graphic by Isis Blue

Everything

Author: August528@aol.com
Rating: PG-13/NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not make NO money from this.
Summary: Buffy returns home after she ran away the night before her wedding to a close friend Xander. When she returns she learns that Xander moved on with Willow and that his b/f Angel has been deeply in love with her.
Couples: B/A X/W
Feedback: Please let me know if you have read this story by sending me feedback or signing by guest book. Thank you so much!!!

Buffy sat in the back of the large cathedral. She watches as the bride and groom exchange their vows. Her heart breaking with each word spoken. Tears slid down her face as she thought of the wedding she almost had with the same groom. She slipped out before the couple was to walk out of the church hand in hand. Tears streaming down her face she race out of the church.

The best man had spied the familiar face in the back of the room. He couldn’t believe she had come for this day. He was surprised she had the balls to show up in town, period. She had always amazed him. After the wedding reception was done he congratulated the couple and headed to the hotel where he was sure she would be staying now that her parents had sold their house and moved to Britain.

“Hello Mr. Wright.” The young man behind the desk address his employer.

“Hello Andrew. Is there a Buffy Summers check in here?” He asks.

“Yes sir there is.” Andrew quickly answered.

“What room?” Angel asks.

“She is in room 115.” Andrew replied.

“Thank you.” Angel headed toward the elevator and jump on.

When he reaches the third floor he headed toward the left. He knew all of these rooms by heart. Room 115 was a penthouse suite. This room was truly expensive for most of his guests. How in the world had Buffy Summers establish the sort of money to pay for a suite like this?

Knocking on the door he waits a few minutes before it is opened. Standing there in front of him is the very woman who had stolen his heart many years ago and had no clue of it. She partly didn’t know because he made appoint to never let her know since she was dating his best friend and he had dated some of her friends.

“Angel?” Buffy frown as she look at him with red puffy eyes.

“Buffy. I thought it was you.” Angel smiled weakly as he looked at how miserable she appeared.

“Can I come in?” Angel asks.

“Sure.” Buffy agrees as she steps back and allows him inside.

She shuts the door and heads back to the mini bar in the room.

“Would you care for a drink?” She offers.

Angel notices she has empty a few beers and was now working on tequila shots.

“NO thanks.” Angel chuckled.

“So how did you know I was back and that this was my room?” Buffy asks a bit suspicious.

“I saw you at the wedding.” Angel announces.

Buffy freezes as she looks at him with a pair of frighten eyes.

“Don’t fret he didn’t see you.” Angel answers the question he knows that is running in her head.

“Good.” Buffy sighs with relief.

“I knew you were here because there are only three hotels in this town and I happen to own this one.” Angel explains proudly.

“Really? This place is yours? It’s gorgeous.” Buffy smiled at him, with an impress glance around the suite.

“Thank you. So tell me why did you show up today?” Angel asks concern.

“Actually it’s a funny story. I came back because I was going to propose to Xander and offer him my love. I was going to explain to him that I had found that I can make it on my own and that I didn’t have to have him in my life in order to exist but that I needed him in it.” Buffy explains as she downs her third shot of tequila.

“Wow you would have really blown his mind with that speech.” Angel answered as he sits back staring at her boldly.

“Thanks. I thought it sounded good in theory. Of course I arrive and learn that he is marrying my old best friend, Willow. There is irony in that.” Buffy laughs.

“You knew that Willow and Xander were just as close as you two. The only difference was he wanted you and couldn’t see how Willow felt about him. When you left his eyes were open and Willow got her dream come true.” Angel explained with a bitter smile.

“Do you not like her?” Buffy asks confused.

“Of course I like Willow. I just always thought you were the one that had lit his little heart up.” Angel admits.

“Yeah, well I lit it up and burn it to the stake.” Buffy stumbles to the couch and sits down to pour herself a glass of champagne.

She hands one to Angel.

“Lets have a toast.” Buffy announces drunkenly.

“You go first.” Angel offers.

“To happiness that only the lucky ones find.” Buffy says as her voice croaks and fresh tears fill her eyes.

“I have one better. How about to fate and to love may they bring all soul mates together.” Angel offers instead.

“That’s pretty sappy. Your good.” Buffy snorts.

“I’m serious. Fate, destiny, love they all have to be aligned in order to find that perfect person for you.” Angel stated.

“Well I must have missed that in class. Oh well I guess I fuck up and didn’t get my alignment in order.” Buffy slurs with anger.

“Maybe you were suppose to show Xander he could be loved by a beautiful girl like yourself. Maybe together you two were both to learn a valuable lesson but weren’t meant to last forever.” Angel offers his theory.

“What are you a physiatrist?” Buffy frowns at his wise words.

“Shit I would grow weary of hearing people complain all day.” Angel laughs.

“I’m an investor/architect.” Angel answers.

“What do you do now?” Angel asks curiously.

“At first I did a bit of odd jobs and then I found my calling. I run a temp agency. I help people find work whether it is part time or full. It’s a twenty-four hour job some weeks.” Buffy answers him.

“Wow, sounds interesting.” Angel replies.

“Yeah, well I wanted to do something different but I didn’t have the funds for it.” Buffy comments.

“What is that?” Angel asks now growing quite curious about the woman who had left town over two years ago.

“I’ve always wanted to open up a B and B close to the ocean.” Buffy answers.

“Something cozy, romantic and with good scenery. Not a bad ideal.” Angel admits.

“Thanks. But it costs money and I didn’t have it.” Buffy replies with a hiccup.

“What about your step-father he didn’t want to help support your dream?” Angel asks as he recalls Giles having some money saved up from his retirement.

“Haha! After what they paid for the wedding that I didn’t show up for I didn’t dare ask them.” Buffy sighed sadly.

“I see.” Angel answers sympathetically.

“Do you? Do you really? Cause I sure as hell can’t remember why I left like I did?” Buffy starts to cry.

“So why did you leave?” Angel asks curious. It had been a question that a lot of people had carried around for the first month she had left.

“Because Angel, I ..I..was scared of being with him. Not that he would have hurt me but more afraid that I might hurt him. I had dated several guys in school. You know that of course. Then when my best friend Xander exposed his true feelings for me I was so flattered. I could trust him. I knew that he would protect me. It felt so damn good to know that there was someone who truly knew me and still loved me.” Buffy pauses as she sits her glass down.

“And that was bad how?” Angel asks.

“It was bad because as I stood looking at myself in the mirror wearing my wedding dress I realized that I had never been on my own. I had always had friends, guys, and even my family to count on. I was worried that I couldn’t make it on my own. I didn’t want to be dependent on Xander or anyone else for that matter. I needed time to find myself. Who was the real Buffy Summers? Who was she with out all those people to protect her? Then I found out I was the same person but less lucky.” Buffy sobs.

“Less lucky?” Angel looks puzzled.

“Less lucky because I was all alone and still miserable. I survived but I realized there was nothing wrong to have people to lean on with things got tough.” Buffy answers.

“Sounds like you discover more than just yourself but a key lesson in life.” Angel states matter of factly.

“Yep. Now here I am sitting in a hotel with no friends, a family that lives a continent away and no lover. I got what I wanted.” Buffy laughs sarcastically as the tears began to flood out of her eyes.

Angel couldn’t stand it a second more, he got up and sat next to her. Pulling her into his arms he held her as she cried her little heart out.

“Your not alone and you can still make amends with your friends. I think they have missed you just as much.” Angel speaks encourage into her ear.

“But Xander?” Buffy sobs into his chest.

“Xander might become your friend again but I do not see any chance for you two to share anything more than that.” Angel admits.

“What do I do now?” Buffy asks as she pulls him closer to her.

“You take it one day at a time.” Angel advises.

“I don’t know if I can bare it.” Buffy reveals.

“You can. You have already proven you are strong and independent. Now you just need to mix that with allowing people to be in your life and heart.” Angel answers as he kisses the top of her head.

“Thank you for coming here.” Buffy looks up at him with swollen eyes.

“That’s what friends are for.” He reminds her with a gentle smile.

“I’ve missed that.” Buffy says as she lays her head back on his chest and falls fast asleep.

Angel debates on whether or not to move her to her bed or just let her sleep there but his heart doesn’t want him to move her at all. He enjoys having her lay like this next to him. So instead she just closes his eyes and falls asleep with her.

Chapter Two:

When Buffy woke up the next morning she wondered if she had dreamed her discussion with Angel last night when she finds herself alone. Then she spies a note on top of the table with a silver platter, containing fresh coffee and bagels with strawberries. Buffy smiles at the way he had remember what she liked for breakfast.

Pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee and popping a fresh strawberry in her mouth she opens the letter.

Buffy,

I’m sorry I had to leave before you woke up. I had some things I had to do early this morning. If you decide to stay in town I would love to take you out for dinner and help you mend those broken fences. You still have a friend in me. I am at your service for anything you need while you stay here. Do not worry about the bill I already have it covered.

Sincerely, Angel.

Buffy sits the note back down as she picks up the bagel and puts butter on it and chews on a bite.

She wonders why Angel is being so kind to her? She knew how close Xander and Angel had become over the last few years. Why wasn’t he mad that she had nearly destroyed his heart and abandoned him? She and Angel had never been that close while growing up but she had always thought he was kind. She knew that most of the girls at Sunnydale High thought he was a dreamboat. In fact he had dated one of her somewhat friends for nearly a year and was surprised when the two of them had suddenly broken up.

She begins to wonder if she should stay for awhile and try to mend the fences between herself and her oldest, dearest friends before she return home? Her assistant could handle everything while she was away. Looking around the room that was for free and thought that it would be nice to have a vacation. She had been so busy creating her new company that she had not taken the time to spend one the entire time she had been away.

With a weak smile she got up and took a shower and change clothes. She went downstairs to acquire on when or where Angel might be to the young clerk behind the desk. He told her that Angel had several businesses in town and that since it was Friday he was probably at the club he owned.

Buffy got in her car and headed to the location she was given. She noticed how the town had made a few changes here and there. Still, it was the same place she remembered. It had once been her haven. The one true place she felt safe and content. Now she feared seeing anyone who might remember she was the girl who fled town and left a groom at the altar.

Pulling into the club parking lot she went inside. She saw a few employees cleaning up the place when she entered.

“Excuse me I’m looking for Angel Wright.” Buffy asks one of them.

“He is in his office.” The guy points to the close door in the back of the room.

Buffy taps on the door.

“Come in.” he replies as he keeps his head buried in the computer trying to figure out his profits thus far this month.

“Hey.” Buffy said cheerily.

Angel’s head popped up with a surprised smile.

“Yeah, I thought I should at least take a small vacation from work and thought I see what it is you do with your days.” Buffy explains her sudden appearance.

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. Sorry about leaving you like that.” Angel apologizes.

“Thank you for staying with me. I really needed a ear last night.” Buffy answers as she sits in the chair across from him.

“I’m glad I could help.” Angel admits.

“So you own a hotel, a club, and why do I feel as if there is more?” Buffy teases him.

“Well, I also own a small shop that Cordelia runs. I am involved with a business deal to open up a few more restaurants in town.” Angel smiles proudly.

“You have done really well for yourself.” Buffy informs him with a sweet smile.

“Thanks. Luckily, the bank supported my ideals or I wouldn’t have all of this.” Angel explains.

“Very lucky.” Buffy glances around the office and notices how blank and blabby it looks.

“What’s wrong?” Angel sees the frown.

“I was just wondering why your office wasn’t more a live. I mean there is no color or pictures.” Buffy pointed out.

“I haven’t had the time and I suck at the stuff.” Angel admits guiltily.

“Hire someone.” Buffy suggested.

“How would you feel about decorating my offices?” Angel offered her the job.

“Are you serious?” Buffy frowns.

“Seriously. I have four offices at the moment and they all pretty much look like this one.” Angel confesses.

“It would be fun. I always love painting and changing my own apartment around several times a year.” Buffy informs him.

“Really then the job is yours.” Angel states with confidence.

“What if you don’t like it?” Buffy thinks out loud.

“Trust me I think you have enough talent to make me happy with anything you do with it.” Angel swallows hard as he looks deep into her eyes.

“Cool. It will give me something to do while I’m visiting.” Buffy agrees.

“Great. Here is my card and just charge what ever you need. Funds are no problems but try to keep with the minimum.” He laughs.

“No problem. Which other offices do you have?” Buffy asks with a sparkle in here eyes.

“Come we will go look at them.” Angel offers as he saves his information and grabs his key.

“We can go in my car.” Angel offers remembering how poorly she drove in High School.

“Okay.” Buffy accepts. She is excited to have a task to keep her mind off of what she lost and what she might not ever had again. The two of them set out to see what the other offices look like to give her a ideal of how she should decorate each of them.

Chapter Three:

Buffy was deeply impressed with the wealth and success that Angel had made on his own. Although her business did well it was nowhere near the same amount as Angel’s. She had enjoyed looking at his offices and with each of them she figured a different theme would fit nicely. He had the office at the club, office at the Hotel, an office at his small architect firm and of course his own personal office in his penthouse. She had gone back to her room to draw up a few ideals when she had lost track of time when Angel arrived to take her out for dinner.

“Let me change real fast.” Buffy pleaded as he came into the room.

Angel set down and looked at her sketches and was impressed with her ideals. Good to her room she was back with in ten minutes. He noticed she changed out of the jeans and threw on a floor length black skirt that slit up on the side and a tight black silk top that left her arms bare. She was wearing a classic out fit. You could go anywhere in it and fit in.

“So where would you like to go?” Angel asks.

“Surprise me.” Buffy smiled with twinkles in her eyes.

They drove out of Sunnydale to the next town where Angel took her to a cute little Italian restaurant.

“So why here?” Buffy asks after they are seated.

“Well, I came here once on my way home and I fell in love with it. In fact it inspired me to consider the world of restaurants.” Angel replied as he poured them both a glass of red wine.

“I see.” Buffy sips on the wine.

Angel ordered for them both.

“I thought I would let you know that Xander and Willow left this morning for their honeymoon and will return this weekend.” Angel stated as he looked at her eyes across that were shimmering from the candlelight.

“Thanks.” Buffy sighed.

“Well, I didn’t want you to worry you would run into them.” Angel explained.

“I understood.” Buffy smiles weakly at him as she took another sip.

“Good. Look, I won’t blow smoke up your ass I really was upset when you left Xander the way you did. It was hard watching him feel so rejected. It hurt his ego pretty bad. Although I assured him that it wasn’t about him that like you wrote it was about you. Still, it crushed him. Luckily, Willow was there to pick up the pieces. When Willow started dating some other guy Xander got really jealous and that is when he realized he felt something for her. I think the reason you never got an invitation was because Willow wouldn’t have wanted to hurt you. I’m sure she figured that it would have made you feel like she was rubbing your nose in it.” Angel gave his theory.

“Your probably right. I’m sure Xander didn’t want me there either to jinx another wedding for him.” Buffy looked down at the table with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry but I always felt you and Xander were more connected as friends. Xander was constantly freaking out about loosing you. I had often feared in the past that he would loose you by pushing you away with his constant jealousy.” Angel decided to be frank with her.

“That did bother me in the beginning but then I realized that he had fought for me for so long that he was just insecure. That once we were married he would calm down.” Buffy admitted with a sheepish smile.

“What ever with you and Cordelia?” Buffy remembered him saying that he own a shop that Cordelia ran.

“Cordy and I were just too different. I liked her smart business views but I didn’t like her personal side. She was too demanding and constantly needy of all my time and attention. She began to feel more like a annoying fly than a girlfriend. We broke up shortly after you left and agreed to stay friends.” Angel answered.

Their food was placed in front of them. Buffy took a bite of the dish that Angel had ordered for her. Buffy’s eyes rolled in the back of her head with pleasure.

“It tastes so gooood.” Buffy moans.

“I told you.” Angel smiles proudly of his choice.

“Mmmm…” Buffy sips on her wine and then digs into the plate in front of her.

With in minutes she had cleaned her plate while Angel was only half way through his.

“You haven’t lost your big appetite.” Angel noted with a grin.

“Sorry, I haven’t eaten since breakfast.” Buffy confesses.

“I’m just teasing.” Angel smiled tenderly at her as he poured them both another glass of wine.

“Would you care for dessert?” Angel asks.

“NO, Oh no.” Buffy shook her head as she placed her hand over her full contented stomach.

“I will get the bill then and after we finish our wine we can head back.” Angel replies as he nods for the waiter to bring the check by.

“So tell me Buffy, surely you dated while you were gone?” Angel had been pondering on this question all day long.

“Sorta. I mean I went out on a couple of dates but nothing really serious.” Buffy admitted.

“Why didn’t you just call Xander and talk to him after you left?” Angel continues to question her.

“I honestly knew if I heard his voice I would want to come back home. I would come back though due to guilt and fear. I wanted to know for sure that I could make it on my own and give us some time a part to see if it was meant to be. Obviously it wasn’t.” Buffy sighs.

“I hate to be the one who breaks this to you but we all encourage Xander to move on.” Angel looks at her with a frighten look in his eyes.

“Why?” Buffy frowns.

“Because Buffy, I honestly didn’t think you would come back single. You’re a beautiful, smart, and sweet woman who any man would want to snatch up.” Angel explained.

“Uh?” Buffy stared at him as if she was just seeing him for the first time.

“Which part did I loose you yet?” Angel asks.

“The part where you said beautiful.” Buffy spoke softly.

“Come on Buffy you know your beautiful.” Angel rolled his eyes as he pulled out his wallet to give his Visa card then placed it the bill tray.

“I know…I mean I don’t consider myself ugly but you think I’m beautiful?” Buffy stumbles with her words.

“Of course I do.” Angel replies casually.

“Wait a minute. What is your definition of beautiful?” Buffy suddenly thought of Angel’s past relationship with Cordelia who was indeed pretty on the outside but extremely ugly in the inside.

“Uh? Beautiful is just beautiful. There are many different ways to define the word. It would depend on what you’re looking at.” Angel stated then wondered if that had made any sense to her because he wasn’t sure if he made sense.

“Then tell me how you came to define me as beautiful.” Buffy challenged him as she looked him straight in the eyes.

“Well…. your funny and your sweet…. your of course beautiful to the eyes…then there is that compassionate side of you. You don’t purposely set out to hurt people you don’t look down on those who are not as beautiful or as smart as you.” Angel stared back into her eyes as he gave her the definition she was wanting.

“OH. Well, in that case thank you.” Buffy felt her stomach starting to tingle at the way he describe her. She had noticed how light brown his eyes were and she also noted for the first time how beautiful and soft they were when they look at her. So sweet and tender. She shook her head to push those sort of ideals how out of her head. Angel was after all Xander’s best friend. They could never have anything if they wanted she told her self. Then she reminded her self that Willow was once her best friend too. So why couldn’t it work out for her and Angel if could work out for them?

“Lets go.” Angel coughed nervously as butterflies began to swirl around in his stomach as he watch Buffy staring at him with eyes that she once use to look at Xander with. He knew that look. He couldn’t do this to Xander. He couldn’t do this to him self. He had always been crazy about Buffy but now was not the right timing. She would be just rebounding from the loss of Xander. Anything that happens between them wouldn’t be right. Right?

Chapter Four:

Angel had dropped Buffy off at her room and explained he had some calls to make and he would see her in the morning. She thanks him for dinner and went in her room.

Angel had a couple of calls to make but none of them were business related. He wanted to call and check on Xander and Willow for one. Then he needed to call his mom and see how she was doing now that she had moved to New York to be closer to her ailing mother. He wasn’t sure why but he had been so frighten to be so close to her. He felt as if he was in High School again. A fumbling teenager with over loads of hormones coursing through out his body. Angel had always thought highly of Buffy but unlike now back in High School he was a fumbling idiot in the beginning. He was pimpled face with braces. He was tall and skinny. He was horrible to look at and yet there she sat beside him in Freshman English always talking to him and always inviting him to parties she was having. He had almost made it to one of them but chickened out at the last minute.

Then he had joined the baseball team. He loved it. By his sophomore year his muscles had began to show and he had made some friends with the jocks. They had encouraged him to join the football team, which he did. The pimples went away with the proper medication and he had his hair done in the latest fashion. He got a part time job, three days a week after school to pick up some extra cash and bought him some nicer clothes. Instantly by the mid semester of his sophomore year he was popular.

Buffy of course treated him no differently. She still included him in her parties like before. Except this time around he went to them. He became close friends with her friends. Then like a fool he had been so flattered that a girl like Cordelia Chase had showed him attention that he begun to date her. He hated the way she talked about Buffy and her friends. After he put his foot down to inform her that he liked them and they were his friends she shut her mouth about them. At least in front of him.

Buffy and Cordelia were like night and day. Yet he didn’t want to be lonely or unpopular again so she continues with his relationship with Cordelia until about six months after graduation. Cordelia was going to go to college and he had no doubts that she was not going to be faithful while away. When Buffy began to date Xander he was a bit shock. Xander wasn’t popular. Buffy was. How could this be he had wondered a million times over? Then he saw the bond between them. Xander chased after her like a dog on drugs trying to get its daily fix. Angel didn’t blame him either.

Then when he proposed to her the day before graduation he was shocked. They were both so young and had yet to see the real world outside of High School. Still, he and Xander had become best friends so he had been supportive. It had hurt him just as much as it had hurt Xander when Buffy had ran away. She had taken the very light out of their worlds. Now she was back and he had a chance to know what it was like to be showered in that light.

Yet he was so scared to even touch it. She was still as sweet as ever but you could tell that the world had been rough with her and he had admired the way she had manage to make something out of her own life on her own. He was very proud of her. Hell, he could even relate to it. Still, if Xander learn that Angel was in love with the very woman who had torn his world upside down he wasn’t sure if he could forgive him. Angel didn’t want to loose Xander’s friendship but he didn’t want to loose his one chance of being with Buffy either. How many times would fate give him this opportunity? NONE. He pick up the phone and dial Xander’s cell phone debating on whether he should tell him that Buffy was back in town yet? Or if he should just wait and see if she would be gone before they even returned?

Chapter Five:

Buffy called her partner to let her know what was going on and why wasn’t she was returning right away.

“Summers Agency.” Faith answered.

“Hey Faith, it’s me.” Buffy felt such pride in hearing someone say her company’s name out loud.

“Hey chicken head where are you?” Faith asks as she starts a fresh pot of coffee.

“Well, it didn’t go as planned. Are you ready for this? When I arrived I learn that Xander was getting married THAT day.” Buffy paused.

“HOLY SHIT!” Faith cried out.

“Yep. To put the icing on the cake he married my best friend Willow.” Buffy sighed.

Faith nearly dropped the empty pot.

“OH B that sucks! Why are you still there?” Faith exclaimed.

“Because I’m taking a vacation. They are on their honeymoon. I watch them get married then slipped out. I’m staying at a hotel that is owned by Xander’s best friend and one of my friends. He saw me at the church but didn’t tell Xander. He has offered me to help him out while I’m here. I’m decorating his offices for him.” Buffy answered.

“Okay let me get this straight. You are staying with Xander’s best friend who is letting you work for him? B we get jobs for people we don’t get them for our selves?” Faith laughed.

“I know! I like being here with him…I mean here right now.” Buffy frowned at her own mistake.

“You so said HIM. Let me guess he is so hot and your thinking “hey he can marry my best friend then I can just his best friends bones” sort of scenario?” Faith asks with a wicked smile.

“NOOOO! Far from that. I mean sure Angel is considered handsome. He has made a nice small fortune for himself and he did by owning different business’s which I was thinking that maybe we could get him to help us out with the whole finding work for our customers thing.” Buffy recovered quickly. She just hoped Faith believed her.

“What ever B. Hey if you can get us some work for the customers who work in between the area that would be great. Trust me B you deserve to have some fun even if the guy happen to be your ex’s best friend. Xander moved on, it’s time that you did too.” Faith sighed.

“I know thanks Faith. Call me if you need me.” Buffy smiled.

“You bet. I want all details or even a picture of this man when your return.” Faith teased her.

“I’ll try my best.” Buffy laughed as she hung up the phone.

Buffy remembers the first time she met Faith and how deeply frighten she had been of the street tough girl. Then they began to hang out and even shared an apartment. She tried to convince Faith to go in business with her and she just requested for a job for her help but nothing more. She admitted she didn’t stay in one town for too long this was a complete first for her. Buffy had felt safe and yet adventurous when she was around Faith. Faith and Willow were so different in so many different ways but at times when she was with Faith she would think of Willow. The night she left town when she arrived at the hotel she called Willow to ask her to help sooth things with Xander and Willow had let her know clearly with out any doubts she was pissed off and how selfish she thought she was being. Buffy never called again. She had wanted to so badly. Still she wasn’t about to put her heart out where it was not wanted. Now she knew why Willow had been so severely pissed off at her. Cause Willow was in love with Xander. Always had been.

Chapter 6:

Buffy set out to the local stores to try and find a few things on her list. She figured some of this stuff might have to come from a flea market or she would have to call to one of the major stores in L.A. to get it.

She had walked into the local paint and wallpaper store where she had been a dozen times with her mother.

“Hi, can I help you?” Mrs. Adams asked the young lady who walked in.

“Mrs. Adams?” Buffy turn to look at the lady whose hair had went from a dark black to gray almost over night.

“Do I know you?” Mrs. Adams looked the young lady over.

“It’s Buffy. Buffy Summers.” Buffy bit down on her lower lip as she waited for her first response since coming back.

“Buffy Summers! Come here and give me a hug. I have missed your mothers business dearly.” Mrs. Adams teases.

“I bet.” Buffy laughs back.

“You look so great! I always knew you would only blossom into a more beautiful woman.” Mrs. Adams smiles tenderly at the little girl she had practically watched grow up before her own eyes.

“Why are you here dear?” Mrs. Adams had not heard of Buffy buying a house.

“I’m actually here for just a short while but while I’m here I am helping Angel Wright with decorating his offices.” Buffy explained.

“You have your mothers genes.” Mrs. Adams shook her head with a wide grin on her face.

“Well, they were so bare. I couldn’t stand it.” Buffy giggled.

“Lets go to the back where you can look through some of the books. I’m sure you already have an ideal what you’re wanting.” Mrs. Adams chuckled knowing the Summer women all too well.

“You know me.” Buffy set down and pulled out the notebook and pen she brought with her.

“Let me know when you are done.” Mrs. Adams heard the door chime letting her know another customer had come in.

“Will do.” Buffy agreed as she buried herself in the books.

Buffy wasn’t sure how much time had gone by while she looked through the stacks of books that she had been given but she was hungry by the time she found the last one she was looking for. Feeling pleased that she accomplished the first goal on her list she walked up to the counter where Mrs. Adams smiled at her.

“Finally found what you wanted.” She asks.

“You bet. I had a few ideals but then of course I saw a few others and you know how that goes.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Of course.” She laughed.

“Here are all the numbers and catalogs that I found them in. When you get all of these in just call me and I will have someone to help me pick it all up.” Buffy handed her the list.

“Okay. Let me just ring it up.” Mrs. Adams rang up the order.

Buffy handed her Angel’s visa card.

“Wow, he gave you the Visa.” Mrs. Adams looked impressed.

“What do you mean?” Buffy frown.

“Just between you and me, Cordelia was pissed that he gave her a check. He didn’t allow her to spend more than he budgeted for her shop.” Mrs. Adams explained.

“Really.” Buffy smirked.

“Truly.” Mrs. Adams chuckled.

“Well, I am flattered then that he trusts me more than her.” Buffy smiled.

“Me too.” Mrs. Adam’s eyes sparkled.

Buffy gave her the room number where she was staying and then headed out to fine somewhere to eat lunch before she headed to her next stop.

She had just opened her the door to her car when a silver jag pulled up next to her. A tall brunette stepped out looking pissed off at the world as she stepped out in her designer outfit that could feed a country of starving children.

“As I live and breathe. I can’t believe my eyes.” Cordelia Chase glared at Buffy.

“Well believe them.” Buffy turn and looked at her. Buffy grip the door hard as she prepared her self for a fight. Cordelia had never liked her before and she was sure she didn’t like her now.

“How could you come back to town and show your miserable little face?” Cordelia asks with a sarcastic glare.

“The same way you keep yours here.” Buffy snapped back.

“You were and always will be a little misunderstood bitch.” Cordelia shouts.

“Well, at least I’m not a cock teasing cold as ice bitch.” Buffy shouts back.

People who were walking down the street were shock at the shouts they were hearing.

“Oh I will so enjoy squishing you like a bug. I can’t wait until Willow comes home and kicks your ass.” Cordelia smiles with venom.

Buffy was shock at what Cordelia had just said to her that she was at loss for words.

“Cordelia why are you here?” Buffy asks with a boring tone.

“Because I heard that you were in town and staying in Angel’s hotel. I wanted to see why you were here?” Cordelia states.

“Why is it your business again?” Buffy asks.

“Look, while you were off doing what ever the hell you were doing I actually became friends with your ex friends.” Cordelia smiled with a smug look across her face.

“So?” Buffy shrug her shoulders. It had hurt to hear Cordy call her friends “ex-friends” it stung like hell but Buffy wasn’t about to let her see the pain.

“So, I think you should leave before they get back from their honeymoon. You know they are trying to conceive their first child.” Cordelia replies with a victorious smile.

Buffy felt her heart hit the ground at this sudden announcement.

“I’m glad for them. I truly am. I’m even more glad that I didn’t marry Xander because then Willow would never have gotten her hands on him.” Buffy gave Cordelia a equal smile.

“You wish! You know the man would have seen through you before long and kick you to the curb. Everyone knew he and Willow were meant to be. It was just that you were always flaunting you self in front of him that he couldn’t pay attention to the real thing.” Cordelia said.

“Cordelia if Willow feels so pissed off at me she had my phone number she could have called me. Hell, she even had my address she could have come and kick my ass. She didn’t. So I’m seriously not threatened by her or YOU!” Buffy stated.

“Really? She knew where you were?” Cordelia looked blown by this last statement.

“Yes. She was my best friend I would never leave town with out letting her know where I was. I’m not that much of a coward.” Buffy gets in her car and slams the door shut and then drives away with the last word.

Buffy flew back to the hotel where she could race up to her room and hide. Tears were building up at a steady pace and she wouldn’t no couldn’t let Cordelia or anyone else in this town see her cry.

Chapter 7

Mrs. Adams had made a phone call to Angel the second she saw Cordelia pull in to her parking lot. She had opened her door slightly so she could hear what was being said. She wasn’t shock at the amount of hate and cruelty that Cordelia was throwing at Buffy but she was amazed and proud of how Buffy stood up to her. Buffy was one of the few people who could put Cordy in her place and she knew that the real root of the hate that Cordy felt toward Buffy. Buffy had refused to go along as a groupie of Cordy’s. Buffy instead rooted for the under dogs rather than the “In” crowd.

Angel left his office and headed to the hotel the second he got the call. He knew that Buffy wasn’t strong enough yet to take the cruelty of Cordelia. When he arrived he was informed that Buffy didn’t want any guest. Angel took the passkey and went upstairs anyway. He knew she was afraid of more unwanted guests who would voice their opinion of how horrible she had been several years ago.

Angel opens the door and found Buffy lying on the couch with a cold rag on her face.

“Buffy.” Angel whispered.

“How did you get in here?” Buffy shouts at him as she pulls the rag off of her face where her face is as red as a tomato and her eyes were nearly swollen shut from the crying.

“I use my pass key. I’m sorry I usually don’t do this but I got a call from Mrs. Adams telling me that Cordelia corner you in her parking lot.” Angel explained as he set down on the coffee table next to her.

“I’m sure the whole town will know about the show down between Buffy and Cordelia before the sun sets.” Buffy rolls her eyes as she looks angrily at the ceiling.

“I don’t know why Cordelia felt it was her place to say anything to you.” Angel sighed as he took Buffy’s hand and squeezes it supportively.

“Well, according to the ice princess she and Willow are the best of friend now. As she put it they are my “EX-FRIENDS”!” Buffy shouted with a hoarse voice.

“She is so full of crap. Willow could barely tolerate her. After you left all of Cordy’s friends got married or left for college and Cordelia’s dad went under so Cordy didn’t have the same clout anymore. She had to come home with her own tail between her legs. When she got here she forces her self into Willow’s life.” Angel gave her the true version of the story.

“She said Willow was going to kick my ass if she saw me again?” Buffy looked at Angel with a puzzled look.

“I don’t know where she got that.” Angel answered honestly.

“She said that they were trying to …that they …were going conceive…their first child.” Buffy could barely get the words out before she began to sob hard again.

Angel pushes her up and sat down on the couch pulling her up in his lap as she shed tears on his shirt. He hated watching her like this. She seems so vulnerable and weak. Unlike what he was used to. It also tore his heart into millions of little pieces as he listen to her pain crying out in pain. He couldn’t help her. He felt useless.

“Shh…it will be alright. I promise you.” Angel whispered in her ear as she clung tightly to him.

Angel strokes her hair with one hand and with the other he rubs her back softly. He just wanted to comfort her. Instinctively he kisses the top of her head as if she was a child he was helping. Then she grew quiet and very still. He wondered if he had gone too far or if she had fallen asleep.

“Buffy?” Angel says.

“I’m sorry.” Buffy looks up at him feeling like a crybaby.

“For what?” Angel frowns.

“I’m sorry for coming off as a cry baby. I mean since I came back all I do around you is cry.” Buffy wipes her tears away.

Angel hands her a Kleenex to blow her nose.

“Thank you.” Buffy wipes her nose.

“Buffy under the circumstances I wouldn’t expect any less. I mean it just goes to prove that you really did care about the both of them. You have closure now. You can move on with your life and if you want you might even have a chance to make amends to the both of them before you leave.” Angel offered.

“I’m not sure if I should be here when they return.” Buffy replied.

“Why not? They are married now. You cannot come between them. You’re not a threat to either of them. I think it would them a chance to see how happy you are and to congratulate them.” Angel suggested.

Buffy looked into his eyes and wondered why she had never noticed how sweet and caring her was before?

“Well?” Angel frowns at the sudden silence in the room.

“I’m sorry I just don’t think it will be that simple.” Buffy gulped as she felt her hand resting on his muscular chest and felt the heat from his body.

Both felt the sudden awkwardness with the position they were both in. Buffy slipped off of his lap and walked casually to the mirror to check her make up. Her hands trembled nervously as she grab another napkin to wipe the mascara from beneath her eyes.

“Buffy, I want to be honest with you.” Angel took a deep breath as he prepared him self for her reaction once he told her something that might cause a rift between them.

“Yes.” Buffy turned toward him as she lean on the dresser.

“I don’t want you to go so soon. I feel like …well…this is going to sound stupid but I enjoy having you here. I’ve missed you more than you could imagine.” Angel said from his heart as he stood up and walked toward her.

Buffy then grip the dresser behind her tightly. She wasn’t sure why but she felt like he was trying to tell her that the feelings he had for her went beyond friendship. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to him say those words either? It was true that she was starting to feel something for him but she wanted to be sure it wasn’t some sort of rebound or coming home thing that was drawing her closer to him.

“I know that you loved Xander. I know that you haven’t been serious with anyone since. I’m not sure if that is due to the fact that you still have feelings for him or if you just hadn’t found the right person? I do know how ever that I want a chance to see if I could be that right person.” Angel felt his stomach twist up in knots as he revealed his true feelings to her. He prayed silently that she did not throw him out of the room accusing him of betraying his best friend.

Buffy blinked her eyes as she heard what he had said. She saw deep in his eyes that Angel was telling her the truth. He was baring his soul to her. She was flattered and devastated at the same time. How had she missed the clues before? Or was this suddenly a new feeling for him?

“Well?” Angel gulps hard as he stands a inch away from her.

“I am speechless. I didn’t know you felt that way for me.” Buffy answers with a weak smile.

“Do you hate me now? Do you think I am a bad friend to Xander for wanting you now?” Angel asks with a guilty look across his face.

“No, not at all. I know what you mean. I too thought about Xander and how I have felt this connection with you. Xander moved on. Why shouldn’t I get that same chance?” Buffy licks her dry lips as she looks at his soft welcoming lips.

“I can’t make any promises Angel but I am willing to see where this can lead.” Buffy answers softly.

“I can agree to those terms.” Angel replies with relief.

Buffy smiles at him as her cheeks burn with a sudden sense of nervousness.

“Can I kiss you?” Angel’s hand cups the side of her face pushing her head up so he can lean down to kiss her open mouth.

“Yeeess.” Buffy moans as their lips make contact.

Chapter 8:

The passion consumes them both. Neither care about anyone or anything from their past. Their hands begin to run up and down their bodies as they explore one another. Buffy feels the heat in the very core of her growing into a bursting flame as his touch sends shivers up and down her spine. His taste, his smell, and everything else about him seems to intoxicate her into forgetting everything she ever knew. She did not want this moment to stop. She didn’t care about the consequences of what they were about to do. Instead she craved for the touch of a man that she had been be depriving her self from. She had no need to feel guilt this time. She was open and free to do what ever she wished with who ever she wished.

Buffy soaked up the male scent of him. It made her blood boil. No male had ever made a kiss feel as if he was making love to her mouth. Her arms went around his neck, her fingers against the well shaped outline of his head, her fingers slid into his hair as she pulled him in closer to her. His lips parted from hers to stray to the side of her neck. Buffy shivered as he hit a sensitive spot causing her to giggle.

“Are you sure?” The husky depth of his voice was even more shaky than her own had been, and Buffy looked questionably into the light brown eyes that blazed intently into the dark green of hers.

“I…think so. I’ve…never felt this way before.”

His hand left the curve of her throat and stroked gently, almost thoughtfully, along the soft strands of her hair.

“There’s no hurry.” Angel assured her.

Buffy’s eyes were watching his hands as she answered him.

“I need this. I need this now.” Buffy confessed with eyes that blazed with the desire and passion that she had been denying her self for so many years.

Angel lifted her up in his arms kissing her cheek as he took her to the bed. Lying her gently down upon it he slipped comfortably over her as he gave her what she needed and what he had always wanted.

Their lovemaking was almost animalistic as they moan and clawed at one another. Clothes were thrown about the room, as they grew impatient to join both of their bodies as one. Then it began. Buffy thrusting her hips up off the bed. Angel trying not to let his own pleasure come before hers. Both were crying out with passion as they both felt the their climax hit at the same moment. Buffy felt as if her heart had just burst like a firecracker shooting up in the sky. Then it stopped. Their breathing was heavy and loud. Buffy rolled over to lay her head on Angel’s chest as they both fell into a deep contented sleep.

Chapter Nine:

Angel woke up before Buffy had. Pulling his wrist free he looked at his watch. It was just a little past midnight. They had slept the entire afternoon and evening away in bed together. He smiled softly as he thought about how if anyone had told him in the past that this day would come in the future he would have never believed it. Now here she was lying next to him, smiling in her sleep. He felt his own ego mounting up inside. He had pleased her. It was a satisfying moment for him.

His push away a loose piece of hairs from her face so that he could get a better look at it. His heart swelled with emotions. He had never had anything like this before. He had, had his share of women since High School but none of them had come close to making his feel so alive and so needed as this woman lying next to him had. It wasn’t just the fact that she was gorgeous, had a great body, or any of the outer images that made him want her so much. It was the whole package. Buffy, had went out into the world with out any help from friends or family and made a life of her own. A very successful from what he could see. She had taken a serious chance on leaving the one man she knew would be safe with and went out to look for more than being “safe and comfortable”. He was proud of her. Hell, he was envious of her.

She was the only girl he had ever met that stood up to Cordelia even. He loved the way she acted like her self when she was around a guy. She didn’t have fake laughs or eating salads cause she was watching her figure. She was the sort of person you would describe as “what you see is what you get” and that was what made him fall in love with her all those years ago.

Now he just had to figure out away to see if she reciprocated those feelings or if she felt that with time it would grow into something as deep as his had? How in the world would he be able to do that he wondered? Then there was that other tiny obstacle to get past. Xander and Willow. They would be returning home soon. Buffy would want to flee and although he understood why she wanted to go he was selfish and wanted her to stay.

He wanted to put closure to the past for all four of them. It was the only way he and Buffy would be able to continue their relationship. He didn’t want to loose his friends but he didn’t want to loose her either. They had missed her just as much as she had missed them. He would have to set up some way to getting the four of them alone and all of them coming clean about the secrets that they had kept from one another. Only then could they move forward with their futures and friendships.

Buffy begin to stir next to him. He slipped out of the bed with out waking her. Picking up the phone he dial for room service. He gave them their order and which room number he was in. He knew that there was a chance that by tomorrow morning everyone would know he had spent the night in a suite that didn’t belong to him. He didn’t care. All he cared about was making Buffy happy and proving to her that they belong together. That fate had made the decision with out either of their consent to bring them together at this moment and at this point in time in their lives for a reason. It was for them to be together.

“Angel?” Buffy sat up in the bed yawning as she looked around the dim room for a sign that Angel had not abandoned her.

“I’m right here. I just went to the other room to call us some food. We slept through dinner and most of the night for that matter.” Angel explained with a chuckle.

“Wow. I haven’t slept that long in a long time.” Buffy yawn again as she push the pillow up so she could lean her back against them. Pulling the sheet up to cover her naked chest.

“I hope you ordered a lot because I’m starving.” Buffy smiled nervously at him.

“I did.” Angel smiled knowing what she meant.

“I guess this is the awkward part.” Buffy pressed her lips together as she dropped her head and fidgeted with the sheet.

“Why?” Angel asks.

“Because we have went past line. You know the line between friends and lovers.” Buffy looked up at him with a soft blush on her cheeks.

“Is that okay with you? Do you regret it?” Angel asks as he watches her closely.

“I’m fine with it I mean…I didn’t purposely set out to do this I swear. I mean, it just sort of happen. I don’t regret it if you don’t.” Buffy looked up at him with the same intent look.

“I’m thrilled.” Angel confessed with a silly grin plastered on his face.

Buffy frowns at him. Why did he appear so happy as if he had just won the lottery she wondered?

“Why exactly?” Buffy questions.

“Buffy Summers you don’t know how long I have thought of you in ways that were not considered friends. I mean, when I first met you I thought you were gorgeous. Over time the more I got to know you my feelings grew stronger. By the time we graduated I thought of you as a Goddess. I worshiped everything about you. I envied Xander. I never let him know my true feelings for you nor did I let you know.” Angel paused as he reconsidered if he was going too fast for Buffy and him self.

“I never wanted to come between you two. I always felt that if fate meant for you to be with me then it would happen naturally. I’m sorry if this is sudden for you but after spending the most incredible evening of my life in your arms I feel sooo…I can’t even come close to describing what I feel. It was like being in heaven with out the whole having to die thing.” Angel chuckled nervously.

Angel closed his mouth before he went too far and scared the dickens out of her.

Buffy sat there across the bedroom from him staring at him in utter disbelief. She did not know what to say or how to even speak at this second. She was so taken by his declaration of love for her that she wanted to weep. She couldn’t believe that he had sat back and allowed her and Xander to be together when he, him self desired her. Tears stung her eyes as she emotions began to over whelm her. She shook her head trying to fight back the tears. She had cried enough around him. She didn’t want him to see her cry. She grabbed the sheet around her and flew out of the bed and straight into the bathroom where she closed the door and locked it.

Angel sat there with his own tears stinging the back of his eyes as he took that as a sign of rejection. He felt incredibly stupid for exposing his soul to her. He stood up on his shaking legs and found the rest of his clothes and began to put them on. Once he was finished dressing the room service knocks on the door. He opens the door for Oliver and took the tray inside. He thanked Oliver and tipped him a tab higher than usual and gave him a wink attempt of a smile. Angel hoped that Oliver took the hint to keep quiet about his little discretion with the lady of this room. Oliver looked at the large bill in his hand and winked knowingly to his employer.

Angel push the tray into Buffy’s room and was about to leave when she came out of the room wearing her pajamas that she had left in there the morning before.

“Don’t go.” Buffy cried out as she saw his hand turning the doorknob.

Angel just stood there with his back toward her.

“Why not?” Angel groaned.

“Because I don’t want you to go. I’m sorry for leaving like that. I didn’t want you to see me cry again.” Buffy confessed as she ran her hands through her hair trying to make it look a less messy while feeling her stomach twisting up in knots.

“I made you cry?” Angel turns half way to look at her with a hurtful look.

“NO! I mean yes but not because I was sad. I wanted to cry because what you just said was so amazing that I don’t feel like I deserve it.” Buffy explained as a single tear manage to slip loose.

“Well, there goes that ideal.” Buffy chuckled she wiped the tear from her face.

“Why wouldn’t you think you deserved to be loved?” Angel asks as he takes a step closer to her.

“I have hurt so many people in the past and I was so blind to not see how you felt for me before this? How did I miss it?” Buffy asks with a frown.

Angel looked into the dark green eyes that made him want to loose him self in them.

“You were so busy living your life and being in love with Xander.” Angel shrugs his shoulders.

“You are so calm about it.” Buffy looks at him with amazement.

“I have had many years to live with it. I have time to adjust my life around it.” Angel answered with a slight smile.

“What does all of this mean?” Buffy asks as she takes a step closer to him.

“Tell me how you felt about last night?” Angel asks as he inhales sharply.

“I felt like I was on fire. Every touch, every taste, and every movement was so intense between us. I felt as if I had been…. starving all my life with out you.” Buffy speaks softly as she steps up to him.

“Are we talking your stomach or soul?” Angel looks at her with a amused smile.

“My soul.” Buffy smiled as her stomachs growls.

Buffy looked up into his eyes as her hands circled around his neck. Find Angel was like stumbling upon her other half. She felt complete.

He closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet scent that was Buffy, part vanilla and part sunlight. Everything that was beautiful in the world had reminded him of Buffy’s smile. Now here they stood as he open his eyes and saw that he held that particular beauty in his arms.

“I love you Buffy. No, don’t say anything. Not yet.” Angel placed his finger over her lips as her eyes widen in surprise to hear his declaration of love so soon.

“Just let me have this moment. Let me have you while I can.” Angel’s voice was husky with desire.

Angel moved his finger from her mouth and replaced it with his lips. Buffy sighed as he took her back to the bed where they stayed until dawn the next morning.

Chapter 10

The next morning Buffy woke up knowing that Angel would not be there. She open her eyes and looked at the note taped to the alarm clock. Pulling it loose she set up in the bed and took a few deep breaths in and out before she read it.

Buffy,

What we shared last night was more than a man’s fantasy come true. I think you know that what we feel for one another is more than lust. I want you to know that while you are here I will do everything in my power to prove that to you. I have business to deal with today but I will be by your room at eight to take you to dinner so save some room in that incredibly small stomach of yours.

Love Always Angel.

Buffy sighed heavily as her heart fluttered. Angel was the sexiest man she had ever known in her entire life. How had she missed that she wondered? Then the biggest question of all came back into her head. Did she ever really love Xander? Last night proved to her that what she felt for Angel was like night and day compare to what she felt with Xander. She debated in her head all day the differences between the two men and always Angel came on top of the session. She knew that she had loved Xander but had she been IN love with him? She finally figured out the way to settle this debate once and for all. She would stay until Xander and Willow return from their honeymoon. She would confront her ex-friends and then she would know the truth. If she saw Xander and her heart pounded like it had in Angel’s arms she would know that she had loved Xander but if it didn’t then she had been right to leave Xander.

Because at this point it would mean that all she really had with Xander was a deep friendship and her heart knew it although her head wouldn’t allow her to. That maybe it wasn’t just about her gaining her independence but about not making a terrible mistake for her and Xander. Maybe her heart knew the truth all along but she couldn’t hear it. Smiling as tears filled her eyes she sense that for the first time since she had left home that she had made the smartest move for the first time in her life. Her decision had been the right one. Not just for her but for Xander, Willow and Angel.

She took a shower and headed to town to finish her job as a decorator. She did not panic when she ran into people she grew up with. She smiled as if she had always been here and had no reason to hold her head down in shame. It felt refreshing and she owed it all to Angel. She was anticipating seeing him this evening. She felt as if she was living a dream. A dream that she never wanted to end.

She had started on his office at the hotel first. She had hired a contractor to help her with some of the work she was incapable of doing on her own. The staff had been shock to see her moving his office furniture out while they went inside and painted and wall papered. Then once that was completed they moved most of the stuff back. Buffy had put in new lamps, curtains, and a large oak clock that match the maroon and grey office she had prepared for him. It matches the hotels colors. She smiled as she had one office down and three more to go. She just hoped they were all this easy to do.

She had went up to her room and showered again and prepared her self for a cozy dinner with Angel. She looked at the dressed she had chosen and hoped it wasn’t too much. It was her favorite. She laughed at her self as she remembered Faith asking why she was bringing so many clothes for a trip that might only last a day or two at the max? Maybe fate had known and whispered in her ear as she pack her suitcase that night? She would never know?

She heard the knock on the door and opening it with a big smile on her face she felt as if she had a pie hit her in the face as she stared at the face before her.

It wasn’t Angel. Nope. Instead it was the last face she was prepared to see.

“Xander.” Buffy felt like she had lost her breath as he stood staring at her with such anger in his eyes. She felt her knees shake nervously. Not for the same reason that Angel made them shake. Nope this man she imagine hated her equally to the love that Angel felt for her.

“Well, she lives and breathes after all.” Xander walked past her as he entered her room with out asking if he could.

Buffy felt fear rising inside of her as she closed the door but left it unlocked.

“Why are you back so early?” Buffy asks as she struggles to breath.

“That is the question you want to ask me after all these years?” Xander looks around the room trying not to look directly in her eyes. He wants to be angry with her and if he looks into her eyes and sees sadness he knows he will break. He will want to comfort her. It was like second nature to him where she was concern. He couldn’t do that this time. She had hurt him. She had lost all rights to his friendship and most of all his comfort.

“I…I…was not expecting you.” Buffy tries to explain as she puts her arms behind her back holding on to them tightly as she lean up against the couch arm trying not to make him so bad. She knew it was a fruitless effort but she was still trying to consider his feelings.

“Who were you expecting?” Xander looked at her with a frown as he noticed the beautiful lavender dress she was wearing. The way she had dressed up indicated that she was meeting with a guy. He sniffs he air and could smell her perfume floating in the air. Yep, it was all for a guy. Some other guy that she would no doubt jerk his strings Xander thought to him self.

“Look Xander, I know what I did hurt you. It hurt me too. But since I have been back I have come to realize it was the smartest and bravest decision I have ever made. You now have the woman of your dreams as a wife and I have…well, I now know that I can make it on my own or with a partner. I know that you will never be without love in your life. I hope to find the same thing.” Buffy made her speech as she tried not to appear as happy as she felt as she thought of Angel and the love that they now shared.

“You know I knew you would say that. Once you learn that Willow and I got married you would say something that melodramatic about see how it was meant to be crap.” Xander rolled his eyes.

“Are you saying you love her the same way you loved me?” Buffy challenged him.

“No, I mean..Yes..no…I don’t know anymore.” Xander threw his arms up angrily in a look of defeat.

“When she kisses you do feel as if you can’t breath until her lips are over yours again?” Buffy looked at him with misty eyes.

“Sort of.” Xander looked down at the carpet as he saw where she was leading him.

“I know that it doesn’t stop the pain that I caused you. I want to make it up to you. I want us to be friends again. We made great friends the three of us. Couldn’t we be that again?” Buffy pleaded with him.

“I don’t know Buffy. I just wanted to know you were safe and where you were? You didn’t give me any of that. You just fell off the earth.” Xander looked at her with disappointment in his eyes.

“I called Willow and I gave her my address and my phone number. She knew all along where I was.” Buffy frowned at him with confusion. Why did everyone act like they didn’t know that she was in L.A? Had Willow hid that from everyone even Xander?

“What? Willow said you never called or wrote her. Do not lie about my wife.” Xander warn her as his pointed at her with a furious glare.

“I did tell her. I swear I did. I would never have abandoned you or her with out a word of where I was. That would be stupid and cruel. Was I ever like that before I left? WAS I?” Buffy shouted at him as it all started to come together. The way Cordelia had screamed at her about not even calling her best friend.

“No, no.” Xander shook his head as he put the anger aside and knew his heart she was right about the person she was. She was not capable of being that selfish. Yet, why would Willow have not told him? Why had she kept her location a secret from him?

“Did she ever call you or write you?” Xander looks at her.

“NO. She told me never to call her again. So I didn’t. She was angry that I had hurt you. Your feelings were more important than mine.” Buffy admitted as she sank down on to the couch with tears streaming down her face at the memory of Willow screaming over the phone at her.

“I’m so sorry Buffy. I know that must have hurt you.” Xander sat down next to her.

Xander knew that he was happily married to Willow and if he had to be honest he knew that Willow and him were better suited for one another and he couldn’t resist her. Yet here sat the other woman that he thought he would always feel the same way about but now as she sobbed he knew she was right. They had shared first love nothing more than that. Two young kids who were scared and frighten about the real world outside of High School who were trying to hang on the last pure thing they would know before they went out side the safety of the walls that had surrounded them for eighteen years.

Xander carefully put his arms around her shoulders as he pulled her closer to him.

Buffy lifted her head and looked at him with cautious eyes.

“It’s okay I’m not going to strangle you. I do love you. I will always love you.” Xander said as he pulled her into his arms to give her a hug of forgiveness.

Angel was about to knock on the door when he heard the shouting. Opening the door slightly so he could hear if it was safe for him to come in or rather Buffy needed rescuing when he stepped inside to see Xanders arms wrapped around Buffy and Xander was announcing his love for her.

Angel felt as if someone had just hit him straight in the pit of the stomach. He had been so excited all day to come see her and here she was with a man she once love that was newly married accepting his love for her.

Angel went to leave and bump into the door. The couple jumps apart at the sudden sound.

“Angel?” Buffy called out. Running to the door she looked down the hall way and saw that he was walking as fast he could away from her room.

“Oh shit.” Buffy bit down on her lips as she realized if he had just seen and heard what had happen what must be going on in his head at this moment. Her instincts screamed to run after him.

“Xander I have to go get Angel. He probably thinks we are still in love.” Buffy looks at Xander with a frighten expression.

“What if he does? What is going on?” Xander looks at her curiously.

“I can’t explain now but let me come over tomorrow to see you and Willow so we can clear up some things so we can move forward with our lives. Is that okay with you?” Buffy asks in a rush.

“Sure.” Xander shrug his shoulders.

“Good. I got to go get him. I can’t loose him.” Buffy explained as she fled down the hall in the direction that Angel had fled with his heart broken.

Chapter 11

No one knew where he had gone. Buffy drove around the streets of ? for hours and called all the numbers she had to contact him but came up with no leads. Finally she pulled her car into the parking lot of the park. Stepping out of her car she walked up to the old swings that had once been her childhood refuge when ever she was mad at her parents or when ever she needed some time alone to think. Sitting in the seats she felt suddenly so large compare to the seat.

Looking up at the sky she wrapped her hands around the old chains. The sky was beautiful. It would have been perfect scenery for a night with the one you loved she thought. Looking around the area she felt safe enough. Pushing the ground underneath her feet she began to swing. Higher and higher she went up in the air as she closed her eyes and tried to remember a time in her life when everything made sense. When there were no lies or pain. When love was the last thing she was looking for?

She couldn’t think that far back. Opening her eyes she wished that she could take back everything she had done wrong. She knew now that leaving had not been wrong but she could have done it differently. She could have faced Xander and explained why she had to leave instead of running away like a coward. But she was so young and naïve back then she defended her self.

Buffy felt the airbrush against her body as she swung like there was no worries in the world. She refused to cry. It was time to be tough. She would hunt Angel Wright down and demand that he listen to her and tell him how she felt about him. She wasn’t not going to let him make the same mistake she had two years ago by running away. There was no way she would give him up with out a fight. She needed him and he needed her. She saw that in his eyes. They were destine to be together. The timing had not been right back then. She had to learn the big lessons before she was rewarded with the kind of love that she was sure Angel would provide her with for years to come if she could just find the damn man.

********************************************************

Angel closed his eyes as the tears continue to sting the back of his eyes. He couldn’t quit replaying the scene he saw and heard play over and over in his head. He had just found her and already lost her. It seems wrong and unfair. How could Xander come home from his honeymoon and already be unfaithful to Willow? It made no sense. Logically or spiritually. He just couldn’t see Xander doing this? Had there been more to what he had walked up on? He knew it was possible but his heart feared that he might be right instead. So instead of going back to listen to Buffy he had fled like a idiot. He felt so stupid. Why had he rushed things with her?

What if his declaration of love had scared her or proven to her that it was Xander she wanted? No, he knew that couldn’t be right. Buffy and Xander had been in love but not the kind that lasted a lifetime. Xander and Willow were meant to be Angel had no doubt but he couldn’t stand thinking of Xander in the room with Buffy at this moment touching her in away he had just shared with her. Angel felt the tremendous surge of anger grow in him at the very thought of them making love that he wanted to hit something so badly.

Pulling up at the bar on the out skirts of town Angel walked in with a face that the bartender had seen a million times before. Angel kept the drinks coming while he hoped that one of them would stop the pain that was searing through his heart and soul.

********************************************************

Buffy gave up her search and was headed back to her car when she saw another car pull in. She knew it wasn’t Angel’s but who? She hoped it wasn’t someone there to kill her or anything like that. The lights and motor turn off and someone stepped out. Buffy squinted to see who was at the park at this time of night? Then she saw the red hair as it entered the park lights.

“Willow.” Buffy exhaled as she prepared her self for the next part of the battle.

“Buffy, I thought I might find you here.” Willow stated with determination and a mixture of sadness.

“Why were you looking for me?” Buffy asks with a hint of anger in her voice as she stared hard at Willow.

“After Xander rush out of the house with out a word to me I check the answering machine and heard Cordy’s message about you returning to town. I called the hotel and they said you had left suddenly.” Willow explained as she sat down in the swing next to Buffy’s.

Pushing it softly to give it just enough of a swing she gulp hard as she turn to look at her best friend whom she had betrayed.

“I know what I did was wrong. I’m sorry Buffy. You have been made out to be the bad guy and although half of it was your fault the other half was mine. When Xander returns home I will tell him.” Willow states in a calm voice.

“He already knows.” Buffy states as she turns to look at Willow.

“He does?” Willow gulps hard with a frighten look.

Buffy wanted to laugh at the familiarity of the situation. How many times while they were growing up had the two of them sat in these swings and talk about boys and life? How many times did they come here to help comfort one another when their hearts were broken? One time too many as Buffy remembers with a bittersweet smile.

“I didn’t tell him to get even with you. I just couldn’t understand why everyone kept screaming at me that no one knew where I was? I was only defending my self. I swear I didn’t know that you. …well that you not told them all the truth.” Buffy bit down on her lip as she felt the pain of Willow’s betrayal to her.

“I swear I was going to tell him. I mean I was going to them all but I knew he would run after you and that was the last thing you wanted. So I told myself that I would stay silent until he got over you. By the time he got over you he was into me. You know what I mean. How could I risk telling him that I knew where you were all that time before?” Willow defends her action as her voice pleads with Buffy to understand it had not been an intentional betrayal toward her.

“I think I can see your point.” Buffy smiled weakly at her.

“Can you? Really? I mean your just not saying that to ease my suffering are you? I mean you don’t.” Willow asks with a face that shown she too had many regrets of the past.

“Look, I can relate to regrets. I just wish that I had been the one to tell him before I left. Xander and I forgave one another. I told him that I would come by tomorrow evening to talk to you. I wanted us all to clear the air. I have missed both of you.” Buffy looked at her with tenderness.

Willow wipes away the tears of happiness that fell from her eyes.

Buffy reach out and they hugged one another.

“I’m truly sorry Buffy.” Willow sobbed into her shoulder.

“Me too. It wasn’t fair to expect you to do my dirty work.” Buffy replied honestly.

“Still, I was your best friend and his and you knew that if anyone could get him through it, it would be me. I let you down when you needed me the most. I’m so sorry.” Willow apologized.

“Hey I know. So am I.” Buffy smiled as she pulled away and smiled warmly at her best friend.

“Are you over him?” Willow asks suddenly.

“Who?” Buffy asks.

“Xander.” Willow frowns at her.

“Yes, I am. I mean I will always think fondly of my first love but we were closer as friends than anything else.” Buffy answered.

Willow caught the flash of sadness in Buffy’s eyes.

“Who? Is there someone else?” Willow asks as she watches her expression closely.

“Angel. I am in love with Angel. He has been in love with me all these years like you had been with Xander. He walked in on Xander hugging me and telling me that he would always love me. Xander meant it in a friend way but I don’t think Angel knew that part before he fled from the scene.” Buffy confessed as she looked at Willow with intense pain in her eyes and heart.

“We will have to find him. Come on.” Willow grabbed her up and felt that it was the least she could do. Together the odds were better to find him.

“You don’t seem so surprised about Angel?” Buffy thought out loud.

“Well, like you said he was feeling the same way I did so I saw the signs of someone who suffered like I did but I never said anything because I thought it should be his place.” Willow admitted with a wicked grin on her face.

“I swear I must have been such a dork in High School.” Buffy throws her hands up in the air as she laughs while they drive away.

Chapter 12

Willow called Xander on his cell phone to let him know what was going on. He agreed to help them with the hunt. He had a gut feeling he knew where Angel was but he didn’t tell the girls because he didn’t dare want them to enter such a place. Especially not if Angel was drinking like he knew he would be. Xander knew this place because he and Angel spent many of nights there following Buffy’s leaving Xander. Angel had came to support him and to be sure he got home safe each night.

Xander couldn’t believe that Angel had wanted Buffy all these years and never mention a word of to him. He was amazed that a guy like Angel had not snatched her up sooner. Xander was a nice looking guy and all but he wasn’t like Angel. All the women swoon around his type. Of course the one thing that had bonded their friendship was the fact that Angel didn’t like phony girls and didn’t date them for his status. He treated women kind and compassionate. Xander was the same way.

When he pulled up to the bar he saw that his assumption had been correct. Walking in he found Angel barely sitting on the barstool. He looked like he had been drinking more than he had ever consumed in his whole life. Xander smiled bitterly as he knew what was going through Angel’s mind and he prepared him self for a fight. Angel was in love with a girl that Xander him self had once swore to protect and love for the rest of his life. He knew how hard it was to think you might have lost the only woman you could ever love.

“Angel there you are.” Xander cried out as she walked up to the bar and ordered a beer.

The bartender nodded as his eyes glanced at Angel and back at Xander with a slight smile. Xander knew the bartender had seen the two of them here often in the past.

“Angel, are you about ready to go home yet?” Xander asks as he pats Angel on the back.

Angel looks at him with a deadly glare.

“YOU took her again. You have Willow. You can’t have Buffy too. She deserves better than that. They both do.” Angel shouted as his words slurred a bit.

“I don’t have Buffy, Angel. What you saw and heard was us forgiving one another. I told her that I would always love her as a friend. Nothing more. I love my wife.” Xander said with a calm voice and a honest face.

“Are you sure? I mean it looked like you two were making up for lost time.” Angel gritted his teeth together.

The bartender handed Xander the beer.

“Look, I won’t lie to you I was furious as hell to find out she was here. However when I saw her I realized just how much I loved Willow and she showed me how different the love was that I have now and the kind I had with her. We are the past. Willow and I are the future.” Xander vowed with sincerity in his voice.

Angel knew that Xander was telling the truth but he wondered if Buffy felt the same way as Xander?

“If you are thinking that Buffy might still be in love with me your wrong. She knew when she left that she was not in love with me the way she should be in order to marry me. She just thought it was all about finding her self when she left but it was really about finding her soul mate.” Xander sighed heavily as he patted Angel on the back.

“Her soul mate?” Angel frowns at him.

“You. She finally found you. She has been out all night looking for you. She and Willow met at the park and talked. They made up and started searching for you.” Xander stated.

“She is looking for me?” Angel repeated as a joyous smile crossed his face.

Buffy wanted him not Xander. She was searching for him. He couldn’t believe he had left her like that from his fear of loosing her.

“I have to go to her.” Angel jump off the barstool.

“Hold your ponies there cowboy. I need to drive you.” Xander grabbed the back of his shirt to prevent him from getting behind the wheel of his car.

“Fine.” Angel handed him the keys while Xander paid for the bar tab.

“You know I am a bit hurt that you never told me that you were in love with her. It must have been hell watching her with someone else.” Xander thought out loud as they got in his truck.

“It was but I didn’t want to come between you two. I always thought that if was suppose to happen it would.” Angel answered.

“Thanks man. Thanks for being a good friend.” Xander looked at him with admiration as he pulled out of the bar parking lot and headed Angel’s penthouse. He would get Angel there and start pumping coffee in him before he let Buffy see him. He knew that Angel would be so embarrassed for Buffy to see him like this. Hell, he knew because he had been there so many times in the past him self.

Chapter 13:

Buffy woke up the next morning in Willow’s spare room. All she could remember was Willow telling her to go to sleep and that Xander would bring Angel home once he sobers up. Buffy felt like hell warm over. Slipping off the bed she headed to the bathroom where she washed her face. Her eyes were still puffy from all the tears she shed the night before. They were not from just regrets, sadness, but also from happiness. She was at last free to be with her friends again. No more secrets and no more lies. There was a chance that she could now be with Angel with out anyone being hurt.

Now she just prayed that Angel had not changed his mind about her. She knew that if he walked away from her she would die from the loss of the one man who made her believe in her self and believe in love. Just at a time in her life when she thought she could never take back the mistakes she had made he had walked in and comforted her and loved her unconditionally. She would never find another man like that.

Willow was up making coffee for the both of them when she walked into the kitchen.

“I thought you might need a little extra something to help wake you up.” Willow smiled softly.

“Mmm…you always know me and coffee.” Buffy smiled gently.

“I also made us some bagels.” Willow sat the plate down in front of them.

“So has Xander called yet?” Buffy pinch a bite off of the warm bagel.

“Yes, he called to let me know that he was fixing Angel some coffee too.” Willow chuckled.

“So what do you think I should do? I mean what if Angel realizes that he only wanted me because Xander did? I mean I thought about it all night and it dawn on me that he might not want me now. He might fear me running away from him like I did Xander.” Buffy spoke her fears out loud.

“Nah! I think that Angel knows in his heart that you love him too.” Willow replied.

“But I never told him I did. When he announced he loved me Willow I was in shock.” Buffy cried out.

“Xander did too. I mean I think he always knew but he was so blinded with your love that he felt guilty to acknowledge my feelings for him. I think he feared it would somehow betray you.” Willow admitted with a crooked smile.

“I love him. He makes me feel like I’m the only woman on this planet for him. His love is so strong and powerful that I am so addicted to it. It’s only been a week since I have been back and already I ache for him. Doesn’t that make me weak?” Buffy asks.

“No. Love makes us all slaves to it. Its what makes it so incredible and so needed in our lives. Your feelings are only natural. You two will work this out.” Willow vowed.

“Yeah, but I owned a business in ? and he owns his here. How can we expect one or the other to give their dreams?” Buffy suddenly thought.

“Maybe you can find away to compromise. I mean why can’t you open a office here?” Willow suggested with a shrug of her shoulders.

Buffy chewed quietly as she thought of that suggestion. It was true that people here needed jobs too. She could always branch out her company. Faith could run the other branch. If she could persuade her that was. Surely she could find some way to bribe her she hoped.

“What are you thinking about?” Willow asks curiously.

“I need to make a call.” Buffy grab her cell phone out of her purse and walked to the back yard where she made the call to Faith. An hour later she walked in wearing a victorious smile across her face.

“What?” Willow looks at her with a confused grin.

“You are right. I convinced my co-partner to keep the other office while I branch out here.” Buffy cried out happily.

“Oh I think they are here.” Willow heard the familiar sound of a car door closing.

Buffy grab her brush and brush through her messy hair quickly before following Willow into the living room where Xander and Angel walked through the front door.

Buffy gulped hard as she braced her self for the worse. Angel looked like hell. Buffy felt her heart swell at the misery he appeared to feel.

“Willow you and I should go and let them be alone.” Xander suggested as he took Willow’s hand and led her out of the front door.

Buffy stood behind the sofa staring across the room at Angel who just stood by the door with a blank face.

“Did Xander explain to you what actually happen?” Buffy asks nervously.

“Yes, he did.” Angel sighs as he feels like such a jackass for his behavior and wouldn’t be surprised if Buffy didn’t leave him.

“I hope you’re not mad at me.” She says.

“Why would I be mad at YOU? I’m the one acting like a damn fool.” Angel swears as he walks closer to her.

“Well, that is partially true but hey been there done that so I can totally relate.” Buffy laughed softly.

“I’m so sorry for thinking that you and Xander were getting back together. I should have trusted you. I should have known that you felt the same way I did.” Angel apologized as he took her hands in his.

“You acted normally under the circumstances. I would have done the same thing I’m sure.” Buffy looked at him with an amused smile on her face.

“What are you smiling at?” Angel frowns.

“I just can’t believe that I existed with out you for so long. I love you Angel. I had to learn so much before this day could come. I do not regret my decision to leave however I do regret not doing it properly. Yet it led me back here to you. I never want to be away from you again.” Buffy announces as she stands on her tiptoes and kisses his lips gently.

“Are you sure about that?” Angel looks hopeful that she is truly his at last.

“With all my heart and soul. I belong to you.” Buffy promises.

Angel leans down and kisses her with all the passion and love that he had kept inside of him for all these years. Buffy was breathless. She had finally understood the meaning behind the phrase “swept off your feet” sort of love. She didn’t think she would ever touch the ground again as long as Angel loved her.

Epilogue:

Buffy and Angel had started up Buffy’s new business with no problems. When Angel proposed to Buffy he made her promise it would be a simple wedding. One where they stood before a judge and he had her in his arms the night before. He wasn’t about to let her run away again. The following day they had married in front of their closest friends.

They had return to the hotel for the reception.

“You know B I am going to miss you but hey I’m glad you found that hunk.” Faith looked over at Buffy’s new husband and shook her head with delight.

“Yummy.” Faith teased.

“Watch girlfriend I will pull out the big guns to keep that man.” Buffy laughed.

“Guns?” Angel frown as he walked up to his wife and her business associate.

“Yeah, I was telling her we were surprised there was no guns pointed at her at the ceremony to make sure she didn’t flee.” Faith joked.

“Faith!” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Congratulations. You are a lucky man and trust me buddy you don’t treat her right I know plenty of men who will.” Faith warned him with a twinkle in her eyes as she walked away.

“You look beautiful.” Angel looked proudly at his wife.

“You don’t look too bad either.” Buffy smiled at him.

“So what do you think should we wait a year or do like Willow and Xander there and get pregnant on our honeymoon?” Angel asks as they looked at the small pudge of Willow’s stomach. She still had a ways to go but she was finally starting to show. Buffy saw the way Xander glowed with anticipation of their first child.

“What ever you want I want. I don’t care if you keep me pregnant and bare footed as long as you love me even when I’m fat.” Buffy teased him.

“I love more than your outer beauty but you know that.” Angel stared deep into her eyes.

“All I know is that I’m the luckiest woman in the world to have you as my soul mate.” Buffy declared as she took her husband and led him to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife.

They glided across the dance floor like a couple that had been doing it for years together. Both holding on tightly to the other and knowing in their hearts the search was finally over and they both had closure to their pasts. Now they were free to love the way they were always meant too.

The End!!!!!

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