My mother told me when I was 3 months old I was in the hospital with a double Lung infection and my ears were so infected they had to be lanced twice. The doctors were sure I was going to die; this was in 1941 and Penicillin was not yet in use. Mom went to the Chapel and placed her wedding rings at the foot of the stature of OUR LADY ( we are Catholics). Mom was asking the Blessed Mother to ask her SON, Jesus, to spare my life and let me grow up healthy. Her prayers were answered, I got better and was able to be taken home with in that week.

There was a problem though that has existed through out my childhood into adulthood. I would constantly have very bad colds & terrible bouts with Bronchitis. In those day mom used "Mustard Plasters" (home made with dry mustard & I don't know what else), she would place these on my chest and they did work at drawing out the infections in my Lungs. So Mustard Plasters & Vicks were two things I knew very well.

It was only much later in life when I was told I had "COPD" that I was told every time I came down with these two diseases that the doctor told me that each time I was sick scare tissue was forming on my lungs. Then I found out that there is a Gene that can be carried over to next generations within the family; my grandma died from"COPD'; they just didn't have a name for it at the time. One day I realized that this was the disease grandma had as I was a nurse and took care of her when she was very sick; I saw the x-rays that showed all the fluid in her Lungs, I was the one giving her the breathing treatments and medications that I now use myself. Grandma used 02 at this time also. It was when I found myself going through the same things grandma went through that I have the same disease.

There was a problem that I was unaware of at the time that increased my getting "COPD'; my dad started smoking the day I was born and didn't stop smoking until the day he was told he had Kidney cancer. It was very hard for him to stop smoking. Mom told me dad would be going through the motions of smoking in his sleep. Dad never had "copd" though, the cancer hit his Kidney, and then, in time it spread through out his body including his lungs; still, we had no awareness of "copd".

When I went to school to become a nurse every student in my class was smoking except me, so I thought I wanted to be like everyone else; at that time there were no "warnings" on the packs of cigarettes. It was only later after I was very hooked that these warnings came out, and I thought " I won't get sick."

Then one day I got a very bad cold that turned into Bronchitis as an adult , married, with two children at the time that this hit me very hard. My friend insisted I go to the "ER" because she notices that I was turning blue and my breathing was so bad; still on the way to the "ER' I thought it was just another bout of Bronchitis, I would just get some medication, return home with the medication and in time I would be find. Wrong!!

When I entered the "ER" they took me right away; I just couldn't understand what all the fuss was about until they had given me two breathing treatment, which I had never had before, and I was not getting better that I started to wonder what was going on with me. They started calling me "The Blue Lady." Still I didn't understand what was happening.

I wanted to go home, just give me some medication and I'll be fine is what I kept saying until my doctor came into my room and told me I had "COPD" and my response to him was "What's that?" Remember now I was a nurse and had never heard that term used. I still want to leave the hospital. the doctor told me if I left the hospital I would surely die. My first time in the hospital which was this time, they kept me for 15 days.

One day while I was there it dawned on me that I must really be sick because they do not keep people in the hospital that long any more unless you are very sick. It was the first time I ever had an 02 mask on my face, and I have had one since that time.

The doctor informed me that there was no cure for this disease and in time it would just get worse and worse; it took me time to accept this fact. Since that time I have made 6 trips to the "ER" and went with a packed bag because I knew I was not returning home that same day.

I just started having a bag packed that I set aside in case I would need to run to the "ER" again. Yes, the doctor told me there was no cure, but he didn't tell me is was going to start affecting other organs in my body, like my Heart; I already had a Hyadial Hernia which was very large and pressing on my lungs.

He didn't tell me this disease was going to creep up on me when I wasn't looking and found that, what felt like all of a sudden, there were things I could no longer do; that I would get "Congestive Heat Failure. On top of that I now have very bad degenerative Arthritis that has stopped me from being able to drive a car, and need to walk with a cane. These diseases just seem to come on me a little at a time, or so I thought.

When I realized how sick I was I became terrified and thought I was going to die very quickly and someone set me up with a WEBTV", now I have a computer that my son built for me. Then I started looking for groups or information about this "COPD" that was changing my life. That's when I found the "COPD-Support" group and lots of wonderful people who held my hand, listened to my fears, and calmed my nerves about all of this. It is this group of people who have informed me about this disease better then any doctor has done. It is within this group that I really learned what "COPD" is all about. On top of that I have made some wonderful friends that I would never have met if it were not for me getting this disease and finding real support from others who truly know how I feel because they have the same disease.

I have made such great friends with in the group that when it was time for them to leave this world and go to the LORD, I cried my eyes out from the loss of their company; they had become like a second family for me;the fact is these people understand me better then my family does because they know what I am going through. Family of origin can say they know, but they really don't; they don't have "COPD".

Today, I move much slower then I ever did, I get short of breath sometimes when I am doing the little things I used to just take for granted before I became sick. I use 02 24/2 and now a Bi-PAP machine for Sleep Apnea, which I didn't have before I got sick.

I want to close this letter by saying, no, I am not happy I have "COPD", No, I am not happy I need to use 02 and take breathing treatment 3 times a day and use inhalers, no, I am not happy that this disease has slowed me down, but I am happy and grateful for all the wonderful people and friends I have made, some of them living in other countries. My faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ is stronger then it ever was in the passed; I know He carries me through all of this; He brought wonderful people into my life, and He will see me through every step of this journey. I am grateful for all the wonderful gifts The Lord has given to me. My faith is in the love of Jesus.

Thank you for reading this and I pray that someone else who might be in fear because they just found out they have "COPD' will know that there can be life after this disease hits your body.

God Bless,
Donna