Welcome to page 2 of the BK Diaries..

Boovin@prodigy.net


Hey,

Nice site, I am following down the dark path that others have taken before me, I work at burger king. let the horror begin. I know what you mean about the fifty foot piles of trash three feet away from where the meat is stored. I haven't seen any vermin, but i'm sure they will appear as the weather becomes nicer.

I have two gripes. i was hired for $7.00 an hour, but I've only been paid $6.75 for the past five weeks. I've mentioned this several times to the managers, and finally they drafted some report for the big local office, that was about two weeks ago, and nothing has happened. I have three Boovins running my BK, and one of them managed to screw up pay roll and not pay me for last week's work. yes, Idid not recieve a pay check. I worked a good thirteen hours, so I got about a hundred bucks coming to me, we'll see if I get it this thursday. I talked to the good Boovin and hopefully she will get it squared away.

I work with some of the laziest people. they don't do shit, and don't care either. I don't care, but when something they fail to do affects me, i get pissed. oh well. I won't bore you with trivial BK crap. though, I find it funny that I got yelled at for taking too long on making a whopper, i was told it didn't have to be perfect. but isn't perfection something you'd want to strive for. most people probably realize that they are paying $3 for a burger, and that it isn't going to be gourmet, but still.......you'd think they would want to have some pride in our product. blech.

I can't eat the crap anymore. after weeks of free food, i can't stomach one more bite.


We got a nice well thought out, Nasty email from some older gentleman who decided to rip us a new asshole for being young and wanting a better way of life. We were able to change the insults into constructive dialog and we both found out we had a lot in common..Here's the chain of emails below:

Dear Hard Done-By, former All-American Soda Jerker,

Haven't I seen you somewhere before ?

Yes, that's right: aren't you the mealy-mouthed little mite behind the Burger King counter: the one in the fast-lane, with the fast-line in lip, who wants to get paid $5-plus per hour, just for 'turning-up' at the premises...and is not even prepared to be pleasant, and raise a smile, for the customer ?

Or are you the indifferent, scruffy little tyke in the raggy unpressed denim trousers, with the dirty finger nails, the tattoos, and the breath that reeks like the inside of a Lucky Strike packet ?

Or, perhaps you're the one who can't speak the English language, can't add-up, can't comprehend a simple order...but, simultaneousy stakes a claim to a lion's share of the best things in life, even though you might not have paid a penny piece into the system, and don' t belong in the country where you are receiving succour ?

And then again, you might come from Mexico, or Bosnia, or Bogota, or Bullawayo, or Bull-somewhere else...but there's one thing more than likely: if your are, you haven't even got a Green Form, or you've borrowed one, from your auntie's brother's cousin's second sister-in-law, removed. But nobody's going to check in this Land of the Free, are they ?

And in spite of this, you have the unbridled cheek to expect to walk into an enterprise which was provided for people, by people who worked, scraped, strived, and fought for your country, to provide a home for THEM - in addition to a few million bums who, one way or another, might have conned their way in after the war was over - and all you can do is moan, and groan, when you have to set-to, and do a bit of hard work, for once in a while, in exchange for serious cash-on-the-nail.

Well listen to me, my over-fed, ungrateful spoiled American newbritches: millions of guys like me, flogged their guts out, with a uniform on - and suffered 'muck and bullets' privations a darned sight worse than scrubbing-out a few pans, and mopping-up a few floors in the local Burker King outlet - to provide the Eldorado, that people like you would seem to spend your time deprecating.

My message is this: if you want ADULT wages, when you are nothing more than a kid, then you have to WORK for them: people don't give you money for nothing...like your modern parents do.

When I was a 13-year-old young shaver, I was glad to scrub-out the slaughterhouse, at the local butchers - in addition to getting to the shop, before school, at 6am, every other morning, to collect the meat orders, and take them out on my meat bike, and pedal round a crippling, hilly, 1O-mile circuit with 56lbs of meat in my basket - and I was happy to do it, yes, for less than two dollars a week.

And you know what I did with the money ? I took every cent of it home, and gave it to my widowed mother, to run the home with.

I did the same with the 5O cents I got, every Saturday afternoon, for hauling a heavy golfbag around an 18-hole course, as a caddy, from the age of Eleven ! Any other extra cash I earned, also went to my mother, to help us survive, before the days of the Welfare State.

I am pretty certain that a good proportion of the people you are going-on about, spend theirs on everything from Nintendo Machines, to Mobile Phones, tights, make-up, and all-night Discos - at best - to, at worst, everything from hard liquour, to anything else that gives them a temporary feeling of ecstasy.

The fact is: if you want hard cash, you have got to work HARD for it - and smile, into the bargain - and, like than man said: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen !"

Get Real, Sunshine: nobody gives you anything for nothing: didn't you realise that, oh ungrateful, spoiled, all-American boy !

What you lot need is a good taste of compulsory military service - minus the transistor radios, the 'Pot', the mobile phones, and the USAF, PFC, 'gentleman's life' soft-option - that would make you realise that life in the Burger King fast-lane is 'paradise', by comparison.

I'm heartened to learn that your completed academic pursuits have fitted you for more valuable work in the community: I only hope that maturity will prevail, and that, should you marry, you will tell your children that, at the end of the day, you get paid what you are worth: and the fact that you are an out-of-work, hard-up kid, doesn't give you carte blanche to fleece corporate business with impunity, by expecting to get paid for merely 'turning up', and behaving like the proverbial 'Old Woman In The Vinegar Bottle'.

Every good wish, oh son of Americana, and, please, take a word from a wise old fella: if you're still 'broiling' with that deeply-ingrained rancour, change your attitude; I fear it just could affect your inter-action with your colleagues and peers, in your current profession...and very soon you could be fostering the same malignant conclusions about your current employers.

Sincerely, always, Gerald


After my reply to him he wrote this:

Dear Solomon,

I don't give two hoots whether your generation want to talk to me, or not, my boy: me and my peers got along alright, before you, and your kind, came on the scene; and we certainly don't need you now...nor ever will.

After all, who cares about a group of over-indulged, all-grasping, selfish ingrats, who are about as insular, self-centred, self-indulgent, and self-destruct
orientated, as were the Nazis ?
Jugend uber alles...now where have I heard that before, I wonder ? And you know what happened to them, dont you ? Think about, Solomon, mein kind: your, all-excluding youthful 'Master-Race' haven't quite inherited the world yet !

But don't worry, old boy: your chance to make your point - in uniform (and I don't mean McDonalds) - might well be just around the corner !

Auf wiedersehen. Gerry.

And here's our response back to him:
Subject: Re: SPOILED, RATHER THAN BROILED !

Ahh, someone who wants to give a lesson. well my friend, thanks for fighting for this country so I don't have to but that doesn't mean you're a smart man or that you got the point I am making. I never expected something for nothing and the same job politics exist everywhere but Burger king exploits workers, cuts corners and buys meat from farms where animals are treated with the poorest conditions. I didn't complain about it when I worked and I worked damn hard and they took advantage of it. If you don't believe that, ask my old manager..
I'm sorry you had to bring $ for your widowed mother but dont bring your sob story here. Life isn't exactly easy for everyone else in the land..

And as for my resentment about burger king, the site was basically a joke and the thousands of people who visit it monthly are the ones who submit all the content so I'd take a long hard look at that. Do we have it better than you did 50 years ago? most definitely. However, airing a gripe in a constructive way like we do allows people out there to feel like they are not alone.

So, keep thinking you were better, smarter and that you know whats best for the rest of us and we'll continue to show you why we don't like to talk to you..

And, here's his response:


OK Solomon, I take your point - and apologise for condemning, too generally, and too hastily - and I simultaneously thank God that, yes, there are, of course, a helluva lot of nice, young people out there, like you, who obviously DID work hard in that outlet...and yet, got the sticky end of the lollipop for your pains.
Thanks for being so gracious and patient with a 'passed-over', boring old fart, who - I regret to say - let not a little latent bitterness cloud his overall sense of judgement, in this particular instance.

Every good wish, in everything you do: I am sure the rich level of magnanimity you reflect in your replies - which denotes great reservoirs of strength of character, and dignity, on your part - will spur you on to even greater heights in your current profession.

God Bless and Take Care of you, Solomon; and speed you onward and upward.
Sincerely, always, Gerry.

And, here's his last email to us:
Great !

I wish I had your computer skills: mine are, characteristically lousy (for an old-timer), but I am trying hard, and refuse to be beaten.

In reality, if I were to admit it, I have always been a bit of a 'rebel', myself; and always had a habit of asking too many questions of the corporate monster, and challenging authority...because I knew, instinctively, I could deliver the goods, better than he could !

Had I have lived in Nazi Germany, I've no doubt I would have been first into the ovens. They didn't like 'boat-rockers', one tiny bit: Jewish, or otherwise !

As it is, I am English, and have lived here, most of my life, except for
when I was overseas, in the forces.

You are right to challenge inequities, wherever they show their ugly head: keep up the good work, Mike: nice to know we are - really - both very much on the same side, in EVERY respect.

Sincerely, always, Gerry.

Verdict: Gerry is a cool guy...


I am the "evil customer". I am an ex- supervisor from Erie, PA. You had better believe that when I do go to Burger King (when I have the desire to give myself food poisining), I make it hell for all the employees that ratted on me when I was trying to be "cool". I went into my old restaurant and ordered a Double Chz ADD mayo, lettuce, and tomato. Of course it was a manager who took my order. To my big surprise, it was made wrong. (imagine that). I went back in, and approached the supervisor, and asked for a new sandwich made correctly. She had just finished taking an order from another customer. She snatched that sandwich out of my hands and whipped open the wrap, and ADDED mayo, lettuce, and tomato. (At this point, my blood is starting to boil). So when she returned with my sandwich, I looked at her and said "okay, now you can march your pretty little butt right back to the sink and wash your hands before you make my sandwich after touching that filthy money. So by now she was really mad at me. She made me a new sandwich, and low and behold, it still didn't have mayo, lettuce, or tomoato on it. I'm sure you all can imagine where the story ends here. So I am left with a wonderful feeling of being the "Evil Customer". Sometimes it feels really good....


I was surfing, and happened to stumble upon your website. I really don't know what to say. To the creators, I applaud you. It is some really interesting reading material. To the anti ex-gruntled employee people, I really don't know what to say. Why would they even take the time to sit here and argue with these people about their feelings. Especially the one named "customer" that argued about how wonderful BK is. It may be true in some cases, but after reading some stories, I now believe that all BK's are the one in the same. The creators are correct in what they say. It is easy for a customer to sit back and say how wonderful the Burger King in their town is, but sorry, until you have worked there, you have NO CLUE!!!!
My BK career started in 1991. I was one of the best. One of the ones that the customers "loved," but DM's despised. I met my husband there. I had a lot of good times as a crew member. I begged for management, and I finally got it one day. Let's just say that I worked my ass off for a long time, and I still ended up leaving. My supervisor was a complete moron. She didn't like me because I wanted to obey the rules, because I wanted to keep my customers happy. Let's just say, I threw my keys at her and walked out in the middle of lunch.

In 1998, I went back to BK (big mistake) to just work part time while I collected unemployment. Corporate loved me now because I was older, and I already knew everything about the company. (so I thought)......I became a supervisor, and my life went down hill from there. I wanted to be the best supervisor, and I wanted my employees to love me. So I did the free food thing, the if I don't see it then it's okay thing, the grab a quick smoke out in my car thing, the give .50 raise thing every 6 months, I was every 16 year old's dream boss. Well, did I ever learn the way corporate world runs. I don't have enough time to sit here and tell you everything I was taught. I can only share some stories. Maybe the people that say BK is so wonderful will realize that it's not really that great. The "kiddos" is their town are run by a good "upper management." That treats them like humans. I have yet to find a francisee owner that is truly the best to work for.

Here are some company secrets from my town.

I was told not to "care" about these kids. They are from low income families who do drugs, and will probably end up killing someone later in life. I wasn't supposed to care that a certain employee who was only 16, raised his eight brothers and sisters, and stole food out of my dumpsters to feed them because his mother was a drug addict. I was only to fire him. I couldn't do it. I took the blame for him a hundred times.

When my numbers didn't match at the end of the day, I was supposed to go into my own wallet, and make the numbers match. Some days it would be over $100. The problem was that my employees couldn't read, and couldn't make change correctly. Again, this was a welfare to work BK. But I did it. If I didn't, then a cashier would be fired.

Sexual harassment. There is no such thing as sexual harassment at BK. It makes the company look bad. My AM 1 used to take crew members into the freezer and fondle their breasts. The roof and dumpster were other meeting places. Or the "if you sleep with me, I'll give you a raise." When I had solid proof of this, after many tears from my female employees, I told my DM. I even fired the AM 1, only to have his position given back to him because I just didn't like him.

My restaurant was robbed one morning. The man held my manager at gun point, the other to lie on the floor... Of course after 911 was called, I was called. In fear of my two employees, I raced to the restaurant at 5am, and after I consoled my employees, I called my DM. The first question she asked was "how much money did he get." Not "oh my God, how is everyone?" To top it all off, when I called the "Big Boss," the one in charge of the DM's, she yelled at me for 20 minutes on how I was irresponsible for leaving deposits in the safe, and she then instructed me to get the restaurant open for business immediately. I told her the two employees were leaving. They were allowed to go, but they were only to be out that day. After that, they would be fired. What bullshit. I told her what I thought of her that day. By the way, the robber got over $5000. I wasn't supposed to tell
anyone......So to make the restaurant look good, someone in management had to go. So instead of firing me, they fired the manager that worked the night before for not taking his deposit to the bank. He was a single father just making ends meet.

By this point, I am working about 80-90 hours a week making only
$19,000/year. Salary positions suck, but I did it for the kids. I really cared about these kids, and they trusted me. Something they didn't have in their lives. At home I had a husband, and a 5 year old who missed me terribly. I kept going though. I would work open to close every night. I saw my family only when my husband came in for dinner. When I asked my DM to fill in for me one day so I could get some sleep, I was told "no, I have to golf tomorrow in the morning." She always said it was my restaurant, and it was my responsibility. And, by the way, she had fired a good number of my employees. So we would run lunch and dinner on about 4 people. One manager, and 3 crew. You all know how that goes when it's busy. It's a f..... Nightmare!!!!! Needless to say, after the robbery, I was never treated the same again. The jerk who was "copping a feel in the freezer" had his job, and was moving his way into my position. The DM got a raise because she needed a new car to be able to travel to my restaurant everyday to "baby-sit." So I was demoted. They wanted me to be an AIM. I couldn't handle the restaurant she said. So I again threw my keys at her and told her to kiss my ass! By this point, my husband was ready to divorce me, my son didn't even know who I was anymore, and I was 3 months pregnant with twins. It would have been triplets, but my dr believes that the stress was too much for the third to even develop. I didn't have a job, and I went bankrupt. I almost lost my house. All because of BK........

I hardly ever eat there anymore because every time I do, I get diarrhea so bad. I certainly don't miss the DT people screaming "hello" after one-second. I don't miss the people that called me a loser because I worked for BK. I was only trying to support my family. I don't miss closing the restaurant by myself because all the employees walked out. I don't miss being robbed. I don't miss being called "hottie goldilocks." I don't miss the ignorant people who can't even lean over to hand you their money. I don't miss the old people who get pissed because you're new and don't know what f.....kind of jelly they want. I don't miss complaints about how cold the lobby is, or how loud/low the music is. I don't miss anything about fast food. The only thing I miss is my employees that were hard workers, and would have given anything for me. I gave them my all too!

There is so much more I could write, but I have to end here. I have made my point. I just wanted to say to all those people who are mad because you have this web page, please don't judge us. Most of us are people trying to feed our families just like you. No job is worth fighting and arguing over the Internet. Maybe coming from upper management, you will understand the gripes and moans of these people a little better. Fast food is not a friendly business for we all are only human.

Next time you eat at a fast food joint please remember these few things:

9 times out of 10, the person making your sandwich has recently scratched their head, wiped their nose, or didn't wash their hands after going to the bathroom. They will spit in your food if you make them mad enough. The customer is always right, but if you complain, you need to complain to the manager first. He will only apologize, refund your money, or give you coupons to come back again. If you then complain to the office people, they will probably do the same thing the manager did, only they will make it living hell for every person who is in charge of making sure that restaurant runs smoothly. In other words, people will be fired, suspended without pay, or just simply treated miserably....resulting in bitter employees. Please only complain if necessary. If you genuinely have a bad experience, then complain, but please don't complain because they are short staffed, had too much lettuce on your Whopper, or they put too much ice in your drink. Just remember what comes around goes around, and someday when this economy crashes, you might be saying "welcome to Burger King, may I take your order.
Erie, PA


I am currently a breakfast manager at Burger King in Belleville, Michigan. After reading this web page I now know that Belleville isn't the only place that has idiots.

I have wanted to make a web page called IDIOTS of the day. Looks like you have beat me to it, so now I can just come here and enjoy the things people send in and it saved me a lot of work.

The things that customers come up with kill me. I wonder sometime where people get their brains from. Must be the old Cracker Jack box thing. Here are some of my Idiots of the day.

When we were having our . 99 cent Double Cheeseburger sale a lady came though drive thru and asked how much our . 99 cent Double Cheeseburgers were. Since the Drive Thru speaker is loud enough for the whole store to hear everyone started laughing even the customers standing on front line. More then once this has happened Customers ask what comes on a Sausage Biscuit (my reply- sausage).

I have a thing about customers honking their horn in my Drive Thru I hate that more then someone saying Hello after being told I would be right with them. I am usually alone doing front cash and Drive Thru in the early morning by myself. I had a man on hold in Drive thru while I was taking front orders and while he was sitting there waiting for me to take his order there was an old woman had to be at least 70 or 80 years old behind him honking her horn. He started yelling at her to stop so I went ahead and took all the orders on front counter which I had about 5 customers and the one man in Drive Thru. I made her wait which I do to any customer that honks in my drive thru. When I finished handing out all the orders I went and took her order and the first thing she says to me is if its not to much trouble she wanted one Bacon Egg and Cheese Croissant. When she got to my window I told her if she honked in my Drive thru I would make her wait. She proceeded to tell me if I didn't have enough staff that I shouldn't be opened so I came back with if she didn't have enough time she shouldn't of stopped and she came back with F U too but of course she said the real words I said yep and walked away. ( I didn't know old woman talked like that)

The Store Manager seems to think that because it is Sunday that we are not busy, even though we have about 20 churches in the area that everyone seems to want to stop and have Burger King before and after. So that is the day of the week where there is hardly no one scheduled, which happens to be one of the days I have to open. Before I had a chance to open the doors at 7 am there were customers lined up waiting, that was just the beginning of our hell for the day. I was walking on front line taking pulls from the cash drawers and over heard two woman complaining to the other manager about the floor being all dirty with fries, bags and stuff like that which were dropped during our rush. I of course being the smart ass that I am couldn't resist stopping to make my comment. I looked at one of the woman and asked if she had planned on eating off the floor. That shut her and her friend right up. I live thru the Burger King hell everyday even though its a pain sometimes I still like my job so as I come across some of the idiots I will send more.


Tonight i celebrate my last day at taco bell, i've worked there for a year, a year of hell, a year i which a good day was one in which i didn't get yelled at by someone, a year of mind numbing drudgery, I'm celebrating by drinking myself into oblivion, a habit i picked up after working there a year, what do you do when you have the next day off? Why you drink of course. it seems appropriate that i end my career at taco bell drinking.
I started working there with as much enthusasiam as possible for the first 3 months, when ever i had a bad day i just reminded myself that i was working hard (harder then any of the other crew) and the manager would notice and i'd get a raise, well finally i had my review, i passed everything thing on the list, i showed up for work, i was in full uniform, all of that, my manager looks up at me and says well i'm afraid i've been told to not give any raises higher then 9 cents!!!!!!
9 CENTS!!!!!! I worked harder then i had ever worked before in my life and i was getting a 9 cents raise which wouldn't matter in another month because minimum wages was going up any way cant think of ant other moment in my life when i have been more insulted. after that i worked like every other crew member there, i didn't care, i just wanted it to end, but i needed the money, while at that job i was treated worse then at any other time in my life. I think every one should work 6 months at a fast food place in order to truly understand what hell is like.
People need to understand what its like, people seem to think that fast food is some how easy, that pretty much anyone can get a job there that it must be easy, ITS NOT!! If you ordered a taco easy on the lettuce and ended up with still a lot of lettuce please for the love of god don't complain. I end my career at taco bell and head off for college a few years later then all my friends, but i know one thing i will never work fast food again!!!


I'm a manager at BK. Here, everybody works their butts off. One night last week, a church group came in...about 25 people in all, with the bus driver making all the orders at once. Well, seeing that it was a large order and mahem was bound to happen, i called back to the kitchen to have several baskets of fries put down. The first lady in this group says, "i would like my fries fresh and hot"..( no ma'am..we want you to eat cold fries..thats why i had my crew cook more fries..we were saving the old shit for you!) and these "church people were sooooo rude! they left my beautiful BK just nasty! the pigs... and how many times can anyone stand and listen to same the same exact stupid -as- hell question without realizing that THEY also have to give some kind of answer...fries or rings? what to drink? would you like cheese? is this here or to go? did i ask for cheese?? nope! and you didnt ask for my foot up your ass either, pal! all this education i have, and i am still asking if they what cheese on it...grrrrr..furthermore, most people think only losers work at BK...makes me think what kind of loser THEY are for always eating here??? Everybody here are smarter than those who wander in here..humans suck.. ...thank you for letting me get this off my chest....LCG


To whom it may Concern;
I have always enjoyed Burger King until a new location opened in our community. It is convenient to our home. I am aware these are young students and adults who are training, but come on, it has been at least 6 months since this location as opened. Even my 9 yr old says they need to take lesson from Taco Bell, for quick and courteous service. The first time I ordered a Chicken Sandwich Combo w/only mayo on sandwich, WELL the sandwich was burnt. My daughter likes the chicken sandwich, instead of a hamburger. Then there was another time we stopped and ordered inside to go, and didn't even get the right order, after getting home to find the wrong items ordered after waiting for 15 minutes at the counter. Another time, we didn't have a problem with the food, but the children's play area (tunnels) had fecus and urine in them, my daughter became ill. And tonight, I went through the drive-thru, to receive the incorrect order again, bring it to the young lady's attention at the window, to correct the error. She brought another sandwich, which was wrong,(as she rolled her eyes at me). Not to hold up the people in line behind us, I pulled around to park and went inside to the manager and requested it to corrected. The manager was even rude, I made the comment of the service was terrible and when she turned around with the bag with the sandwich, she slung it across the counter to me. I just don't understand why people can't show good customer service to their quests, if it weren't for us going in their place of business, they wouldn't get a paycheck. And another thing, I feel these people handling food should wear gloves and hair nets. Yes, it may be inconvenient, but it is sanitary. They aren't concerned about that customer they are serving, they are worried about when they go on break, or if it's time for them to leave their shift. I feel that people have no morals, There is too much anger in the world today.
signed, Concerned Consumer


I started working at bk when i was 15, i got paid a shitty ass 5.50 to bust my ass and burn the hell out of my hands from those old ass fryers. i was sexually harassed by my store manager and when i complained they tried to tell me that i made it all up and completely forgot about it the next day. i was spit at and had food thrown at me numerous times, and my managers always went with the customers making me feel like an ass. in the store i was working at the managers were stealing, buying weed from the crew members, and doing drugs in the dumpster. the "office managers" were always the cool ones but they seemed to just sit on thier fucking lazy ass while we had people out the ass waiting on food b/c there was only one person in the kitchen. o well..fuck bk and everything about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls dont put my email address on there.


Well I like it where I work, everyone is nice especially the managers, they like to have fun too. But there is one employee that drives me and others absolutely crazy, I like to call him Bob the nightporter. You would understand what it is with him if you met him. Here are some of the stuff he likes to do that really annoys me:

1. He thinks he is God's gift to Burger King - he thinks he is the only one that can fix something that is broken, and when he does fix something, you have to hear about it for weeks. He also thinks he is the only one that does his job correctly. He loves to complain to people about what someone else doesn't do. Case in point, it was really busy the last hour we were open and I started cleaning the dining room late, and the trash cans were full. Well he was cleaning the frystations, and I was bringing back coffee pots to the closer. Well he ran out to the dining room and pulled out the trash cans and yelled to me, "Mike, the trashcans are not empty yet." I said back "Yeah I haven't got that far yet." Then he said, "Well it should have been done already." That is the stuff he pulls, he pretends to be the manager when he has no authority.

2. When he is mad, he lips shake - he looks like he is tasting his face.

3. Another thing he does is this, he comes to work 2 hours early and bothers the employees. Night porters are not suppose to start until we close. He likes to come early and do stuff and tell us what to do. That really irks me.

4. He really like to harrass. Here are some things he has done to me personally that makes me want to hurt him:

* My name is Mike, and he just loves to call me Mikey. He does it all the time and I hate that name, A LOT. So another employee and I staged a fight one night. She called me Mikey while he was there and I threw a bucket and told her not to call me that because I hated it. Then she pretended to get mad and walked out, and I yelled "Not to come back." It was fun and I think it worked.

* One night these girls came in and I was busy making food, and he comes back to the kitchen and says "Hey Mike look at them girls out there." I said "Yeah Bob I see." Then he said "I give them a 6." He just does stupid crap to people it drives me insane.

5. Let's put it this way, "He is one fry short of a Kid's Meal."


Morons don't just order BK, they also love pizza apparently. One of my favorites is when they say "I want a large with everything" So not wanting them to call and yell at me latter I ask if they want anchovies, pineapple and jalapenos on their pizza, they usually respond with something along the lines of, "why the hell would I want s#!t like that on my pizza?! Another good one is a drunk arse that called me and ordered food to be delivered to the bar he was drinking at, after the pizza was delivered he called back to complain that he didn't get any sauce to dip his breadsticks in. I told him that sauce doesn't come with the breadsticks and that when he ordered them I asked if he wanted sauce and he said no. So he tells me how sauce should come with breadsticks, blah blah blah, finally he says he wants an order of sauce delivered. We have a 7.00$ minimum for delivery so you'll have to order more than that, is my reply, he then proceeds to tell me that I'm un-American, (didn't know that sauce for crazy bread was an American right) He then started cussing at me so I hung up on him. Great thing about my boss, I was told if someone cusses at me I'm aloud to hang up on them, that really pisses people right off, when they're already mad about something they're to stupid to understand and then you hang up on them. the first thing they'll do is call right back and say, "why the F*** did you hang up on me", only to get hung up on again, and again, and again, did it to one guy 5 times before he gave up.


Shortly after I turned 16, I desperately avoided the lure of the easy money and nil job skills required in the fast-food business. Finally I succumbed (due to parental prodding and budgetary desperation) to flipping burgers at a fast-food place named Carl’s Jr.

The interview, as expected, was a mere formality. I was immediately stationed at a burger assembly line where I could remain in constant motion elbow-deep in mayonnaise and cranking out standardized food units at rapid fire. Bun, sauce, pickle, patty. Bun, sauce, pickle, patty. Bun, sauce, pickle, patty. Bun, lobotomy, pickle, patty. Thankyousirhaveanicedaypleasecomeagainsoon.


After several miserable shifts, I came to admire the poise of a fry cook named Chris, an enormous, boneless doofus who had perfected the art of
reclining to the point that in repose he appeared to be actually sitting on his shoulder blades.

Standing well over six feet and easily 230 pounds, Chris was a relaxation professional. He would have the entire bank of fryers packed with searing potato starch, with a finely calculated margin of about 15 seconds before every electronic beeper on his board went berserk with the same urgency as NORAD detecting an inbound from Siberia. He would take this brief opportunity to narrow his eyes to slits, fluff up a comfortable plastic-coated wall, lean his huge frame against the resulting semi-soft surface and cut all neural ties to his muscles for the few moments he had until DEFCON-1 required his presence above the boiling grease.

Chris’s method seemed to be a cool breath of sanity among the heat, grease and infernal chaos of a modern fast-food operation. I took to emulating his approach with little success at first. Every time I would achieve the proper repose, a "Boovin" would tell me to get to work - "If you have time to lean, you have time to clean!" Arguments of pending timer chaos fell on deaf ears.

Years ago after much observation I came to the conclusion that fast-food managers, "Boovins" if you will, are made not born. They are the twisted spawn of genetic engineering, raised in the dank recesses of abandoned burger restaurants with all normal human responses diligently weeded out by the Skinner method in favor of the bottom line. They are then sold by the pound in colorful cellophane-wrapped cardboard boxes labelled “Management Units” to the wholesale market. The simultaneous rise of recombinant DNA technology and the popularity of fast food is, I believe, no coincidence. Cloning is costly, and an army of Hitlers has
to pay for itself somehow. Why not at minimum wage?

After one particularly brutal night, Chris and I struck up a conversation based upon our mutual enjoyment of cheap, illegally purchased beer and an obscure local rock band, and ended up reclining in my van partaking of both and discussing sanity strategy.


The art of Judo dictates that one uses one’s enemy’s own strength to defeat him; ultimately he defeats himself. The harder one’s opponent works, the more effective one’s own strategy is. I never understood this idea on a visceral level until I talked to Chris. His recommendation was not to argue with the Boovin but to simply do what he instructed: when you were off wiping the bathroom walls or some other shit job, DEFCON-1 was their problem, not yours. Epiphany! Chris and I began a long-term friendship out of this elementary concept which enabled me to deal with Boovins on their own level. Clean the floor drains? right away, sir! wipe the bathroom walls? Nothing could giveme greater pleasure!

....BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPMIKEWHERETHEHELLAREYOUBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!!

What a sweet, sweet sound.

"Yes sir, just a moment sir, gotta wash my hands sir, health department rules, you know, sir!" It doesn't take many instances of DEFCON-1 before the Boovins start leaving you the hell alone during your 15 or 30 second sanity break. They will get pissed... they will get severely, screamingly, red faced, bang-to-the-knees, spin-the-head-in-circles-and-vomit-pea-soup pissed - because there's not a damned thing they can do. Write you up for insubordination? You cheerfully and immediately did exactly what they asked, my friend.


Hello there,

I am just writing to tell you that I love your site. I will have worked at BK for 2 years this September and I feel your pain. I've lost about 30 pounds and have been on acne medication during my time working there. To make matters worse, my manager is a racist Puerto Rican so there are only a few whites working there, and no blacks, even though I see them apply all of the time. Not to mention the fact that nearly half of our staff can barely speak English, including one assistant manager. The other assistant manager is an extremely perverse homosexual (his name tag says Ass. Manager) whom I have seriously considered pressing harassment charges against. And our shift coordinaters are all rednecks too dumb to count to 20 without taking off their shoes. But I will have revenge. Right now I am actively seeking employment. A few of us are planning on quitting around the same time and demolishing the store on our way out. So far our list of pranks includes:

-exchanging all of the cleaning chemicals with syrup, sauce, etc.

-freezing some of the boxes in the freezer to the walls or ceiling if possible

-piling up the burger, whopper and fry boxes in front of/behind the walk-in door

-open up all of the mayo and a few boxes of whoppers on the roof to give it a nice rancid smell

-rewire drive thru to play our local country station
-caulk the bottom of the office door and convert the office into an aquarium
-play hide and seek with pieces of the broiler
-throw a bucket of ice/pickles into the friers
-dump out all of the salt in drive thru, even though we are in Florida and that isn't really necessary
-see how high we can stack the chairs, and then see how many parking spots they would fall in
-put up police tape around the entire perimeter and rig up some cheap red and blue flashing lights, maybe drop a bag of ketchup from the roof just for kicks and
leave a suicide note from the porter
-'remove' a car from the autobody shop next door and leave it in drive thru

Basically, everybody picks one of the above. I would appreciate any suggestions you can give me. Oh, and before I forget check this out:

2000 Sales (mil.): $1,427.0
2000 Employees: 28,432

By my calculations, they could give everybody a $7 an hour raise and it would eat up less than half of that. But, I guess I shouldn't tell you something you don't
already know.

Best Regards,

John

P.S. I know this goes without saying, but if you post
this, leave my e-mail address and full name out.
Thanks.


From Des Plaines ILL

I agree with your web-site. My family purchased shakes from a Des Plaines location. Two of the shakes were sour and bad. My wife asked for the money back and the clerk refused her. She asked to see a manager and the girl did not speak English. The next day I went to the same location and this manager did not speak English. I thought it was a requirement to speak English in the USA. We never received our money back for the two bad sour milk shakes. I am now working with the board of health to have them shut down.

American speaking citizen



As a driver-thru employee at BK, I was recently treated to what I can only describe as body orfice day, Dealing with all the regular crap is bad enough, but this day was a real winner. Early in the morning I had a very large lady with a tank top drive-thru. As she pulled up to my window, her left hand was scratching under her arm pit as she tried to manuver towards my window, with her right hand only. As she reached for her beverage, and then her bag, I could only think to myself "Please don't let her touch me with that hand. Please!!!" If she had made contact I probably would have screamed. The same day I had another customer pick their ear, and then reach out to get their food. Gross!!!! The nose picker was the end of the line. After he pulled away I went into the kitchen and started laughing until I cried. Thank goodness by then my shift was almost up. And thank God none of them touched my hand with thier creepy crawly hands!
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