My one and perhaps only reasonable New Years resolution. Keep a journal, I haven't kept up on one in three years. I'm gonna start off slow, perhaps once a week to see if I can keep up. But I need this. I miss haveing a place to pour my thoughts, something to look back on. So here it goes, =)
From the beginning......
Spent the New Years fighting with Shawn. Not the greatest of ways to ring in the New Year.
But I was (still am if I think about it) MAD!!!! Grrrrrrr........He sold his stupid truck. Which wasn't so much the problem. We were going to sell it anyways. It was that he did it without telling me. We had talked at length about what we were going to do with the truck. And (I thought) we had agreed, for many reasons, to wait. All our discussion was just, well pointless I guess. Everything thing I said must have gone in one ear and out the other. Shawn had obviously made up his mind. But instead of telling me so, he went around behind my back, put the truck in the paper and didn't tell me what he was up to until after he sold it. It's the dishonesty, and the my opinion doesn't matter that bothers me the most.
He said he didn't tell me because he knew I'd be mad (Duh) That he'd rather have me mad one day then the whole time he was trying to sell it. That's about the stupidest thing I've heard. Especially since his sneaking around behind my back STILL makes me upset. I feel like he has shaken my trust in him and I hate it. The totally emotional, illagical side of me wonders what else has he not told me or done behind my back. I'm mad at him for ever putting those doubts in my head.
Yes, the truck was technically his. If you want to get technical. But I dumped alot of my paychecks into as well. However none of that should even matter. We're married, what's mine is his and vis-versa. Or that's how it should be, and was until he redrew the separation lines with this whole stupid thing. (Heavy sigh) I hate this feeling I have. But I'll move on....
After a day of me not talking to him. Not that he was around much. Shawn, not liking the weight of the silence choose not to be home.
Anyways, In the mean time Lauren and I were having a grand ol' time. We watched time zone after time zone ring in the New Year. Our own fireworks display was canceled because of really cold weather and ice fog. So we stayed home and enjoyed the rest of the worlds. I liked Sydney's, Paris's and of course New York's best. As our own New Years approached I finally just desided that nothing was going to make me feel better about the whole truck thing. So I might as well just buck up and not let it follow me into the next millennium. This was around eleven, I told Shawn I loved him and that I was still upset, but that I was not going to let it ruin my New Year. With the tension broken we broke out the champagne and my new, beautiful gobblets I got for Christmas. Toasted in 2000 and toasted and toasted =) One bottle of champagne is entirely to much bubbly for two light weights like ourselfs I've desided. For once all liquored up I gave him a few choice peices of my mind that I probably shouldn't have. But that was basically be the end of it.
However I will be giving him shit over it for a awhile. Especially since like that next morning I had to be at the bank early for yearly statements and my little car wouldn't start. I ended up having to take a cab to work. Gee, if only we had the truck =)