Before

We'd assumed it was just the beginning for us. Once we'd found our way to one another's arms, having been in each other's hearts much longer, we took our time exploring the ways we fit together--our bodies, our habits, our lives.

Risks would always be part of the life we've chosen, but we'd accepted our fears for one another, choosing to face them together rather than alone.

Malcolm's arms were my refuge; I slept there content, awaking to his smile and his kiss.

That was the last peaceful night.

"I just spoke with Admiral Forrest...Enterprise has been recalled."

After

He's sleeping now, at last. I don't dare move for fear of disturbing that fragile rest. This space and this mission are unsettling; neither of us is sleeping well. Jonathan's arm is wrapped around my waist, his head pillowed on my chest.

I long to kiss him, to stroke the worry from his forehead, to share the burden he's carrying. But sleep is the greater gift tonight; all I can do is love him,,, and be his refuge.

I whisper words we'd shared in a private ceremony back on Earth.

Apache Wedding Prayer

Now you will feel no rain,

For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,

For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,

But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place

To enter into the days of your togetherness

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.