Camera switches to a large shadow a mighty roar coming from within it.
Narrator: That and Much Much more on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
//Theme tune//
Buffy: I seems forever since our last episode I wonder what has happened to Riley, I mean his cow’s dead his parents are dead but I still think he’s alive.
Angel: I know what you mean something still doesn’t feel right in the Riley sector, maybe it’s because he’s such a Wanker.
Spike: That’s it peaches let it out.
Angel: That’s rich *William the Bloody*
Spike turns away in disgust at his previous persona.
Xander: Uh guys where is Riley, he was here coz remember the look on his face when we sent him Bessie’s heart. That was something I’ll never forget.
Giles: Me too. Thank god we have Rob here to see that Buffy and Angel remain together.
Rob/ME: I did for all the other great B/A shippers out there, keep it up. Always believe in forever.
Willow: that’s nice putting a good word in for your fellow B/A shippers, such as myself. I never saw Buffy with Riley.
Xander: yeah he was just so static, Always talking about his Blasted cow Bessie.
Gunn: Yeah I never met him before last week and I already hate the guy and his Fucking cow (breathes heavily as his anger starts to get the better of him)
Wesley: Who wants another Bessie Burger then?
The gang stand up and head over to Wesley licking their lips as the scene begins too fade.
Fade in:
Riley: Yes it will work, we will become one.
Riley throws his head back as he ingests what looks like a heart. Suddenly he falls to the floor writhing in pain so terrible that he starts crying again.
Audience member: You Twat
Riley: I am not a Twat I am Bessie Man.. (rips away his shirt to reveal a pink tutu with a yellow cape an image of the late Bessie printed on the front)
Riley/Bessie Man: Bessie Man Away.
Audience member: God help us all
Riley: mwahh ( Evil Laugh)
Riley takes off using his new Cow powers. He may have new super powers but he’s still Riley deep down and dumb ass fly’s into the ceiling. Riley Cries
Riley: I miss my cow *sob* I’ll kill them for this.
Riley rushes out of the door this time a fearsome ‘MOOOO’ escaping his lips.
Riley: They won’t know what hit them. I’ll tear them all a new ass hole.
Scene Begins too fade
Fade in:
Nurse: He’s Flat lining!
Dr: I need 15000 milligrams of Adrenaline lets wake this guy up.
Nurse: 15000 Milligrams but that will kill him. You can’t play God with peoples lives any more remember you lost your license.
Dr: I can save this man and maybe if I shock him enough he’ll realise how much of a jackass he’s been over the past few years.
Nurse: Yeah I know.
The pair turn back to the patient that is laying on the hospital technically dead.
Dr: God Speed Joss ( injects 15000 mg’s of Adrenaline)
Joss: (Flying upright) Roaaaarrrrrr. I must make people Unhappy (rips out all of the tubes and pushes the nurse to the floor)
Joss head off in the direction of Buffy’s home.
Cut to Buffy’s house
Angel: I love you.
Spike: Not in front of the others peaches
Angel: Not you. You platinum cock sucker
Spike: Hey I said not in front of the others.
Willow: Something’s coming I can feel it.
Buffy: You’re right my senses are racing. It’s like some primeval force is about to attack.
Giles: Buffy you’re are the slayer not some primeval radar. It would be impossible for someone to predict the coming of a new evil.
Buffy: But..
Giles: No I’m big you’re small, I’m right you’re wrong.
The door flies open and Riley comes in.
Spike: Bloody hell ( falls off the couch laughing at Rileys costume)
Gunn: Haha I Killed your cow.
Riley: Bessie isn’t dead she lives inside of me We are one.
Xander: Did anybody else just get a very frightening mental image?
Wesley: Actually yes.
Riley: Time to die!!
Gunn: (whips out his shot gun) I fucked up your cow.. I fucked up Joss and now I’m gonna fuck you up to !!
Gunn pulls the trigger but only the sound of a click reverberates around the room !!
Riley: I guess I’m one super villain too many Charles
Riley fires what looks like a spray of milk from his mouth drowning Gunn in a sea of dairy product.
Angel: Gunn
Angel flies toward Riley grabbing the former farm boy by his newly grown horns.
Riley: You have no idea of my power ( throws Angel across the room like a rag doll)
Spike: Bloody hell.
Buffy: What have we done
Riley: You like. Stupid bitch.
Buffy: Riley You don’t want to do this.
Riley: Don’t I u killed bessie and broke up with me for that (points at Angel). I’m better than all of you now!!
Spike: Dream on Dick head (spike swiftly breaks Riley’s neck).
Xander: Oh my god his chip is broken.
Spike: Riley was a demon hence no shock
Xander: Right makes sense.
Willow: I can still sense the danger.
Giles: Yes that was too easy. Spike killed him
Spike: hey
a blinding light filters through the broken down door, the gang shield their eyes against the brilliant glow.
Angel: I think I’m blind.
Spike: Actually you have your hand over your eyes.
Angel: Oh yeah. I can see it’s a miracle.
A seriously pumped up joss comes through the door.
Buffy: Oh shit.
Willow: I know.
Giles: How is this possible.
Joss: I am here to cancel this Buffy/Angel reunion nobody gets too be happy on my watch.
Buffy: You can’t
Joss: I am the most powerful being on the Earth. Nothing can stop me.
Joss pulls the plug on the main camera.
Joss: One down….
Willow: we have to do something fast.
Xander: how bout we hit him with what he fears most.
Giles: of course
Wesley: happiness
Buffy: oh.
Buffy and Angel start too make out kissing passionately, groping hungrily at each other.
Joss: Noo!!
Willow: Yeah that’s right were happy you can’t ever take that away again.
The image of Buffy and Angel making out becomes too much for Joss and his head explodes.
Spike: eww his ear landed on me.
Giles: Buffy? Angel?
Xander: they’re not gonna stop.
Rob/me: Cut.
Wesley: Well that went well I think
Xander: lets get out of here before those two actually have sex
Scene fades.
Mutant enemy zombie: Shit Joss Hired me.. I’m screwed
The end
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