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TITLE: Periods Of Unrest: Part One *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* By AtieJen.
"I won't be doing this anymore, this is the last time." "Harry?" He heard that cool voice question him. Oh, how he loved that voice. It could cut him to shreds, and put him together. It was a voice that covered him in warmth in one moment, and in the next, freezes him. It was one of the first things that he loved about the man behind him. People often thought that it was the looks, but it wasn't, … not really. His lover was beautiful, yes, as would anyone be, considering his bloodlines but it was the voice that captivated him and drew him in. "I have to leave you." :Scoff: "So this is your meaning of love, is it?" "No it isn't, but you don't know what is going on." The other man pulled at his shoulders and turned him around, "No, I don't know what is going on, because you are not telling me. We have so many things against us already, do you need to add one more?" He couldn't meet his eyes, "Maybe what we have against us is too much." "It's only too much if we say it is. Do you think that this is easy for me?" "No, but it's not easy for me either. You're the only good thing going for me right now, and that counts for much, but it doesn't count for a whole lot overall and I've got to tell you, it's pulling me under." "It's pulling me too, Harry, but I can't let you go." With that statement, he felt himself pulled into a hard chest and a hot mouth against his. As with every time they kissed, he couldn't stop himself from melting into the kiss. This was what it was all about, their passion for each other. That hadn't waned, ever since their first kiss. Here, in this man's arms, he could forget for a moment, what was happening in the real world; he could belong to one man, and have the other man's devotion. A devotion that came, as a result of who he was, and not what he was. With their lips still pressed together, they tore at each other's clothes and were soon naked. This was what Harry was waiting for, the feel of the other's naked body rubbing against his. He couldn't help the moan that came from his mouth, at the touch of that hard chest. The next thing he knew, those lips left his, and were mapping their way down his neck and he couldn't help bending his head, to give his lover better access. "Mmm, … yes." He groaned out when he felt his lover's lips suck at his neck. His hands were touching every part of the body before him. He missed this. Ever since they first came together, he hadn't allowed anyone else touch him, because he knew no one else would compare. "Please." He begged. "Please what?" "Touch me." "I am." He heard his lover tell him against his throat. This made him shiver slightly and he could barely pull himself away to look into lust filled eyes. "Touch me." He demanded again, and made his way to the bed. There, he lay obscenely, throwing his legs apart and fondling his penis erotically. "I've missed you so much." He told the older man, looking at him through hooded eyes, an action that he knew would throw the other man's control out the window. Predictably, the other joined him on the bed and started placing soft kisses at his ankle. Oh, so he was upping the ante, there was nothing more erotic to Harry, than his looking down to see the older man anywhere beneath him. As he moaned at the sight before him, he felt a tongue lick at his ankle and make its way up his body. What really caused him to quiver and almost loose what little control he still had, was that whatever move the tongue made; it was followed by a flick of his lover's soft blond hair. "Oh, please, please." He couldn't stop moaning and before he knew it, he felt that head move upwards, getting to his thighs. The feel of hair on his hand and on his cock made him lose it and he screamed as he came to his climax. "Ahhhh." The scream, wasn't just pleasure though, because the moment his climax hit him, he felt a hard bite on his inner thigh. When he calmed down a bit, he looked down to see his lover suckling at the bite mark and rubbing Harry's cum over his spent cock. "Thank you. Did you miss me?" "Oh, you have no idea, Harry." At the sound of that voice, Harry felt his spent organ come back to life. His lover left it alone for a while, and crawled up his body to kiss him. A kiss, that was where they started, his lover's lips was sin personified, and he couldn't resist. He felt the bigger body cover him and touch him in numerous places, and as they twisted and molded their bodies together, he could feel their cocks rub against each other and in no time, he was quite hard. "I want to be in you, please." His lover lifted up and looked at him in surprise. They'd never done this, it was usually the other way round, but this time around, he wanted to know what it felt like to enter his lover's body. "You want me. Why?" He was asked somewhat suspiciously "I've never done this before, and I want to know what it feels like to be inside you. I like it when you enter me, and I just want you to feel the same." He sat up, "You know I don't do that, I'm quite happy to fuck you, Harry, isn't it good enough for you anymore?" "Anything that we do together is wonderful and you know it, but I want to know what it feels like to be a part of you, please. … I love you, you know that, and if you don't want to, I won't, but please, … just let me make love to you." He asked and then closed his eyes; ready for the rejection he was sure he was about to receive. This feeling was re-enforced, when he felt the weight of the bed lighten as his lover stood up. He didn't feel like watching the older man dress up to leave so he turned his head, and barely heard the soft incantation the other man muttered. Harry was quite surprised to feel soft hands on his face, turning his head to face the beautiful one beside him. "If we do this, we'll do it my way." "Really?" He laughed. As long as he was able to enter the older man, who cared how they did it. He knew that the smile on his face was bordering on being silly but that didn't stop him. "Yes, really. My way?" "Please. Any way, as long as you enjoy it, I just want you to feel what I feel, okay." "Okay, Harry." The eyes watching at him took on a look that he couldn't interpret, but he felt the soft hands map his face and his lover returned to his previous position, laying on top of Harry. They resumed their kiss and this was more intense than the previous one, because it was fueled by the knowledge of what they would be experiencing. The lips then left his and made their way down his chest, stomach, and navel, causing him to moan unconsciously. As they went further down, he felt a pair of fingers trace his lips and he opened his mouth to admit them, sucking them fiercely. He couldn't help the moan he released when he felt those lips reach his groin. They teased around his cock, blowing hot air on him and he couldn't help the motions he made. Looking down, he was about to stop licking the fingers and beg for those lips on his cock when he felt them swallow him whole. "Ohhhhhh, … Mmmmm" He moaned again as he felt the mouth slide upwards until it got to the head of his penis. As they teased him, he lifted his hips wanting to slide into the hot cavern that he was sure was at the tip of his cock; but he was to be disappointed because his lover left him hanging, … only to lift his body above his prone one. When he saw that, Harry had a suspicion of what was going to happen, and his eyes widened at the thought. His body was taut with friction as he waited for his lover's next move. The man above him looked straight into his eyes, then taking hold of Harry's penis, he kept it straight, and then slid down the hard rod, and sinking straight down to its root. As Harry felt his lover's ass hit his hip, he released a breath he wasn't even aware of holding. This was amazing, he'd never felt anything like this before, and it was as if his whole cock had been swallowed whole by a hot cavern. His lover shifted to adjust himself, and then rose up slowly. He hadn't reached the tip, when he slid down the shaft again their eyes not leaving each other. If there was ever a time that he doubted the other man's veracity, this wasn't it. Here they were open to each other, well, as open as they could be and in his lover's eyes, he was able to read that the older man was enjoying himself. With his lover's hands on his chest, the older man was able to levitate himself above Harry's penis and slide down more comfortably. There was no rushing their lovemaking, they moved and adjusted themselves to suit, and when it was almost overwhelming, Harry moved his hand from where he was clinging to the bed sheet and took hold of the penis before him. It was smooth, long, slick and hard and he molded it to his hands. The next time the other man raised himself; Harry stroked the cock in his hand in tandem. Soon, their motion was synchronous, and they almost didn't know where one stopped and the other began. Such pleasure couldn't last long and quite soon, they were falling off the pleasure cliff they had climbed. Through out their lovemaking, gray eyes remained intent on the green ones beneath him and it was only at the point of their almost simultaneous climax that they screamed each other's names. "Lucius." "Harry." Harry then felt his older lover press his lips against his and he opened his mouth to accept him. The kiss was reverent, just like their lovemaking and it brought tears to his eyes. "I love you, Lucius." He told his lover as they lay there, and he moaned in disappointment when he softened out of Lucius' body. The other man picked his wand and cleaned them up before they fell asleep. It wasn't long before he woke up, feeling quite comfortable in Lucius' arms. He was so tempted to leave it all alone and make plans for a repeat performance, but he knew that it was impossible. No matter how hard it was on his heart, he had to go through with his original intentions when he came here. After the lovemaking they'd just experienced, he was sad to see it end, but he couldn't continue. "What is wrong, Harry?" Lucius asked him from the vicinity of his head and above. "I can't come back," he answered softly. He heard the other man take a deep breath before leaving the bed. He followed in Lucius' footsteps and changed also. "Why are you doing this now?" "You know more than anyone, what it is like for me, Lucius, and I don't want to lose you, but if I continue this way, I will. They are tearing me apart, Lucius." "They are separate from us, Harry. What we have, has nothing to do with Dumbledore or Voldemort, you know that." While Harry knew that what the older man said was true, there was no disguising who they were and for a short moment, he'd been able to forget. He couldn't do it anymore. "I'm supposed to be the naïve one, Lucius, not you. There is no changing the fact that I'm Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived; and you are Lucius Malfoy, one of the most powerful wizards around, and a death eater of Voldemort's inner circle. We cannot leave them apart, … well I can't anymore." "It may look to the world that I'm in his inner circle, Harry but I thought you understood my position." "I understand, I do, really, and that is why I'm able to love you. I love you Lucius, I really do. But Ron and Hermoine have me over a barrel, and if I don't stop seeing you, they will find a way of using me to get to you. I won't betray you like that." "I can take care of myself, Harry." "Oh, I know that, but I won't be responsible for your being hurt, not while I can stop it, and I don't want them to be hurt either." "After all that they have done to you?" Lucius asked him. He thought back on that and he knew that his friends had hurt him. They found out about his relationship with Lucius by mistake. Actually, Ron did, when he caught Harry masturbating in the bathroom. He'd thought that he was the only one around and indulged in a fantasy about his lover, only to open his eyes and see Ron looking at him in shock. It wasn't too long before Hermoine had been roped into the secret, as Ron had difficulty keeping things from his girlfriend. He made them promise not to tell anyone, but it put a strain on their friendship. Ron couldn't accept that it was Lucius Malfoy, and Hermoine couldn't accept that it was a man. It took them the better part of three months of talking, arguing and almost hexing each other before they could reach a form of consensus about his relationship with Lucius. Now though, the strain was starting to show and they were threatening to reveal his secret to Professor Dumbledore. He used to think that they would be friends forever, but things had changed, especially since the other two got together. They were no longer the golden trio; it was the couple, plus one. As his relationship with Lucius progressed, Harry stopped spending Hogsmeade weekends with them because the moment he got into Hogsmeade, Lucius would have a port-key waiting to take him to a discrete location where they spent time together. The secrecy on his part, and the lack of approval on their part, put a big strain on their friendship and for whatever reason they were able to come up with, they felt that they couldn't keep his secret anymore. Funnily, his biggest fear wasn't that Lucius would betray him to Voldemort; it was that his relationship with Lucius would be discovered and he would be forced in one way or another to betray the man he loved. He was quite aware that their relationship was not without its risks, but for the time it lasted, it was well worth all the risks they took. "They are my friends, Lucius, and if it came down to a choice between you and them, it would be hard, but I will choose you." Lucius smiled in satisfaction at that, but he continued, "It would hurt me too much, Lucius and that is a choice that I'm not ready to make yet." "So you are choosing them, Harry. You are leaving me." Harry moved into the other man's arms and with tears running down his face, he hugged his lover close. "I love you, Lucius, please don't doubt that. And I'm not choosing them, I'm choosing you, I'm choosing you to live; I'm choosing not to be used against you, and I'm choosing not to let them use you against me. Don't think that I don't know what could happen if any other death eater found out about you and I." He heard Lucius whisper into his hair as he hugged him close, "I don't want to lose you." "I don't want to lose you too, but it will end one day, and maybe, we'll still love each other enough to find our way back." He told Lucius. He wanted so much to believe the words he'd just uttered but he knew that it was highly unlikely. What they had was good enough to last for the nine months that it did, longer than either of them ever thought, he knew, and he would cherish the memories. But it was time for him to let go, time for the both of them to let go. He'd had enough of hidden rooms in hide away places; he'd had enough of rooting in the dark and no matter what his friends intentions were, they were right about one thing, it was time for him to return to standing in the light. Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Lucius looked at him intently before stating, "I won't be seeing you again." No, he didn't think Lucius would be seeing him again, but he couldn't tell the older man that, so he just leaned up and kissed him fiercely. When they finished, he told his lover, "Don't forget me, Lucius." "Neither should you, Harry." They shared another kiss before they moved apart. Harry kept his eyes on his older lover as he lifted the port key and before he called out the location to set it off, he looked at Lucius as though trying to memorize him. He would never forget this sight of his lover, standing proud, even with his sad eyes. "Good bye, Lucius. I love you." There was a silence after his pronouncement, and then the other man answered him, "I love you too, Harry." This was the first time he'd ever heard those words from Lucius, it was a pity that it was said just as he was leaving, and the words weren't incentive enough for him to stay. They nodded at each other and he called out, "Hogsmeade." For Harry, it was the closing of a major chapter of his life, and he didn't think he'd be getting over it anytime soon. For the first time in his life, he'd loved someone with his whole being, and it felt like it was tearing him apart to let go, but it was something he'd had to do. He didn't want to be responsible for anyone else getting hurt, especially not the man he loved. When he was released just outside Zonko's, he quickly made his way back to Hogwarts and his bed. He needed to have a good cry and fortify himself for what was to come. The End.
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