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Mrs. Peel's AUTHOR: bcfan CLASSIFICATION: vignette SPOILER: This story exists only in the Mrs. Peel/John Steed Avengers' world. All else is smoke and mirrors. |
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As she drove her sleek sportscar down the lane, the
lanky, lovely and curvaceous Emma Peel wiped the
sweat off her brow. She'd just come from a grueling
karate lesson, followed by a bout of olympic-level
fencing. "What I need is a hot shower, followed by a relaxing hour of creating new Mensa tests," she mused. "But wait - the plumbing in my flat is being repaired! Perhaps John wouldn't mind - " Her mind made up, Emma turned her auto towards John Steed's flat, and was soon knocking on his door. "No answer. Strange, I thought he was home today." Even though John Steed was, in reality, a middle-aged and somewhat paunchy man, Emma enjoyed his suave company, and was disappointed by his absence. Emma shrugged, then opened his door with her spare key. No one appeared to be home. She was soon happily soaping up under the spray. As she stepped out of the shower, Emma heard a strange clanking noise coming from the basement. Nude and dripping (but always prepared due to her extensive martial arts training) she impulsively decided to investigate. Creeping down the basement stairs, Emma flung open the door - then stood frozen in shock. There was John Steed, attaching a length of chain to the leg of ... her husband? Her husband who had been missing for years in the jungle?!? Both men turned and stared at Emma's nude form. John Steed gasped, "Mrs. Peel!" "Mr. Steed," Emma replied icily. "Perhaps you'd care to offer an explanation." "Darling," blurted her husband, but Emma ignored him entirely, focusing her glare on Steed. "Go on." "Mrs. Peel," Steed began. "It's been such a pleasure working with you all these years." At that, Emma blushed slightly, but still remained stern. "Your husband - who doesn't appreciate you the way I do! - suddenly showed up last year and, well, I didn't want to break up our partnership and all so I made these alternate arrangements. I suggested he just go back to the jungle but he refused!" Emma gazed at Steed with affection. "Yes, I do understand what you mean." With these words, John Steed's eyes lit up. "I've found our partnership very rewarding. However, we are British, we must do our duty..." "Emma, darling, aren't you glad to see me?" gasped the chained man. When Emma didn't speak, her husband hesitantly continued, "Look, everyone, Steed has convinced me. I - I'm willing to go back to the jungle for two more years, while you sort things out. As long as it's a nice jungle. How about Hawaii? I've heard they have jungle-like conditions there." "Good show," Steed heartily uttered. "Very sensible, darling." Emma politely pecked her husband on his grimy cheek. "Well, then," cheerfully boomed Steed, playing the perfect host. "Let's head upstairs and toast our two year plan with some vintage champagne." Within moments, the sound of clinking champagne glasses replaced the sound of clanking chains. Equanimity was returned to Emma Peel's world. |