The Book Of Todd

If God had wanted you to run around naked, he would have made you that way.

-One of the most oxymoronic expressions I have ever heard.

Telling people that they have done a good job when they haven't is just as wrong as saying "I love you" when you don't.

-The Book of Todd, The Lost Chapters, stanza 8

Call me Todd, no one else does.

-The Book of Todd, Ch 1, stanza 1

Just remember...Some people follow the philosophies of Socrates, others the philosophies of Plato; some even ascribe to the enlightened thoughts of Aristotle or Ghandi... ...but I, I prefer to adhere to the simple thoughts of Rex, the Golden Retriever: "Whatever falls to the ground is fair game."

-contributed by my best friend, Konrad

Nine out of ten Grizzly Bears prefer the human arm to the offered peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

-Statistical findings as published by Fish & Wildlife Census takers

Feet are meant to be ugly....this is why God made shoes.

-The Book of Todd, Ch 1, stanza 37

"Do not try and bend the spoon...that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth." "What truth?" "The truth. There is no spoon." "There is no spoon?" "Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends; it is only yourself." "

-Neo and a little boy from the movie 'The Matrix'.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

-Red, from "Shawshank Redemption"

"Get busy dyeing, or get busy dying"

-The Easter Bunny, having a difficult time with underlings as the deadline approaches, and having finally resorted to threats of violence

God has a plan for all of us....he just hasn't published the OPORDER yet

-The Book of Todd, Ch 1, stanza 72

One can never walk silently with a sock full of change.

-The Book Of Todd, Ch 1, stanza 12

Where does the white in snow come from? But, more importantly, where does it go when the snow melts?

-The Book of Todd, Ch 1, stanza 5