Stuff

*NEW* FUN LIST!
This is just some of my favorite quotes, jokes and other stuff. Click to jump!

personal quotes class quotes theroies
"Great minds discuss ideas, avarge minds discuss events, small minds discuss people"
"Work like you don't need the money, love as if you've never been hurt, and DANCE as if no one is watching!"
"Live everyday as it's your last"
"The one who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear"
"Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end"
"The hardest thing you can do is watch the one you love, love somebody else"
"1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given†"
"A writer's work, if it speaks at all, speaks for him."-Frank O'Rourke
"Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's warmth."(compliments of graham)
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."- Robert Frost
"Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do- can love things that no one else can love" - Barbara Sher
"Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." -Scott Adams
A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.-Henry Adams
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Catherine Aird
"If at first you don't succeed, you are running about average." -M.H Alderson
"Christ has turned all our sunsets into dawns." -Clement of Alexandria
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
“With women the heart argues not the mind.”-Matthew Arnold
"Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use Words." -St. Francis of Assisi
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life" -Red Auerbach
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a persepective, not the truth." -Marcus Aurelius
"Oh no I've gone cross-eyed." -Austin PowersAustin Powers
"You’re the diet coke of evil. Just 1 calorie! Not evil enough!" -Dr. EvilAustin Powers
"Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive it isn't." -Richard Bach
"Love takes off mask we fear we cannot live with out and know we cannot live within." -James Baldwin
“The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.”-DaveBarry
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." -Hector Berlioz
"When I stand before God at at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'" -Erma Bombeck
"The test of the morallty of a society is what it does for its children" -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -Victor Borge
"He says one thing and means another. He’s a hypochondriac!" -Shawn, Boy Meets World
“don’t move, maybe he doesn’t see us”-Shawn, Boy Meets World
"Life is a grindstone; whether it grinds you down or polished you up depends on what you're made of." -Jacob M. Braude
"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
"An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way." -Charles Bukowsky
"I could be the walrus, I'd still have to bum rides off people." -Ferris Buller
"It's on European socialism. I mean really, what’s the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialist? They could be fascist anarchist. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't have a car." -Ferris Buller
"You think i'm gorgeous. You want to kiss me. You want to hug me. you want to love me..." -Sandra Bullock "Miss. Congeniality"
"Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath." -Michael Caine
"Dreams, ideas and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on." -Steven Patrick Callahan
"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do something to love, and something to hope for." -Allank Chalmers
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -Sir Winston Churchill
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." -Tom Clancy
“Be kind and considerate with your criticism. . . . It's just as hard to write a bad book as it is to write a good book.”-Malcom Cowley
"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is a little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset." -Blackfoot Crowfoot warrior and orator
"Have no fear of perfection- you'll never reach it" -Salvador Dali
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." -James Dean
“Reality is that which when you stop believing it doesn’t go away.”-Philip K.Dick
"We spent the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 telling them to sit town and shut up." -Phyllis Diller
"Therefore, you shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, and with all your strength." -Dt. 6:5†
“A barn?” “Is it red?” “no” “Then it’s not a Barn!”-Jesse and ChesterDude Where’s my Car
“This is creepy!” “It looks like a country music video”-Jesse and ChesterDude Where’s my Car
" I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Alva Edison
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." -Albert Einstein
“It’s never too late to be what you might have been”-George Eliot
"Only those who risk going too far can possible find out how far one can go." -T.S. Elliot
"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded" -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it." -Henry.Ford Sr
"To accomplish great things we must dream as well as act." -Anatole France
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves." -From 'The Wisdom of Will Rogers'
"Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat." -Robert Frost
“Where there is love there is life”-Mahatma Gandhi
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”-Mahatma Gaundi
"Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them."-Ralph Gerard
"Be yourself, who else is better qualified?"-Frank J Giblin
"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs...one step at a time." -Joe Girard
"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty" -Sacha Guitry
"I am sick and tired of being sick and tired." -Fannie Lou Harner
"In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these." -Paul Harvey
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."-Ernest Hemingway
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”-Ernest Hemingway
"Don't ever slam the door; you might want to go back" -Don Herold
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?" -Rabbi Hillel
"It's easy to be independent when you've got money. But to be independent when you haven't got a thing -- that's the Lord's test."-Mahalia Jackson
"The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper." -Thomas Jefferson
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you." -Jeremiah 1:5†
"Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." -Erica Jong
"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases" -Carl Jung
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." -Robert F. Kennedy
"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" -Eugene Kennedy
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid"-Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." -Martin Luther King Jr.
“There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." -W.M. Lewis
"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."- C.S. Lewis
“Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.” -C.S.Lewis
"As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy." -Abraham Lincoln
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln
"The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just." -Abraham Lincoln
“If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”-Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"If, at first, you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment." -Los Angeles Times
"Woe to you when all speak well of you, for their ancestors treated the false prophets in this way." -Luke 6:26†
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you got it made.”-Groucho Marx
"People ask you for criticism, but they only want praise." -W. Somerset Maugham
"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories." -Terry McKay, An Affair to Remember
“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.”-H.L. Mencken
"I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive." -Henry Miller
"Life is a foreign language: all men mispronounce it." -C. Morley
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Teresa
"IF you judge people, you have not time to love them." -Mother Theresa
"And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather, be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in Gehenna." -Mt 10:28†
"No one really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." -Cynthia Nelms
"If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask someone else first." -Nirvana, "Milk it"
"A beautiful lady is a accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art." -Louis Nizer
"I only require three things of a man. That he be handsome, ruthless, and stupid." -Dorothy Parker
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”-DorothyParker
"You know that children are growing up then they start asking questions that have answers." -John J. Plomp
"Computers of the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, 1949
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”-JohnPowell
"So why should the people listen to you?" "Because unlike other robin hoods, I can speak with an English accent" -Robin HoodRobin Hood Men in Tights
“There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not.”-LaRochefoucauld
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt
“Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t now and I don’t care.”-WilliamSafire
“The fact that some geniuses where laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.”-CarlSagan
"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead." -Scottish Proverb
“Love all, trust few”-WilliamShakespeare, All’s Well that Ends Well
“We have seen better days.” -WilliamShakespeare, Timon of Athens
"Reality is Wrong. Dreams are for real." -Tupac Shakur
"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation." -George Bernard Shaw
“Life does not cease to be funny when people die anymore then it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”-George BernardShaw
"The work of the individual still remains the spark that moves mankind forward."- Igor Sikorsky
“Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except for the weasel.” -Homer Simpson
“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”-Thomas Sowell
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." -Jordan Taylor
"You walk up to somebody and say, 'I wanna cover you in barbeque sauce and work you like a rib!!' It's kind of like- they're like, I don't *think* so. I think I'm walking out now, thanks, nice to talk to ya...." -Jordan Taylor on pick up lines
"Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides." -Margaret Thatcher
"Ohh look a scary tree!!"-Emperor, The Emperor's New Groove
"Oh, that wasn't the first time I was thrown out of a window and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel!" -Old Man, The Emperor's New Groove
"Death cannot stop true love, just delay it awhile." -The Princess Bride
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -Lily Tomlin
"We ought never do wrong when people are looking." -Mark Twain
"The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money." - Mark Twain
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage." -Lao-Tzu
"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once" -Jinnifer Unlimited
"Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the hell you went." -John Updike "Rabbit At Rest"
"On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat." -Remedios Varo
“He who is only wise lives a sad life.”-Voltaire
“Literature is the immortality of speech.”-August WilhemlmVon Schlegel
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe its that it has never tried to contact us." -Bill Watterson in the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes (Thanks Donnie)
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." -Darrin Weinberg
“Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.”-H.G. Wells
“I used to be Snow White -- but I drifted.”-Mae West
"The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last." -Oscar Wilde
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
"America is not anything if it consists of each of us. It is something only if it consists of all of us."-Woodrow Wilson

Personal quotes

(Friends quotes included)

"Sun mon dues!"
"Your Puck-a-lious!"
"Want some hot butt-er?"
"Guys can be dorks BUT ya gotta love them!!"
"Take veterinary science and culinary, at least if you can't help it you can cook it."-Darryl Holiday
"Any Questions, Comments, Smart @$$ remarks?"-André duBroc
"It's all part of our plan!"-me and Laura's phrase
"I Wanna Be The Granddaddy!"-Stephine
"REDRUM! REDRUM!"(yes I know it is not MY personal quote, but it is an inside joke)
"This is the largest library where you can ACTUALLY CHECK OUT BOOKS!"(I'm not lying a tour guide in Chicago told us that it was hilarious!)
"We have fire escapes because we have fires."(she said that too!)
"Say my name Eddie" -Claire
"Hi Suzie!"(I don't actually know anyone by the name of Suzie)
"Wanna be a cornflake, big cheesecake. 20 inch ribs only on my dinner plate."- we collaborated this before winter formal last year when "wanna be a ballar" was very popular. What can i say we are crazy.
"Don't let anybody put hay down your shirt, you'll smell like a cow." -Jesse Bergeron after youth conference 2001, don't ask.
"So Chad are you going to work tonight"(long story)

"No trustpassers will be violated."-ok I was tired after a long day of school and I thought the sign acctually said that, well for the moment, come on I was tired!!!
"Keep your mind on the matter" -Mr. Harrelson (I can't believe I almost forgot that one!!!!)
"If you want me to fall for you, you have to give me something worth tripping over." - I got that one from someone off a site(but i don't know them).
"Pancakes!" (compliments of Robert)
"9 o'clock is a good hour!" -Marrianne on the New Orleans trip
"Are you in or out of the club?" are you?!?! a quote from jamaica
"We are honoring Mary, we are Honoring. We are honoring Mary, never worship-er!" -a "song" from sister pravincia(sp?) about how catholic's honor Mary.
"whoa there is actually glass at the bottom of a glass bottom boat." -Evan (he thought "glass bottom" was the name of the company!)
"no evan, you can not get to mars on an airplane" - airplane kinda slipped out but it sounded really funny! he really ment spaceship
Things that will never mean the same thing again:: "I wanna take a cold shower" Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwichs
"Glenn do you have enough air in there?!?!" -Jason, joking about how we were going to take one of the campers home with us!
"Today's preparation makes for tomorrow's su-ccess" our school motto as said by mr. willliams (Mr. Williams)"well students we are now into our second week of school." (christy)"Thank you Captian Obvious!"
"This is a count of warm bodies. Count only the ones present and alive." -another quote from Mr. Williams "I'm gonna change in the parking lott" -J.P. (don't ask)
"the hott seat is open" -me and claire the creaters of the hott seat
"i'm deformed i have two"- ok i'm not going to incriminate the creator of this quote
"even if it is with Jill!"- if you want more background on this quote email me!
"we still need to draw up a contract!"
"you are WRONG"
"ahh kiss it." -Laura, during marid gras..we were tired and getting annoyed...
"'Pay the rent, Pay the rent.' 'I can't pay the rent'..." - Laura..she was trying to explain this guy that would come to their elementary school...
"You know your a bead neck if..." -Drew, Laura, Erica, and I after me and drew's necks got stained by some pink beads
"wow, first trent is human, then he has a twin brother, next we're married to them, and now we're sisters....this has gotten way too deep." -Laura on our discussion on if Trent, from daria, were human...trent rocks! haha
"uh oh white girls got rythem!" -André duBroc
ME: "Adam why are we taking advanced math 2 again?" ADAM: "Cause we're masochist" ME: "Ah well that makes sense seeing as we're both gonna be drama majors..."
"it's somthing in physics that says if you have something going this way and something going(points with right hand) this way you must have somthing going this way. but if you have somthing else it is the left hand!" -jenay..yes i know very random!
"he was huge! like 6 foot 12 or somthing!" -kimberly...she speaks really fast and it just slipped out...i do it all the time...but it sure is funny!
Mike:"yea, but there's a financial part to worry about, we need people who pay money" Me: "yeah i know...but remember how mother teresa was...trust in God he will bring the people." Mike: "amen" Mike:"they just better have $10"
Matt D.: "So are you a tree hugger?"( Me: "Why yes i am" Matt D.: "Well what if i told you i was a tree?"(
"I wanna pimp with connor!" -Paul A.
"Where's my hand" -Connor
(after i placed up random smilies on aim Mike responed)"emotions all over the place in 30 seconds or less. Zero to 60 emotions in 4 seconds. it's a new sign for our apartment: typical girl: 0-60 emotions 4.0 seconds"
"Boys are icky...eat cake!" -Christie Pitre
"Casey, Mike and Ian have game"- in a monk chant- Casey, Mike and Ian
"Casey, Mike and Ian are lame. Casey, Mike and Ian have no shame. Casey, Mike and Ian have no game"- "some" girls in response
Chad: "Dude, your not suppose to hold it" Ian:"If i don't hold it, it'll fall" Chad: "I think that's the point of the game" -In reference to Truth or Dare Jenga
"You will be dead by summer!" -Jonathan B. in Chicago
"If we were lesbians I'd be the man of the relationship. No you know directions- you'd be the man." -Jessica H. while walking down Michigan ave.
"The scream of the squid...ahhhh"- that doesn't do that quote justice. ask Blake W. to do that for ya.
"Don't Follow!" -this lady told this to her teenage (15-17) daughter as we were crossing at a don't walk signal in chicago....there were no cars coming!
"Like Superman!"- Blake W. ok we saw this performance and after the performance one of the actors said it was an easy transition between 2 of his characters because for one he wore glasses and the other he takes them off...then Blake blerted this out...
"So, what was this play about?!?" this old man who watched this play asked that to the actors after the show. The sad part is...everyone was thinking the same thing. It was perfect.
anyone: "What time is it?" Blake W.: "Time to get ill"



Class quotes
Philosophy
"standard preface!" -mr. barber
mr. barber: "Why did it say 'Let no man enter here without a knowledge of geometry' on top of The Academy?" Tareka: "Maybe because it's the circle of life"
mr. barber: "They have suggested and aerial spraying of Prozac over schools" Meredith: "Doesn't it take a while for Prozac to kick in?" mr. barber: "It was a joke"
"If you do nothing for a year or more but 'move' in a circle and think about yourself, people will be drawn to you. Therefore you will be perfect. haha" -me on how you can be like aristotle's unmoved mover
"We're not sure exactly what we are doing, but if we don't someone else will"-a professor at LSU said that. Mr. Barber wrote it down word for word
"An ex friend of mine was an alcholic. You could smoke around him, he'd just go up in flames."- Mr. Barber
"Every thing else is gravy! I like that!"-Mr. Barber
" Theory of the edge, and the relationship to it : Nuts!" -Mr. Barber(can you tell by now it is an interesting class?)
"Make the world a better place for ourselves and our grandkids will inherate it." -Mr. Barber -wow it was meaningfull!
"The SF theory- sucking face" -Renee -mr. barber's favorite phrase "sucking face"
"It is a story. If you over analysis it, it does seem to die out." -Mr. Barber
"Id- the spice of life!" -Mr. Barber
"for sex ed to be learned...should it be a lab?" -Mr. Barber "Wow that gives a whole new meaning to the word 'lab partner'!" -Sarah



Camping trip quotes
"Shooting star pinball"
"It's a shooting star." "No its a firefly!"
"The most important thing is balance!"- Corey
"Its a crop circle that's a semi-circle that doesn't have crops"- i must have said this i'm the only dufus to say something like that!
"If I find Jesus I'll tell you"- James response to find a Jesus constellation.
"I'm not white. I'm mother of pearl." that must have been stephanie
The many "weed" jokes
"i'm draped in weed"
"I'm rolled in weed"
"I gave krista weed i got from the lady of the lake"

Theories

2001 copyright beccasgalaxy@yahoo.com