In the Beginning...

All my life I have been a tiny little thing. Cross eyed with buck teeth, the last thing I ever worried about was my weight. For years I lived with the motto "I will eat what I want and die happy." In theory, its a good motto for you certainly don't want to deprive yourself of anything. Not until I got out of high school and into college did I realize this was a bad philosophy. Like most young women, I put on the college twenty and went from a size 7/9 to a 12/14. I never thought twice about it since I never thought I had a reason to look a certain way or be a certain size. It wasn't until my ex boyfriend had broken up with me and made jokes about how big I was did I take notice. It was then that I looked at myself and decided that I wasn't truly happy being in those jeans. It was then that I decided to get my butt into shape; not for him or anyone else...but for me.

I began counting calories and exercising daily for about 30 minutes at the beginning. And I went from 145 to 137. Awesome, I thought. But I wanted more from myself. I uped the exercise to an hour 5-6 days a week and introduced weights. I limited my calorie intake to 1200-1300 a day, which I learned after a lot of planning on my part, I could live on quite easily. With enough hard work, I got down to wear I am now...120 lbs and a size 7/9.

But more important that losing the weight was gaining back my self esteem, which I had lost somewhere in college. I made the decision when I began my health plan to think positive about myself. I used all those affirmations that some consider corny; I would look in the mirror and tell myself "I love you no matter what" and "You are beautiful just as you are." And once I started to believe it, others did too. The guys who I had always secretly lusted after took notice of me at last. Not because I was a certain size but because I had the "I am beautiful because I think so attitude." That is the key that I carry in my pocket. I am pretty because I think I am; just as you are beautiful because you think you are.

Beauty does not lie in a size or a measurement; you cannot buy it at a cosmetic counter or at a lingerie shop. True beauty comes from within you. It comes from the realization of knowing that you were created unique for a reason. It comes when you can look at what others deem laughable, such as a crooked nose or braces, and think them flattering and sexy. Curvy or straight, tall or short, large or small...all women are beautiful. No if, ands, or buts.

for a further background on me, please click here