Author: Anne Taul
E-mail: annetaul@home.com
The FF of
Anne Taul is archived at: http://www.geocities.com/atjag101
Rated: PG-13 (NC-17 available)
Classification: JAG Story/Adventure/Romance: Harm/Mac
Summary: How will Harm and Mac react if she's sent to war?
Disclaimer: JAG characters portrayed belong to JAG, CBS and Paramount Television. No copyright infringement intended. All other characters depicted are purely fictional and any similarities to actual people are purely coincidental.
Petty Officer Tiner stuck his head into the door of the JAG office kitchen. “Colonel MacKenzie, Commander Rabb, the admiral wants to see you in his office right away.” Then turning to the other man in the room, “Lieutenant Roberts, he asked that you be on standby to come in on their conference if needed."”
Harm and Mac followed the yeoman
out, while Bud responded with a “I’ll be ready. Just let me know.”
^^^^^^^^^^
ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN’S OFFICE
AJ Chegwidden looked up from the
file he was reading as the two officers entered. “Commander, Colonel, have a
seat.”
They dutifully took the chairs in
front of the admiral’s desk.
After a few awkward moments of
silence, the admiral addressed Mac, “Colonel, what are you working on right now
that’s crucial?”
“Well, Sir, I’ve just begun the
investigation of the alleged pornography scandal at Quantico, but it
hasn’t reached a critical stage yet. I’m drafting charges for the Perry court
martial, but since Captain Perry has civilian counsel, I don’t expect them to
counter the charges soon enough to get to trial this month. Then there’s …”
“AJ cut her off. “Do you have
anything currently in litigation?”
“Only Ensign Starker’s Article 32
hearing. It starts on Friday.”
“Commander Rabb, is there anyway
that you can handle that?”
Mac spoke up, “But admiral, I’ve
been preparing for that for weeks, why would your take it away from me now?”
“Because, Colonel, you’re not going
to be here. We’ll have to reassign all your cases for now.”
“Not going to be here? What do you
mean, Sir?”
“Mac, I got word this morning that
the Marine Corps is pulling you out of JAG and reassigning you.”
“What?” she was shocked, to say the
least. ”Where am I going, Sir? Why?”
“From here, you’ll go to Iran.
After that, possibly Pakistan or even Afghanistan. Who knows?”
“Wait a minute, Admiral.” Harm
interjected. “That’s where the fighting’s going on. Why would they send Mac
there?”
“When I saw this, I checked it out.
Apparently they need more field officers and diplomatic officers, as well,
though I don’t know which you’ll be Colonel. Mac’s been selected because of her
language skills.”
“Sir, we need Colonel Mackenzie
here.” Harm rationalized.
“I agree, Commander, but I can’t
stop the Marine Corp from deploying its officers in a time of war.”
“When do I leave, Sir?”
“You’re just going to accept this?”
Harm looked at her, incredulously.
“What choice do I have?” she
answered.
“”Here are your orders.” AJ handed
her a file. “You ship out Friday morning.”
“Sir, this is Wednesday. That’s not
much time.” She observed.
“No, it’s not.” He conceded.
“You always told me that marines
were ready to go at a moment’s notice.” Harm teased.
“I guess so.” She returned.
“Naturally, you can have tomorrow
to prepare, after you brief the people taking over your cases.”
“Thank you, Sir. I’ll be here early
tomorrow to get that taken care of.”
“Oh. And Commander, please organize
a get together of some kind tomorrow evening as a send off. Maybe McMurphy’s or
something like that.”
“Aye, Sir.”
Soon they were dismissed, and Harm
and Mac walked together back into the bullpen.
“It’s going to be strange around
here without you.” Harm stated.
“It may only be for a short time.”
Mac answered.
“There’s just no sense in taking a
lawyer and sending her to a combat area.”
“I’m sure it will mostly be
negotiations and diplomatic work.” She ventured. “But I’ll have to be prepared
for anything.”
“See you later, Harm,” she said, as
she entered her office, “I’m going to make a list of stuff I’ve got to get done
before I can leave.”
=========================================
THAT NIGHT
MAC’S APARTMENT
Mac picked up a stack of laundry
and headed to the front door to answer the persistent doorbell.
When she opened it, Harm stood in
front of her, smiling broadly.
“Hi.” She said, weakly.
“Hi, yourself.” He replied. After a
pause, he continued, “I thought I’d stop by and see if I could help with
anything.”
“I don’t think so,” She responded,
“but come on in and keep me company.”
He entered, closing the door behind
him.
They sat on the couch. “Mac, I’m
really going to miss you.”
Anticipating the change of duty
station was one thing, but this was the reality, and it hit Mac hard. Leaving
Washington. Leaving JAG. Leaving Harm. It all might be too much. Harm’s
sparkling green eyes caught hers and she whispered, “Me too.”
Then she got up and walked to stand
in front of the window. Gazing outside, nothing really caught her attention.
“But, you know, it won’t be
forever,. I’ll be back.”
“And you’ll promise to be careful?”
“Of course.”
Harm sighed deeply as he stood and
looked at her back. “I just can’t believe it. You’re leaving JAG and leaving
... me. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
“Oh, you’ll do fine.” She
encouraged him. But her face betrayed the sadness she felt.
They stood still, just staring at
each other for several minutes. Then, it happened….
Harm moved closer to grasp both her
shoulders. He held gently, then moved in slowly and kissed her. It wasn’t a
quick kiss, but, rather, a long, slow, passionate one. She responded fully and
pulled him closer. Almost immediately, their hands were exploring each other.
He pulled away and said, I think I better get out of here before I do
something I shouldn’t….. before we do something we might both regret.
She nodded slightly.
He kissed her forehead lightly and
headed to the door.
AN HOUR LATER
HARM’S APARTMENT
He could just kick himself. He had
kissed her. He certainly hadn’t meant to, but it felt wonderful and right. He
had kissed her, but then he had backed away.
The truth was that if something had
happened, he could never have regretted it. He spent half his life
dreaming of what it would be like to really be with her. Of course, he’d never
get that chance now. Day after tomorrow, she’d be gone. God knows when he’d
ever see her again.
Harm went to bed and fell into an
uneasy sleep. He saw her walking toward him. She was wearing only a towel (he’d
had this fantasy before). When she reached the bed, she dropped the towel ad
climbed in next to him. He awoke to realize it was only another dream. She was
leaving him. He just couldn’t stand it.
+ + +
SAME TIME
MAC’S PLACE
How could she have just let him
walk out like that? She had waited years and years for him to be ready to make
a move. Maybe now wasn’t the time, but could she be sure? When would she ever
have the opportunity again to find out?
Mac hadn’t been looking for this
time away from JAG. But, she had to admit that most of it did sound exciting.
Part of her was actually looking forward to it. The only reservation she had
about the whole thing was leaving Harm behind. She wasn’t sure she could stand
to not see him every day. Would she still dream about him at night?
Had she given them a real chance?
Morning was going to be here early,
so she headed off to get some rest. Sleep overtook her quickly.
Then he came, as he often did.
Harm entered her bedroom, with a
wild look on his face. He came to the side of the bed and stood over her. Mac
waited for him to say something – anything. But he didn’t. Instead, he sat down
on the bed beside her, but kept staring at her. Harm’s hand touched her
face, gently. Then he lowered his head to kiss her. The kiss was insistent and
demanding. She couldn’t help responding to it with a like forcefulness.
She sat bolt upright in bed, fully
awake. She reached to shut off the alarm clock. It was almost time to get up. Damn! Why did she have dreams like
this about him?
What was she going to do without
him while she was gone. The prospect of not seeing his face everyday, of not
having him tease her and melting under the power of that smile all weighed on
her.
Why had she let him leave last
night? Why hadn’t she told him how she felt? She was afraid that he didn’t feel
the same way. But she was sure that he felt something. She should have made him
stay and forced them both to face up to whatever was going on between them.
With her going away, they might never have another chance.
=========================================
NEXT MORNING
JAG HQ
Harm walked briskly off the
elevator to see that Mac was already hard at work in her office, organizing
files to hand off her cases. He stopped for a moment and just looked at
her. He was going to miss having her around here.
She looked up and motioned him in.
“I thought I’d give the Baxter
court martial to Bud., but it’s going to take a lot of time. So, I’ll need you
to take over the appeal in the Pennington case. Okay?
“Sure.” He readily agreed. “What
about that investigation on the murder at Camp Pendleton?”
“There aren’t very many leads. You can have that one too. Lt. Singer asked for
the Hershey case. What do you think? Can she be fair with that?”
“I don’t know. That’s a real
judgment call. You better check with the admiral.”
“Will do. Harm, why are you looking
at me so strangely? Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry.” He said, snapping out
of his daze. “It’s just hard to imagine this place without you in it.”
“Yeah, it’s hard for me to imagine
not being here too.”
“You’re going to write and keep in
touch, right?”
“Of course I will.”
“By the way, the staff will expect
you for a going away get together at McMurphy’s tonight about 8. You’ll come
for a drink and good wishes?”
“You couldn’t keep me away.”
“Say, Mac, why don’t we go
together. I could stop by and give you a ride. Maybe we could even get there
early and have a little dinner?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Great, I’ll pick you up. Now, I’ve
got to go tell everybody about the party.”
Mac continued going through her
cases and figuring out where to assign them until about noon. Then, the admiral
told her to go home and pack. With a quick, “See you for dinner tonight.” into
Harm’s office door, she left for what would be the last time in the foreseeable
future. She was saddened.
THAT NIGHT
MCMURPHY’S TAVERN
“That office is going to be awfully
lonely without you.” Harriet observed. “Yeah, I don’t know what I would have
done without you these last few years. “ Bud added.
“I’m going to miss you guys.”
Mac stated, into a hug.
Admiral Chegwidden came to talk to
her, and she thought he seemed almost tearful. She would really miss him too.
Lt. Singer made a remark about “continuing the high standard” Mac had
established for female JAG lawyers. Mac tried to be gracious and polite in
wishing her luck.
As the party wound down, she and
Harm were the last JAG staff left. “Ready to go?” he asked. She walked to
the jukebox and made a selection. “I need a memory to take with me. Dance?”
He swept her into his arms and out
onto the dance floor. They swayed to the music and ended the song with a very
light, gentle kiss. “Now I’m ready to go.” She informed him.
LATER
MAC’S APARTMENT
“Can I help you with your luggage
or getting anything done before you go?”
“Thanks, but I think everything’s
ready.”
She was, once again, looking out
the window at nothing in particular.”
He walked behind her and looked
over her shoulder. Then, taking her hand in his, he led her back to the couch.
“Sit down.” He instructed.
She sat beside him. “What?” she
inquired of his unusual behavior.
“You’re leaving and I don’t know
when I might see you again. Mac, I have to tell you how I feel. You can’t leave
without knowing.”
“Okay, so tell me.”
Harm placed a hand along side her
cheek and moved her head close to his. His mouth covered hers in a deep kiss.
Mac responded. She couldn’t help
herself. She remembered how he had left the night before, without her
even hinting at what she wanted from him. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.
By this time, Harm had pulled her to a position sitting in his lap.
He stopped for just a moment and
said, “Mac, I love you. Are you sure you want this?”
“Don’t say that you love me. I want
this, Harm. I want you. But all I’ve got is tonight. Give me a memory to hold
onto, but it can’t be anything else.”
They continued undressing each
other. Then, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He turned the bed
down and deposited her in it. Climbing in with her, he pulled her close and
held her tight.
For a few minutes they just lay,
clinging to each other. They had been so long getting to this moment that it
somehow needed to be savored.
He whispered, “You are so
beautiful.”
She was gazing in his eyes when she
responded with, “You’re beautiful too.”
Their lips fused; the kiss was so
intense that it took their breath away. Harm began running his
hands over her smooth skin.
She almost panicked. “Harm, I’m
gone in the morning. I don’t have anything to give you but tonight.”
He assured her, “That’s all I
need.”
=========================================
With the internal clock-keeping
track, Mac woke at the time she had determined she would need to begin getting
ready for her trip. What she found; though was that she was lying face down on
top of Harm, who was lying on his back. Her face was nestled snugly in the
crook of his neck, and his arms were wrapped tightly around her. It was
comfortable. She felt safe. She needed to get up, but didn’t want
to wake him. However, their position was making that impossible. As she moved,
even slightly, he was roused from sleep. Harm looked up into her eyes and
greeted her, “Good morning.”
“Hi.” She
returned. Then he kissed her, and her urgency in getting up
faded a little.
“You still have to leave, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I need to get in the shower
and start getting ready.”
“Can I give you a ride to the
airport?”
“Thanks. No. I’ve got a cab
coming.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
“Me too.” “Did we at least make you
a good memory to take?”
“It was the most wonderful night of
my life. Thank you, Harm.” This time she kissed him.
She moved to get up.
“No.” he challenged. “Give me ten
more minutes. Ten minutes can’t make that much difference.”
“Okay, but then I’ve got to go.”
Harm rolled them over so that they
were lying on their sides, facing each other. He kept one arm around her. With
the other, he lightly stroked her cheek. “Mac. I screwed up.” He
admitted, soberly.
“Oh?”
“I told you that this one night was
all I wanted – that it was enough. But, Sarah, it’s not. I want more. I love
you.”
“Harm, I love you too, but I’ve got
to get in the shower right now.”
She stood. He grasped her hand in
his and admired her form. Then he brought the back of the hand to his lips and
kissed it. “Goodbye, Darling.”
She half expected him to get in the
shower with her, but he didn’t.
Mac dried and dressed. When the
doorbell rang to announce the taxi’s presence, she picked up her bag and headed
to the door.
A note taped to the inside of the
front door read:
“I miss you already. I want you in my life. Promise me that we’ll talk when
you get back.
Please
be careful. I love you, Harm.”
She wiped a tear away as she exited
the apartment.