Christmas 2001, Tampa

Nick had just made it back to Tampa in time for Christmas. He had begun some recording over in Sweden, for what could be his first solo effort. All the guys were burned out, and they all agreed that they would all take a much needed break. Nick hadn't really discussed what he was going to do with his time off with the other guys just yet, but he would. Right now, some writing and recording was like good therapy for him, since his biggest problem was how in the world he was going to take care of Danielle and her baby. There I go again, he thought. It's OUR baby. I'm going to take care of Danielle and OUR baby. So first things first, was accepting the fact that Danielle was carrying Joey's baby. And second would be how they were going to pull it off. Of course it wouldn't be hard for anyone to believe it was Nick's baby. But it wasn't everyone else he was worried about. It was Joey.

He had bought Danielle a charm bracelet for Christmas. With two charms to start. One being a heart with "N" and "D" inscribed on it. The other being a baby bootie charm. This would definitely let her know that he was behind her. And he was, even though he was scared to death. They would have to tell people soon. The last time he talked to Danielle, she said that her tummy was starting to poke out. But she was so thin, that even with that, no one would really notice yet.

They were going to celebrate Christmas just the two of them at Danielle's home. Danielle had a hard time explaining to her father and brother why she wouldn't be home for Christmas this year. It tore her up to not be there, but Nick was right. She had just been home for Thanksgiving, and her and Nick needed their own private time. Away from hotels, and anyone else. Just the two of them, at least until he had to go back to Sweden, which wasn't till right after the New Year.

Danielle cooked a nice dinner for them and they sat in front of her small fake Christmas tree on her living room floor. They ate dinner on the coffee table and then turned off all the lights to watch the lights on the tree twinkle in dark. Nick laid a blanket in front of the tree and they laid down, grabbing some couch pillows for their heads.

He put his hand on her tummy and gently rubbed it. She placed her hand on top of his and let out a deep sigh.

"Hey little person in there," Nick whispered. "Everything okay? How do you like your first Christmas?"

Danielle looked at Nick in awe. She couldn't believe how well he was handling the whole situation. She, herself, was scared out of her mind. She knew she wasn't ready for a baby. She hadn't planned on having one for quite a while. And she was waiting for her motherly instincts to kick in and be gung ho about the pregnancy. She was just getting over her bouts of morning sickness and so far, the idea of having Joey's baby, even if Nick wanted to claim it as his own, tore her apart. This baby would always be a reminder of what happened that night. And now, she would never be able to forget. So, how Nick could be so supportive, she couldn't understand.

She looked over at him, "You really are something."

"What do you mean?" he asked surprised.

"I don't know how you can be so calm and collected about this," she whispered. "This bracelet and everything. I mean, I love it. It's very touching. But, I just can't get over the fact that I could be much happier about this whole thing if this really was your baby. It's tearing me apart watching you play the part of the happy father, when I know deep down, this is killing you."

"I don't know what else to do, Dani," he replied. "I mean, what CAN I do? Leave? I'm not willing to be without you."

"You could leave. I wouldn't hold it against you," she said looking down at their hands intertwined on her tummy.

"Babygirl? Honestly? I've thought about it. I really have. But we've already come this far," he said.

"Yeah, but you'll be going back to Sweden soon. And you won't have to deal with it anymore. Before you know it, it'll be June, and the baby will be here," she told him. She looked up at him, "And then what?"

"I don't know, we just deal with it," he said with a shrug.

"Nick, I'm afraid there is a lot more to think about than just 'dealing' with it. Where am I going to put the nursery? How am I going to pay for everything? If you're willing to call this baby yours, do I really put your name on the birth certificate? Are you gonna marry me or something? What do we tell our families? And most importantly. . . what if this baby comes out with dark hair and dark eyes. We both have blue eyes and well, I know I don't have black hair. Sooooooooo?" she rambled.

"I guess I haven't really thought about any of this," he answered defeated. "So, do you want to get married?"

"No. No way, Nick. That is NOT how I want a proposal. If you really want to marry me, then I want it to be for the right reasons. And, I want the fairytale proposal. There is no way, I'm going to let you marry me to save my "knocked up" reputation," she said sitting up.

"Well, your dad is going to want to kill me," he shot back.

"You underestimate my father! It's my BROTHER who's going to want to kill you," she smirked.

"Great," Nick murmured impatiently, getting up from his spot on the floor. "Well, this has been lovely."

"Nick?" Danielle whined. "What?"

"What in the fuck do you want me to do, Danielle?" Nick yelled.

"What?" she said taken aback.

"I mean it! What do you want me to fucking do?" he fumed. "I have been NOTHING. I mean, NOTHING but supportive since what happened to you."

He began to count off on each of his fingers. "You wanted space, I gave you space. You don't want to be intimate, fine. It's your call. NOW, you're pregnant and this isn't even my fucking baby! So what do I do? I offer to be a father to this baby, and now even THAT isn't good enough. So tell me, Danielle, what the fuck DO you want?"

Danielle began to cry as he continued to yell and when he was finished, she really didn't know what it was she wanted. "I don't know what I want! But I can tell you what I don't want!"

She wiped her nose on her sleeve and was now standing up facing Nick. "I don't want to be pregnant. I don't want to have Joey's baby. I don't want to think about how I'm going to DO this. I don't want you to be unhappy anymore. I don't want to tell my dad. I don't want you to go back to Sweden. I don't want us to fight! What do I want? I want my old life back!!"

Nick looked defeated. "I. . . I. . . c-can't give that to you, Danielle."

She saw the tears in his eyes, and he felt the pain that was within her. "I don't want us to fight either. And if I could take all of this pain away from you, I would. You KNOW I would. Danielle, don't you know by now that I would do anything for you?"

"Then stay home. Don't go back to Sweden," she pleaded.

"Aw, baby. You know I can't do that," he shook his head at her. "You could come with me?"

"Uh, I don't think so. I don't want to be traveling overseas pregnant. AND. . . when would I see you anyway? You'll be in the studio all the time," she answered flatly. "I want you to stay here, and help me. Help me with all this mess."

"I can have BJ come up here and stay with you. She can help you with everything, like the nursery and stuff. Believe me, my family will take the news much better than yours will."

"Yeah, right. Like your MOM is going to understand. Sure," Danielle said sarcastically. "AND. . . I don't WANT BJ to help me. I WANT YOU!"

"The one thing you want from me, is the one thing I can't give you right now," he said sadly, turning away from her. "Isn't it enough that I'm going to be the father?"

"Not if you don't act like it now," she sniffed.

"Danielle, this is different. I need just as much time to adjust to this as you do. I NEED to go to Sweden. I'll be a much better person for you if I do go," he tried to explain.

The tears formed in her eyes again. "This is different, huh? Yeah, I guess you're right," the sarcasm coming back into her voice. "Well, the next time I get raped, I'll make sure that I tell him to wear a condom so that I won't have to worry about you having to take care of someone else's child."

"Danielle, that's not what I meant," he started.

"No, Nick. I think that's exactly what you meant," she began to walk out of the living room and up the stairs. "You better pack for Sweden. I'll make sure little Fatone here and I don't bother you."

"Danielle?" he called up the stairs to her.

"Merry Christmas, Nick!" she yelled back. And slammed her bedroom door.

The tears began to flow down her cheek as she stood against the door. Little Fatone. God, was this really happening? This baby is going to tear us apart, she thought to herself. She listened against the door and could hear Nick leaving, which made her cry harder. At this point, there was nothing else they could discuss. Nothing that could salvage their Christmas. They both needed time to cool off and think. She went over to her closet and pulled a box out of the corner on the floor. She sat down on the floor and opened the box. She reached in and picked up a framed picture. It was a small 4x6 picture of her and Joey. She looked intently at it. She could see how much they loved each other in that picture. How happy they were. A year ago, she would have been thrilled to be carrying Joey's baby. She ran her fingers over his face. What happened to you, Joey? Why did this all have to happen? I loved you so much then, and now I feel so much hatred for you now. Tears began to form in her eyes again and she placed the picture back in the box, closed it up and put it back in the closet. She got up off the floor and went over to her nightstand where there was a picture of her and Nick. She smiled looking at Nick's face and the expression on hers. She knew that with Nick is where she belonged. He would always love her. And everything that he has done to be by her side through the entire year. He WOULD do anything for her. In one way, she felt she needed to do something for him and be supportive in his going and recording. But in another way, she felt she had every right to need to be selfish.

"What a mess," she sighed, crawling into bed. She placed her hand on her tummy. "Little baby, don't be anything like your father."

Nick had left Danielle's house, knowing there was no point in trying to argue or fix things for the night. He didn't want to go to his house and spend the night alone, but that's where he headed. He would talk to Danielle tomorrow, when they both had cooled off.

"Maybe I should just stay home, for awhile," Nick said aloud to himself in the Escalade. Then he shook his head, "No, this is my time. This is MY time."

He continued to run everything over in his head. He wished she would just come with him to Sweden, but she was right. She would be alone there too. And there were things to do to get ready for the baby. Maybe he could talk her into moving to Marathon. He was planning on selling his Tampa house soon, anyway and they could reside in the guest house, and then his family could help take care of her and get ready. Then he wouldn't worry so much about her. He knew the time was coming where they would need to tell people, and so that would be just as good a time as any.

Nick pulled into his driveway and parked the truck. He went inside and turned on the stereo, and turned the volume up loud. He went into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. He walked out onto the patio area, leaving the patio door open so he could still hear the music. He sat back in one of the chaise lounge chairs. And one by one, he put back the beers, eventually passing out on the patio.

January 1, 2002

Nick and Danielle still had not really patched things up completely, and she was becoming more irritable. She didn't even go out with him on New Year's because she wasn't feeling well. He understood. And she encouraged him to go out without her. She was too tired to even stay up to see midnight, much less go out.

The discussion about her moving to Marathon did not go as well as he had hoped. She was flat out against leaving her home to be "babysat". She appreciated the thought, but her frustration with him was becoming more prominent. She didn't know if it was so much NICK that was bothering her, as it was just their situation. Because of that tension, he spent most of his time since Christmas with Jeff and the boys. It was good to be with them again. He missed his posse and frankly, he needed a break from Danielle's mood swings. He couldn't please her these days. No matter what he did.

He went over to her place after he woke up from sleeping off a mild hangover from the New Year's festivities. Her door was unlocked and so he went right in.

"Danielle!" he yelled. "You here?"

"In the kitchen," she yelled back.

He went into the kitchen to see her sitting at the dining room table eating a plate of waffles and with peanut butter and syrup, reading a magazine. She looked up from her magazine after taking a bite, "Hey you."

"Hey yourself," he said grabbing a chair and sitting at the table with her. "How you feeling, today?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm spotting a little bit," she said looking back at her magazine.

"Spotting? What's that?" he asked.

"Bleeding. But I don't think it's anything to worry about right now. It's not gushing, it's just a bit of spotting. That's normal for a lot of women," she explained.

"Maybe you should call the doctor, just in case," he suggested.

"It's New Year's Day, I'm not going to bother them today. It's fine," she reassured him. "How are YOU feeling? Have fun last night?" Looking up at him, with a smirk.

"Good time, I missed you though," he said. "You know, they say who you kiss at midnight is who you will be with for the year."

"Oh really?" she smiled, resting her chin in her palm. "And, who, did YOU kiss?"

"Once again, this year. I kissed NO ONE at midnight," he teased. "Think we could pretend it's midnight right now?"

She smiled warmly and took his hand from across the table. She truly did love Nick. They'd had a rough week, but now looking across the table from him, she felt all the love she had for him come rushing back.

"I think we could try to pretend," she answered and stood up to lean over the table toward him.

"Uh ah," he said, standing up coming around the table to her. "We're gonna do this properly. You haven't been properly kissed in awhile."

He scooped his arm around her back, holding her close to him, feeling her tiny belly protruding against him. He took his other hand and held her face in his hands. She wrapped one arm around his neck and the other around his back and stood on her tiptoes to reach up to him.

She lifted her head to meet his and he whispered, "Happy New Year, Danielle."

"Happy New Year, Nick," she whispered back.

Their lips met gently. It felt like their first kiss. She felt the tingle in her legs and the softness of his lips. She parted her lips and let her tongue lick against his soft lips. He had a bit of stubble on his upper lip and chin that scratched her slightly as he opened his mouth to her parted lips. Their mouths fit perfectly. A sealed kiss, just like she always loved. Their tongues danced together for a moment and they held onto each other, as they made sure they made this kiss worthwhile.

When they parted, they both felt as though the tension between them had been lifted.

"Amazing how one kiss can make the world a better place, huh?" she whispered.

He felt a warmness inside him and he nodded before placing another kiss on her lips.

Nick and Danielle spent that afternoon lounging together, watching football and cuddling on her couch. Danielle felt horrible that she wasted so much of the week being angry and impatient with him and not savoring this time, because, he was leaving for Sweden in two days.

Later that evening, she started to feel crampy again and exhaustion set over her quickly. She got so tired so early these days and she wanted to go to bed. Nick had just gotten a call from Jeff to see if he would be joining them for the evening. At first Nick told him no, that he was going to stay with Danielle, but Danielle insisted that he go with Jeff. She was just going to bed anyway and he could come back to her place to spend the night if he wanted. Nick protested with her, but when she started getting crabby about it, he caved and said that he would go. They had had such a good day together, he didn't want to upset her again. And besides, it was 8pm, and she was going to bed. So, Jeff and the boys picked him up at Danielle's.

They got to the club and went right into VIP. Jeff and Nick sat on one of the couches there and Jeff finally asked the question that had been burning in his mind for the past week.

"Okay, so tell me what is going on," he asked.

"With what?" Nick asked looking away from his friend.

"Nick. With you and Danielle? Why hasn't she been coming out with us? And something is going on, because you're a fucking drinking machine this past week, partyman," he said flatly.

"She's just been tired. And moody. She's not too happy that I'm going back to Sweden," he explained hoping that Jeff would drop it for now.

"Trouble in paradise?" Jeff asked.

"Nah, just normal stuff. You know?" Nick said, averting his eyes from Jeff.

"Okay," Jeff said. "And so, what else is the reason?"

"What? That's it. She's just pissed that I'm going to Sweden," Nick said taking another drink.

"And WHY is it again that she's NOT going with you?" Jeff inquired further. "Seems to me that she wouldn't have a problem with you going, since she understands your career and all. She's never struck me as the type to let that upset her."

"Well, she just doesn't want to go to Sweden. And she IS supportive. She does understand, she just misses me that's all," Nick tried to cover.

"And that's why you've been with us all week," Jeff added. "Nope. Not buying it Nick."

Nick let the frustration show on his face. "Can't you just fucking drop it, Jeff? Seriously, just don't worry about me and Danielle."

"What the fuck? Don't jump down my throat!" Jeff shot back.

"Don't be an asshole, J!" Nick raised his voice.

"Fine! Quit being a jackass yourself!" he shot back. "But if something is going on. . ."

"Jeff! What did I just say?" Nick yelled between the two of them.

Jeff put both of his hands up, "Okay, okay."

Nick continued drinking and he and Jeff tried to put their discussion from earlier to rest. And the rest of the night would have been okay, had they not encountered some undesirables on their way out from the club.

As they were leaving, some guys approached Nick and Jeff just outside the club.

"So, Carter! Where's your lady?" one of them asked.

"Home, what's it to you?" Nick said, clearly drunk.

"Home, huh? I would have thought you would have dumped her by now," another one said.

"Guys! Take off!" Jeff yelled to them, trying to steer Nick away.

"Yeah, Joe told us that you guys wouldn't last," the other one said. "You know, Joey don't you Nick?"

Nick stopped walking and turned back around. "You guys got something to say!"

"Nick, let's just go," Jeff said, grabbing onto his shirt as Nick began walking back toward the two guys.

Nick pulled his arm away from Jeff and continued on. "What? What you got to say?!" he yelled.

One of the guys laughed at Nick, "Look at you. Out here with your buddies, while she's at 'home' you say?"

"Not what I heard," said the other.

"Nope. In fact, from what I heard, she went back with our boy, didn't she?" the one said.

"Your boy? Who's that," Jeff asked smugly, looking at Nick.

"Our boy, Joe! You know, her OTHER boyfriend?" the other laughed.

"You better just shut the fuck up right now," Nick warned.

"Oh really?" the one laughed. "Quite the temper you have. Such a temper and yet you can't keep a leash on that girl of yours. Oops. I meant, that girl of Joe's."

"You know, if you guys got something to say, just say it," Jeff said. "Nick, let's just go."

"I ain't fucking going anywhere," Nick protested. "You mother fuckers want to shoot your mouths off?"

"Hey, who's shooting mouths off? We're just saying what we heard," the other one said.

"Yeah, don't you know to just let her go? It's just gonna happen, Carter," the one egged on.

"Yeah, he told me that it was just like always with her," the other continued getting right in Nick's face smirking. "And she loved every minute of it."

"Fuck you!" Nick yelled pushing him hard and Jeff grabbed onto Nick. And with that, came the yelling match between the two parties.

"Can't take it, can you?!"

"You tell that son of a bitch to stay the hell away from her!" Nick yelled.

"Can't do that, man! She's all his! Tell her that!"

In the midst of all the chaos, was when the police showed up. Jeff tried to explain to the police that he was just trying to get Nick home, and how the other guys were hassling him. But the police saw who they had and decided to take advantage of it.

"Mr. Carter? Mind if we talk to you?" one officer said.

"Just keep those fuckers the hell away from me!" Nick yelled.

"Nick, just shut up," Jeff said quietly.

"Mr. Carter! Could you please step over to the car?"

"Fuck that!" Nick yelled. "I'm getting the fuck out of here."

And as soon as Nick turned to walk away, the officers both ran after him and told him he was under arrest. Apparently, the yelling match prompted someone to call the cops with a disturbing the peace, type of complaint and a possible fight. With Nick's drunken belligerence and apparent lack of cooperation with the police, they arrested him for resisting arrest and public disturbance. In the meantime, Joey's friends had disappeared in to the night.

Luckily, Nick wasn't hauled into the station. He was issued a citation and released on his own public recognition. Jeff took him Danielle's, and got him in and passed out on the couch. The next day was going to be a bitch.

Nick's arrest was all over the media the next day. Not only was it all over, but it was also very inaccurate. He explained to Danielle what had happened, and she understood his anger, but reminded him that he needed to just walk away. Rumors were flying left and right as to why Nick was arrested, and Nick stood adamant that he was arrested because he was Nick Carter. The whole scenario was not what someone would get arrested for. No one was physically fighting. And really, Nick was just trying to go home. The publicists for the Backstreet Boys kicked into overtime, even though they thought they would relatively not be busy at all at this time. And Nick ended up calling to tell his story on TRL to clear the air.

Nick left for Sweden, a couple days after his incident in Tampa, after his lawyers got clearance from the court that he could leave the country for work. It was at this time that he also informed the rest of the guys that he was starting work on his solo album. An announcement that shocked some of them, and was shrugged off by the others.

Kevin immediately went into defensive mode, whereas AJ was most supportive. Nick also told them at that time that Danielle was pregnant. He didn't divulge any other information, but made it known that it was his baby. To which all of the boys went into defensive mode. Kevin started lecturing Nick about contraceptives, Brian went into the whole conception before marriage thing. AJ and Howie were more worried about NICK being a father. Nick asked AJ and Howie to try and look after Danielle while he was away. To his dismay, they couldn't. Both were heading to L.A. for a couple weeks.

As much as Nick wanted to be with her right now, he just had to have faith that she could be strong on her own for a few more weeks. He just needed to do a few more weeks of recording and then he would be free to come home and help her get things ready. Then he would re-evaluate at that time if he would continue recording in the US or go back to Sweden.

The hardest part over the next couple weeks would be on Danielle. Since they wanted to have Nick's publicist put together a release to officially announce her pregnancy, they wanted to wait as long as possible and definitely not announce it until he was back. So that meant, that Danielle would be sticking close to home. For even longer. Alone.

Chapter 25
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