"Yeah?" Tracie said sharply, as she picked up the phone.
"Honey, is everything alright?"
"Yes, Mom, everything is wonderful, can't you hear?" she replied, cradling the phone between her shoulder and chin as she took the cereal out of the microwave and tested it by poking her finger into the middle of both bowls. She grabbed the milk out of the refrigerator and poured some in and mixed it up and put it down on each of the high chairs. "I'd love to chat, Mom, but I'm going to be late for work and I need to feed Anthony and Amy…..dammit!!!!" She looked down at the huge hole in her pantyhose..
"Tracie!!!!!"
"Sorry, Mom….now I've got to find another pair of nylons too. I'll call you back when I get home. Promise."
Tracie hung up before her mother could respond. She deftly shoveled a spoonful of cereal into each of her children's mouths and reached over to grab her cup of coffee and took a long gulp.
"Ugh, cold. What else is new?"
She fed another spoonful of cereal into the open mouths just as the front doorbell rang.
"Oh for Pete's sake, NOW what? I don't need this, I really don't," Tracie muttered as she wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and strode down the hallway to the front door.
*****************
Joey blew on his hands and rubbed them together. He forgot just how cold it could get in New York in December.
"You can't sit here all day," his conscience told him. "Either shit or get off the pot, Fatone. You drove all the way up here, are you just going to sit parked outside her house or are you going to do what you should've done months ago?"
Joey rubbed his eyes, sighed and looked at himself in the rearview mirror. "God, I look like crap." He hadn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks. He had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes and his hair looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. He sighed again.
"It's now or never," he muttered as he got out of his SUV and walked across the street. He paused on the sidewalk, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at the small, but neat home. He noticed a Little Tykes jungle gym in the backyard and his heart ached. Slowly, he climbed the four steps to the front door and pressed the doorbell and waited.
*********************
Tracie threw open the door just as the twins started to howl again because they weren't being fed. She had no idea who could be at her door at 7am on a Friday morning, but she certainly wasn't prepared to see her former boyfriend. She stood in shock as the realization hit her.
"Hey….," was all he managed to get out, as he looked first at her, then at his shoes. He was afraid to see her reaction.
Half of her wanted to jump into his arms and passionately kiss his still-sensual lips. The other half of her wanted to castrate him on the spot. Tracie took a very deep breath and tried to push her emotional and physical responses down deep and choose a middle ground.
"Joey……," she managed to croak out feebly.
He slowly brought his head up and their eyes met for what seemed an eternity. She saw a very troubled man hidden behind his deep brown eyes, and he saw a very hurt woman behind the blues eyes that used to always sparkle.
Joey cleared his throat bringing Tracie back to reality.
"Look Joey, this isn't a good time. I have to get the twins ready and get to work."
"Work? Why are you working, Tracie?" Joey asked, trying to peer around her into the kitchen.
"Gee, Joey. $100 whenever the mood strikes you just doesn't feed two kids and pay the rent, ya know?"
Joey hung his head again. He'd heard a similar lecture from his mother numerous times, and just as recently as the day before he'd decided to drive to New York.
"Can we get together later? After work?" he asked in almost a whisper.
"I pick up the kids from my sister's around 5. Meet me here at 5:30," she said curtly. Under the circumstances, she thought she was being more than generous.
"Can I see them?"
"Now? No, Joey. I need to get them over to Beth's and be into Manhattan by 9. You can see them tonight."
Tracie closed the door and leaned against it with her eyes shut tightly. Why? Why did he have to come back? Why now? A tear rolled down her cheek as she made her way back to the kitchen and finished feeding Anthony and Amy.