Epilogue:

Nabiki screamed and ducked as three horned demons zipped past her, tentacles lashing the air. "Dammit," She clouted the overly handsome boy carrying her on the ear. "I thought I told you to bathe them with the waterproof soap."

"I'm sorry," he stumbled on a water slick rock, "I didn't think-----"

"BAKA!" Nabiki clouted him again. "I didn't marry you because you can think-----" She ducked as the three creatures zoomed past again, mooing gleefully.

"Oh? Why mercenary girl marry then? Not for money?"

"It's obvious. I married him because he's beautiful. MY brains and his . . .errrr . . .attributes should have made the most beautiful children in the world. They would have made a _fortune_ in commercials. Then later as idol stars." She clouted the beautiful boy again.

"If some _IDIOT_ hadn't gotten it into his head to take them skinny dipping in the cursed----"

"But sweetheart, it makes them much stronger fighters----" He flinched, expecting another blow. When none was forthcoming he opened his eyes. "Ummmm, you aren't mad?"

"I'm still mad. This is just a slick section and I don't want you to drop me. I'll take care of you after we set up camp." He frowned, then blushed as she ran a hand inside his tunic. "W . . .what are you d . . .d . . .doing?"

"Hmmmmm," Nabiki hummed, looking up at him through slitted lids. "Did I make a mistake when I had Happy rename you Mr. Lovemachine Taro?"

"N . . .n . . .no! But what about the kids?" He pointed to the three figures swooping and darting among the ripples and riffs of the rock.

"No problem." She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. "Shoukin! Genkin! Kinkai!" The three figures swooped low, circling around their mother. "Grandpa Happy is going to play with you ALL day." She pointed behind her. There was a brief scream of protest, then a splashing sound as if a small animal were fleeing in terror down a slippery slope. The three flying creatures dropped onto the speeding master of perversions like hawks on a particularly plump rabbit. With gleeful bleating cries they carried him off to the top of the rock.

"See Taro-chan," she pressed her lips to his chest, circling his nipple with her tongue. "Don't I always take care of things?"

"Y . . .y . . .yes." Taro's eyes started to roll up in his head.

"Baka!" Nabiki clocked him on the head again. "Don't drop me." She looked around. "We're here. Set up camp. I expect my tea in fifteen minutes. And dinner on the table by five."

"Ye . . .yes, Nabiki-sama." She smiled up at him and he wriggled like a puppy getting his tummy rubbed.

"Sister-by-law do good job train man." Shan P'u glared down from her perch atop the huge pack-with-legs stumbling through the only slightly- above-freezing water. "Have smart, hard-worker man. Not good-for-nothing-worthless-lazy-stupid- slow-poke-----"

"Camp is ready and I have your tea, beloved."

"What take stupid Mu Sz so long?" Shan P'u hopped down and took the steaming cup. "Make sure VCR set to record so Shan P'u not miss programs. Also want sherbert for dessert instead apple pie. And ask Akane-chan and husband if want change menu. Have bath set up and ready by dinner time. Water forty eight degree centigrade."

"Of course beloved." Shan P'u smiled slightly. "If Mu Sz good, Shan P'u let wash hair."

"Really!" At Shan P'u's nod Mu Sz's eyes glazed over in bliss. Was ever a man so fortunate as he?

"Well," Nabiki looked around, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "We're here. Although _why_ Akane was so insistent on buying this stupid piece of granite I'll never know."

"Not granite, is volcanic rock." Shan P'u opined as she helped Nabiki over a rough spot.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Nabiki grunted as she scrambled up a steep rise. "why you're still talking like . . .ummm . . ." Nabiki tried to think of a polite term.

"Nabiki-san want know why Shan P'u make funny talk-talk," She grinned at her sister-in-law. "instead of speaking normally, like this?"

Nabiki gave Shan P'u a sour look. "Exactly."

"Shan P'u make talk-talk, person no take serious, Shan P'u learn many thing. Enemy no take serious. Shan P'u have big advantage." She grinned slyly. "Husband like Shan P'u talking. Make _big_ happy."

"Geeez, don't I know it. After that public service announcement you did for the Japan-China tourist board aired, I thought every man between six and sixty was going to immigrate to China."

"China peoples very friendly." Shan P'u pouted, peeping through her lashes. "You come please visit China? Shan P'u like very much."

"Damn, it's that dimple that does it." She glanced at Shan P'u's chest. "Assuming they ever made it that far up." She thought a minute. "And Akane's never said anything about your talk-talk?"

"Akane-chan like Shan P'u talking very much." Shan P'u answered primly. "Make much happy."

"I bet." Nabiki smirked. "You know, I've always wanted to ask how the three of you-----"

"Beloved," a voice hoarse with strain came around the rocks. "should you be doing that in your . . .delicate condition?"

Trotting around the rock Nabiki saw a samurai standing in the middle of a forest of iron spikes, staring up at the top of a bamboo pole. "Oh, Tati-chan . . .the view up here is so nice." A very pregnant Kasumi stepped lightly across to another pole, shading her eyes from the setting sun. "Oh, look over there," she leaned forward for a better view. "how pretty the sunlight is reflecting off the water." There was a groan, like a rusty hinge breaking open and Kuno Tatiwaki turned a shade of green that was usually seen only on July road kill.

"Oneesama, I think you should come down. Your husband looks unwell."

"Oh no." Kasumi stepped off the pole, flipped once in the air and landed lightly as a thistle.

"Don't _DO_ that!" Nabiki put a hand to her chest to keep her heart from jumping out.

"Do what? Nabiki-chan." Kasumi asked, puzzled, as she bent over her unconscious husband. "Isn't Tati-chan cute when he's asleep?"

Shan P'u patted Nabiki on her shoulder. "Nabiki-chan should be used to martial artists."

"Nabiki-chan _never_ get used to . . .to . . ." She pointed helplessly to the high poles, surrounded by lethal iron teeth. "And _Taro-chan_ wants to teach MY children to----" Her mouth opened and closed silently as she tried to come up with words to describe what she felt about her weaker half.

"Don't worry," Shan P'u reassured her seriously. "Taro is one of the best martial artists in the world and he's a good teacher. He'll never let anything happen to the children."

"But . . ."

"No can child-proof whole world." Shan P'u observed grinningly, reminding Nabiki of her attempts to do just that when the triplets had been born. It had taken a note from the Emperor himself to convince her it wasn't possible to put baby gates across every street in Tokyo. Nabiki blushed, but wisely kept silent. "Make good try though," Shan P'u continued. "Get Ukyou pad all sharp corners Nerima."

"Heh," Nabiki combined a grin with a grunt as she scrambled over a rough spot in the trail. "what's the use of being a close personal friend of the Prime Minister if you can't get a few perk's."

"Why Ukyou not coming?"

"She's putting together a new peace program to unite Koreeeee-----," With a squawk Nabiki slid backward, arms windmilling, until Shan P'u snagged her with one hand and lifted her over a pile of rubble. "Korea," Nabiki gulped, clinging to Shan P'u's arm until she was on firmer ground. "Probably get another award to go with her first for bringing Pakistan and India together.

"Peace through Cooking'!" Nabiki snorted inelegantly. "Geeez, they'll give Nobel Prizes for anything nowdays."

"Ukyou still sing?" Shan P'u moved Nabiki up slope with a firm push to her derriere.

"Nah. She gave up the Idol stuff after she was elected to the Diet for a second term. She still sings whenever a new restaurant opens. Last one was in Copenhagen a couple of months ago."

Dusting off her rear Nabiki looked back at Shan P'u. "Don't you ever read the papers?"

"Shan P'u not get out of house much." Shan P'u not get out of bed-room much, Nabiki thought cattily, looking at Shan P'u's firm though pneumatic figure. She should at least have a few stretch marks!

"Hey, you guys hurry up. You're going to miss the sunset!" Nabiki glanced back to see Kuno struggling to his feet with Kasumi's aid. Satisfied her sister had things well in hand she allowed Shan P'u to hurry her along.

"What's the rush?" she questioned the powerfully built young man limping toward her. That small impediment and a streak of grey in his hair were the only signs of the fight that had almost killed him.

"Dachi-chan doesn't like to be kept waiting." Ryouga confided in a whisper.

"Got you whipped already?" Nabiki laughed. "What're you going to be like _after_ the wedding?"

"It's not like that," Rouga protested. "We're just friends."

Nabiki smirked, but let him off the hook. Linking arms the three hurried along, Kasumi and Kuno bringing up the rear. Rounding a high mound of sharp basalt they came to an almost flat lip of rock that jutted out over the sea. Iron poles rose tall against the sunset sky. Nabiki looked at her baby sister and brother- in-law dancing on the swaying poles high above the wave covered rocks and sat down suddenly with a thump.

"Hey," Ryouga put a hand on her shoulder in concern. "are you OK?"

"I'm fine." Nabiki put her head between her knees. "can you ask them to stop that?" She whispered.

"Oh ho, Tendou Nabiki, can you not see the glory that exists between sea and sky?"

"hello 'dachi. goodby 'dachi." Nabiki scooted back away from the cliff, eyes screwed tightly shut.

There was a muffled double thump. Then another hand rested gently on her head. "Oneechan?"

"Akane?"

"I'm right here."

"don't ever do that again." Nabiki opened her eyes briefly, to look at her sister, then shut them again quickly.

"Ummmm, OK." Akane agreed, not really sure what she was agreeing to.

"Sunset very nice." Nabiki opened her eyes as Shan P'u sat down beside her.

"If you like that sort of thing." She said, trying to ignore the clouds streaming across the reddening sky.

"Akane get surgery now?" Shan P'u asked, pulling Akane down between her and Nabiki as Ranma sat on her other side.

"Oh, come on. I don't need----"

"Akane make promise give daughter to Amazon Nation."

"But Akane has so many children now." Kasumi put in.

"Yeah, almost a soccer team." Rouga said from where he sat brushing Kodachi's hair.

"Team, hell. Another four and she'll have a soccer _game_ . . .with cheerleaders." Nabiki said, sighing as Taro arrived with her tea and started to rub her shoulders.

"Adopted." Shan P'u dismissed. "Amazon want child Akane body. Great fighter, good person." She twisted Akane around to face her. "You go doctor. Get fix. Have babies."

"Shan P'uuu!" Akane hissed, blushing furiously. "We can talk about----"

"No talking." Shan P'u snapped, exasperated. "Amazon Nation need new blood. You stopping great Amazon warrior born."

Grabbing Akane by the ears she pulled her face to hers for a long, long moment. Releasing the flushed girl she noted her dazed, defeated look with satisfaction.

"Obstacles are for kissing."

"Oh my, and all this time we've been translating it wrong?"

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End

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Notes:

1) the names of Nabiki's children: Shoukin: cash Genkin: ready money, mercenary Kinkai: solid gold 2)Oda is dead. Nabiki strangled him. ^_^ 3)K'e Lwun, Genma, Nodoka and Soun are all back home baby-sitting the 'soccer team' and Shan P'u's daughters. ^_^ 4)Nabiki's kids are along because they have a tendency to fly after mom & dad if they get left behind. But mostly because Nabiki is just a tad over-protective. ^_^ 5)Getting shot in the head and surviving. This has actually happened and been documented on several occasions with both humans and animals. Hitting and skidding seems to depend on velocity, shape of bullet and angle of hit. (and a LOT of luck. ^_^ ) There has also been at least one instance of a person (male) surviving a through-and-through shot to the head where the round passed _between_ the hemispheres of the brain doing minimal damage.