Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla

***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 9

***
Nerima: Tendo Dojo

Soun Tendo eyed the Go board and rubbed his moustache.
"Hmmm... lets see."

Genma, in his panda form, smiled as smugly as a panda
could and waited for Soun to make a fatal move.

In the dining room, Kasumi looked up from her sewing and
smiled sweetly at the familiar sight. It was nice to see
her father and Mr Saotome playing again. Kasumi nodded in
satisfaction and turned back to her sewing. A grunt and
shuffling steps made her look back up to see Happosai
entering, carrying a box twice his size. With another
grunt the perverted Master set the box down.

"Oh my." said Kasumi. "What have you there, Grandfather
Happosai?"

"Just a few bits and pieces that need sorting out,
Kasumi-chan." Happosai began to spread assorted junk over
the floor.

Kasumi cut a thread. "Not going to work today, then?" she
asked absently.

Happosai looked mournful. "Without Ranma or Sweet Akane
here my work holds no joy for me."

Kasumi threaded another needle. "Oh dear."

Happosai looked up at the eldest Tendo daughter. "You
wouldn't know _where_ they are, Kasumi-chan?"

Kasumi smiled very sweetly. "Oh my, no. It's a mystery
tour, I have no idea where they are."

***
Downtown Nerima

Hiroshi and Daisuke strolled down the street looking for
a good place to eat.

"How about the Nekohanten?" Hiroshi suggested.

Daisuke was reluctant. "It's not the same without Shampoo
waitressing. I don't want to be served by the old ghoul."

"You have a point." agreed Hiroshi.

They passed Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, it was dark and closed
up. Hiroshi looked at it wistfully.

"When do you think the Tour will be finished?" he asked.

Daisuke shrugged. "Well, considering that lost guy, Hibiki,
is driving I'd say they're in Siberia by now."

"You're probably right." said Hiroshi. "I wish they'd get
back soon though. Who would've thought I'd actually miss
property getting destroyed by crazy martial artists?"

***
A Mental Hospital near Tokyo.

Saisuke looked auxiously at his master as Tatewaki Kuno
was shown out of the clinc.

"Any change, Master Kuno?" he asked.

"None whatsoever." said Kuno. "She remains as unstable as
before."

They walked down the drive to the waiting limo. The faithful
ninja entered the limo and sat beside Kuno. He had not
expected any change in Kodachi Kuno's condition, and
secretly he was relieved. Life had been so much better
since Kodachi was placed into care. She had started to get
worse after Ranma and Akane's failed wedding four years ago
and had gone completely overboard after the revelation that
the pig-tailed girl and Ranma Saotome were the same person.
Kuno had been lucky not to share the same fate, but by then
he was going out with Nabiki Tendo and she had explained
the whole thing to him in a gentle way using diagrams and
small words. Satsuke hid a smile, the Kuno family fortunes
had increased dramatically since his master had married
Nabiki and things were a lot brighter. Even Kuno himself
had matured considerably, although he continued to mangle
poetry and he was certainly not the brightest man around.
However Nabiki was convinced that Kuno would be the best
man to take the job of principal of Furinkan High, as soon
as she could pry the Hawaiian loving nutcase out. With a
crowbar, if necessary.

Satsuke sighed, he hoped Mistress Nabiki would return soon
and continue to look after things in her capable manner.

***
Masaki Shrine:

Princess Sasami of the Royal House of Jurai came down the
stairs, a tray of partially eaten food in her hands.

"She's still not eating well." she told the young man
seated on the couch.

Tenchi Masaki sighed. "I've never seen Mihoshi so upset.
She can't stay in her room until Kiyone returns though."

Ryoko, perched on one of the beams up above, snorted.
"I don't blame Kiyone for running off. I would if Mihoshi
was my partner."

Tenchi turned to the small pink-haired figure perched on
the edge of the couch. She smirked at him.

"Before you ask Tenchi, I have extrapolated Kiyone's
position and I have a fix on her."

"WHAT!!??" Mihoshi suddenly burst out of her room and
hurtled down the stairs. "Oh tell me Washu! Please please!!
I have to be with Kiyoneeeee!!!"

Washu frowned, then reached behind her and pulled out a
glass filled with red liquid. "Of course I'll tell you,
Mihoshi." she said with a sly smile. "Just drink this first."

"Okay!" Mihoshi swallowed the liquid and then she keeled
over in a deep sleep.

"Washu!" cried Tenchi running over to Mihoshi. "What did you
do that for?"

Washu shrugged. "Don't worry, she'll just sleep for a week
or so, I just think Kiyone deserves a break." Washu got up
and headed for her lab. "Besides I owe her one."

***
Tokyo: Nippori

Shun Kisaragi bounced up the steps of Suka's apartment
and rapped on the door.

"Come in."

Shun entered and stared at the sight of Mitsuru lounging
on the couch, surrounded by junk.

"Ohayo, sempai."

"Ohayo, Shun." Mitsuru threw some of the junk of the
couch and sat up. "Have a seat."

"Arigato." Shun sat down and now saw Shinobu sitting
on the windowseat. "It looks like you're having fun."
he said. "Ummm... won't Suka be mad at you for using
all his stuff?"

Shinobu merely smiled, Mitsuru laughed. "We told Suka
we'd look after the place, and we are! It looks lived
in, right?"

"Oh, definately."

Shinobu raised an eyebrow at Shun's tone, but then he went
back to his contemplation of the street.

"What's on your mind?" Mitsuru asked.

"Old classmates." Shinobu smiled lazily. "Do you recall a
former resident of Greenwood who had a fondness for
okonomiyaki and kitchen utensils?"

Shun clapped his hands. "Oh you're talking about Kuonji!"

***
Maison Ikkoku

"Is that a postcard from Godai?" Mrs Ichinose asked.

Kyoko frowned, was she never to get any privacy? "Yes it
is." she answered. "He's having a great time."

"Has he met any pretty girls?"

Kyoko glared at her tenant and pocketed the postcard.
"I have to the washing to do." she said stiffly and
walked away.

***
Hong Kong

In Hong Kong's most prestigious movie theatre a bunch of
socialites gathered around Hong Kong's newest Kung-fu
movie star. The praise was lavish as the socialites assured
the young man that he was well on the way to becoming Hong
Kong's newest and brightest star.

The young man smiled slightly and made his apologies,
shunning the cameras. He wandered into a darkened, deserted
room and looked out of the window at the city lights. The
praise was good, but it seem hollow. Movie making had just
happened, it wasn't his dream. He patted a pocket in which
a small, battered phot rested and sighed. Of course, some
dreams were impossible to obtain.

***
China: Shaoxing

"<You're sure?>" Shampoo leaned on the shop counter.
"<You didn't see these people?>"

The store owner nodded. "<I saw no one ressembling the
people you described.>" she said.

"<Maybe they just didn't come in here.>" said Shampoo.

"<Not come in here?>" the woman shook her head. "<This
is the only general store near the camping grounds. If
your friends are travellers like you said, they would've
come here.>"

Shampoo frowned. "Xiexie." She left the store.

Outside Shampoo stood with crossed arms, her mind in
complete confusion. This had started off very straight
forward: Meet up with the bus, kill Spatula Girl and
Akane Tendo, pulverise Hibiki and anyone else who got
in her way, and then claim Ranma as her rightful husband.
But none of this could be achieved when Shampoo couldn't
even _find_ the stupid bus. She had left Fuzhou to come
to another town on Ukyou's itinerary in hopes of finding
the wayward travellers, but no luck.

Shampoo fished out the itinerary and glared at it. A nasty,
paranoid suspicion occurred to her. What if Ukyou had
anticipated Shampoo? What if she had _planted_ this paper
expecting Shampoo to find it and all the details were
wrong? What if the Tour was somewhere in Outer Mongolia?

"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"

***
China: Guangdong province

"Okay, people!" Ukyou called for attention. "In a few hours
we will be entering Hong Kong. Hibiki Tours would like to
thank you for bearing with us during the unexpected route
change and for some of the problems with accommodation
conditions."

Godai shuddered at her words. He knew the memory of the
bathrooms at Xiamen camping grounds would be haunting him
for a while.

"But isn't that the point anyway?" said Miya brightly.
"After all, we signed on for this as a _mystery_ tour,
so changes in route aren't that big a deal."

Kiyone nodded. "Right." She smiled at Ukyou. "So far, I've
been having a great time." *Apart from the constant meals
of okonomiyaki.* she added silently.

Ukyou looked relieved. "Thank you everyone." she sat down.

"See?" said Ryoga. "I _told_ you they'd be okay with it."

"Yeah, yeah." Ukyou made a dismissive gesture. "But it's
_professional_ to make sure that your customers are happy."

"Hn." Ryoga thought for a moment. "I wonder if Hong Kong
has changed much. I haven't been there since the changeover,
biggest party I've ever seen." *And the wildest,* he
thought, *I still don't know where that last five hours
went or where the policemans hat came from*.

"Well, when I called and checked apparently not much has
changed." Ukyou pulled out a slim notebook and consulted
it. "The currency hasn't changed, but some of the parks
and things like that have had their British names changed
to more appropriate Chinese ones."

"Not surprising." Ryoga observed.

"Hong Kong has some good shopping doesn't it?"

"I don't know." Ryoga confessed. "I wasn't looking to
make purchases on my previous visits." he grinned. Do
you need some stuff, Ucchan?"

"Hmmm? No, not really." Ukyou sighed. "Although I'm sure
Nabiki will want to be let loose."

"Speaking of money," Ryoga lowered his voice. "How's our
money situation?"

Ukyou rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Not great." she
murmered. "We've had to pay out for some things that we
didn't anticipate."

"Like the karaoke machine."

"Oh, shut up." Ukyou blushed.

"Seriously, though, we can use the money I got at the
Takanawa Hotel if we need to."

Ukyou bit her lip. "Arigato, but it shouldn't come to
that."

"I wonder what they're talking about." said Ranma.

Akane rolled her eyes. "You should have landed in the
Spring of Drowned Fly, then you could be 'a fly on the wall'
and satisfy your rampant curiousity." she snorted.
"Sometimes you act more like a girl than a guy."

Ranma glared at her. "Hey! I was just making some idle
comment and you twist it all around! You are soooo... "

"Uncute?!" Akane flashed at him. "Think of a more original
insult for once!"

Konatsu eyed the engaged pair, he rose, avoiding Mikado and
approached Ukyou.

"Ukyou-sama!" he whispered urgently.

"What?" Ukyou turned.

"Akane-san and Ranma-san are fighting."

"Oh great." Ukyou sighed. "Ryoga, stop the bus."

"Is he hurting her?" Ryoga began to glow.

"No! But stop the bus, it's time for lunch!"

Ryoga pulled off the road onto a grassy field. Ukyou stood
up and turned on the microphone. "*Achem* We are now
taking a one hour stop for lunch."

Ranma and Akane barely acknowledged this, they were
glaring at each other in a way that promised imminent
destruction to those around them. Those who _were_ around
them quickly exited the bus. Ukyou glanced nervously at
Ryoga who was regarding Ranma in a very unpleasant way.
*Maybe I ought to try and difuse this potential explosion.*
she thought *I'm not about to see this bus and therefore
my _restaurant_ go up in smoke,*

"Sometimes you are _so_ small-minded!" Ranma was saying as
Ukyou approached. "You overreact to _everything_!"

"ME?!!" Akane gasped. "You baka!"

"Ha! And you say _my_ insults aren't original!"

"Ummm... Akane-chan? Ranchan? I don't think this is the
time or place... " Ukyou leaned towards them.

Ranma looked up at her. "Ucchan! Ya gotta back me up here,
Akane's getting all worked up over nothin!"

Akane was furious. "You... you... "

"Akane-chan," Ukyou smiled a winning smile. "Perhaps he's
right, perhaps you... "

Akane's anger switched to Ukyou. "You!" she cried. "Oh, of
_course_ you're going to support your darling Ranchan! You
always do, even when he's wrong!"

Ukyou blinked. "Akane, I... "

Akane's eyes narrowed. "You know, sometimes I get the
feeling that you haven't really stopped chasing Ranma."

Ukyou mentally sweatdropped, behind her Ryoga stiffened and
Ranma gaped at Akane.

"Akane!"

Ukyou took a deep breath. "That is a loud of crap." she said
flatly. "I think your imagination is running overtime."

"So both you AND Ranma think I'm delusional now!"

"I think that you're just looking for an argument!" snapped
Ukyou, her own temper rising. "And Ranma is such a _nice_
target for you! But don't pick a fight with me Akane,
'cause I won't hold back." she smirked. "And I'm better at
martial arts than _you_!"

Ranma winced. Ukyou had been on the right track to defuse
Akane's temper, until that last line. He eased out of the
seat and went to stand out of the line of fire. Meanwhile,
Ryoga stood rooted to the floor, trying to figure out what
to do.

Akane lept to her feet. "Don't you DARE question my ability!"
she yelled. "You okonomiyaki tramp!"

"Oh sh*t" Ranma groaned. Ryoga winced.

Flames appeared in Ukyou's eyes. "_What_ did you call me?!"

Akane realised she'd gone too far, but the momentum was
pulling her forward. Before she could stop herself Akane
could here herself saying: "Yeah, well, everybody's sooo
sick of your okonomiyaki, did you know that? We've all got
food stashes so we don't have to eat your slop!"

Akane and Ukyou glared at each other, the lightning
flashing between their eyes.

"Take that _back_!" Ukyou snarled.

"Give me one _good_ reason!" Akane demanded.

*oh great* Ryoga dithered *what am I going to _do_?* "Um...
you two... uh."

"Shut up, Ryoga-honey. This is between me and HER."

Akane's hands were hard fists. "Ukyou Kuonji, I really want
to hurt you right now!"

Ukyou sneered. "Go ahead and try, _sugar_."

*Damn!* Ryoga stepped forward but a hand on his arm
restrained him, he turned to see Ranma shaking his head.
"Leave it alone, man. No guy can win in a bitch fight."

Akane and Ukyou twitched and turned their angry glares on
Ranma. "WHAT did you say?"

Ryoga looked at them and at Ranma who'd gone pale, he
released himself from Ranma's grip and edged away.
"Now is a _good_ time to be lost."

Ryoga bolted from the bus as Akane and Ukyou leapt on
Ranma and began applying the mallet and spatula method
of retribution.

"What's going on?" asked Mikado as Ryoga approached the
others who were all seated on a blanket.

"Oh, Ranma put both feet in his mouth, as usual." said
Ryoga. "Akane and Ukyou are using aversion therapy to try
and cure him. Not that it will work."

A few minutes later the bus doors opened and Ukyou and
Akane came out.

"Gomen, Ukyou." Akane was saying. "I didn't mean to say all
those things, I just... well... I guess I lost my temper."

"You _guess_?" Ukyou giggled. "Oh, Akane-chan!"

Akane blushed slightly. "Yes, well." she paused. "I'm also
sorry for accusing you of chasing Ranma. I know you
wouldn't do that anymore."

Ukyou smiled shakily. "Hai... of course not." she cleared
her throat. "Well, I might... uh... go make lunch." She
looked at Ryoga. "Um... Ryoga, can I talk to you?"

He blinked. "Sure."

As they walked back to the bus, a very battered Ranma
weaved out of the doors and collapsed on the ground. Ukyou
gave him a concerned glance. "Are you alright, Ranchan?"

"s'okay." Ranma mumbled. "used to it."

Ryoga grinned at him. "Heh. That'll teach you to watch
your mouth Ranma."

Ukyou thumped his arm. "Shut up you."

They went into the kitchen. Ryoga leaned against the
counter. "What is it?"

Ukyou took a deep breath, fidgeted for a second and then
looked into his eyes. "Is everyone really sick of eating
okonomiyaki?" she asked.

Ryoga tensed, his gaze slid away from hers. "W-why do
you ask?" *I'm not going to tell her the truth! I like to
_live_.*

Ukyou walked over to him and grabbed his head, forcing him
to look at her. "Please tell me the truth, Ryoga!"

He couldn't look away. "Uhh... well, we have been eating it
alot lately. Ummm... it would probably be nice to have a
change... " his breath caught as tears appeared in her eyes.
*Oh no. I can't take tears, hitting yes, tears no.*

Ukyou let go of his head and wiped her eyes. "Thanks for
telling me the truth, Ryoga." She fiddled with one of her
small spatulas. "So, what should I make?" she mused, half to
him and half to herself. She reached for a cookbook.

Ryoga came up behind her and placed his hand on hers. "I've
got a better idea." he said.

Ukyou looked down at the large hand covering her small one
and her heart did a perculiar leap. "Y-yes?" she said.

"Let me cook." said Ryoga. "You deserve a break."

*Heartbeat* Silence.

"You can COOK??!!!"

***

"Wow that lunch was great!" said Godai as the bus sped
along the highway.

"Mmmm!" agreed Miya. "I've never tasted sukiyaki like that
before."

"Who would have guess that lost boy could boil an egg, let
alone make a full course lunch." said Nabiki.

Akane smiled. "Of course Ryoga can cook!" she said. "He does
wander about alot, he'd have to cook for himself or he'd
starve!"

Ranma sulked. There was nothing he could say really. The food
had been really good, but he wasn't about to give P-chan the
satisfaction of knowing _that_.

"This did make a nice change from okonomiyaki." Kiyone said.

"I _like_ okonomiyaki." said Ranma.

They all stared at him.

"Even for breakfast, lunch AND dinner?" asked Mikado.

"Yes." said Ranma stubbornly. "In fact... " He got up and
made his way over to Ukyou who was in her usual seat beside
Ryoga.

"Hey, Ucchan."

"What is it, Ranchan?"

Ranma smiled a winning smile that made Ukyou's heart flutter.
"Could you do something for me?" he asked.

Ukyou nodded. "Sure."

"Make me okonomiyaki, even if you're not making it for the
others."

Ukyou put one hand on her heart. "Oh... Ranchan. Yes! Yes,
I will!"

"I'd like that." Ranma squeezed her shoulder and went back
to his seat.

Ukyou sat back, stars, hearts and flowers crowding in her
big eyes. "Oooooh... "

Ryoga shot her a sour sidelong glance. *Stupid Ranma.* he
thought, *He just can't say anything _good_ about what I
do! Not that it bothers me, I just wish... wish he'd stop
making up to... to... HER.*

"Left, Ryoga."

"Hn?"

*Clang!*

"Owwww... " Ryoga made a left turn.

"Pay attention!" Ukyou put her spatula away. "Keep going
straight, no, I'll rephrase that, follow the _road_ ."
she sighed and went back to a Ranma-filled daydream.

Ryoga grunted and concentrated on the road ahead, the
distant skyscrapers of Hong Kong came closer and closer.

***
To be continued. 

 

Chapter 10

Index