graphic by Isis Blue

Now That I Have Found This Love

Author: August528@aol.com
Disclaimer: I do not own nor profit from this.
Distribution: My site only so far. If you want it please ask first.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: My version of what Buffy might have done one evening after sending Angel to hell. Her point of view of their sacred night together.
Feedback: It would be appreciated to hear some.
Author's Note: I might make a second part to this short story due to how I ended it. :)

Part One:

Buffy sat in front of the aging fireplace and stared deep into the harsh red flames as she waited for her lover and enemy to return to this very room. She knew it was impossible in the back of her mind but in her heart she still could not let go of the hope that something or someone out there would send her Angel back to her. For weeks now she had been experiencing vivid, emotional and tormented dreams of Angel. She told herself at first that it was due to guilt. Guilt, that she had been forced to send her lover to hell instead of the enemy who wore her lovers face but had no soul.

She stared down at her frozen fingers where she saw the shiny silver object that she hid from everyone else. She only wore it on her finger when the others were not around or on her necklace underneath one of her sweaters. She knew that they had understood her relationship with Angel but they had plenty of reason to hate Angelus. He had killed one of their own. Although Jenny had been a liar and a possible future enemy for her and Angel she had not deserved death. Jenny loved Giles. Giles loved Jenny. Buffy understood Giles grief. She also understood his anger toward Angelus. She hated him too. He had tormented her for months; he had made her feel weak, and worse of all he had not been the one she had sent to hell.

Buffy licked her dry lips as she glanced down at the algebra book she had brought with her. She knew that the others thought she was out doing her usual patrolling thing but lately she had no desire for it. Instead she would often find herself being led back to this old mansion where she would sit and read until she was too tired to stand anymore. Her grades had showed improvement. Not that she would have bragged because it would have set off some major alarms with the others. She still wasn’t sure why she hid what she was doing or the fact that she was still quite miserable over the loss of her true love? Some form of instinctive powers kept her pain silent from the others. If she knew anything it was to listen and follow her instincts.

She opened her bag to search for a number two pencil when she found something hard in the bag. Pulling the book out she frowned for a second before she realized what it was. It was not a book but a photo album that Willow had created for her as a birthday present. Opening the fuzzy purple cover she saw pictures of her first year at Sunnydale. Flipping through the pages she found herself smiling until she saw the last page.

It was the last picture she would ever have of him she thought to herself. Bitter tears stung the back of her eye lids as she gulped hard to fight back the animalistic sobs she knew would come out if she opened her mouth. Angel. Her Angel. The picture had been taken at the library where she had plopped her butt on the counter and Angel had been standing in front of her staring into her eyes. Buffy felt her entire body tremble as she remembered that day. They had been flirting and teasing one another. The photo looked like it had been taken right after her work out with Angel. Both of them seemed to be panting and glowing. The way they always looked after a good old fashion kick ass work out.

Buffy’s finger touched the photo. Her fingertip began to outline his body as she thought of their night of passion together. A tear escaped and it slid down her cool cheek and onto her lap. She began to sniffle as she remembered how gentle and caring he had been with her. The way he had tried to stop them from making a mistake so many different times before the task was completed. The way he stared so sincerely into her eyes as he entered her body and whispered, “Are you okay Buffy? Tell me the truth. We can stop at any point in time. I don’t want to hurt you”.

Buffy’s hands shook until she felt the book fall out of them. Her head hung low as she closed her eyes tightly and began to remember every little detail of that first and last night together.

They had just both admitted to loving one another out loud. Both had felt the tremendous bliss that roared between their hearts. Buffy had placed her hand over his mouth to prevent him from trying to rationalize what they were about to do. She was tired of doing the right thing. She wanted to do what felt right for a change. She was tired of contemplating the positives and negatives about loosing her virginity to a vampire with a soul. She only knew that no mortal man had ever made her quake in her stylish but affordable boots the way this immortal had. He was her equal in every way imaginable. She was free to be her true self when she was in his presence. It was such a nice change from having to play immature mind games with the guys of her own age and humanity.

With Angel you got what you saw. They had already gone through the usual surprises that most couples discovered about one another but in such a short time. Their love had been tested and together they had beaten the odds.

Buffy released his mouth from her hand and covered it with her own mouth. Her hands slid into the back of his thick hair. She felt her fingers digging into his scalp as she pushed her mouth further into his. It was in his kiss that she felt so protected and loved. She always thought if she had to die this was how she would prefer to go, in his arms with their bodies entwined.

Take me over

I'm lying down

I'm giving in to you

I'm a hurricane

I can't describe this feeling

His strong cool hands held onto the side of her head as his moan slipped in between his mouth into their own. With their lips locked as one and their tongues dancing together both felt the incredible sensation that was mixed with fear, excitement, and passion flowing through their veins. Buffy pulled away slightly as she gasped for air. Angel opened his eyes to stare into the passionate pair of green ones before him. Both knew that this next step would be irreversible once it was completed. Buffy smiled gently at him as she picked up his hand and placed it onto the hem of her shirt. She hoped he would understand that this was her way of saying go ahead. Angel gulped hard as he shook his head in agreement. His fingers slid the shirt above her head in a slow motion. He wanted to remember every second of this moment together between them.

His eyes took in every inch of her bare chest before him. It was so beautiful and warm even to his eyes. With a slow steady movement he reach out and cupped one of her firm, tan breasts. Buffy’s body trembled and her heart began to race. Angel smiled softly as he watched her head fall back and her eyes close shut. Leaning over her he wasted no time in slipping the hardened rose-colored nipple into his mouth. Her flesh was so warm and inviting to his senses.

Now that I've found this love

I'll do anything for you

Now that I've found this love

Buffy let out a delightful gasp as she felt the softness of his mouth covering her breast. They had made out plenty of times but this was the first time she had her shirt off completely and sat there boldly before him half naked. Angel growled as he flicked his tongue over the rosy bud. Buffy’s fingers ran through his hair as she quivered and shook from the small climaxes he was creating within her.

His mouth slipped away and began to make tiny little kisses that led to the top button of her pants. Buffy leaned back to give him easier access to removing them. Buffy was completely nude before his eyes as he slipped off the silky panties with his teeth. Buffy forced her eyes to stay locked with his as she watched the emotions sweep across his face. His love was so pure for her and she felt as if she would melt from the flames she saw raging in his eyes. Licking his lips he began to slide his tongue up her legs until it found the core center of her. With one flick of his tongue Buffy’s arm had collapsed and she was laying flat on her back with her legs bending at the knees over his cold muscular shoulders. Her hands clenched the covers as she fought back the embarrassment of knowing what he was doing to her while the other part of her felt the pleasure and gave in completely to it.

“Annngggell…” She moaned in a whisper.

Angel heard the pleading in her voice and felt him self aroused. He began to growl into the silky flesh of womanhood. Buffy’s hip came up off the bed as she screamed out with the burst of heat that soared throughout her body. Angel smiled victoriously as he knew he was the only man to give her such pleasure.

When she opened her eyes she saw that like her he was now naked. Buffy shook her head in amazement. She had always known he had a great body but what she saw before her made her wonder if he was one of a kind. Angel took her hand and helped her to the end of the bed where the pillows lay. He crawled underneath the covers placing him on top of her but making sure he did not put his entire weight on her. He kissed her forehead and then trailed down to the sides of her face as his hands slid along her body with a sensual motion.

“I love you Buffy.” He whispered in her ear.

“I love you too my Angel.” Buffy replied as she marveled at the feel of his body beneath her soft warm hands.

“Always.” Angel vows.

“Always.” She agreed.

She felt his legs pushing hers apart. She looked deep into his eyes and knew that this man was a part of her destiny. This vampire/man was her soul mate. There would never be another man who could replace him in her heart. None would come as close as he had.

I'm a fire, burning like a house aflame

I am motionless

I can't move or see you fly

Now that I've found this love

I'll do anything for you

Now that I've found this love

The pain had only been momentary while the pleasure had seemed never ending. Together their bodies and soul had become one. She felt the darkness and the light of their love behind her closed eyes as waves after waves of blissful ecstasy filled her body. They had both reached the highest climax together. Buffy felt the entire room disappear around them, as they seemed to soar to a higher level of love. Once both of their bodies had quit shivering from the magical passion that they had shared was the moment that they both knew would be the hardest.

“I …did I hurt you?” Angel looked at her with concern written all over his face.

“The screams you heard were not of pain. I promise you.” Buffy leaned up and kissed him gently on the mouth.

“I hope you know that I have never, ever experienced anything quite like this.” Angel’s eyes glistened with tears as he considered the honor she had bestowed on him by giving him her virtue. A slayer had given him, a monster of a man, the most beautiful and pure thing known to mankind. It was more than just sex to him. It was, well, it was happiness, a sheer moment of happiness. He felt not so much a monster but a mere man when he was with her. He could forget that a demon lived within him when he was with her like this.

“I know you have had sex.” Buffy teased him.

“Yes, I have had sex Buffy but never have I had a woman as virtuous and loving as you. You make me feel alive Buffy. I’m more than the monster when I am with you. I am a stronger man with your love. You have opened a door for me that I could never have even hoped for. I hope to find redemption within your lifetime Buffy. I want to be a real man with you. I want to walk in the sun with you. I want to plant my seed within you and know that life might blossom from it. You are my happiness. You, my darling, are my hope that this world will someday be a better world for all the sacrifices you and I have both made.” Angel felt the tears slip down his face.

Take me over, I'm lying down

I'm giving in

I'm a hurricane

Hurricane

Buffy felt her own tears sliding down the sides of her face as she listened to his words of love and happiness. She smiled at him, as she understood all that he said.

“I know. I do. When I am with you I am more than just a confused teenager or a vampire slayer. I am a woman who desires and longs for things that I know will be mine someday. When I grow weary of having to face another night of repetitive patrolling I remind myself that with each demon I kill I come closer to helping you find a way to redeem yourself. That one day hearing your heart beat will be my reward for all that I have done and lost. I love you.” Buffy wiped away the tears from his face as he lowered his body over hers and lying together they hold on tightly to one another as the storm outside continued to rage.

Now that I've found this love

I'll do anything for you

Buffy opened her eyes and sees that the fire had gone out. How long had she been there remembering everything? How many tears had she shed since he had left this world? Her sobs echoed through out the vacant mansion. Taking her fists she pounds them on the concrete slabs beneath them.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” She throws her head back and shouts toward the ceiling.

“Why God? Why can’t I have one good thing to hold on to? Have I not proven myself worthy enough yet? Why does the slayer have to give up so much in order to give the entire world so little?” Buffy shouts angrily as she thrashes her fist into the concrete until they are completely numb with pain.

Buffy feels the anger starting to fade as she grabs her things and stands up. Turning around in a small circle she looks around the room and all she could see was darkness.

Slipping the ring off of her finger she walks to the exact spot where she had shoved the sword through Angel. Wiping away her tears she bent down and placed the ring on the cold floor.

“I would do anything for you Angel. I would do anything for our love. I hope you know that you are and always will be my only true love. I swear I will remember you until the last breath has left my body. I have to move forward now. I will not let your death go in vain. I will continue to fight the battle for the both of us. ” Buffy vows as she pulls herself up and gives the ring one more glance before walking away.

“I will always be your girl.” Buffy says out loud as she turns on her heels and forces her legs to move and to take her out of this building. She feels the cool night air blow against her body. She forces her head up as she heads toward her house. She tells herself that life must go on. Angel would have moved on even though it would have hurt like hell he would have not quit fighting the battle between good and evil. Like him she could not either. For his love would always be within her and no one could ever take that way and that would be enough for now.

Seconds after the slayer had left the mansion a roar of thunder came booming throughout the house as a bright light opened from the ceiling of the room and down came a body from who knows where. Angel fights the pain as he tries to open his eyes to see where he had been sent. His body trembled with fear and hunger. Looking down he saw that he was naked. Fearing what sort of torture would come next he jumped up on his feet and began to rush like a wild animal. Lost and scared he prayed he would be able to hide from the demons that had found joy in his misery. His head was full of faces, screams, and the demon within him shouted to be released. Angel shook his head as he pushed back the demon and began to hunt before he became the hunted.

The End…

Please let me know what you thought!!!!! I’m considering a part two to this one if people respond to this story. Thanks for all the support.

Send feedback:  august528@aol.com

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