Oh, man...my side hurts.
This is f**kin' great. God Bless Ted V. Mikels....
>BWA-HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!<
Okay...ahem...I think I can make it through this.
Recently, I received an e-mail from a Ron Davidson, who is an authority on collecting, amongst other things, cardboard cereal boxes. I found the hobby to be a fairly interesting one, and took an notion to partake in it, e-mailling Mr. Davidson about the proper methods of storage, displaying one's collection, and such.
Quote-
"An older full box (20 years or more), is worth slighly more than an empty box (because of the rarity of a full box compared to an empty one). People are to accept slightly more damage from an older box that is full. The hassle of storing full boxes doesn't make up for the slight increase in value 20 years down the road. All cereal boxes have unhatched bugs in them, they are harmless to digest, but are a pain when they hatch and become a flying moth-type insect. The bugs start hatching about 1-to-2 years after the cereal's expiration date."- Unquote
He goes on to say that these little buggers are in every type of cereal...it's an inescapeable part of the process of making the stuff. So with every bowl of cereal you have eaten in your life, you've gotten a special prize inside....and I ain't talkin' about marshmallows, either.
After reading this, I was inspired to dig out my ancient VHS of this little masterpiece....
Mas hysteria explodes everywhere when felines begin being thrown from off-screen...ahem...um, I mean.."attacking" (yeah, that's it!) the masters Why? Because Morris the Cat is actually the Alien Anti-Christ!!!!!!
Sorry...decided to have a 1970s marathon here at the house over the weekend and watched Larry Cohen's GOD TOLD ME TO..right after this flick...
Anyways...it seems some shoddy business practices have caused the local cat food cannery to start losing some of it's surplus of raw materials, and they start substituting human by-products.
The cops get wind of this, and the cat food processors get their just desserts with the help of their own cat food grinder. Oh bitter irony...you are a cold mistress.
THE END.
This why I don't even attempt to try and eat healthy.
My sister and mother recently joined Weight Watchers, God Bless 'em...it seems to really be helping them. But, with their talk of "counting points" and "what I can't eat", it makes it sound like these meeting they attend involve some sorta religious cult. I jokingly told the other day not to drink any of the Kool-Aid. Wanna real horor story about the stuff ya eat that ironically involves another of Mikel's epics? My mom and dad useta own a little mom n' pop type country general store, where they sold coldcut meats. take a looka t the ingredients on bologna or hot dogs, and you'll notice a little product called "bioearthian"...
What's that? Earth worms...no lie...looks like Ted wasn't too far off with THE WORM EATERS, eh?
Jeez....who woulda thought that when I grew up, smoking and drinking would be the healthiest vices I could have?