Disclaimer: I created none of the characters in this story. Everything goes to its respective owners, including the Microsoft stuff. I don’t have enough money to sue, so please don’t try.
Ranma 1/2 Z Neo, Chapter nine
(...) thoughts ^ author’s notes *...* actions ~...~ emphasis on word {...} Chinese
China =$==^==$==^==$==^==$==^==$==^==$==^==$==^==$=
*in Cap. Corp., specifically, Ranma’s room*
Ranma: *curled up on end of his bed* meow?
Akane: *scratching Ranma on the head* Don’t worry, Ranma, we’ll get you back to normal soon.
Bulma: The antidote to the drug ought to be working now, if that’s any help.
Akane: Maybe changing back now would work? *grabs a bucket of cool water from hammerspace* *SPLASH*
Ranma-chan: *shakes head, eyes closed* Pleh-- did ya hafta soak me??? Say, what happened? *eyes blink open* Y--y-y-y-yaaa... c-c-c-c-c-c-c-caa--caaaat!!!!!! *starts backing away from a empty spot in the room, everybody else is stupefied*
Akane: Ranma, there’s no cat’s in here...
Ranma-chan: Except that one!!! *points to spot on bed... occupied by air only* Get it ~away~ from me!!!! *hides behind Akane, then stiffens* *wails* W-w-we’re surrounded!!!
Ukyou: Ranchan, there’re no cats here!
Ranma-chan: *sniff sniff* uhhnnn....*struggling to stay human* But... *whimper* they’re everywhere....
Trunks: Ranma, trust me, there ~aren’t~ any cats around.
Ranma-chan: Then what’s that???
Bulma: My guess is that he’s- sorry, she’s- still hallucinating.
Ryouga: That’s obvious. (I can’t stand to see him like this... Who else do I have to spar with? He’s the closest thing I have to a friend!!!)
Ranma-chan: *finally loosing control* mrowwwrr........
Akane: *starts absently stroking Ranma-chan, trying to calm her down* Oh, Ranma. *sighs* So what do we do now?
Bulma: *dryly* I’d suggest trying to find out what’s wrong before tomorrow.
Trunks: ‘Kasaan, we already know that.
Bulma: Then do it.
Trunks: *sighs, then addresses the others* Alright, we gotta find out the problem. Any ideas of what to do?
Ukyou: Well, normally, we’d go visit Cologne.... Then again, the mummy’s probably dead by now....
Akane: Yeah... ~she~ is... but what about.....? *the two exchange glances*
Ryouga: what about what?
Ukyou: You’re right! Great idea!
Ryouga: what???
Akane: If we leave now, maybe we can get there within the hour! -If we fly, that is.
Trunks: Well? ...?
Ryouga: *to Trunks* Do you not get them as much as I don’t?
Trunks: More, probably.
Ukyou: Let’s go, then! *turns to the boys* Ryouga, you carry Ranma. Trunks, see if your mother can do anything using the blood samples.
Trunks/Ryouga: *still confused* Hai. *Ryouga picks up Ranma, who mews*
Ryouga: Don’t get any illusions about this, Ranma. I’m only doing it because I need you in the fight tomorrow. This doesn’t mean we’re friends.
Ranma-chan: Mrow??
Ukyou: Hurry up, Sugar! *flies through window, Akane and Ryouga follow*
Ryouga: (I still don’t know where we’re going...)
*some time later, in a thickly wooded area*
Akane: This should be it...
Ryouga: What?
Ukyou: The Amazon Village, silly.
Ryouga: The Amazons???
Akane: Hopefully, they can help Ranma. *The four descend, Ranma still in Ryouga’s arms, digging her ‘claws’ in due to the height*
Ukyou: *landing* ok, follow me. *they do.*
Ryouga: *15 min. later* Are we there yet?
Ranma-chan: *walking with them on an improvised leash, Ryouga on the other end. The leash, of course, is for Ryouga; Ranma blindly follows Akane, never straying.* Mror-row.
Ukyou: We’re almost there. *at that moment, a familiar-looking spring appears. Ryouga nearly collapses with joy*
Ryouga:(After all this time... I’ll never be a pig again!!!!) *starts running toward springs, miraculously doesn’t get lost on the way* (Finally!!!! FREE!!!!!!) *suddenly, he draws to a halt* (B-b-b-but which one is it????)
Ranma: *being dragged along* Mrow!!!!
Akane: *to Ukyou* Isn’t Ryouga so sweet? They’re such good friends that he’s trying to cure Ranma’s curse!
Ukyou: *sweatdrop* Well, he can’t tell which spring is which, so it’s no use.
Akane: True. Maybe the Amazons will know.
Ukyou: *fetches Ryouga and starts off again, everyone following* It’s just ahead. *A wall is seen. As the group approaches, two girls jump down in front of them from the trees*
Girl one: *holding out spear* What you do near Amazon village? Tell or me spear!!!
Girl two: *also brandishing weapon* Me too! So tell your business!
Ukyou: {Greetings. We seek help from the elders of your tribe for our friend, who is desperately in need. We bear no ill will; we hold no weapons.}
Girl one: {It is good you know our language, that makes it easier. Still, you are outsiders, and the elders would punish us for bringing you in.}
Girl two: {No, Ri Bon. That is the emergency greeting of our ancestors. We ~must~ take them to the village.}
Ri Bon: {Very well. Follow us.} *the two lead the group to the village, where they are admitted. They are led to a room and left, with a guard, for ten minutes*
Akane: So, are we prisoners now?
Ukyou: No, we’re considered guests. The elders are being called on now.
Ryouga: Still, why is there a guard?
Ukyou: That’s an honor. They recognize us as strong warriors, so they’re saying that we could pose a threat. It’s a true compliment.
Ryouga: Huh. Guess the recognize the best when they see me, ne?
Akane/Ukyou/guard at door: *rolls eyes*
Ranma-chan: *washing ‘paw’ in corner of room* mew.
*A warrior enters*
Warrior: *brushing her hair back as she enters* {Follow me. The elders are assembled.} *they follow her to a huge room. In the room there are about twenty old ladies, some very short, but most normal height. The shortest of them all is very familiar...*
Akane: Cologne!!!
Old lady: *starting, then staring at the group* Oh dear.... *voice definitely resembles the mentioned lady, but is also noticeably different.* No, I’m not grandmother... I am Shampoo! But how have you come here?
Akane: Shampoo??? You’ve... changed....
Shampoo: True. But I knew it was going to happen. Genetics and all.
Ukyou: What happened to Mousse?
Shampoo: *coyly* why don’t you ask my ten children?
Akane: *gapes* ten kids??? You were pregnant with your first when we left!!!
Shampoo: Which reminds me,... how did you get here?
Ukyou: Long, long story.
Shampoo: *nods* well, we’d better hear it then. I’m sure everybody here is dying to know what’s happening.
another elder: Yes, do tell.
Ukyou: *switching back to Chinese* {Well, it began like this....}
*twenty minutes later*
Ukyou: {...and the prince kissed the princess, and she awoke. They were married and lived happily ever after. The End.}
elders: *applause*
Shampoo: {Now, how about how you got here?}
Ukyou: *tells about Trunks and his coming back to ask for help*
Shampoo: {Ah, yes, we sense something going on in the city. Is it true that it is nearly deserted now?}
Ukyou: {Yup. There’s almost no one left.}
Ryouga: But that’s not why we’re here right now.
Akane: Oh, yeah. Shampoo, there’s something wrong with Ranma.
Shampoo: *peering over their shoulders at neko-Ranma* Well, he seems normal to me.
Akane/Ukyou/Ryouga: *sweatdrop*
Shampoo: {Besides the neko-ken part, that is. Why don’t you just splash her?}
Ukyou: {We tried. Changing doesn’t make her normal. Well, it does, but only for a few seconds. Then she reverts.}
Shampoo: {Hmmm... We’ll have to see it ourselves.} *someone brings hot water* {ready?} *the group nods* {Alright.} *splash*
Ranma-kun: *sputtering with eyes closed* Hey, what’d ya do that for???
Akane: Are you okay, Ranma?
Ranma: *opening eyes* Yeahhhhhhhhhh........ *eyes widen with fear*
Ukyou: Ranma?
Ranma: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttt!!!!!!!!!!! .... Mrowww.....
Shampoo: {I see what you mean. There’s not a cat here, yet still he sees one.}
Ukyou: {That’s about it. Before, he was drugged, which made him stay cat even when he changed. But now, without the drug, he’s even worse off.}
Shampoo: {Why don’t you return to the hut while we concentrate on figuring this out?} *group returns to hut*
Akane: So, what did you say there?
Ukyou: They’re trying to figure it out.
Ryouga: Shampoo really resembles her great-grandmother, doesn’t she?
Akane: Yeah. Say, Ryouga, when’d you learn Chinese?
Ryouga: *shrugs* don’t know.
*an hour later*
Shampoo: *entering hut* Well, there’s a place that you can find out what’s happened to Ranma. The elders have agreed to allow you the information. Listen carefully. Ready?
Akane: Yeah.
Shampoo: Journey up the mountain to our right. Do not leave the path, for any reason.^ At the top, there is a spring, much like those of Jusenkyo, only it gives the one who submerges instant knowledge to the answer to any one question. Only one may enter, and only that one be able to make it to the top. Elect one member of the group to make the journey.
^Rule of anime: Anybody told not to leave the path, automatically will.
Ryouga: I’ll go. *everybody exchanges looks*
Akane: ummm... Ryouga....
Ukyou: Well, umm, Ryouga-hon, I’m not sure that’s a good idea....
Shampoo: Yes, maybe Ukyou or Akane would prefer to go!
Ryouga: No, I’ll do it. (Ranma, you’ll owe me big for this...) *leaves hut*
Shampoo: *poking head out* No, the other way, Ryouga, the other way!!!!
Ryouga: Oh... *turns around... in a full circle...*
Ukyou: *straightens him the right way* Ryouga, you don’t have to do this, you know... I’d be more than willing...
Ryouga: *walks right past Ukyou* No, Ukyou, my mind’s made up! I’m going to climb the mountain!!! (That pool at the top... I can be cured!!! I’ll know which spring is the right one!)
Ukyou: *desperate, tries to knock Ryouga out with her spatula-- only to miss as Ryouga bends over to pick up 500 yen*
Ryouga: Hey, it’s my lucky day! *pockets money, then starts jogging in the-- miraculously-- right direction*
Ukyou: *whimper whimper* poor Ranchan...
Akane: *sniff* D-d-don’t worry, Ukyou, he ~might~ make it... as long as he stays on the path....
Shampoo: I hate to say this, but Ranma may be doomed...
^Maybe I’ll end here... *readers start advancing menacingly...* Just kidding!!! Just kidding!!! Sheesh...
*time passes, and Ryouga is on the mountain side*
Ryouga: Well, I don’t see what the problem is. I haven’t seen anything unusual yet. *three steps later...* Hey, where’d the path go?
Little gnome-thing: *appearing suddenly* Hey, that makes my job a lot easier, you know? Now I don’t hafta tempt you off.
Ryouga: What?
gnome thing: I’m Nobody Gnome.
Ryouga: Well, if you’re nobody, then get out of way.
gnome thing: *sweatdrop* No, that’s my name.
Ryouga: Alright, No, get out of my way.
gnome thing: *bigger sweatdrop* No, no, no, No isn’t my name!
Ryouga: Yeah, No is you name. No No NO No is too long.
gnome thing: *humongous sweatdrop* ACK! You stupid human, why don’t you get it? It’s not that hard to understand! My name is Nobody, not No.
Ryouga: Alright, Nobody Not No, can I go on now?
gnome thing: *starts drowning in own sweatdrop* blub blub...
Ryouga: Well, that must mean yes. ‘Bye then, Nobody Not No Gnome. *wonders off. Half an hour later, he finds a large cave right in front of him. Walking into it, he finds in the middle a large, furry rug. He sits down on it, planning to take a break to eat something*
Rug: Grrrrrr... *The rug shifts and rumbles. Ryouga falls off, and lands on his rear. Standing back up, he faces a large monster. The creature stands 8 feet tall, and glares down at Ryouga. Its eyes are black steel, and its claws a foot long. A mass of black fur, it growls at the Lost Boy, and bares down on him. Ryouga gulps. Stepping backwards, he trips. The monster raises a giant paw to strike at Ryouga, who dodges to the left as it swipes down. Rolling out of its way, he draws a bandana from hyperspace, and tosses it. It strikes the creature dead on. The creature doesn’t seem to notice... The bandana hasn’t even made a scratch. Ryouga looks around, then decides to take more desperate means as the creature advances*
Ryouga: Ka.... Me....ha....me.....HA!!! *energy bursts from his fingertips, and engulfs the animal*
Creature: Urf? *Ryouga gazes at the animal. With the fur all burned off, he finds himself looking at a small bear with overly big claws. The rather charred bear falls over backwards*
Ryouga: Well, that wasn’t too bad. Guess the problem was that he just needed a haircut. *Walks towards entrance of cave, planning to leave. Unfortunately, the ‘entrance’ happens to be a tunnel leading further into the cave. Within seconds, Ryouga lost beyond even his wildest dreams, in pitch black* Aww, man, what do I do now? Bakusai Tenketsu!
*Ryouga wonders about for a while. Finally, after breaking quite a few walls, he sees sunlight. He follows the stream to a hole in wall, which he peers into. After his eyes adjust, he sees a pool of water, containing a fountain of mermaid. He breaks the wall open.*
Ryouga: What is this place?
Woman: *emerging from behind the fountain* This is the palace of dreams. Drink your fill, traveler; I’m sure you must be thirsty.
Ryouga: *nose starting to bleed at the woman, who is wearing very scanty clothing* uh-huh..... *scoops up some water, and takes a sip*
Woman: *body starts wavering in Ryouga’s vision* Foolish mortal... you drink from the water of strife! You shall perish in that which you face! *Kodachi laugh*
Ryouga: *standing back up* What do you mean by that? *The woman vanishes with the fountain, leaving Ryouga standing alone in the clearing. He looks around, then back at the pool, and shrugs, and drinks some more* I don’t see what’s so special about this water, whatever that was about.
*After drinking his fill, Ryouga breaks a wall. He runs face first into a thing which reminds him of a deformed wart hog*
Thing: You smell good... like food... *evil grin*
Ryouga: Yeah, you too.
Thing: *startled* What do you mean, me too???
Ryouga: Well, you smell like pork. But don’t worry, I don’t ~ever~ eat pork.
Thing: Oh, well, that’s good. You had me worried for a minute there.
Ryouga: Nah, don’t worry about me. I just want to get to the top of the mountain. You don’t know the way, do you?
Thing: *remembering he’s supposed to make sure Ryouga doesn’t get to the top* Why, yes, it’s that way. *points in wrong direction*
Ryouga: Thanks. *heads in the right direction, a totally different direction than the way the Thing was pointing*
Thing: Hey, wait, I said that way!!! ~that~ way!!!! *keeps pointing in wrong direction. Ryouga doesn’t hear him*
*the woman appears where next to the thing*
Woman: You numbskull! You were supposed to stop him!!!
Thing: I-I tried!
Woman: He’s onto me! Why, that- that mortal!!! Erg! *disappears*
*Ryouga continues heading blindly through the caves. He quickly runs into a lighted chamber, with a large bed in it. Sitting on the bed is a young and beautiful woman. She looks at Ryouga entreatingly*
Girl: Why, hello, stranger...
Ryouga: Huh? Oh, hey. Do know which way the top of the mountain is?
Girl: Why do you need the mountain? You can find everything you ever wanted right here...
Ryouga: *completely oblivious* But I have to go to the top of the mountain. Which way is it?
Girl: Oh, come on, why don’t you stay with me for a while?
Ryouga: No thanks. Oh, I know! Uphill! So, I go that way... *walks off*
Girl: Uh-oh... he got away....
Woman: *appearing* Elsan, you were supposed to keep him here!!!
Elsan: But, Marre, he just went through! He didn’t even see me!!!!
Marre: You know what Urshanabi will do to us all if he isn’t stopped!!!
Elsan: Get Borite to tackle him!!!
Marre: Excellent idea, Elsan... *disappears*
Ryouga: *in another cave* Man, why all these caves? *sighs* I’m starting to go blind, and if that happens, Akane will never love me!!! Ranma, this is all your fault!
*Suddenly, Ryouga bumps into something large. He looks around, but can’t see anything. So he concentrates, and a small ball of ki forms, lighting up the passage. He stands face to face with a Minotaur*
Borite: *the minotaur* Well, what do I have here? Looks like dinner to me... BWAHAHAHAHHA!
Ryouga: Hey, would you mind getting out of my way?
Borite: You’ll have to beat me to get me out of your way!
Ryouga: *smirks* Very well. Ka...
Borite: What ~are~ you doing?
Ryouga: me....
Borite: Hey, that’s pretty cool, kid!
Ryouga: ha....
Borite: Are you done yet, though? I kinda want to start fighting now.
Ryouga: me....
Borite: Or is this what ~you~ call fighting? Nice light show and all, but--
Ryouga: HA!!!!!
Borite: eep.... *The minotaur is hit*
Ryouga: Still want to fight? *the very unconscious beast doesn’t move* Ok, then, I guess I win. *suddenly, Marre appears again*
Marre: No, don’t! Please don’t go on with this!!
Ryouga: Why not?
Marre: You’ve beaten us. We admit that. But don’t continue! Don’t doom us as well, please!!!
Ryouga: what are you talking about?
Marre: We really don’t have a choice. We all got stuck here. In order to earn our freedom, we must tempt others off the path and keep them away from the mountain top.
Ryouga: Well, what if you don’t?
Marre: For every failure, one of us must be killed! Oh, please don’t continue!!
Ryouga: Who on earth made up a stupid rule like that??? *a puff of smoke billows from the earth, and a very evil- looking creature stands where the smoke was*
Creature: I am Windows™ System Error! Otherwise known as WSE!
Ryouga: Good for you. So, what’s your problem?
WSE: Everyone that reaches the top of the mountain might just wish for a super-million dollar idea, just like the guy who invented sticky notes, pet rocks, and Microsoft did! If too many people do such things, then the world economy will be ruined!!!
Ryouga: Sure. So, who are you, really???
WSE: Well, I actually used to be a chemist at a local university, but then my expirament blew up in my face. I figured, why not come here and become normal again? But then, I found out those with good hearts can make wishes. Naturally, I decided that if I can’t make a wish, neither can you!
Ryouga: And I thought Ranma was selfish!
WSE: You won’t get to the top. You’ll have to beat me, first!
Ryouga: *yawn* sure. Whatever.
*WSE charges at Ryouga. Ryouga steps out of the way, and WSE hits the wall. Eyes blazing, he charges from behind. Ryouga sticks a fist out. WSE runs into it, and doubles over.*
Ryouga: you done?
WSE: Y-y-you beat me....
Ryouga: What did you expect?
WSE: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! *unable to bear the embarrasment, he runs out of the room.*
Ryouga: Okay, can I continue now?
Marre: You saved us!!!! *hugs him. Ryouga, being Ryouga, suddenly finds himself with a nosebleed*
Ryouga: Uhhhh.....
Marre: Now we can go home!
Ryouga: Just tell me which way to the mountain top.
Marre: Uh, we’re here.
Ryouga: *Looks around. He sees nothing but a barren rock and a spring by the cave enterance* That’s dissapointing. I thought it would be more interesting.
Marre: To make a wish, just jump in the spring.
Ryouga: Right. *walks over to rock and climbs on and prepares to jumps into spring* (Wait a minute... I could wish for anything I wanted right now! I could be... A man again!!!! But wait, what would Akane think??? And we may need Ranma to defeat those guys...) *racked by indecision, Ryouga stands on the rock for hours. A bird lands lands on his shoulder. Then another, then another. Finally, Ryouga makes his wish and steps off the rock, startling the birds off. There is a loud splash, and Ryouga discovers it was a hot water spring, luckily enough* Alright. Now, time to get back. *He walks out of the pool, only to fall into a hole in the ground. He plummets down the slide-like tunnel. Seconds later, he is deposited at the foot of mountain, where everyone but Shampoo and Ranma wait*
Akane: Ryouga! You’re back! You made it!!!
Ryouga: *not meeting Akane’s eyes* Yeah.
Ukyou: You okay, Sugar? *looks Ryouga over* Hmm, from what Shampoo said, I’d think you’d be more hurt...
Amazon girl: *revereantly, to Ryouga* [To make it through the challenges of the mountain, you must be very strong!!!!]
Ryouga: What?
Ukyou: She says you’re strong.
Ryouga: I already know that.
Akane: I guess, for a Super Saiyajin, it really isn’t that hard to make it up the mountain. Things that would kill a regular person apparently didn’t even bug Ryouga.
Ryouga: I didn’t even notice anything unusual.
Ukyou: Let’s go back to the villiage now.
Ryouga: *nervously* Yeah.
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Author’s notes:
Well, I know Ryouga’s little adventure doesn’t seem all that dangerous, but really, he’s a Super Saiyajin. It ~is~ kinda hard to beat one of those. Obviously, things that could kill a person barely affect him. As for what he wished for, well, you’ll just have to wait and see. ;^] So, now that this is finally finished, I’ll just hurry up and post it, and try to get started on the next chapter. Remember, I’m always welcome to comments and advise! Not to mention fanart... But I suppose I understand the lack of it, since even I can’t draw worth beans. I’ll be trying to improve the page over the next couple of months (or years or decades) so don’t be surprised if things change around a bit. Well, gotta go, so ‘Bye for now!
Send all C&C to: Fanime_Lynn@hotmail.com