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Premiere Magazine December 1995 You Have No Idea What It’s Like Out There. Martin
Short and Bonnie Hunt compare notes on big families, Though they have much in common -- Second City training, impeccable sketch-comedy chops, memorable talk-show appearances, moments of big-screen hilarity -- Bonnie Hunt and Martin Short had never gotten acquainted until they recently convened one evening at the retro malt shop Cafe 50's in West L.A. The Chicago-bred Hunt, who shone as a tour guide in Dave, and as Charles Grodin's wife in the Beethoven films, was still in makeup from a taping of The Bonnie Hunt Show on CBS, on which Short's brother Michael serves as a writer; Short, everyone's favourite Canadian for his days at SCTV and Saturday Night Live, and his roles in a host of movies, had just hopped offstage at the Geffen Playhouse, where he was in previews for the Lawrence Kasdan-directed play, Four Dogs and a Bone. Generally acknowledged as two of the most gifted comic actors in Hollywood, Hunt and Short each have a holiday film on the way: Hunt stars alongside Robin Williams in the comedy-fantasy Jumanji, while Short reprises his role as the hyperkinetic Franck in Father of the Bride 2. They slid into a booth together, each ordered a beer, and proceeded to hit it off well enough that before long, plans were hatched for Short to guest-star on Hunt's show. I took that as a good sign.
Short: Do you love this place? Is this your place? Hunt: No. This is all an accident. Short: Why are we here when we could be at the Ivy? Hunt: Dave says to me, "Let's meet for lunch, where do you want to go?" I said, "Just meet me at this little Cafe 50's on Santa Monica Boulevard." He says, "I'm not gonna go if I have to dress like Fonzie." [Laughter] Short: [Faux unctuous]: What's he like? Hunt: Oh, stop it. Dave did not let me live it down. I thought, "It's small, nobody'll bother him, he can come in, he can get out... Short: Isn't it funny, it really is true: Everyone in America thinks that when you're on with Dave, that you two would make the perfect couple. Are you aware of that? Don't you think that?
Short: Anyway, Bonnie, congratulations; Michael [Short, his brother] is having a riot on your show and he says that... Hunt: ...he's ready to stab me in my sleep. Short: Yeah, but that's good! Hunt: We did an episode last week, and the night before I had taken the whole story line apart. Because I was supposed to get a dog, find a dog...and the network said, "Oh, can you get a Saint Bernard and then have Charles Grodin come pick it up at the end?" I go [Deliberately], "Let me talk to the staff." Short: [Lugubriously, as Charles Grodin] "Is this tie straight?" [Laughter] "Is it hot in here? Let me turn down the heat." Hunt: That's what he always does: "Is there a draft?" He does it real calmly, like he's gonna blow up: "Is there a draft?"Short: Yeah. "I, uh, uh, this heat is driving me crazy."
Short: If he doesn't have an illness, he knows where he can get one. So, you've done two movies with him? Hunt: That's right. Both Beethoven movies. Short: Money, honey. Hunt: For somebody, not me...I got $10,000 for both movies. [Laughter] PREMIERE: Is it harder to be funny in a sequel? Short: I thought it was easier. Hunt: Well, I was in that damn dog suit most of the time. [Laughter] Which one are you doing? Short: Father of the Bride 2. It was easy, 'cause you just know what you're doing. And then Steve [Martin] and Diane [Keaton], we all knew each other before, but now we know each other...more.
Short: No, love that sequel stuff. [To Hunt] Who the hell are you waving at now? PREMIERE: She knows everybody here. Hunt: There's nobody back there. [Laughs] Short: Gee, that beer went down real fast. Hunt: [In slurred speech] I, I, I, you never loved me. [Beckons to baffled man behind counter] Hey, hey, stranger. [Lurches in his direction, falls down] PREMIERE: [Amid laughter] So are you the mother in Jumanji? Hunt: No! I'm the single dame. Short: Which is a stretch. Hunt: Hon, you know I stretch -- forget it, I won't go there. No, I play Robin's love interest. Short: Wow. PREMIERE: It's obviously very different from the book. Hunt: My character's not in the book. So I just went nuts with the pen and sent it to the studio. Working with Robin was a lot of fun just because I was so used to Second City and having six other people onstage doing whatever they want, that being with Robin was like being with six other people, except it was just him. [Laughter] My three brothers are the three funniest guys in the world, and I love working with guys who are just as funny. Short: They older brothers or younger brothers? Hunt: All older. I have three sisters too. Short: Where are you in the family? Hunt: Six out of seven. Short: I'm five out of five. Hunt: Wow. PREMIERE: Does that help you to be funny? Short: In my life, it was total confidence, because everybody loved me and picked me up: [Holds imaginary infant] "Yo, little cute Marty. You're the favourite. We love you. The others have attitudinal problems." [Laughter] No, I was happy. You're happy, aren't you, in your life? Hunt: I'm very happy. Short: Happily married? Hunt: Yup. And I have my makeup. I felt like an oil painting driving down the street. Short: I should say so. Hunt: My husband, when he walked in the house just when I was leaving, he looked at my face and started laughing. Short: You look very pretty. I'd kill to look that pretty. Hunt: It's like I've had tuck-pointing done on the whole side of my face. Short: What they do with the brickwork, the pointing? Hunt: That's tuck-pointing...Marty, please: I come from a blue-collar neighbourhood. I know the term. PREMIERE: Were you from a blue-collar neighbourhood too? Short: [Faux British] Not really...no. My father was the vice-president of Canadian Steel. Hunt: Oh dear. Short: Mother was a concert mistress at the symphony. Hunt: Wow...my mom was a housewife. Short: Yeah, well, so was mine. Hunt: And she worked at a steel place. Short: "A steel place"? Hunt: I dunno. [Laughter] Didn't you say something about a steel place? Short: I would say it was, um, upper-middle. Hunt: We were middle class. Short: But my father was cheap, so we lived badly. Hunt: My dad had to be the guy who had to pay for everything. He would wait to go out for three months so that he could pick up the tab. Short: My father never picked up the tabs. People thought he had an impediment in his reach. Hunt: Oh God, not my dad. My dad was like Gleason. He was always at Toots Shor's, even if we were at Dairy Queen -- "Awright!" He would pile us all into the car and say, "We're going out to dinner," and he would go to that drive-though called Quick Shake on Addison, in Chicago, right by Wrigley Field? We would never get out of the car! [Laughter] He'd pass the burgers back and he's, like, "You having a good time?" "Yes, Dad." Then he'd talk about it for three weeks afterward: "Remember we went out for dinner? Did you have a good time?" "Yeah, we had a great time." "Did you tell your friends?" "Yes, we did, told our friends." It was very sweet. Unlike Marty's father, who was just a rich guy. Short: No, no, no. Hunt: No, you said it. Short: You know what it was -- he was an Irish immigrant, and they didn't spend money. My mother kept two [sets of] books. One was the real books and one was, you know, everything in half. "How much was that coat?" "It was $6." "Ummm, that's expensive." "I know, but it's a mink coat, and what are you gonna do?" He just wasn't prepared for the real truth of what things cost. Hunt: I know. My dad would say to my mother, "You have no idea what it's like out there." She's raising seven children [Laughter], we're all in school, and he'd say, "Alice, you have no idea what it's like out there!" Short: Your mother's name's Alice? Perfect. [To waitress] Oh, nurse? I need another beer... Hunt: Bartender, give him a drink, he's starving! No, she's not bringing me another. No! I'll be making love to you. I'm one-beer Bonnie; honest to God, Marty, I'm bombed right now. Short: Are you serious? Wow. Hunt: Whoo! [Laughs] The dress comes off... Short: [Points to his lap] Can you pick up that napkin for me? Hunt: [Brightly] "Not with your hand!" [Laughter] Marty, you know what? The very first time I was ever on The Tonight Show you were there...[He stares blankly] Oh, Mr. I've-been-on-so-many-times-I-know-so-many-famous-people... Short: Oh, I totally remember. Hunt: No, you don't. You little liar. [Laughter] PREMIERE: Is it harder for you to be funny in the movies than it is in television? Hunt: [To Martin] Which director are you gonna talk against? [Laughter] PREMIERE: Well, is it hard to convince directors that you know what you're doing? Hunt: Look at my body, Chris. I don't think I need to convince. [Laughter] I don't know why that's so funny. Short: I think if you ask [people] what their favourite comedies in film are, they'll always go back to the '30s -- Hunt: Right. Short: -- and if you say, "What's your favourite dramatic film?" they might go back to 1980 or The Godfather or something. I think it's harder to make a 90-minute comedy. Hunt: You need to have someone with a vision who's gonna see it through. I think that human behaviour is the funniest thing in the world, and if you stay true to the human behaviour of the character -- you always win. Short: It's like Father of the Bride. When I first did it, I know that some people watching -- let's say the studio -- were a little concerned, um, ahem, that [the character] was too big. And yet if you're sincere within that character, there's nothing too big. PREMIERE: Will most directors give you the chance to improvise? Short: Charles Shyer did on both Father of the Bride movies. Chris [Guest] did [on The Big Picture]. But a lot of them don't want you to. Harold Ramis always says, "The one thing about comedy is that they say, 'Now that you're in Hollywood, please play to your weakness.'" Hunt: That's true. Short: I had a director once say to me, "You know what the problem is with you people from SCTV? You think too much." Hunt: That's always happened to me, you know: "We just love what you do and -- oh, don't do that." Short: I'm amazed at people in comedy who can work on tense sets. Out of angst for me comes very little. For some it does. For some, that's the key to it. Hunt: Huh? Short: I don't know what I said. [Laughter] I memorised it earlier and I was hoping that it would play. I forgot you'd be here. [Laughter] I assumed with the one beer you'd be slowing up -- Hunt: Aw, shaddup! PREMIERE: You guys have more things coming? Short: I'm touring in P.S. Your Cat Is Dead with the original actress who played Tabitha. His name escapes me. Hunt: I'm doing Starlight Express, so forgive me if I'm wiped out. Short: What's that like, to be rollerblading all day long? Hunt: Right now I feel like I still have the skates on. |
Hunt:
You know what they have here? Pyjama night...and you eat for free. When
I first moved out here, all of us from Second City used to come. I brought
Dave [Letterman].
Hunt:
No, he's like my brother. He's just like my brother Pat.
Hunt:
He'd get really mad if I said that. He's a hypochondriac.
Hunt:
More, yeah. It's like going back to camp.