ANGRY MESSIAH PAGE OF THE GODS!


Back in the day, when I was but a wee lad, the father of I told of a
fantastical land...
Incredible Zanzibar of the Pacific!

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I attend the institution called Piedmont High School in the greater
Bay Area. It isn't that great of a school in my humble opinion. The
slanderous faculty, headed by the notoriously tall and skinny, Bradford
of the hell hole, kills things and dances around, spewing vomit and blood
around the face of the earth!

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AND NOW A WORD FROM DRUNKEN HILLBILLY:
(in a riveting and provocative dialogue with Bradford)
Drunken Hillbilly: I eat things that I find on the side of the road!
Bradford: What types of things precisely?
DH: BAH! woman! what the blazes do you be
talking of?
B: When you say things like that, it makes it seem as if you are
discriminating against women everywhere. That's not achieving the honorable.
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Fascinating!
For more wonderful and clear minded topics, visit the best damn feminist site that has a link on this page
A Cat May Murder What's Left Of A Pig And Eat It, Hey?
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Before I continue, I think it only proper to inform the honored audience
of a very troubling issue that has just arisen. It seems that Piedmont,
California may not be able to declare statehood after all. The government
of the United States of America has denied our humble request for total
independence. Still... we are at this moment mobilizing our military for a
mass invasion of Oakland (the neighboring city.) Once everyone sees how
serious we are, we believe that statehood will soon follow. Then the whole
of the country shall worship us as Gods! [diabolical laughter.]
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Messiah Links Page!
Evil Monkey Horde of the Damned Fan Club!
Fascism, alive and well!
The Randomness
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And Now...
another riveting dialogue! [This time with the almighty God (in the form of the honorable Mayor of Piedmont) speaking to a lowly juvenile hooligan.]

M.O.P.: you know, you're damn lucky to be living in the conservative
paradise that is the city of Piedmont.
J.H.: I want some food laced with cocaine.
M.O.P.: I hear you, you're saying you want to bring
this country to the ground. Well son, I understand you're confused, heck
you might even be angry, but that don't change the fact that you're a no
good hooligan communist liberal bastard!
J.H.: (confused) liberal?
M.O.P.: That's right, we raging conservatives, as
the patrons of this fair city, have tried to shield you and all of
Piedmont's youth from the foul and ungainly plague that is liberalism, but
some of you have gone astray.
J.H.: (even more confused) yeah?
M.O.P.: Oh yes. fortunately for all of the holy
Christian conservatives, I, the mayor of Piedmont, have ratified the formal
proposal to allow any God-faring Christian conservatives to shoot down any
and all infidel hooligan communist liberals, such as yourself, as I am
convinced that it is what Jesus would do. (shoots the hooligan)
J.H.: Ow! hey you shot me!
M.O.P.: resistance is futile! The earth shall be
cleansed of the disease which you have brought upon it! DIE INFIDEL SATAN
HIPPIE!! (shoots the hooligan again)
J.H.: (dying) blast!




NOW, THE JOHANSEN'S CORNER OF FUN!!!

Happy Cousin Johansen works as a fireman at the Johansenville Fire Dept. He
does nothing but sit around and choke gerbils, which he believes to be spies
from Johansenville's rival city, Atlanta. People walk by Happy Cousin Johansen
and call him names like "damn dirty Johansen" and "Man prostitute of Hell"
Happy Cousin Johansen doesn't hear them though, he isn't quite right in the head.
THE LORD OF THE GONDOLIERS WILL DESCEND FROM ON HIGH, CARRYING QUITE THE BASKET OF PLAGUE IN THE HOPES THAT HIS PROCLAMATION "I, THE GONDOLIER LORD,
CONQUEROR OF THE GREAT LEMON SQUARE OF YORE, SHALL COMMAND MY DUE RESPECT FROM THE LOWLY VOLES OF THE FERTILE VALLEY" WILL BE REALIZED AS A GOOD PROCLAMATION INDEED.