside to find AJ sitting in the wet grass with his head sunken in his hands. He didn't know what to do. He knew that if he was upset he would want to be left alone, but this was AJ. Trying to be a nice guy, Nick walked up a little. "Are you alright?" he asked. AJ looked up, his eyes swollen and red.
"Just leave me alone!" He growled. Nick took the hint and turned around leaving AJ by himself once again.
"God, why is this so hard!!! Why do I care so much, why when she hurts I do too. Why do I have to love her so much. Best of all why did I have to fall in love." he cried.
AJ gathered him self back up and walked into the house. It was now 8:00 and there was nothing for him to do, he couldn't sleep, and he really needed to get out his feelings. He grabbed a pen and paper, jotting down all his thoughts. After a bit it developed a poem. He was starting to fall asleep so he threw the paper down on the counter. And slowly made his way to his bedroom.
A few hours passed and Anna's attempt at sleeping failed. She walked down stairs to get a warm glass of milk, hoping it would calm her emotions, at least long enough for her to fall asleep. She flicked the light on and poured herself a glass, sticking it in the microwave for a quick heat. She was too lazy to get out a pot and then have to wash it too. The microwave came in quite handy in times like these. Once it was done she took it to the counter and sat on a the stool sipping it occasionally. She glanced down noticing a paper with AJ's chicken scratch writing on it, only one person could write so badly and it happen to be AJ. She picked it up and began reading it, she knew she shouldn't but, hey, it was just too tempting.
‘I mean if he didn't want anyone to read it, he wouldn't leave it in birds eye view' she thought.
It read,
"From the day we met, I fell in love, a beautiful face, a gorgeous smile, the deep brown eyes, you make life worthwhile. You make me weak, you make me shake, you make my heart wanna skip a beat. The things I say, the things I feel, I could never ever once reveal. We are friend's, the best in fact, but that says nothing about the way the lies come back. I cant keep this up, lying to myself the way I do, but I know our love can never be true. I want you more then I'll admit, I know the fact that I don't commit. The nights are lonely, the days so long, I'll wait for you in coming dates, only to care and anticipate. I can change, I swear it true, I want to be , only with you. As much as I care, as much as I feel, you seem to never notice my deal. I want you for my girl, I want you in my world. Tell me you love me, and I'll tell you, I'll always be there with you."
"WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME, SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND!"
Anna dropped the paper. She was shocked. She had no clue he ever felt this way, and wondered why he had never said anything. She never really thought about him in that manner for so long. Yes, she thought he was attractive, but she had been pushing away those feeling for so long, that she was use to only thinking of him as a friend. She wondered if the old feelings she felt were still there. This whole time she had a huge emptiness inside her that even her most serious boyfriend in the past didn't fill. Thoughts of AJ filled her head all night and she couldn't help but want him more and more every time she thought about him. She desperately needed to know if she had feeling beyond friendship inside her. When AJ got home from the studio that night Anna waited impatiently for him. She fixed her self up. She had on a short plain spaghetti strap tan dress that complimented her figure perfectly. Earlier that day she went to the salon and dyed her hair a dirty blonde almost a light brown. Which was a total different look for her. But it only made her look prettier, the color brought out her glowing hazel brown eyes and made her skin look flawless. They cut her hair a little bit below her shoulders and took out the perm.
She sat on the couch awaiting AJ's arrival. The door handle turned and her heart began to beat wildly. She became nervous, a new feeling that over whelmed her body. He opened the door and walked inside glumly. He didn't seem like his usual self, but then again there was nothing for him to smile about. Well besides the fact that they finally got a sample of their second CD, entitled Millennium. The album would be hitting stores soon and he had been ranting and raving about it all week. He had been looking forward to hearing it, but the package hadn't even been touched.
"Is that the new CD?" she asked.
"Yep," he said, but didn't even glance her way.
"Have you listened to it yet?"
"Nope."
"Er,... well do you want to listen to it, I was kinda hoping to hear it too." she smiled, but he still didn't look at her, which now started to annoy her.
"Knock your self out." he said and threw it over his shoulder. Anna caught it.
"AJ, I'm sorry about yesterday! I didn't mean what I said, I was just hurt. Please forgive me."
"No, Anna I'm sorry!" he replied and turned to face her. But was taken back by her beauty. He was in awe and couldn't really speak. The words were there, but he couldn't get them out. He knew he must look like a fool, but he really didn't care at the moment.
"You like?" she smile gracefully.
"I uhh...erm, definitely." he grinned.
"Well that's good."
‘Don't let your feelings get the best of you Alex, time to put on the hard-nothing -can- bother- you shell' he thought.
Anna looked into his eyes and could see everything he was feeling at the moment. As much as AJ tried to hide it, he couldn't, it just seeped through those big brown eyes of his.
He had an urge just to through away his conscious, and take her into his arms and show her all his love and compassion he had bottled up inside, but something told him no, so he held back the urge.
Anna weakened by his gaze, there was something holding him back and she couldn't figure out what it was. As much as she wanted to just give in and kiss him, she couldn't . Afraid of rejection, she turned and walked into the kitchen to gather her thoughts.
‘Why cant I just do it? If I do, I'll know if she feels anything for me, it's not like are friendship is getting any better anyway. God this is so hard.' he screamed in his head.
A couple months had passed and the two were literally falling apart, their lives were a mess.
AJ was hurting more then he thought possible. He lost touch with the guys when he went to stay with his mom . It hurt him severely seeing Anna, knowing she didn't want him. He was in love with her and she had no clue, so he thought and it was tearing him apart inside. All he wanted was for her to be the friend she used to be. She didn't have to love him back, he would have been semi happy with her friendship. But since they barely talk he couldn't even bare trying to tell her how he really felt. And Anna was hurting just as bad. The feelings she had so many years before returned to her, even more strongly then they had ever been. She wished for him to just tell her how he felt, but there was always something in the way. Every time she tried to talk to him he would just cower away. Anna wanted to tell him how she felt, but was afraid of rejection, what if he doesn't love me? What if it was all just a joke? She thought. She kept her feelings inside. It was eating her alive. She felt like hell and she looked it too. She lost a lot of weight and was real pale. She didn't even want to leave the house. The only time she did, was to go to work. Just a few days back the company she worked for was transferring her to a bigger record company with a bigger range of aspiring singers in L.A. All the way across the country. She hated the idea of leaving her home town, but it was a better career advancement, the pay was great. And what was here for her anyway? A bunch of broken friendships. Even her dad lived in L.A. and she wanted to visit him. She could restart her life. Have another chance at love and especially get away from AJ and the hurt she received from him. It was settled then, she was moving to L.A. A fresh start is just what she needed.
That night she called AJ.
"Hello?" came a woman's voice.
"Hi, is AJ home?" Anna replied sweetly.
"Anna?" Denise spoke.
"Yep, how are you?"
"Oh, I'm just great, but how are you?"
"Eh, I'm alright."
"Well that's great! I'm afraid AJ doesn't want to take any calls, but I'll get him anyways."
"Thanks Denise, you're the best!"
"I know sweetie" she replied and told AJ to answer the phone.
"Hello?" a rough voice echoed threw the receiver.
"AJ?"
"Yeah, Anna?"
"Yeah, I need to talk to you, will you meet me at the airport?"
"What? Why?"
"Just please do it. Meet me at......" she went on explaining where to find her. He agreed and hung up. They planned to meet at 3:00 PM, an hour before her flight.
Anna had all her things packed and a Uhaul and driver driving all her furniture across the country, accommodations of the new job offer she took up. She grabbed her 5 pull case suitcases and threw them in the taxi that was waiting for her. She hopped in the car and it took off in search of the airport. When they pulled in, she quickly checked her self over in her compact, after applying her lipstick she was satisfied. The cab pulled over and parked. Sure enough there was AJ standing out there, smoking a cigarette none the less.
‘God, when did he start that?' she thought, as she stepped out and AJ threw down his cigarette and briskly walked toward her. The two gazed at each other like they haven't seen each other in years.
"Here let me help you!" he said grabbing a few of the cases.
The two checked in her bags and got her ticket. After they finished, they walked over to the little bar out side her boarding entrance to sit down and talk.
"So?" he spoke.
"So... how are you?"
"Er, good!"he lied, not wanting to tell her that he was a total wreck without her, that he missed her so much.
"Well that's good!" she tried to smile. "But anyways... the reason why I wanted to meet you was to say goodbye." she added as a tear escaped her eye, but was kindly swept up by AJ's thumb.
"What?!?! you cant say good bye!!"
"AJ, me and you both know there's no reason for me to stay. I wish I could but there's more to offer me in L.A."
"What, L.A.?!?!?!" he practically screamed.
"Yes! As much as I want to stay.. There's just nothing here for me."
‘There's me, stay with me, I love you, come on AJ just tell her for gods sake, your letting her slip through your fingers.' he thought but said.. "But I thought you liked your old job, what about your friends?"
"My friends? There all drifting away."
"Please stay......"
"AJ, I can't!" she had tears streaming down her face by this time. She wanted to stay but she just couldn't things would never be the same between AJ and her, and he would be the only reason she'd stay. ‘There was no point, he doesn't love you!' she screamed inside her head.
"Oh god Anna, you cant leave me!!" he broke down in tears.
"AJ please don't cry, your making this so hard for me!"
"I'm sorry, but you mean so much to me, I love you, ya know that, we've been friends for so long, what am I going to do without you!!" he cried grasping her in a hug.
"You'll meet new people AJ! You have your band and your fame. It's easy for you to meet people." she tried to reassure him, and herself.
"No Anny...no one will ever replace you! Please , please, please don't leave me!"
"C4 to L.A. is now boarding."
"I'm sorry, I have to go." she said as the tears fell freely from her eyes, as she grabbed her bag. AJ wiped his eyes and walked her to the entrance.
"I got to go now AJ, I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too." he said as another tear fell down his cheek.
The two hugged and said their last goodbyes.
"I love you AJ, I always will!" she called.
"I love you too, more then you'll ever know." he practically whispered, and walked away with an empty heart. For AJ nothing will ever be the same. And for Anna, time will only tell.
** Poem written by me, and the song was from the new b&b CD.**