YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOM IF...

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+ You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

+ You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

+ You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

+ Your kid throws up, and you catch it.

+ Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

+ You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.

+ You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.

+ Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station, and you do it.