Thomas, BB...
What a year 2002 was for me! Having little Armand was the unexpected surprise of the year. After losing my twins sons, Ben and Ali, to fatal birth defects at six months in January 2001, miscarrying a pregnancy at 7 weeks in January 2002, (only to discover that I was pregnant again with Little Armand two months later)... this past year has been something else. It is now January 2003 and God has surely blessed me in a very unexpected way. That blessing goes by the name of Armand Ben-Arthur Trammell, Jr.
There are times when it's hard to believe that I am saying MY son's name! After losing three angels I didn't think that I'd ever have the opportunity to give birth to a child in this lifetime but, I never gave up hope. If you read my son's story then you'll know that even my pregnancy with him was very difficult. I started 2002 with a car accident, a miscarriage, and a layoff notice from my employer. Having another baby was far from our agenda. I tackled my unemployment issue by going to school to enhance my skills. About a month after I started school I realized that I hadn't had a period since I started school. At this point my period was about two days overdue. The following week after "Miss P." still didn't show her face I decided it was time to take a home pregnancy test. I will never forget that day as I was awaiting for the results. I'm thinking "this is just silly and I am just teasing myself because I know I really wanted a child but the timing was WAY OFF!!!" I even covered the pregnancy test with some tissue because I just thought it would be negative and I was being too hopeful... BUT my period really was late. When I took the toilet paper off of the pregnancy stick you could've knocked me down with a feather!!! Two lines? Two lines? No. No. No. No. Well, let's just say that I continued going to school in a serious state of shock up until my 23rd week.
During my 23rd week I went to the emergency room at Summit Medical Center in Oakland, CA because I was bleeding pretty heavily. It was almost like my period had returned. I had read that sometimes this was quite common so I really thought I would go to the ER, get checked out and the doctors would probably send me home. Ha! Not only did the doctor tell me that I had dilated three centimeters but, I wasn't going anywhere until it was time for my son to be born. It turned out that I had an incompetent cervix and that I basically dilated without any real contractions. Of course at this point I am thinking here we go again! I just could not bear the thought of losing another child. But for some reason there was a small voice inside of me that said "Have faith and put this in God's hands.." So when the nurse told me that it was possible that an open cervix could close up that night I believed it. My cervix never closed but I didn't dilate any further either. This was a good thing because the very next morning I was scheduled to have a cerclage put into place to close up my cervix. So as long as I didn't dilate at this point there was a good chance that this pregnancy could be saved. Of course this surgery wasn't guaranteed to work but at the time it was the best solution towards saving the pregnancy and preventing my water bag from breaking.
Well four days after the surgery (which went well by the way) my water bag did break. Prior to that I had been transferred to Alta Bates Medical Center so that the baby would be taken care of at their wonderful NICU if and when Armand, Jr. decided to come. Fortunately, although I was bleeding somewhat and my water broke I still didn't go into labor. It didn't really hit me until after my water broke that I would be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. If it wasn't for everyone that visited me, wished me well, sent their prayers, called me, and prayed for me Lord knows how I would have made it. The nurses at Alta Bates Medical Center were wonderful and they always kept me in line. I had to stay in bed laying either on my right or left side. I could only lay on my back for brief periods. I was eventually allowed to walk to the bathroom and take sit down showers. (the other options were sponge baths in the bed and utilizing the commode).
Around the sixth week that I was in the hospital, (my 29th week) I was at the point where I though that I was just going to lose it. My water bag had broke, so every minute I was concerned about how Armand, Jr. was doing. How was he surviving with so little amniotic fluid? If it wasn't for getting hooked up to the monitor 3 times a day to hear his heartbeat (and monitor any possible contractions that I never had) I would have felt that bed rest was not worth it at all. My life had come to a screeching halt. I had no connection to the outside world at all. I would even yearn to be at home in the kitchen washing dishes believe it or not! Every Monday the pregnant women on the ante-partum ward where I was would get together to discuss our experiences while on bed rest. During my sixth week I had found out that one of the ladies had delivered her baby. Unfortunately, he was premature but doing fine. At this point I just wanted to have my baby... I was jealous because she could walk around and I could not! Shame on me! I felt so guilty for feeling like this but, I thought that I was handling the fact that I was on bed rest, but emotionally I really wasn't. After a few days I felt better, especially since I had opened up to a few people about by anxiety. I realized that I should be thankful that I at least was given an opportunity to save my baby. It was just that I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. After all I had lots of love and prayers thrown my way, my mom was extremely supportive of me, (she brought some good food too), the nurses sympathized with me, I had plenty of books to read, a blanket that I am still crocheting to this day, I had hand held games to play, VCR tapes, a coloring book, and most important of all I heard my son's heartbeat every single day!
September 30, 2002. The smoke had cleared from me letting my emotions take over and I was ready to go ahead and stay on bed rest until November 5th. This would have marked my 34th week and would have been the week that my wonderful doctors would have induced my labor. If I had lasted this long I could do another six weeks! Well that morning little Armand decided to end this bed rest thing for his mom anyway. On the night of September 29th, I felt some slight back pains but I just thought it was because I was uncomfortable. Armand, Sr. had spent the night that night and we tried to cram into my small bed then, he eventually laid down on one of those sleep chairs. The morning of September 30th I was still having these minor back pains. I still didn't think much of it. After a lot of activity that morning, nurses coming in and out, saying good-bye to Armand, Sr., eating breakfast, preparing to go to my group meeting and my ultrasound, I finally had about 15 minutes to myself. So I had decided to shower then go to my weekly group meeting. When I got out of bed I started feeling those minor back aches again. This time I told myself that maybe I should lay down for a few minutes to assess my situation. When I did I felt something along the lines of a back spasms, I think, every 5 - 7 minutes. Well maybe this could be labor? After I called my nurse in and told her that I might be in labor she kind of looked at me in disbelief. I used to always joke with my nurses that I wouldn't know what labor pains felt like because I have never actually felt them. So after I was hooked up to the monitor and she let me stay on for about 20 minutes, at this point I had experienced my first real contractions. And, yes folks I was in labor! At about 9 a.m. I was rushed to L & D to hopefully prevent any more contractions because I hadn't made it to my 34th week. Ha! At about 2:50 p.m. the anesthesiologist was putting the finishing touches on my epidural. At 2:58 p.m. Armand Ben-Arthur Trammell, Jr. a.k.a. Thomas, BB (baby boy) was born!!!!!
I was in such a state of shock that our son had arrived so fast. Although I was really ready to go ahead and wait until my 34th week I had never considered that maybe he didn't want to wait. But our son was finally here. Even today I am in shock as I've watched in amazement how my son has gone from 2 1/2 lbs. to 8 lbs., 2 oz. Armand, Jr. has spent his first 94 days (and counting) in the NICU at Alta Bates Medical Center and in the ICN at Children's Hospital. He's had two surgeries for NEC and a PDA. He's scheduled for another surgery in January to reconnect his intestines due to the NEC. After countless blood transfusions, blood tests, and various wires attached to his body from head to toe, I am so blessed that he is still alive and I am able to write about it. Today our son is still hospitalized at Children's Hospital and is doing as well as can be expected. You can read more about our son's progress on the Updates page. It has been a roller coaster ride for Armand, Sr. and I. However I feel like we were the ones that stood on the sidelines and looked at the roller coaster that our son was riding. As everyday I tell him that if I could take his pain away that I would... as it is he who is really riding this roller coaster and surviving every turn and twist.
There is so much more that I could talk about as far as our experience dealing with a premature child. It hasn't been an easy road and I just haven't had the time to even to absorb everything that has happened to Armand, Jr. However, I did want to begin sharing my story with everyone and I thought creating a website would be a fun way to keep my family and friends updated on his progress. So, please continue to check back with us as I am sure this website will expand over the next year - just like our son! I thank God every day for blessing us with Armand, Jr. He is a fighter and an inspiration to me! Thanks for allowing us to share our story.
"If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." - Anonymous
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