Sibyl
The story of Zorro is a good choice for a summer-movie hybrid of sorts. Suave Zorro is part romantic lead, part Robin Hood do-gooder, and part sword-wielding action hero. When I saw trailers for THE MASK OF ZORRO, this latest version in the book/movie/TV franchise, I was skeptical. What put me off was what seemed like a desperate attempt to work in bawdy, Benny Hill-style moments with the gorgeous damsel-in-distress getting her nightie shredded by Zorro's masterful sword. Thankfully, THE MASK OF ZORRO is much better than its trailer; it is both a superhero movie (with shades of “Batman”--not the horrible movie, but the old TV show) and a full-on period-piece romance.
ZORRO serves well as the yin to this summer's action-movie yang. Whereas movies like GODZILLA and ARMAGEDDON are confusing, shallow, and dull, ZORRO evokes the classic Hollywood big-budget pics of yesteryear, with massive sets and glorious (and completely fake-looking) sunsets and vistas. The ZORRO people were smart to go the swashbuckling, romantic, witty route, and I think people may enjoy seeing an action sequence they can understand. I found the sword fights pretty refreshing; they’re graceful, acrobatic, and well choreographed. No jittery-cams here.
Set in Mexico during the early 1800s, ZORRO finds the aging Zorro, otherwise known as Don Diego de la Vega (Anthony Hopkins), trying to protect the Mexican peasants from the reigning wealthy Spanish landowners. Don Diego mentors a rough bandito, Alejandro (Antonio Banderas), and they team up to take on Diego's enemy, Don Montero (Stuart Wilson), who stole Diego’s daughter Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones) away from him. Conveniently, Alejandro has his own score to settle with Montero's henchman, Captain Love (Matt Letscher), his sworn enemy.
So Don Diego takes Alejandro under his wing. What follows is a classic Pygmalion kind of makeover. Hopkins’s Zorro is a dashing, suave dandy, while Banderas’s Alejandro is a shaggy mess (in a terrifying, permed fright wig), who spits, cusses, and has no idea how to fight. Of course, Don Diego teaches Alejandro how to dress and behave, as well as how to master the sword and whip (oo la la). These scenes are reminiscent of the classic teacher-student sequences with Yoda and Luke Skywalker.
With soaring music (courtesy of TITANIC alum and pretender to the John Williams throne, James Horner) and huge production numbers as background, the new Zorro (Antonio, after he sheds his fright wig and begins to look damn good) wields his sword and his charm to basically save the nation and seduce the super-gorgeous Elena. The story is predictable and the bad guys ham it up like crazy. Captain Love especially confounded me. This guy is definitely an American; he looks like he bailed from one of those Civil War re-enaction events; and I just couldn’t figure out how he came to team up with the evil Don Montero. But what was truly puzzling to me, and downright distracting, was this guy's blond, hair-sprayed bob. He looks too weird. Actually, he looks like Chris Elliot with a bob and a silly costume.
THE MASK OF ZORRO is good, clean fun, a corny transformation fable with some father-son/teacher-student overtones. There’s nothing earth-shattering here, and there are lots of things that might irritate a jaded movie-goer (or one who liked ARMAGEDDON). There are downtrodden peasants who get freed; scenery-chewing bad guys who get whooped; sexy, smooth heroes; a perfect, gorgeous woman; fight scenes; sunsets; and a sequel-friendly ending. I chose to ignore the obvious use of stand-ins during the fight scenes and the endless stream of bad hair pieces (wigs, weaves, you name it).
Hopkins, Banderas, and Zeta-Jones were all good, and they seemed to be having a good time. You've got to give them credit for coping with that TOUCH OF EVIL bronzer they were all dipped in--that's the one thing I couldn't get around. What makeup-artist genius felt that everyone in the movie had to have the same “too much bronzer” skin tone? And why all that eyeliner on Anthony Hopkins?
Oh well, that's minor. ZORRO is old-school, swashbuckling fun. And it would have been even more fun if they'd kept it under two hours.
