"It is almost impossible for a person to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside."
"Our loyalities are to the species and the planet. We
speak for Earth. Our obligation to survive is owed not just to ourselves but
also to that Cosmos, ancient and vast, from which we spring."
~ Dr. Carl
Sagan
"In 1878 Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.
Jerk."
~ Starry Night Advertisment
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from
happening at once."
~ Anonymous
The Galaxy Song
~ Monty Python
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's
evolving, revolving at 900 miles an hour.
It's orbiting at ninety miles a
second, so it's reckoned,
the Sun which is the source of all our
power.
The Sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see,
are
moving at a million miles a day,
in the outer spiral arm at forty thousand
miles an hour
of a Galaxy we call the Milky Way.
Our Galaxy itself
contains a hundred billion stars, it's a hundred thousand light years side to
side.
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light years thick
but out
by us it's just three thousand light years wide.
It's thirty-thousand light
years from Galactic Central Point,
We go round every two hundred million
years.
And our galaxy is only one of millions and billions
in this
amazing and expanding Universe.
The Universe itself keeps on expanding
and expanding in all of the directions it can whiz.
As fast as it can go,
the speed of light you know,
twelve million miles a minute and that's the
fastest speed there is.
So remember when you're feeling very small and
insecure
how amazingly unlikely is your birth,
and pray that there's
intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'cause there's bugger-all down here
on earth.
~ Monty Python, The Meaning of Life
"It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and
blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted
out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small."
~ Neil Armstrong
"The universe is simple; it's the explanation that's complex."
"Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun."
"Two things inspire me to awe - the starry heavens above
and the moral universe within."
~ Immanuel Kant (of the Kant/Laplace theory
of the formation of the solar system)
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder where you
are.
Looking up is no solution;
The sky's so full of light
pollution."
~ David H. Levy
Rejected Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Lines:
One small
step for man. Ten million frequent flyer miles for me.
When I spit, it
floats upward.
This is the corniest thing I've ever done.
Are you
watching, Dorothy Shinbach? Would you go to the prom with me now, Dorothy
Shinbach?
I'm taking one giant leak for mankind.
Aieee! Moon
weasels.
~ David Letterman, Late Show (June 7, 1994)
"I don't know what you could say about a day in which you
have seen four beautiful sunsets."
~ John Glenn
"I love to revel in philosophical matters - especially
astronomy. I study astronomy more than any other foolishness there is. I am a
perfect slave to it. I am at it all the time. I have got more smoked glass than
clothes. I am as familiar with the stars as the comets are. I know all the
facts and figures and I have all the knowledge there is concerning them. I yelp
astronomy like a sun-dog, and paw the constellations like Ursa Major.
~ Mark
Twain
"The stars are made of the same atoms as the earth. I
usually pick one small topic like this to give a lecture on. Poets say science
takes away from the beauty of the stars - mere gobs of gas atoms. Nothing is
"mere." I too can see the stars on a desert night, and feel them. But do I see
less or more? The vastness of the heavens stretches my imagination - stuck on
this carousel my little eye can catch one-million-year-old light. A vast
pattern - of which I am a part - perhaps my stuff was belched from some
forgotten star, as one is belching there. Or see them with the greater eye of
Palomar, rushing all apart from some common starting point when they were
perhaps all together. What is the pattern, or the meaning, or the "why?" It
does not do harm to the mystery to know a little about it. For far more
marvelous is the truth than any artists of the past imagined! Why do the poets
of the present not speak of it? What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if
he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and
ammonia must be silent?"
~ Richard Feynman
Astronomy Humor!!
The Aliens Walk Amoung Us! / Paranoidal Home Page / Aliens Are Abducting Our Pants! / Andy's Astronomy Humor Page / Astronomers Do It... / Air Force Denies Stories of Ufo Crash / Repelling Mosquitoes While Observing / Sun Hill Observatory / The Size of the Moon