- Born: 22 June 1977
- Current Whereabouts: Knoxville, TN
- Musical Influences / Favorite Bands: WWF theme music [James Johnston], Lynyrd Skynyrd, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Weird Al Yankovic, Pink Floyd
- What I Like: WWF and Kevin Smith films
- What I Don't Like: Star Trek and Broadway musicals
- Proudest Accomplishments: The Ozzy vs. Don shoot interview and the "Sports Entertainment" video
- The Future: "Not living with my parents"
Without a doubt, he is the most electrifying Suck Rock Champion in music entertainment history (because, of course, he is the only Suck Rock Champion in history). "The Don" has written and sung on the most memorable Blotched Stogies classics, and produced all Blotched Stogies video projects. However, Don Chaotic has retired from singing to pursue a career in Video Production.
Don Chaotic on MySpace
Viking Don painted by Dr. Spilkus