Replacing Sorrow
by bcfan
Spoilers: Post Colonization
Thanks to MaybeAmanda for her adverb-pruning beta
Summary: A trial, a friendship, and a promise.
It wasn't so much the heat. It was knowing her world would
never be cool again.
Scully wiped the funk from her brow for the thousandth
time, blinked against the salt that was stinging her eyes.
She licked cracked lips and wished for lip balm, remembered
reading once that it was purported to be an addictive
substance. Well, yeah. But that minor addiction had died
an easy death in the hollow place that used to be her
heart.
The place where Mulder used to be.
She felt a sweaty hand grab hers, a wordless command, and
she held the nearly-empty canteen to ten-year-old lips.
Watched crescents of lashes slip closed as he concentrated
on the moisture.
A nod.
He hadn't talked for weeks. She hadn't felt much like
conversation either, not with Mulder gone. But Will's mind
seemed to be in a far away place where she couldn't follow.
If she had time to think beyond survival she would be
worried.
Scully crouched, used a stick to draw in the dust. "Your
dad said to go here," she whispered. The rough map
mimicked a westward trek to flat-topped mountains, a
crooked line ending at a cartoon skyscraper. "Something is
here. We must find it."
Will blinked, nodded again, lowered his zipper and peed
into the dust, erasing her sketch. Scully noticed with
long-forgotten doctor's eyes that his urine was dark. If
she didn't get him more water, some nourishment, her son
would never make it. Even at ten, he was up to her
shoulder - too big to carry.
"I'm sorry." If she had the energy she'd be crying right
now.
Will stared at her with Mulder's knowing eyes before
pointed west.
She walked. She felt like she had been walking forever.
It was starlight and wolf howls before they rested,
crouched in a shallow cave. Scully relaxed with the rock
solid against her back as Will huddled, twitching with
sleep, in her arms.
Scully absently scratched peeling sunburn, dozing and
starting awake a dozen times before joining her son in
broken slumber.
Her dream was always the same. She was furious, shouting,
as Mulder turned away.
"I hear something," he'd explained patiently. "I feel
something."
"Goddammit, Mulder, don't leave us here."
"I'll be back in an hour."
Liar. Two hours later she'd heard faint screams - human
screams. Three hours after that she stumbled, Will
trailing behind, on a maroon patch of blood. But that was
her only clue.
In her dream, the blood spread like spilled paint over the
dust, over the rocks and shrubs, creeping toward Will. She
snatched Will up, and held him, with superhuman strength,
over her head as the gore spread upward to fill her mouth,
choking her awake.
Scully groaned.
She carefully rolled her son to the ground where he curled
into a sleeping ball. Staggering upright, Scully slipped
into the faint pre-dawn light, in search of something to
call breakfast.
xXxXx
"Cas, more strays. Should we shoot 'em or run 'em off?"
Cassie lowered her binoculars. They surely didn't need
more than the seventeen souls under her care, and they had
dodged or shot at plenty before. Still. "Nah. We'll talk
first. See what use the woman can be."
They ambled over the ridge and down the slope in a tight
group, Cassie in the lead. The woman grabbed the boy's arm
and appeared to consider running before freezing where they
stood.
Cassie stepped forward, shotgun loose and easy in her hand.
The boy shrunk back behind his ma, whites of his eyes
showing like a young colt that's been spooked.
The woman was a different story - the common coin of
weariness and starvation, but standing stern with a spark
of steel grit that Cassie had come to value.
"Where you heading?"
The woman pointed towards the mountains. "West."
"Name?"
"Scully." She pointed to the boy. "Will."
"And I'm Cassie. You keep walking the way you are, you'll
be stepping right into our camp. Question is, are you a
paying customer?"
Cassie waited for an answer. Finally, the other woman
spoke. "I don't have anything to trade. I can help around
the camp - I can cook, wash, help with first aid. Or we
can walk the long way around. But my boy, he needs something
to eat. Please."
Cassie heard a shuffle behind her. "Jake, Morey, you head
back. I'll be along."
Morey said, "Ya sure, Cas?"
Cassie held up her shotgun and smiled, and the young men
headed out. She reached into her pouch and pulled out some
jerky. "Here."
The woman's hand shook as she divided the pieces - two for
herself, three for the boy, Cassie noted. They began to
eat with an intensity that made Cassie's guts ache, and she
passed her canteen as the boy began to choke.
"Slow down, son," Cassie murmured. "We got more food in
camp. Your welcome to stay a day or two, but that's all I
can promise. After what's happened, folks hold tight to
what they got."
Scully put down the canteen, wiped the rim before carefully
replacing the lid. "A day or two is fine. More than fine.
After that, we have to go west."
"Yeah, you said." Cassie started back to camp, noted that
Scully walked between her and Will. A good mother. She
had been a good mother once.
Probably why I'm being such a soft idiot now, Cassie
scolded herself.
The camp may have been nothing more than tents and half-
built adobe structures thrown randomly onto the top of a
narrow rise, but to Cassie it was evidence of past life
regained. A beautiful sight after three years of hard work.
They had the beginnings of some kind of patchwork family
selected carefully by her from strangers wandering, lost,
in the aftermath of disaster. They had a solid defence
system where watchers could see for miles, crops that grew
in the arid climate, a team of hunters, one invaluable
horse and, even more precious, an old well Cassie had
discovered when she had tripped and almost fallen through
the rotting cover.
Scully was stumbling and dragging Will by one arm by the
time Cassie led them to her tent. "Sleep here. Then
baths." She heard a quiet, "thanks," before both collapsed
on the mattress, and Cassie watched for a moment as Scully
reached for Will's limp hand before closing the tent flap.
She was unsurprised to see several people gathered,
waiting.
Annie spoke. "What's going on, Cas?" The teen's face was
curious, but the two men behind her were scowling.
"We got visitors. Not residents. Visitors."
Tom drawled, "Interesting. Didn't know we were running a
hotel now." Blake snickered, and Sarah begin to chew her
lip.
"You got something to say to me Tom, say it." Cassie stood
taller, stared hard at the group. "Or are you telling me
it's not my decision who stays on my property, in my camp?"
"No, no, Cas, I'm sure Tom didn't mean anything," Annie
stuttered, and Tom added, "Hell, no, Cas. It's that this
just ain't only yours anymore. We're all working here, and
got rules that we all agreed to."
"And when I found you, Tom, wandering around the back
country muttering to yourself? You think the rest said,
'Hey, let's have that crazy bastard join us'?"
Tom flushed and clenched his fists and the others took a
step back.
Cassie deliberately soothed her voice. "Tom, you were
troubled but I could see you were a good man. And your
hands proved you were a hard worker even when you were too
sick to swing an axe. I took a chance on you. Now I'm
taking another chance." She stared at Tom until his eyes
shifted. "Got a problem with that?"
"Nope."
"Anyone else got a problem?"
No one did.
***
Scully and Cassie carried buckets of warmed water and
poured them into the metal tub while Will watched. The
canvas privacy screen of the bathhouse softened the sun,
dappling the shadows into soothing abstract designs.
Cassie tossed Scully two shirts and a pair of pants. "I
don't have nothing as will fit the boy except a shirt, and
here's something for you. I'll wash and hang your clothes
if you like."
Scully smiled. Will turned his back to Cassie, undressed,
and sat in the tub. Cassie held in a sigh. She could see
every rib on his thin back.
Cassie got busy scrubbing Will's clothes in a bucket as
Scully washed Will's hair. Streaks of mud rolled down his
shoulders from his bowed wet head.
She carried the bucket outside, rinsed Will's clothes, and
began hanging them on a line when she heard a soft noise.
Cassie stopped to listen. It was Scully - humming
something - and Cassie heard a breath of childish laughter,
the first sound she'd heard Will make.
Scully's voice - "Out you go, bullfrog" - and Will was
smiling as he stepped outside, his mother's clothes a
bundle clutched against his chest.
"Thank you, Will. I promise the hot sun will have you back
in your own clothes in no time."
Will wrinkled his nose as he looked down at the shirt hem
covering his knees and the rolled up sleeves bunched
against his slender wrists. His hazel eyes danced.
There's something about that boy, Cassie thought - but the
thought was interrupted by a series of shouts in the
distance.
Cassie hurried to finish the washing. "Tell your ma to
meet me back at my tent. Sounds like the hunters are back
and, judging by the noise, it's good news."
A short time later, the entire camp gathered around a dusty
trio of men. The horse drank greedily from a trough, a
travois with two deer still hitched to his shoulders.
Cassie noted Scully and Will, isolated at the back behind
an invisible barrier the crowd had erected.
"Good work, men," Cassie voice cut through the noise, and
the crowd applauded. "I officially declare tonight a feast
night. With this meat to replace our stockpiled
provisions, let's break into our larder."
Cheering all around, and Cassie continued. "I'm sure a few
of you have noticed our visitors, Scully and Will. The
hard work of our hunters and our kindness towards folks who
deserve it seem to be bringing us luck. Take time to
welcome them."
Cassie's shoulders relaxed as people began to turn and
murmur a word or two. Scully's quiet responses smoothed
their hardened faces.
***
As the feast wound to a close, Scully and Will sat among
the crowd at long benches, sandwiched in between Cassie and
an older boy with a faded pack of cards in his hand.
The boy tugged Scully's sleeve. "How does Will know all
these card tricks? He can pick out the right card every
time."
Cassie noted with interest Scully's worried glance before
she pasted on a smile. "I don't know. Will's always been
good with cards."
Will blinked up at Scully, and she brushed his hair back
from his forehead with an affectionate hand. "Do you want
anything else to eat?"
Will nodded no, and shifted his eyes toward the door.
"Would you like to go to bed?"
A yes, and Scully stood.
"I'll go with you," Cassie offered. "I could use the
quiet."
They walked through a blanket of starry darkness to the
tent. Cassie sat outside on an upended log, staring at the
sky and shaking her head at the foolish reflection that was
washing over her in salty waves. What was and could never
be again. All the might have beens. Life with Frank and
the kids, and how she had dragged herself from the muck of
despair after it all went to hell to find a bit of sanity
in her new life.
Scully was suffering that same despair, Cassie knew. It
was as plain as the love for her son and the unknown reason
for pressing onward into more of the nothing that
surrounded this camp.
Cassie gestured to another log as Scully stepped outside,
poured water into two battered metal cups, and offered one.
"I wasn't expecting you to stay awake."
"Thanks." She sipped her drink. "Sometimes - I don't
sleep as easily as Will."
"Bad dreams?"
Scully nodded.
"Yeah, I had them bad after the disaster, when Frank and
the boys didn't make it. They were in Denver visiting
Frank's mother."
"The disaster." Scully's face was blank. "What do you think
happened, Cassie?"
"Must have been some kind of world wide nuclear disaster,
with all the explosions in the cities and people dying.
There's no t.v., no radio any more. I guess up here we're
far away from the radiation."
Scully carefully set her cup on the ground and stood. She
turned her back on Cassie, her shoulders shaking.
Cassie heard the whimpers and shook her head, angry at
herself for causing another breakdown, another painful
wound that hurt so much before it healed. She put her hand
on Scully's shoulder, and was shocked to the core when
Scully turned and laughter brayed out, tears coursing down
her cheeks from trying to hold back.
"Nuclear disaster?" She gasped and started laughing again,
before wiping the tears and snot away with a sleeve.
"Mulder was right - he said no one would ever believe him
and he was right."
Cassie grabbed Scully by the shoulders and shook hard,
once. "Sit down. Tell me what you know. Now."
"I'm sorry, Cassie. For laughing, and sorry for your loss.
But," Scully shook her head, "you'll never believe me."
"Believe what? Are you saying there wasn't a nuclear
disaster, that the ground isn't tainted and that's not the
reason everyone died? Because if not, I'll go searching
for Frank and my kids."
"No, stop." Scully held up her hand. "No, there's no hope
for your family, or for someone I lost. But it's not
because of nuclear disaster. It's worse."
"Tell me."
Scully sat and began her story. Her voice was steady, only
breaking in a couple of places that must have been
personally painful, though Cassie had no understanding of
why. The hours long narrative was unbelievable, ridiculous
- and chilling as hell, because Cassie believed every word.
"So, we're under attack?"
Scully nodded.
"By aliens?"
Scully nodded again.
"And they're still on Earth trying to control us?"
"Yes."
"And you don't know how to stop them?"
"No," Scully said simply. "I don't."
Cassie took a deep breath. Her life depended upon reading
people, and she was certain that Scully was telling the
truth.
After a patch of silence, Cassie stretched and yawned. The
first finger-breadths of light were shining in the east.
"You've mentioned this Mulder a dozen times, but never said
what happened to him."
The glint of tears shone in Scully's eyes for a moment
before she blinked them away. "I have to believe he is
dead," a low voice. "All the evidence proves it. But it's
so hard."
"I know." Cassie's voice was gentle, "I'm going to say
something, Scully. Please don't take it the wrong way.
You're a good mother. But if you have to leave and that
puts Will in danger, wouldn't it be better if you left him
here? I'd be privileged to take care of him for you."
Scully shuddered, and she gripped her hands together so
hard that her knuckles blanched. "I think of Will. I've
thought of Will every step of this journey. You can't
know." She took a deep breath. "I tried to protect Will
when he was a baby by sending him away, and it didn't work.
It wouldn't work now. We must stay together. It's the
only way I can protect him."
Cassie stood and offered Scully her hand, pulling her up.
"Get some sleep, Scully. If Will wakes up, I'll take care
of him until you're ready. I can't help much, but I'll
hitch up the buggy tonight and get you as far west as I
can."
"Won't people try to stop you?" Scully wondered.
"It's my horse. For that matter, it's my loaded shotgun,
too." Cassie grinned.
xXxXx
Scully climbed steadily up the path, Will matching her
stride for stride. Her farewell from Cassie had been brief
but heartfelt, and she had been touched by a backpack
filled with generous provisions.
Will held Cassie's gift of an eagle's feather in one hand,
stroking it occasionally as he walked, a small smile on his
face.
Mulder said west. And Scully was going west although she
didn't know why, beyond a feeling, growing by the minute,
that she was close to the end of her journey. She hoped
for a good ending - Mulder would never purposely steer her
in the wrong direction.
"These mountains seem right," Scully said, and Will nodded.
"Where do you think the building might be?"
Will pointed upward and to the left. He seemed so sure.
Scully smiled at her son, felt her spirits lift, and
deliberately breathed in hope and exhaled worry. Deciding
to follow Mulder's directions had really been no decision
at all.
The altitude did nothing to lessen the sun's intensity, and
Scully drew comfort from this as well. If evil hatched in
the icy places, in Cinderella coffins and harvesting tubes,
then surely heat offered salvation.
They turned a corner, shimmied through a narrow gap between
boulders, climbed up to another bend in the path - and
skidded to a halt within two feet of a man holding a rifle.
Scully grabbed Will's hand. "We're unarmed."
The man held the gun steady. "Have you come to see the
Prophet?"
Scully bit back a gasp as Will stepped forward and nodded,
smiling.
"Yes, we have," she said.
The man scratched his chin and lowered his weapon. "The
Prophet said he'd have two worthy visitors - a woman with
red hair and a boy. You sure look like them."
"I'm Dana Scully. This is my son William."
"That's right. Follow me."
"Wait." Scully touched the man's back and he turned. "This
prophet is looking for us? Who is he?"
"I got here three days ago. I've never met him, but I know
what people say - that The Prophet is the vital link in our
communal fight against the off-world demon hoards. And
ma'am, we're winning the fight."
"Really? How?"
"I don't know the how or the why of it, but I do know of
the origin group's vision, as described in our Sacred
Readings: Gather together those with knowledge and
scientific power and join with them our spiritual efforts.
There will be a Prophet to guide us and an unknown Saviour
to set us free. So sayeth the lesson."
Scully gave up trying to understand the man's jumbled
logic. Best see for herself. And as she stumbled through
a long rock tunnel, with Will stepping eagerly ahead,
frustration fought a war with hope. Would their so-called
prophet be some quasi-religious figure asserting that he
could vanquish the alien invasion? If so, all of Scully's
work to claim victory over the aliens with the development
of a vaccine - with science - seemed a tarnished bauble in
the face of this new twist.
But what if the prophet were someone else. Someone from
her world. Someone - she stopped. Scully decided to wish
for the possible instead, that some of the friends they'd
met in the course of their struggles had survived and made
it to this fortress in the mountains.
Her wishes were answered when a door slid open and they
were guided into a domed room and met with an eager crowd.
John Doggett grabbed Scully's hand as Monica Reyes
enveloped her in a hug. "You're here!" Monica laughed.
John bent down. "Is this little man that baby I used to
know?" he said and shook Will's hand, too, as Will smiled
shyly back.
Scully gaped. "Monica, how did you and John get here?"
"We didn't have a choice. We were 'gathered' here by a
group of," Monica bent to whisper, "nuts. But nuts with
good hearts and sound ideas for fighting the aliens. In
fact, the vaccine is ready, and-"
Monica stopped. Whispers of "The Prophet" filled the room.
Scully took a deep breath, afraid to hope. She turned -
and there, with crutches under his arms and a broad smile
on his face, was Mulder.
"Dad!" Will shouted, and propelled himself into Mulder's
arms. Mulder dropped his crutches and hugged tight,
balancing on his good leg until someone slid a chair under
him.
Scully burst out crying.
"Come here," Mulder urged, and she did.
After a moment's lifetime of shared tears and kisses,
Mulder held Scully's face in his hands. To complain.
"They kidnapped me, Scully. The idiots think I'm a
prophet. I didn't want to go with them but they broke my
leg and hauled me away like a slab of beef. I've been
telling them AT LENGTH how stupid it is to break a
PROPHET'S leg."
"I bet," Scully sniffed, and was amused to see certain
members of the crowd - the ones wearing robes - shift their
feet and blush with embarrassment.
"They also failed in their search for you and Will, right,
fellas?" Mulder goaded.
"Yes, Prophet," several men muttered.
"Careful, Mulder," she said with mock sternness, "they
might toss you back out again as a bad catch."
"No hope of that. Not now, when we've finally developed
the vaccine."
Mulder stood, one arm around Scully and the other around
Will before grabbing his crutches, and turned to the crowd.
"Everyone, we can't break out the champagne just yet. The
vaccine is developed, and now the council must decide how
to best distribute it around the world."
"Our synod can spread it through the faithful," said an
elderly robed figure.
"That's one idea. But your, uh, Prophet needs to rest.
Anyone who can be spared should take a break, follow my
example."
The crowd began to disperse. Monica waved and she and John
left by the main door. Mulder led the way to a room behind
the dais, the entrance to an apartment carved into the
mountain.
"What now, oh prophet?" Scully asked.
"Ouch, Scully. Not you too."
Mulder bent down, gave Will's shoulder a squeeze. "You
okay?"
"Yes, dad. I looked down from the stars, so I knew I'd
find you."
Mulder grinned and shook his head. "That's something we're
going to talk about. But for now, you think you could find
the kitchen and a bowl of ice cream - give mom and I some
alone time?"
Scully kissed Will's forehead before he left.
"What now, Mulder?"
"Now we play catch up." Mulder gave Scully a playful
nudge. "As much as we can play with a broken leg and what
appears to be a psychic son."
"Will's eating the first ice cream he's seen in years -
that should distract him. And Mulder, as your personal
physician, I foresee no problem with beginning a physical
therapy routine."
"That's the right attitude, Doc. Tonight is ours, and
tomorrow the future is ours to take. Let's grab it with
both hands."
A steadying hand on Mulder's arm as he propped his crutches
against the wall next to the bed, and Scully smiled.
"That's a promise."
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