Title: “Coming Back Together”

Author: Anne Taul

Classification: Story, Romance: Harm/Mac

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: “Silent Service”

 

Disclaimer: “Jag,” all its character, its premise, etc. belong exclusively to Bellasarius and Paramount productions and to CBS television. This writing is created solely for recreational purposes. No profit is being sought, and no copyright infringement is intended.

 

This is possible follow up to the episode “Silent Service.” This is how my own strange little mind might address the unanswered questions.

 

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“Coming Back Together”

 

 

       Harm walked slowly into the debriefing room where his partner sat on a couch, silently. His expression belied a hint of worry as he studied her unmoving form.

“Hey Mac, you didn’t say a word during the entire flight back from the Watertown. Are you okay?” He sat down beside her as he said it.

       When she didn’t respond, he reached out to touch her arm.

            She pulled away.

         “Mac, talk to me. What is it?”

 

        She turned to look at him with an expression on her face that he couldn’t identify. It almost looked like grief.

 

             “Harm, I’m confused.”

    “Why?’

 

         “We’ve been through so much together. We’ve always been close. You’re one of my best friends, but I feel like I’m losing you. Something’s really wrong between us, and you won’t even talk about it.”

 

               “Mac, everybody has rough times. Nothing is always perfect. We’ll be back to normal soon. Why is this bothering you all of a sudden?”

 

             “Harm, this isn’t sudden. We’ve been having trouble for days now. I just don’t want it all to end this way.”

 

          He reached for her hand, holding it loosely. “End? What end? You’re not going anywhere are you?”

 

            She lifted the hand that was holding hers and looked at it. “When Hodge was after us back there on the Watertown, I thought, “What if this is it? What if we’re going to end it all right here? I don’t want our relationship to end that way, with us barely able to tolerate each other.”

 

            His hand moved up to her shoulder, where he gave a reassuring little squeeze. “Mac, it’s not all over. You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m not even sure now why it is that we’ve not been getting along. Why don’t you tell me?”

 

            “Harm, this isn’t the right time or place to talk about this.”

               

                “This is the perfect time and the perfect place.”          

              “Tell me, why is it that you’ve been so upset with me?”

 

                     “Harm, you don’t trust me.”

 

              “You’ve got to be kidding. Of course I trust you – with my life.”

 

                “No, you don’t. You don’t have any faith in me, in my judgment. You’re strong-arming everything. It feels like you don’t trust me at all.”

 

        “Mac, I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. I guess I just took it for granted that you knew how much I trusted you, how much faith I have in you.”

 

           He moved the hand now onto her face, so that his palm cupped her cheek.

 

She likewise laid her hand on the side of his face. “What is it that I’ve done that’s caused you to be so distant and unhappy?”

 

         His thumb massaged away a tear that had appeared from nowhere on her cheek. “It just seems like you’re always trying to work against me. That old comfortable rhythm that makes us such a good team hasn’t seemed to be there. Lately, it feels as though we’re working against each other instead of being …. Partners.”

 

       She gazed deep into his eyes as he finished his thought. “Mac, I miss you.”

 

             “Me too, Harm.” She answered.

        

         As she said this, his hand turned her face toward him and pulled it in closer. He kissed her forehead, then turned her chin upward.

 

            Her fingers massaged his cheek, then began tracing the outline of his lips.

 

                 Her hand was gently moved aside as his lips came down to brush against hers.

 

         She tingled and brought her hand back up to its place along his cheek, moving in closer to deepen the kiss.

 

             His lips parted and he tasted her in a way he only had in his most hidden dreams.

 

     Mac felt her arms encircling his neck, without any instruction from her. She leaned into the kiss, into his nearness.

 

        When it had ended, his lips moved down to plant a series of gentle kisses against her neck and he whispered her name, “Sarah.”

 

             The use of her first name startled her a little, so she pulled away.

                 

                    He followed her neck.

 

             Finally she said, “Harm, don’t!”

 

        He was brought back to reality by her admonition. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mac. I shouldn’t have done that. Well, I’m not really sorry, but still I shouldn’t have.”

 

              “You don’t trust me, but you think you can just kiss me and make everything all better.”

 

       She was shocked by how close to the truth that really was. She did feel better.

 

            Nothing else was said between them during their debriefing sessions.

 

            Within a couple of hours they were ready to drive back to Washington.

 

 

IN MAC’S JEEP

 ON THE WAY BACK TO WASHINGTON

 

         Mac drove. Harm watched her, not able to really believe the emotions she had stirred in him since that kiss.

 

          Finally, he asked her, “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

               “There’s nothing to talk about”

 

          “For me there is.”

    

        “Okay. What?”

 

           “Well, I kissed my best friend, and now I feel a whole bunch of things that I never dreamed of. Things that I probably shouldn’t feel.”

 

         “You’ll get over it.”

 

     “Sarah, don’t shut me out.”

 

“Don’t call me that. And you’re the one who has kept me shut out. You don’t trust me, remember?”

 

        “That’s not true. I do trust you – and more.”

 

    “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

 

        “I’m sorry, Sarah.”

 

             The rest of the trip passed in relative quiet, except for a short, impersonal conversation about how Chief Hodge’s court-martial would probably be handled. They knew that they would both, most likely, be called as material witnesses.

 

****

 

 

        Back in D. C., she let him off at his apartment, then proceeded to her place. Alone in the car, she was finally able to cry.

 

***

     She drove around aimlessly for a while, not quite ready to go home yet. When she finally did enter her apartment, it had never seemed so empty. Why had she let him get to her this way? Why had he kissed her, and why couldn’t she quit thinking about the sensation of his lips against hers?

 

     Mac just dropped her bag on the floor and herself, carelessly on the couch. Before too long, there was the sound of knocking at the door. She stood up. Her first inclination was to ignore it – she didn’t really want to see anybody right now. The practical side of her character quickly took over, realizing that it could be something important. She opened the door to find him standing there.

 

      “Harm, what are you doing here?”

 

          “I want to talk to you. I want to talk about us, about what’s been happening between us. I don’t want to think that our friendship might end this way, either. Can I come in?”

 

              She moved aside to admit him.

 

              Instead of launching into a big thesis about what he knew the problems were, as she expected, he just looked at her.

 

                   “Okay. Where do we start?” he asked.

 

         “I was sure that you were going to tell me.” She countered.

 

                “Mac, Sarah …..  I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Maybe I do know what might be in our way.”

 

     “Well … do tell.”

 

   “You tell me what you think, first.”

 

 “I really don’t know, Harm. I think that maybe, all of a sudden, you don’t want to work with someone who might come close to being your equal. I think that maybe, just maybe, you feel threatened by me.” As she spoke, she walked a circle around him, but didn’t look him in the face until the very end. She refused to let him see how much he effected

her.

 

    “In a way, you may be right.” He responded, quietly.

 

  Her jaw dropped open. Was the great Harmon Rabb admitting that he might be in the wrong about this? Unthinkable! She had been sure that he’d deny it, and fight her about this assertion.

 

       “Harm?” It was all she could get out, before ….

 

          He touched the side of her face, then quickly moved his hand behind her neck. He pulled her head toward him. When his lips met hers, they seared into her flesh. They brought with them an energy she’d never felt before.

 

               Mac’s first thought was to pull away, as she had the last time. This time, however, he held her tight against him with a powerful arm.

 

               So, she kissed him back, with all the feeling and intensity that had built up inside her. This moment was the culmination of her suppressed dreams  and hidden fantasies, so she relaxed enough to enjoy it.

 

               When they finally broke contact, she still didn’t pull away, but rather lay her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating.

 

                 He felt the warmth of her breath through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. It was an intoxicating sensation.

 

              He held her for just a few minutes, then whispered to her, “Sarah.. Sarah dear, I think maybe that that is part of what’s been wrong with our relationship lately. I mean a kind of frustration because we thought that we couldn’t do that.”

 

“Harm, we shouldn’t do that.”

 

      “I know, but …..”

 

  Her arms were still circled around his neck. She tightened them  a bit more, then she looked up, directly into his face. “Harm, when we were being chased aboard the Watertown, all I could think about was losing you, losing .. us. That’s silly, isn’t it? I mean there really isn’t an us.

 

        One of his hands found its way back to the side of her head, where he ran his fingers tentatively through her hair. “What I remember was seeing you fall. Hodge had you in that choke hold. He tried to suffocate you. I saw your eyes roll back in your head just a little, then you fell. My heart almost stopped. When I saw that you weren’t breathing, I think it did stop. Sarah, I’ve never been so frightened. All I could think about was… if I lost you …I just couldn’t lose you before I had the chance to make things right. I want things to be right between us, because…”

 

          “Shh,” she said quietly, “don’t talk now.”

         “But, I want to tell you …”

 

               She silenced him by raising herself up on her toes to plant a kiss across his lips.

 

        Needing no further encouragement, he pulled her closer and tighter and responded to the kiss with intensity that surprised her.

 

          After a long moment he whispered, “I thought you said we couldn’t do this.”

 

     She also whispered, “No, Sailor, I said we shouldn’t. It’ll just be our little secret.”

 

        “Yes, Ma’am.”

 

           He sat down in a chair, pulling her along with him, to sit in his lap. They talked for hours, until he told her, “Oh, by the way, I love you.”

 

            “Good, because I’m in love with you.”

 

         After this confession, he left.

 

 

THE NEXT MORNING

JAG HEADQUARTERS

FALL’S CHURCH, VIRGINIA

 

                   Harm and Mac stood at attention in front of Admiral Chegwidden’s desk. He had just finished briefing them on a new assignment.

 

                  “Oh, Commander, Major, can the two of you work together on this?”

    

       They chorused, “Aye, Sir.”

 

                   “Then I take it that you’ve worked out your problems?”

 

           “Yes, sir.” Harm replied.

 

               Mac shot him an amused smile and said, “We’re working on it, Sir.”

 

                   “Don’t let it get in the way, people. Dismissed.”

 

            “Aye, aye, Sir.” They chorused again.

  

                 As they turned to leave, the admiral spoke again, “Rabb, are you going to handle the closing arguments on the Duncan case? The secnav wants special care given to this case.”

 

           “I don’t think so, Sir. I have the upmost confidence in Major MacKenzie’s ability to present our position. I trust her implicitly, Sir.”

 

                  “Very well.” AJ acknowledged.

 

            They exited as Mac rewarded her partner with a broad radiant smile.

 

 

     

    

 

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