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well ok, yea, im in "one of those mood"" thingys. i know the clouds wil part eventually, but it always gets worse before it gets better... im just still in the "getting worse" part of it right now. as for you... you need to be more honest with yourself about me... i know what you feel... or what you did feel anyways, if its changed at all... you are/were in love with me. and if you disagree both you and I know your lying... i wish you would just get the balls to fess up to it... that might make things different between us, ya know? but even now, i dont have the emotional sanity to deal with love or anything else for that matter. too much shyte goin on in my head right now. dunno where to turn or where to go right now. i feel almost half tempted to commit myself somewhere for manic depression... i hate how my life is right now... i look in the mirror, and I dunno who the hell im lookin at anymore... and i dont mean this in a mean way, but i dont wanna hear "i know what you mean/feel" thats way to fukin cliche for me. everyone says that. peeps might go thru the exact same situation, but everyone responds to it differently... i am just at the bottom rung of my emotional ladder, and i cant handle simple shit anymore. coming home from work and knowing that i have a girl at home whose 2 1/2 weeks due (yea, really soon!) is enough stress to make me want to smash my face into a mirror (done it once already, got a small scar on my face now from it). im spinning in circles with know known direction to facec or go. i dunno about anything anymore. the more i try, the harder it is, ya know? i dunno anymore.... well, I'm gonna stop ranting and crying on the computer now... I'll talk to you later maybe... if im not in a hospital by then.
Tim
p.s. i really am serious about the hospital thing... shannon doesnt know im thinking about doing that yet, i havent talked with her about it as of yet so.. yea... eh
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