-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITTEN BY Melissa Good -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DIRECTED BY Denise Byrd -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PRODUCED BY Carol Stephens -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SCREENGRABS Judi Mair -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARTWORK Lucia -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EPISODE TITLE GRAPHIC MaryD --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FADE IN: EXT. VERY DUSTY ROAD - LATE AFTERNOON It’s a dark, and threatening to be stormy night. Xena and Gabrielle are walking up yet another in a long series of uneven wagon tracks at the end of yet another in a long series of endless days. Xena kicks a rock ahead of her. Gabrielle is practicing juggling, using three small pinecones. Argo II ambles along behind them. GABRIELLE Want to try making a tree house tonight? Xena boots the rock further head. XENA Tree house? GABRIELLE Yeah, you know, like we saw those monkeys do that one time. Just something different for a change.

XENA Are you saying my campfires are boring? Gabrielle juggles in silence. XENA (cont’d) Gabrielle? Gabrielle tosses Xena a pinecone. Xena catches it, then tosses it back. They start juggling between them. GABRIELLE You're the one who's always saying you need variety. Xena collects all three pinecones. She tosses them over her head into the forest, and joins Gabrielle in the center of the road. XENA How about we play monkey some other day? There's a seaside town just up this road. She pauses and looks up. XENA (cont’d) With those clouds, I'd rather be under a roof. Gabrielle perks up. GABRIELLE Yeah. I'd really like something softer than... um.... Xena drapes her arm over Gabrielle's shoulders. XENA Than? Gabrielle pats various parts of Xena's anatomy, then she starts whistling. GABRIELLE Hey, you threw away my pinecones. XENA Thought you were done with ‘em. Gabrielle frowns GABRIELLE Hey, I'm getting the hang of that. I think spending time in your body rubbed off on me. XENA Hmm. Still can't smell the water, huh?

Gabrielle makes a face. GABRIELLE That part of being in your body I don't miss. XENA (mock insulted) Ah hah. Any part you do miss? Gabrielle looks at Xena, and then smirks. CUT TO: EXT. SLEEPY NONDESCRIPT SEASIDE TOWN - SUNDOWN The sky is now filling with storm clouds, almost obscuring the sunset. However, it makes for a beautiful show over the water. Gabrielle watches it as they walk towards the entrance to the town. GABRIELLE Isn't it beautiful?

XENA Not to a sailor. Gabrielle pauses. Xena comes to stand next to her. The wind rises, and blows their hair back as they watch the sun turn the waves crimson. GABRIELLE Then I'm glad I'm not a sailor. Xena clasps Gabrielle's shoulder. They turn and walk through the town gates. The place seems mostly deserted. A chicken runs across the road in front of them, and several seagulls wheel overhead. XENA Quiet. GABRIELLE Yeah. There are small huts scattered throughout the village. Fishing nets hang to dry in front of many of them, but others seem empty and deserted. An empty market faces the waterfront, with only a couple of boxes and a sheaf of forgotten straw inside it. Argo II's hooves sound very loud on the dirt road. Near the end of the town, a small building stands, single story, but with several rooms stuck off at odd angles in different directions. A door opens in the front and a man hurries out, spotting them and rushing forward. XENA Wonder if that's a good sign? GABRIELLE Guess we'll find out. The man reaches them. MAN Welcome travelers! Welcome! GABRIELLE (aside) So far so good.

XENA Thanks. We're looking for a place to stay for.... MAN A room? A room for the night? Oh, yes! Yes, we have one! We have several.... We have big ones, and a small one. Won't you come with me - I'm sure we can make you very, very comfortable! Xena and Gabrielle exchange glances. GABRIELLE Sure. That sounds great. Thanks! The man leads them towards the single story building, turning to watch them follow every few steps, his expression almost anxious. CUT TO: INT. TOWN INN - EVENING Thunder rumbles overhead, shaking the walls a little. Xena and Gabrielle relax at a table, the only table occupied in the entire inn. They have the place to themselves. GABRIELLE It's... um.... XENA Quiet. GABRIELLE Yeah. XENA I like it. Xena takes a drink from her mug. The innkeeper enters and hurries over. INNKEEPER Well, well, everything all right? GABRIELLE Just fine. Did you say something about a room? INNKEEPER Yes! Oh, yes. I have a wonderful, a beautiful room for you. (pausing) And.... And.... XENA Yes? The innkeeper looks a little nervous as he listens to the rain. INNKEEPER Since you’re my first customers tonight, I've got a special deal for you. Xena peers at the empty room, then looks at the innkeeper skeptically. XENA First customers? Only customers, I'd bet.

GABRIELLE Shh, Xena. (to innkeeper) What's the deal? INNKEEPER Our famous thermal mud bath! I'll throw it in for free! Xena and Gabrielle look at each other. GABRIELLE Mud bath? XENA You charge for a mud bath? I can go outside and have a dozen of em, for nothing. The innkeeper laughs nervously. INNKEEPER No no.... This is special mud. It's great for your complexion! He looks from Gabrielle to Xena. INNKEEPER (cont’d) Enhances your beauty? C'mon. It's great stuff! Xena scratches her jaw line. GABRIELLE (peering at Xena) Do you have a complexion? Xena's eyebrows hike upward. XENA What the Hades. I'll try anything. She glances at a smirking Gabrielle. XENA (cont’d) Almost. INNKEEPER I'll get everything ready! You won't regret this! The innkeeper leaves. Xena and Gabrielle finish off the light meal on the table before them. The quietness of the room is almost oppressive. Only the patter of rain interrupts it. GABRIELLE Does this place seem a little creepy to you?

Xena shrugs. XENA What's creepy for us? Gabrielle bites into an apple thoughtfully. GABRIELLE Hmph. She offers the apple to Xena. GABRIELLE (cont’d) Wffnt smef? Xena leans over and takes a bite. CUT TO: INT. INN ROOM - NIGHT Thunder now really shakes the building. The candles quiver. Shutters slap against the walls. The room is large, relatively plain, and has a huge tub in the center of it. Inside the tub Xena is seated, buried up to her neck in mud. The expression on her face speaks volumes. Gabrielle enters. She circles the tub twice, then leans on it. GABRIELLE You know, Xena....

XENA Don't say it. Don't think it. Or else. Gabrielle scoops a finger full of the mud and examines it. GABRIELLE It's not really even muddy. It's more like.... XENA Pudding. GABRIELLE Yeah. XENA That's it. I'm outta here. Xena gets out of the tub. She is covered from head to foot in the gelatinous gook. She steps out of the mud creating a sucking sound and shakes her foot loose of several globs. XENA (cont’d) Great. Just great.

Gabrielle is trying to stifle laughter. Xena wipes the back of her hand across her face, getting mud on her lips. XENA (cont’d) Pah… ugh.... eh? Xena licks her lips. Her expression alters. Gabrielle approaches her curiously. GABRIELLE What? XENA Mm. That's not bad. Gabrielle dabs a bit of mud from Xena's skin and sniffs it. Cautiously, she tastes it. Intrigued, she nudges Xena towards the bed. GABRIELLE It's all over you.

XENA Yeah. I'll have to go out in the rain to get it off. Gabrielle starts to grin. GABRIELLE It's.... Sweet. (pausing) I think I like it. Slowly, Gabrielle pushes Xena down on the bed, then climbs up and straddles Xena as she lays flat on her back. XENA What are you doing? Gabrielle sheds her sleeping shirt and wiggles her fingers, a diabolical grin on her face. GABRIELLE Having dessert.

The storm intensifies outside. Far off, the sound of a sea bell is heard, but its tone is nearly washed away by a peal of thunder.  Xena reaches over and snuffs the candle, grinning as Gabrielle leans over her.

In the darkness, the bell sounds again. FADE OUT. END OF TEASER