Ranma 1/2: The Magical Mystery Hibiki Tour

by Jaelle and Orla
***

The characters in this story are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi-sama. We prostrate ourselves at her feet and beg her
forgiveness for our temerity in using these characters. We're
not worthy! We're not worthy!

The other characters are copyright to Yukie Nasu and Pioneer
LDC.

Hikaru Kazeten belongs to us. Wherever he is.

C & C is welcome (although we don't like flames!). You can
contact us at either: ladyorla@yahoo.com or jaelle@ihug.co.nz

For more of our fanfiction visit our site 'Insane Musings'at:
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~jaelle/Jaelle_Orla.htm

***

This story occurs four years after Ranma 1/2 volume 38.

***

Part 25

***

Ukyou leaned her head on Ryoga's shoulder. "You need a
tuxedo."

"I'll hire one."

"You can _buy_ one now."

"What would I do with it after the wedding?"

"Wear it to Ranma and Akane's wedding. You are the best man,
remember?"

"Oh yeah. He's not going to be very happy about this."

Ukyou lifted her head. "Whatever do you mean?"

Ryoga grinned. "Let's just say we have this competition
thing going and I'm winning so far."

"WHAT??!!!"

Ryoga held up his hands. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

Ukyou humphed and then settled back down. "Okay, I need a
dress."

"The silver one would be nice." Ryoga said absently.

"Baka!" Ukyou glared at him. "I'm not wearing _that_ as
my wedding dress! I want a proper dress with satin and
lace and stuff."

"Okay, get a dress then." Ryoga gave up arguing.

"We should invite all of our closest friends!"

"But... they're already here!"

"Oh yeah. What shall we do about invitations?"

Ryoga rolled his eyes and leaned out into the corridor.

"HEY EVERYONE!" he bellowed. "UKYOU AND I ARE GETTING
MARRIED IN YOKOHAMA."

"Kay," chorused back several people. Followed by, "What
did he just say???"

"Man, I don't believe this - Ryoga's getting to do
EVERYTHING before me!"

"Shut up Ranma."

***
Yokohama:

It was a perfect wedding. It was so perfect in fact that
we're not going to write much about it since, in a freak
occurence - absolutely nothing went wrong. Well, except
for a brief hiatus when Ryoga went the wrong way down
the aisle.

The bride wore white, (although some people debated she
should)and she was quite radiant with joy.

The groom wore a tuxedo and looked like the happiest man
alive. Which he probably was at that point in time.

The guests behaved themselves, Akane was too busy crying
to argue with Ranma who was best man, and Mousse was just
happy to not be recognised. Konatsu got to be the bridesmaid,
whilst Nabiki was the maid of honour, and Mikado was tied
up with tape and dumped in a closet - though they let him
out for the reception.

Suka and Miya spent the entire time looking into each
others eyes and making everyone else nauseous. They only
awoke to catch the bouquet and garter respectively.

Kiyone sniffled through the entire thing, but this could
be due to the slight cold she'd caught.

Godai spent most of the ceremony imagining himself and
Kyoko in place of Ryoga and Ukyou but this was normal for
him.

Shampoo just sat quietly up the back, and watched Mousse.

And then it was all over... and time to go home.

***

"Bye Shampoo! I hope you never came back!" Ukyou carolled,
waving from the dock as the ship began to sail away.

"Ukyou!" said Ryoga in shock.

"She's only saying what we're all thinking," said Ranma.
"I wouldn't mind seeing Mousse again, but Shampoo I can
happily live without."

"Take care you guys!" Mousse yelled. "I'll send you tickets
to my next movie!"

"Shampoo see you sometime soon!" Shampoo yelled from the
boat.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!"

"Ah, she wasn't _that_ bad," said Godai.

"Actually, she was kind of cute," said Mikado. Everyone
thumped him and then boarded the train.

***

Godai got off at his train station. "Bye guys, it's been...
different. Keep in touch Suka, Ryoga, Ranma! I need some
good news!"

"I hope everything works out for you with whatshername," said
Ukyou.

"Kyoko." said everyone else.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget?"

"Bye! Keep safe! Stay away from the water!" various people
shouted.

Godai waved as the train began to move, and turned to see the
gang from Maison Ikkoku coming to greet him. Kyoko out in
front. He grinned and began to walk towards them when Kiyone,
Nabiki, Ukyou, Miya, Konatsu, Akane and Ranma-chan leaned
out the windows and shouted, "BYE GODAI-CHAN!" in sultry
voices. Godai sweatdropped.

***

"You guys don't have to take me _up_ to the shrine you
know," said Kiyone.

"But we really want to meet these people," said Ranma. "They
sound almost as weird as us."

"Can anyone else hear a high, shrieking, annoying sound?"
asked Mikado.

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

"My life is over!" tears poured down Kiyone's face as a
blonde bombshell latched on to her legs.

"OH KIYONE I WAS SO SAAAAD WITHOUT YOU DON'T LEEEEAVE ME
KIYONE! KIYONE! KIYONE!" Mihoshi babbled.

"..."

***

"We're almost home!" yelled Suka, "And a day earlier too!
This is our apartment, would you all like to come in for..."

He opened the door on an unimaginable chaos. Mitsuru looked
up from the bean-bag. "Oops. Hi, you're back early."

Suka looked at the disaster area that was once his home. His
face contorted.

"I told you he'd be mad!" Shun yelled, backing away. "
Suka-chan... think of your blood pressure... Suka-chan!"

Miya grabbed Suka's arm. "Breathe," she instructed him. "At
least it's still standing."

Shinobu walked out of the kitchen. "Oh hello Shun, visiting
again? Suka! Miya! You're back early. Oh, hello Kuonji."

"Ack!" was Ukyou's coherent response.

Ryoga looked at her curiously. "How does he know you?"

"I... ah... I..."

While this was going on, Konatsu and Shun circled each other.
Finally, they stopped, and pointed, "Are you...?"

"Oh hey Kuonji, didn't see you there," said Mitsuru. "Well,
looks like you finally sorted your gender issue out."

"I never had a gender issue!" Ukyou retorted.

"Well, you have to admit it was a bit odd you being a girl
at our boys school, and staying in an all boys dorm."

"You WHAT???!!!"

"Calm down Ryoga, I can explain."

"Who's this?" asked Shinobu.

"My, ah, husband."

"Oh congratulations. Don't worry, nothing happened. We all
kept an eye out and gave her privacy."

"You mean you KNEW???!!!" Ukyou was shocked.

"Well, I have to admit you had us all fooled for the first
two days."

"TWO DAYS???!!! I was there for SIX MONTHS!!!!"

"And what fun months they were too," grinned Shinobu.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

***

"And don't you ever darken my doorstep again!" Ryoga roared.

"Now Ryoga, Mikado's been a loyal employee." said Ukyou, she
rubbed her hand.

"HE KISSED YOU!!!!"

"Only on the hand! Only on the hand! It's alright, he's
sorry!"

"Very very sorry," mumbled Mikado, sporting a lovely black
eye.

As they left Konatsu stopped and turned. "Bye bye Mikado
honey!" he said in a cutesy voice.

*Thud*

***

"Nabiki!"

"Kuno my husband!"

"Nabiki my wife! Come to my arms!"

Nabiki ran towards Kuno. "My husband!" she cried.

"My wife!"

Everyone stared in shock and horror. "What the HELL???!"
demanded Akane.

"Oh hello Miss Akane," said Sasuke. "Don't worry, it's a
ritual which Mistress Nabiki must perform. It makes Master
Kuno very happy."

"Okay, but it's still freaking me out. Can we leave now?"
said Ranma.

Ukyou tapped Ryoga on the shoulder. "Don't let this give
you ANY ideas! I am not greeting you like this no matter
HOW long you've been away."

"Yes dear."

"AND STOP DOING THAT!!!!"

Ryoga grinned. "Of course dear."

*CLANG*

"What a beautiful relationship," said Sasuke.

***

"We're hooome!" Akane yelled as she walked through the
front gates.

"AKANNEEE! MY LITTLE GIRL!" Soun Tendo ran out and
threw himself at Akane. "You're safe!"

Akane sweatdropped. "I was on a TOUR dad, it was all..." she
thought about it. "Mostly completely safe. Shall we go
inside before we get the details out."

Ukyou looked back at the gate. "Maybe we should..."

"No no Ucchan, come inside, have some tea, take a load off."

"Please," wheezed Ryoga from underneath their bags. Konatsu
nodded beside him, too tired to speak.

"Well," said Ukyou, swapping her bag from one hand to the
other. "Okay."

They went into the house, Soun crying all the way. As they
went there was a rather muted argument between Ukyou and
Ryoga.

"Why do _I_ have to carry almost everything?"

"But you're so _strong_ honey."

"..."

***

Inside the main room they were all seated. "Kasumi! My baby's
home!"

"Welcome home!" Kasumi came out of the kitchen, followed by
Dr Tofu and carrying the twins. "How was the trip?"

"Oh it was great! We had a lot of fun, wound up taking
an unexpected trip to Burma..." Akane went for it. "Blew
up a couple of major buildings, almost got arrested as
international terrorists, fought Ryoga's arch-nemesis,
oh and Ryoga and Ukyou got married."

"Oh my," said Kasumi. "How nice for you!"

Akane pounded her fist against the floor in frustration.
"One day! One day I'm going to make her say something else!"

Kasumi just smiled.

***

Later that night Ryoga and Ukyou staggered inside the front
door of Ucchans. Konatsu had decided to accept Kasumi's offer
of a bed at the dojo for the next week while he "sorted a
couple of things out".

Ryoga dumped his load on the floor.

"Home sweet home!" said Ukyou. "I'm so happy to be back!
Boy we've got a lot of work to do if we're going to be open
first thing tomorrow!"

"What??!!!" Ryoga cried. "You're joking."

"Hey, we've got to earn a living," said Ukyou.

"We don't have to earn a living! I have lots of money!"

"And what are you going to do when it all runs out? You
don't have _that_ much money." Ukyou reminded him.

"Errr..."

"Didn't think of that, did you?" she inquired sweetly.
Ryoga sighed. "Can't we have a holiday?" he asked
plaintively.

"We've just BEEN on holiday!"

"I mean a PROPER holiday - you and me... spending a holiday
as husband and wife... you know - a honeymoon!"

"Oh," said Ukyou. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Think of it," said Ryoga. "Quiet, peace, just you and me...
and we don't have to get up all day."

"Hmmm..." said Ukyou. "That does sound kind of nice. And it
would be good to get away while all of the renovations are
going on."

"What renovations?"

"Well, this restaurant has now got to accomodate two
married people... and possibly extra." she said shyly.

"Oh yeah," said Ryoga. "Yeah." He smiled at her.

They kissed.

***

Six Months Later:

"Honey, I'm home!!!!" Ryoga entered the back door and shook
the snow off his umbrella. He made his way to the restaurant
kitchen.

"Ryo-chan!" Ukyou turned and ran over to him. They hugged and
the restaurant patrons smiled at this demostration of
affection.

Ukyou pulled back. "Wow, it's only been three days!" she
said. "I thought you'd be gone a week at least!"

Ryoga smiled. "I guess, I got lucky."

"Someone showed you the way, huh?"

He sweatdropped. "Heh heh... yes."

Ukyou turned and waved over Konatsu who was waiting tables.
The cute ninja bounced over. "Hi Ryoga-sama!" he said.

"Hi Konatsu, did you get the new table for your apartment?"

Konatsu beamed. "Hai! And the heating is _much_ better now."

"Konatsu, can you take over at the grill for a while?" Ukyou
asked. "Leave the tables to Lina, the crowd has died down a
bit so she should be able to handle it."

"Hai, itsujo!"

Ryoga and Ukyou made their way upstairs to the main room.
Ryoga settled himself down and sighed. "It's good to be
home." he said.

Ukyou poured him some tea and sat down opposite him. "A
letter arrived for you." she said handing him a slim envelope.

Ryoga took it. "Odd... hey! It's from my _mother_!" he quickly
pursued the contents. "Well, she and Dad finally made it
home - together - and read the note I left explaining that
we'd gotten married and I was taking Checkers and her puppies
with me."

"That's good." said Ukyou who was stroking one of the afore
mentioned puppies. "How did they take the news?"

"Well, they're very happy and they think you look like a
very pretty and responsible woman." Ryoga grinned at her.
"I told you that was a good photo."

Ukyou frowned slightly. "I never said it was _bad_, just that
there were better ones."

"Anyway," Ryoga continued. "They plan to come and see us
soon, that will mean we'll see them in about a year."

"Well it would be nice to _finally_ meet them." Ukyou
commented, she looked through the other letters on the table.
"Hey!" she cried. "We've got a postcard from _Mousse_!"

Ryoga looked up from his letter. "Well, _finally_." he said.
"He hasn't written to us since Ranma and Akane's wedding."

Ukyou read the back of the postcard and her jaw dropped.
"Oh my." she said.

"What?"

"He and Shampoo got married in secret two days ago!"

Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "Well, well." he said. "Why in
secret?"

"To stop his fans from suiciding he says." Ukyou shook her
head. "_I_ think they're both afraid of how Cologne is
going to react."

"Well, she wasn't very happy about Shampoo staying with him."

Ukyou put the postcard down and placed her chin on her
inerlaced fingers. "Damn, I wish I'd read this before I saw
Akane-chan at Dr Tofu's clinic." she commented.

Ryoga smiled. "How is she doing?"

"Oh, okay. She says that being pregnant isn't much fun
though." said Ukyou with a small sigh. "All the nausea and
stuff."

"Oh." said Ryoga, then he frowned. "What were _you_ doing
at the clinic?"

Ukyou straightened. "Ah... Ryo-chan, I have something
important to tell you. And I'm _not_ making it up this time."

***

Epilogue:

"Ryoga!"

Ryoga turned. Ranma stood in the doorway. "The hospital
called me and told me Ukyou was in labour, how're you holding
up?"

"I'mjustfine..." said Ryoga. "Excepttheythrewmeoutofthe
operatingroomsoIdon'tknowwhat'sgoingon.... AAAAAAGH!!!"

Ryoga was almost vibrating with nervous energy. Ranma eyed
his friend nervously.

"Hey, chill man," he said. "Remember, I went through this a
couple of months ago when _my_ son was born. It'll be okay.
Ukyou's strong... she's tough, she knows what to do, she's
a martial artist and used to pain, she's... got good hips."
he ended lamely.

"WHYISITTAKINGSOLOOOOONNNGGGG!!!" Ryoga howled. In anguish
he began to beat his head against a pillar. Ranma looked at
the rest of the broken pillars and made a quick mental
calculation about the structural integrity of the hospital.

"Why don't we take a walk?" he suggested. "Let me tell you
about my son."

Ranma walked Ryoga round and round the hospital till they
were beginning to wear a groove in the ground and regaled
him with stories about his two-month old son Sorata. His
every move was a source of great amazement to his parents.

"... and then he stuck his foot in his mouth and sucked
his little toes!" said Ranma.

"I see he's already following the family tradition," said
Ryoga, who was beginning to come back to himself.

"Hey!" Ranma glared and his battle aura flared. "I'll have
you know Hibiki, that MY son can beat YOUR son any day of
the week!"

"HA!" said Ryoga. "MY son's gonna beat the tar out of YOUR
son!"

"Oh yeah?"

"YEAH!"

"Uh, Mr Hibiki?"

"WHAT?!" Ryoga turned on the startled nurse. "Your wife has
finished giving birth... congratulations! You're a father!"

Ryoga stopped. An expression of divine bliss spread across
his face. "I'm... I'm a FATHER!!!" Tears poured down his
face. "Oh happy day!"

"Congratulations man," said Ranma. "Now, about that fight..."

"Is baby okay? What about Ukyou?" Ryoga demanded.

The nurse patted his arm. "Your wife is fine, and the baby
is too. A beautiful, strong, healthy..."

Ryoga's smile spread over his entire face.

"Baby girl."

There was a pause.

"A girl?" asked Ranma.

"That's right, she's the cutest thing you ever saw!" said the
nurse. "They're in room 68." She left the duo.

"Whoa," said Ranma. "Didn't see that one coming. Oh well,
guess the battle's off Ryoga. Ryoga?"

"A daughter! I have a sweet beautiful DAUGHTER!!!" Ryoga
gushed. "I'm so happy!"

"That's nice." said Ranma. "Now stop crying on my shirt."

"I have a daughter!"

"I know! And I'm sure she's a very NICE daughter." said
Ranma. Then a stray thought crossed his mind and he laughed.

"What?"

"I just had a silly thought," said Ranma. "Since you had a
girl and I had a boy, maybe we should engage them! URK!!!"

The front of his shirt was grabbed and Ranma was jerked
off his feet. Ryoga glared at him, battle aura incandescent.

"That's... NOT... funny!"

The End.

Or is it? Nyahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Index