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Nowhere Man |
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Maps and Legends Index |
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Lincoln, Nebraska. Always assumed Lincoln was a "Major City". It isn't. Pittsburgh looked as shiny as the fucking Hope Diamond once we'd passed through it. If I had to go back to it, I could take comfort in at least that. We found yet another diner to stop at, and as I was pissing I thought about all the diners across America that I had relieved myself in since we'd left the Pitts. That was about all I had to show for this trip, and I'd flushed all the evidence. Well, I suppose I had a couple memory cards full of digital pictures. But even those were transient. Just a series of ones and zeros that eventually make up an image that could be erased in an instant. Or manipulated into something completely unrecognizable. And then it's my word against the world that I ever went anywhere. That I ever existed. When I got back to the table, Justin was paging through a "What's Happening in Lincoln" brochure. I sat down and asked him if that was just an existential question or if there were actual things in there. "Sure. We're just in time for Pineapple Days. Starts tomorrow." "Somebody oughtta tell these people pineapples don't come from Nebraska," I said and inhaled both the glass of juice and the glass of water on the table. "Maybe you should do it," he said, still paging through the book, "you're so good at breaking bad news." He looked up and gave me a smart assed smile. I gave him a discreet flipping off. "Okay, how 'bout umm, the Nebraska Church Goods Company? We could buy some crosses." I didn't answer, trying to exude boredom so he'd shut the fuck up already. But unfortunately, he had more to share. "The Delray Ballroom offers swing and country dance classes... ooh! They have a Gap." He looked up with a silly grin on his face and nodded sarcastically. I shrugged with nonchalance. "Well that's at least somewhat comforting. I was starting to wonder if the Twilight Zone might actually exist." He ripped open his usual six packets of sugar and poured them into his coffee. "You never know, it could be a Bizarro-Gap. With nothing but cowboy boots." It wasn't all that funny, but he ran his foot up my leg and smiled and I found myself unable to contain laughter. We looked at each other through tired eyes and chuckled for a while until the waitress brought our food. "Maybe it's some kind of sexual euphemism for a gay festival. The pineapple fest or what the fuck ever it was." He swallowed what he was eating and laughed. "I've never heard that one before. 'Hey big boy, wanna see my pineapple?' That's just too scary to contemplate." We finished eating in silence, but I kept expecting him to bring up what we'd talked about in the field the other night. It's not as though I hadn't considered it. Shit, there were several nights I was wide-awake in bed, thinking of ways I could take over Vanguard all for myself. And when Stockwell offered to buy my soul for the most fucking beautiful client list in history...well, a part of me did weep for that. But to start from literally nothing? Leave it to my eternal optimist just to believe that it's more than a remotely feasible option. "I'm sure if we just drive around we're bound to find something interesting," Justin said as I started the car. -------- We ended up driving until about five o'clock, which was about five hours after we'd left the diner, and were fast approaching the Colorado border. Determined to not exit this god-forsaken state without actually seeing something besides the interior of that fucking diner, I took a chance and turned off the road when I saw a dilapidated wooden sign that said "Eureka". The bumpy dirt and gravel road woke Justin up. He looked around a few seconds before finally asking where the hell we were going. "Is this even a road, Brian?" "There was a sign. With an arrow." I said it more to assure myself than him. "What did it say? 'This way to absolutely nothing?'" I couldn't have driven more than a few more yards when I saw something. "Look! Look, straight ahead," I pointed. "See that white thing up there on the hill? I think that's a building." "So?" "So let's check it out. I think it might be a ghost town." "Again, I say, 'so?'" "So, wee kin mine fer gold, yung'n," I teased and ruffled his hair. He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Aren't they ghost towns 'cause there wasn't any gold?" "Don't kill a man's dream before it's started, boy." What happened to the optimism from the other night, I wondered. "Holy Fuck would you look at this!" I said as we reached the main, well, the only drag, of what was once Eureka, Nebraska. "It's just missing the camera crew to film the spaghetti western." "Weird..." I let the car coast past the buildings and the both of us just took it all in without speaking. It really did look like the set of a John Wayne film or something. There was a post office, a sheriff's office, a general store, a saloon, complete with swinging doors, still in tact, and, of course, a house of ill repute above the saloon. It was such a cliché of itself it was hard to accept that it was really authentic. I pulled up to the saloon and put the car in park. "Honey, we're home." I grabbed his head and brought his lips to mine. "Think there are still beds in the brothel...?" He made a funny face. "I dunno.... that's kinda gross, actually." "...And if there are, do you think we could still see cum stains?" "Wow, that's *extremely* gross," he admonished through giggles. I smiled and kissed him again. "C'mon, let's look around." I grabbed the digital camera and stuck a new card in it and Justin grabbed his sketchpad. He put his hand up to shade his eyes from the setting sun. "This is pretty cool." "Yeah. I know," I affirmed and pushed through the doors of the saloon like Clint Eastwood. Not much remained in the old watering hole, except for a few overturned, rotted out tables, the bar, and a platform, which was probably the stage for the dancing girls. The shelves behind the bar were empty and dusty as hell, spider webs covering just about every inch. The place reeked of mildew, and I wondered how long it would be before Justin would need his inhaler. Justin wandered over to the back of the room and hopped up on the stage. I took a couple shots of him wandering around up there. "Careful," I told him between pictures, "never know how sturdy this place is." "You think those guys ever fucked each other?" "Of course. That's why they had to ship the whores into town. Because it wasn't right a proper Christian man take it up the ass. Better he fucked a pussy. So they built this place to keep them from all turning gay, and all was made right." He laughed and I was able to get a really great shot of his smile. "Now show me whatcha got, boy." "Dance?" he laughed harder. "I feel like it's about to collapse as it is." "C'mon, just one picture. Then I get to take you upstairs and have my way with you." "You better have a lot of gold, mister," he said in falsetto and swayed his hips at me. "Yeah I got two huge nuggets in my pants, sweetheart." We both laughed and he spun around a couple times. Then I heard a crunch, and watched Justin's leg disappear. "Owwwww! Fuck!" I hopped up there and gave him my hand. "Well that was a piss poor excuse for a sexy dance," I said and pulled him, wincing, out of the hole. "How's a guy supposed to get it up when you're falling on your ass?" He smiled, half-assed, and leaned into me, rubbing his ass. "How come I'm the one taking all the pratfalls on this trip? My ass is going to be paralyzed when it's all over." I laughed and helped him off the stage, making him take a few steps holding on to me to check to see if he was walking okay. He brushed the cobwebs off his leg. "Brian, this place is gross. Whaddya say we move on...?" He was fucking nuts if he thought I was gonna leave this place already. I wanted to stay the night. "I'm goin' upstairs," I told him and grabbed, sweeping him off his feet and carrying him like a girl. "Hey!" he giggled. "Put me down you ruffian, I want my gold first!" I carried him up the stairs, laughing the whole way. "Fuck, you're heavy," I teased. "Shut up, I am not!" he protested and bit my ear. We were both laughing so hard by the time I got to the top step, I wasn't sure the sound I was hearing was wood cracking again, like it did when Justin fell on the stage. Then in an instant, a horrible, loud, awful racket sounded from beneath me and I realized the stairs were about to fall out from under us. I propelled both of us as far as I could to the upper level, which was enough force to detach the stairs completely. I watched the structure crash to the floor. "Hoh shit," I said, stunned. "What the fuck just happened??" Justin asked and crawled next to me to peer over the edge. "Jesus Christ..." I turned to look him over. "Are you okay?" He laughed. "Yeah, but...we broke the whole place! How are we gonna get back down?" "We'll have to jump." "That's a long jump..." I took a couple shots of the broken staircase and rose to my feet, offering Justin my hand yet again. "So, door number one, two, three, or four?" "You're not really thinking of staying up here, are you? What if the whole place collapses?" "Relax, I just wanna look around as long as we're up here." He humored me and opened one of the doors. "Ewwwwwww Gross! Brian! There's a dead rotting cat in there. Can we please get out of here now?" I sighed. It was getting too dark to take any more good pictures inside and I still wanted to check out a couple of the other buildings. Hopefully there'd be a decent one to camp out in. ---------------- We were able to make it out of the building climbing through a back window. I told him to help me with the camping stuff and he threatened to sleep in the car if I thought he was going to stay in one of these disgusting old buildings. But I called his bluff and headed for the little white church at the end of the road, a mere five doors down from the saloon and brothel. The building was ironically and appropriately immaculate. Save for a few cobwebs in the corners and coating of dirt and dust on the hardwood floor, the place was bare. There were three windows on either side of the building, the glass panes all in tact. All that remained of the chancel was a tall shelf attached to the wall, and the communion rail. I could tell right away there were about a hundred other places Justin would rather be than in an old church, let alone being less than thrilled by the idea of spending the night there. While he paced the floor, I spread the sleeping bag out in the sunken aisle in the middle of the building. "I feel like I'm going to hell just for standing in here..." he mumbled, staring toward the ghost of the altar. I snuck to the back and grabbed the rope hanging down there. Latching both hands and arms to the thick cord, I gave it a good yank. It still rang. Loudly. Justin jumped out of his skin and spun around. "Jeees...jeeeeez, Brian, Jeez...what, what did you do that for?? What if that old thing comes crashing down on top of you?? What if people hear it ring and the cops come after us and arrest us? What if - " I walked over to him and grabbed him by the waist, shutting him up with a long kiss. "S'just a building," I assured him. "It- it's kinda creepy, dont you think?" "And what makes this one creepier than the whorehouse?" "Well, because...it's...church...churchy." I let go of him, rolling my eyes and sat down on the bag. I turned on the iPod that still had the music on it from Chicago, hoping that would ease him a little. By now it was getting close to eight thirty, so I lit our two Coleman lanterns and placed them up on either side of the aisle. "It's too dark to take any pictures in here, why don't you sketch that old Franklin stove back there." He shrugged and sat down with me, practically in my lap. "C'mon," I encouraged, kissing his ear, "We came here for the inspiration, remember?" He sighed and grabbed his sketchbook and took one of the lanterns over to the stove, placing it so that the light cast an artful shadow on the floor and wall. He returned next to me and began to draw. I watched every moment of it, until it got too dark for him to see. "Looks great," I told him and he jumped, I guess forgetting I was even watching this absolute magic unfold. I shined the flashlight on it for a minute. Maybe I really could make a go at starting my own business, I thought. How long could it take, really, to establish a decent client base in San Francisco? With my experience and ability I could at least be able to afford to eat in a reasonable space of time. And he's such a fucking good artist, I could really use him. And we both need a fucking job. He smiled and put the book into his backpack. "I'll bet there's ghosts in here," he said. I dug through my own for something to smoke. "Well," I said and showed him the joint I'd gratefully found, "They can join us." "I dunno if ghosts can inhale," he laughed. "And I dunno if I should either, it might make me paranoid in here." I rolled my eyes yet again and took a drag, handing it to Justin anyway. He pushed my hand back at me. "Princessssssss..." I exhaled and leaned in to kiss his neck. "C'monnnn, I wanna fuck." He shivered. "So, I can't fuck you without getting high?" he giggled. "I figured you thought better of yourself than that..." Instead of trying to come up with a clever response to that, I kissed him. As I puffed on the cigarette another time, I slipped my hand up his t-shirt and rubbed my thumb over his nipple. I felt his body relaxing, leaning into my hand and he made a moan I felt travel through my fingers and then straight to my cock. I let my head droop to his neck and inhaled. He smelled fucking fantastic. Like himself. Like sweat, dirt, dust, the car, and me and I couldn't help taking a good, full lick of his skin. "Mmmfeels nice," he whispered. I pulled back and his eyes were shut and he was smiling and suddenly I had this feeling of elation that I wished that we could stay here forever. Stay like this. Always feel like this. And not have to worry about anything or anyone. But feeling like this. I reached over and dug into my bag again, pulling out my switchblade. "What're you doing?" he asked. When I flicked the thing open, he gasped a little. "Um...you know I'll try just about anything, but I think that might be a kink you're going to have to fulfill with someone else." "It's not for that." I leaned over him and started carving into the floorboards. "You're desecrating a church. That's like, totally evil." "Shut up and shine the flashlight over here." He obeyed, except to read the words as I completed them. "Brian...and...Justin... fucked...here." I looked up and, despite his reservations he was smiling. "Now," I said, "Roll over, or I'll be a liar, too." He laughed and put the flashlight out. "We're so going to hell." I helped him pull off his shirt and he lay down on his stomach. I ran my fingers up and down his spine until his breathing slowed and he was moaning again a little with every breath. I leaned down and kissed his shoulder with an open mouth. He turned his head and smiled at me. That happy, drunk-sober smile. I rubbed my stubble lightly back and forth across his smooth skin. "MmmmmmBrian..." he moaned. "Yeah?" I pulled his shorts down, staring at him the whole time. "Nothin'...just...'mmm...'" I chuckled in my throat and massaged his cheeks and just about the time I was gonna push a finger inside, he shot up and gasped. "What the fuck is that?!" "What??" Fucking hell... "There was...something moved," he whispered frantically, barely audible. "Over there, in the corner!" He grabbed the flashlight and shined it over there. "I don't see anything..." "I swear there was something." He sounded almost disappointed. "Probably a rodent or something." "What if it was an angry ghost?" "Angry about what? That we can have sex and they can't?" "Or that we're sodomizing in their holy place or whatever." "Oh please," I sighed, "it's a fucking building." "Not to the people who died here! They were really serious about this stuff." I groaned and leaned back on my elbows. If there were spirits in here we were pissing off, they couldn't be more pissed off than I was becoming at that moment. They didn't know how fucking lucky they were, being dead. They could go anywhere they wanted, do anything they wanted, didn't have to worry about a fucking thing. But instead they stay behind in this dump because the poor fuckers never fulfilled their dreams of striking it rich quick, picking up and leaving their lives behind for a long shot. Suckers. The only smart ones that moved West were the ones that sold the dumbfuckers the pans to mine the shit. As my mind was wandering, I felt a hand on my chest. "I'm sorry, I'm being dopey. I wanna do it though, let's do it. Fuck 'em." I smiled. "You're a big fucking tease." "Yeah, I know," he giggled until I leaned in to kiss him. "Mmm...s'kinda hot actually. They're all waaatching...oooh." "Now you're gettin' it," I praised and kissed his neck, grabbing his hair in my hand. I got naked and pressed my whole body on top of his, pushing my cock between his cheeks. I rubbed my hair over his back and he groaned, arching upward. "You sure now?" He bucked his ass up into me, over and over. "Ughhfuck me. C'mon." I pulled away so I could put on a condom. "Mmmmaybe I don't feel like it now..." He lifted his head and looked up at me with panic. "Ughhhyes you do, fucker!" I laughed and pushed in quick, draping my whole body over him. Justin gasped and turned his head to the side so he could kiss me. After a while I grabbed a hold of his hands and lifted myself up so I could start thrusting. I went really slowly for a long, long time. I listened to Justin's breath get shallow and faster. He whimpered and writhed underneath me, squeezing the shit out of my hands when a thrust was particularly good for him. He threw his head back and wailed. "Mmmfuck! Fuck, that's good." "Yeah, yeah...Justin..." Suddenly I couldn't take it anymore and my body started slamming into him. I didn't have a choice about it. Our grunting sounded twice as loud in this empty hollow space, and I rammed him as deep and hard as it took to get Justin to grunt with my every thrust. Then it was too much and he jerked back against me just as hard, his head thrown back. "Jesus...god!" he screamed and wrenched his hand away from mine so he could cover his mouth. Through his panting and gasping, he laughed. I grabbed his ass and pulled on it, as though I could possibly get any deeper inside him. A couple quick thrusts and I was exploding. My cock and my entire body. "Oohh I'm so going to hell..." he said once his breathing had slowed. I collapsed on top of him and groaned. "Fuck that was good." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Mmm...yeah," he whispered, and kissed the hand that was still holding on to his. "Sorry?" "Not the slightest bit." "Having a good time?" "Of my life," he said, his speech slurred. "I don't want to sleep here, though." I laughed through my nose and closed my eyes. After a few minutes I think I heard him say he loved me. I think I held him tighter. |
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Maps and Legends Index |
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