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Personal My Story and Opinions |
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This page is a great help in my efforts to accept myself for who I am. Here I can be myself, free from the expectations of my family and friends. The things that I put here help to satisfy my need to express my feelings as a gay man.
Being over 50 years old I think it is time to start making life choices based on what I really think and not what I know others think that I should think. This convoluted way of making decisions has brought me to where I am today, married to a woman who deserves more than a lie, father to 2 kids and worried about how this will affect them and wondering how I will live the remainder of my life. |
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In 1967 there were so many people telling me what I wanted out of life. Having a fundamentalist religious home, the gay lifestyle was condemmed as perversion. My desire to have a career as an artist was discouraged because it would take too much time away from spiritual pursuits. I certainly didn't want to disappoint my mother or my congregation. I was assured by the elders that if I had homosexual tendencies they would pass with prayer and faith. Now almost 40 years later, I can say with certainty that they will not pass. My feelings toward these well meaning counselors is summed up in a verse by Paul Simon, "Get these mutts away from me. I don't find this amusing anymore." |
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One of the things that I got some flack for was my work in the theatre. In Houston Texas there is a wonderful company called Theatre Under The Stars (TUTS). Their production of South Pacific in l974 was my first experiance with live theatre. I volunteered my services to illustrate the covers of their programs just to be a part of the fun. This began a long relationship with them behind the scenes as well as on stage as part of the chorus line. You can see some photos from this era by clicking on "Backstage with TUTS" here below. |
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High School, Class of '67 |
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Click here to go
Backstage
with TUTS |
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A few covers that I illustrated for TUTS. |
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In Austin I have finally come out to myself and to certain family members and friends. I can't regret having married or having children. My family is my greatest accomplishment! Now I have to find a way to be myself. I'm beginning to find clubs and organizations locally and on the net that offers support for guys in my position. It makes one sympathize with those men who went before us, who had to live out their lives in an environment, with regards to being gay, similar to Nazi Germany.
Forty years of pretending is enough! It's too much of an effort to conform to other's expectations, you just can't keep it up forever, but I will apologize to my wife until the day that I die.
To continue this little story go to my next page.
If you are ever in Austin Join me at a Heart of Texas Bears event. For a look at their calendar of events click on the link below. |
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Click on the page of your choice |
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Bear Rex as Cub Rex |
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On to the Art Gallery |
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