Chapter Four
"Don't do it, please, Nick don't." Nick turned back towards the water looking over the ocean. He shifted on his feet, his head spinning with decisions. He turned and looked at Aaron again. He stepped forward, ignoring Aaron's pleas.
The water reached his chest. Wanting one last look at his brother, Nick turned. "Aaron get back. You're gonna kill yourself."
"Nick, if I don't get to you, you will do the same." Pleading with his eyes, Aaron started speaking. "Nick, if you ever loved me you wouldn't do this."
Turning his back to Aaron once more, Nick whispered into the calming ocean, "I do love you Aaron." He dove into the water, vaguely hearing Aaron's screams. As his life faded, he saw Bren, waiting for him, with open arms.
"NOOOOOOO... Nick, NO, you can't... STOP playin'', it's not funny anymore." His eyes frantically searched the ocean, looking for Nick. He thought if he stood on the beach he would have a better chance of spotting his big brother. As he retreated back, Aaron got a chill down his back. "No, Nick, your not gone. You can't be."
Aaron sat on the beach where the water meets the sand, his eyes scanning the water, mumbling over and over, "No, Nick, no..."
'Your brother is devoted to you Nickolas. He'd do anything for you, he nearly risked his own life for yours.'
"That didn't happen Lessa."
'It could have happened Nickolas.' She paused at Nick look down at Aaron, sleeping in his arms. 'Do you know why he is so tired? Why he sleeps after you hold him?'
"I don't."
'For two nights he sat next to you in your bed and watched you sleep. He didn't want you away from him, out of his sight. He forced himself awake during the day and night to look over you.'
"Did he sleep at all?"
'Momentarily. His small body gave in, he slept against you, Nickolas.'
"I felt him. I didn't know what it was, I wanted it to be Bren." He thoughts went back to her, how she smiled at him before the accident.
"It's not fair, Lessa."
'Life is unfair, Nickolas. You taking your own life would be unfair.'
"Unfair to who? To you? I can't even see you."
'Look down, what's in your arms. Unfair to that young soul. Unfair to your parents, your band mates, yourself.'
"They'd get over it."
'I don't think they would Nickolas.'
"Aaron... where are you shorty?" He heard Brian calling his name, but couldn't move. He sat there staring at the water. "AARON? Your Mom is looking for you." From the back of the house, Brian spotted Aaron sitting at the waters edge. Running through the sand, Brian stood behind him, saying, "Aaron, your Mom is looking for you. Have you seen Nick? We were supposed to shoot some hoops today."
"Water." Aaron sat still, tears still flowing from his eyes, searching the water.
"What's water? Something in the water you're looking for? A shark out there or something?" Brian laughed, not yet seeing Aaron's face.
"No shark, Nick." Brian sat with Aaron, looking for Nick. "Nick's out there? I don't see him." Brian extended his neck looking out towards the water.
"Underwater." Brian finally looked at Aaron, seeing the dirt that streaked down his face from his tears. "What's wrong buddy?"
"Nick's in the water..."
"What's so bad about that? He always goes in the water. He loves it."
"Not a good thing today, Brian. He said he can't love anymore. He hasn't come up for air and I tried to stop him and he wouldn't stop and he told me he doesn't love me. Make him come up for air, Brian. Please help him." Brian stood, knowing too clearly what Aaron's words meant. "NICK? NICK CAN YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME..."
Brian ran forward, into the water in search of Nick. "Aaron, you stay right where you are. DO NOT MOVE from that spot! I'm gonna look for Nick." Brian walked further into the ocean. "NICK!!! NICK, COME ON... you scaring your brother..." he yelled, and silently said, 'and me too for that matter.' When he was out far enough, he dove under the clear water, his eyes open, searching for Nick. Not finding anything, he came up to breath, and ducked back under, swimming further out.
On the beach, Aaron muttered, "No, no, no, no, no..."and began rocking himself back and forth. He watched as Brian's head would come up every few seconds and go back under.
Thoughts flashed through Brian's head, vivid images of when he first met a scrawny Nick to last night at the party. 'God, please let me find him.' Diving once more, he spotted something. Swimming closer to the object, he stayed under water as long as he could before coming up for air once more. Taking one deep breath, he dove down to the ocean floor and found what he had spotted. A sneaker. A large white basketball sneaker sitting alone on the oceans bottom. Brian floated back to the top of the water, and ran his hand over his wet hair. He swam quickly back to Aaron, crawling up to the young boy. "Aaron, where you here when he went into the water?"
He couldn't bring his eyes to Brian's face, he simply nodded. "Oh god Aaron, come here." He didn't move. Brian stood and used all his effort to pick up Aaron. "Did he say anything?"
"Brian, I feel sick. Can you take me home?" Brian managed to take three steps before hearing Aaron gag. "Hold off a sec..." Brian placed him back on the sand and rubbed his back while he vomited. "It'll be okay Aaron. I'll be here for you now." Aaron rested his head against Brian's shoulder, telling him, "I told him no... I don't him not to but he did. Why? He said he don't love me..."
"Aaron, when we get to the house, I want you to try to sleep. I know it will be hard, but I will stay with you."
"Can I sleep in Nick's room?" Fighting back his own tears, Brian choked, "Yeah, Aaron, you can sleep in Nick's room."
"Why are you showing me this? Why do I need to see this?"
'So you know that you are love. That taking your life is not that answer, Nickolas. Many people will miss you, cry over you, mourn for...'
"Many people? What? Do you mean the fans?"
'Your followers and your friends. You have many friends, Nickolas.'
"It would have been my decision."
'I know, and everyone respects another's decision. Yours, however, would have effected many lives. Just look.'
As Brian got closer to the house, his speed quickening with each step. He pushed the door in with force, almost knocking it from its hinges. Running up the stairs, he place Aaron in the center of Nick's bed and threw one of his sweatshirts over him. He ran back down to see Bob and Jane inspecting the door. "Brian, what the hell... why are you wet?"
"I need a phone. I need a phone now." Bob went to get the phone while Jane tried to calm Brian. He snatched the phone from Bob and walked into the next room. "911, how can I help you?"
"My friend... he's in the water... he..." sobs overtook his voice, nothing more would come from him at that moment.
"Sir, sir are you still there?"
"Yes, I'm here," he croaked through the phone.
"Your friend is in the water? What is he doing?"
"I don't know. He's gone. I found his shoe."
"Did he drown, Sir?"
"I don't think so, I think he committed suicide," Brian relayed into the phone. Jane stood at the door, her hand covering her mouth, silent cries coming from her. Bob has his arm around her, trying to protect her from the pain that would ensue. All three of their heads look up towards Nick room, confirming their fears, hearing Aaron scream, "NICK... NO... PLEASE NO... DON'T DIE... NO NICK...." Bob left a teary-eyed Jane and ran up the stairs, taking two at a time, trying to comfort and calm his youngest son.
"Okay Sir, give me the location you are at now and I will dispatch officers and a coast guard, if necessary, to the location."
"If necessary?? What do you mean, if necessary?? Yes, it's necessary. He's out there... alone... somewhere... It's unfair... Get someone here now!!" He rattled off the address where they were, and hung up the phone. Wiping his tear-streaked face, he turned to find Jane standing there, in shock. He walked over to her, sat her down and watched as grief quenched her face.
"Nick didn't... he couldn't... please tell me you didn't mean Nick."
Not knowing what to say, Brian told Jane what had happened. "My babies. My boys. Oh god, why did you let him leave me? He was so young." Brian could do no more than he was. Letting her headrest against his shoulder and trying to comfort her.
'Do you see how you are slowly changing their lives Nickolas?' He did not answer. He looked at Aaron, wondering how he would be in 5 years, had he done it. 'You'll know soon enough, Nickolas. But first, we have to watch your family and closet friends while the police conduct the search for your body.'
Chapter 5
Chapter 3
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