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Title: Holding On (Part 3).
Holding On Chapter 3. **~~**~~~***~~
There was a part of him that wanted to run to his parents and tell them everything that was going on, his weight gain, the lump, lethargy, and general moodiness, but the larger part of him didn't want to tell any one. He couldn't positively identify his reason for keeping this away from his parents, but he couldn't bring himself to tell them just yet, as if there was something keeping him from spilling a secret he didn't know he was keeping, and this made him scared. There was something wrong, of that he had no doubt, but what could it be and he really wished he could talk to someone about it. To avoid being ill, he kept away from the kitchen until he was sure that his parents had finished their coffee and then took his own breakfast. "Mom, please can you make some sandwiches for me to take with me." "Sure honey, but why do you need them when you can have lunch in the cafeteria?" "The last time I went there, I felt like throwing up and I don't want the same thing to happen today." "You're still throwing up then?" Jonathan asked him. "Only once this weekend, but I want to avoid it if I can, Dad." "Clark, … There is nothing you want to share with us, is there?" "What do you mean, Mom?" What did they suspect? "I mean, you're sleeping too much, avoiding your friends, what is wrong?" Martha asked him, standing in front of him, "There is nothing wrong, Mom, I was just catching up this weekend." He told her, dismissing his fear in the face of her worry. "Okay honey, Here is your sandwich, we'll see you after school." "Thanks, Mom, I'll be going to Lex's to start my lit assignment." "Hmm…" His father grunted at that. He ignored it and said goodbye to them. He barely made it on time to the school bus and sat with Chloe and Pete. They were surprised to see him on the bus and teased him for his punctuality. It was a good feeling, laughing with his friends again, something he had missed for a while, so he let them have their fun and laughed with them when appropriate. His ate his sandwiches in the Torch office during lunchtime and drank a lot of water to counter his tiredness. School was quickly over and Clark gave his contribution to the paper to Chloe for her to edit and left his friends at the Torch office. It was easy enough for him to get to the castle and the cook let him in. Since Lex had told them he was to be expected, he went straight to the library, after being told that Lex was not at home. It didn't take him a long time to find the books he needed and he was quickly engrossed in the work before him. After about an hour of work, he couldn't stay awake any longer and fell asleep on his book. What he didn't know was that Lex returned 1 1/2 hours later and saw him still asleep. When the older man saw how tired he was, he decided to give his friend another hour's free time to sleep, going into his study to do his own work. With the expiration of the allotted time, Lex returned to the library to awaken his sleeping friend, a task that took him the better part of 30minutes. "Clark!" He heard as if from a distance. "Yeah, what?" "I didn't know you slept so much." "Lex!? What are you doing here?" "Mmm, I live here; my library, my home. Ring any bells yet?" "Oh. I'm still here. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to fall asleep. I'm really sorry." Clark apologised profusely. "Don't worry about it, you needed the rest." "How long have I been asleep?" "Depends, I've been home for 2 1/2 hours so add on to that." "Why didn't you wake me? I didn't mean to be rude?" "Stop. First, you were not being rude, and second, it took me about 30 minutes to wake you, and third, if you were that tired, why didn't you use one of the rooms?" Lex told him. "I wasn't really that tired, it's just…" how could he tell Lex this " I've just been sleeping a lot recently." Lex raised his brows, "You're not worried." "C'mon, Lex, you don't worry when you are sleeping, it's when you're not sleeping that you need to worry." "Yes, but this is Smallville." Lex smirked at him causing him to snort in laughter "I guess you're right." "So, next time you need to sleep, take a room okay?" "Are you sure?" "C'mon." Lex took him to one of the tastefully furnished rooms upstairs. It was beautiful and had an en-suite bathroom. "This one, if you need somewhere to crash okay." "Thank you, Lex." "Don't mention it." Lex told him with a small smile as they went back down the stairs. He stopped his friend with a hand on his elbow and looking into his eyes, he tried to let him know how much the offer meant to him. "Really, Lex, Thank you." Lex looked at him quietly for a moment before smiling back with the smile reaching his eyes, as he answered "You're welcome, Clark, it is my pleasure." This wasn't like the truck that Lex had offered him for saving his life. This meant so much more to him and he really didn't have the words to express it to the other man, but he had a feeling that Lex really knew how he felt. And that was all that needed to be said between them. Even though it looked like it was finished, Clark could still see the worry in Lex's eyes. "There is something else, isn't there? What is wrong, Lex?" "Come on, let's go into my study, I want to talk to you." They made their way out of the library and when they got to the study, Clark sat on the couch waiting for Lex to start their discussion. He had no idea what the older man wanted to talk about, but wasn't really worried about it. Their talk on Friday had cleared most of the air between them, and it was a good feeling, being able to tell Lex what was worrying him. Now, Lex took the other end of the couch and watched him for a moment, and when he began to fidget under the intense stare, his friend began to talk. "Clark, I know that you'll probably tell me that it's none of my business, _" Here, he interrupted his friend, "Ask me first, Lex. If I can't answer, I'll tell you." : Deep Breath : "Hear me out first, all right. This sleeping of yours, does it have anything to do with what happened to you on homecoming night?" "How? I don't understand." He asked Lex. He was afraid that Lex knew what Whitney did to him. : How could Lex know? And what would he tell Lex if he did? : What Clark never realised was that his immediate reaction to Lex's question, told his older friend a lot more that he ever wanted to. The sharp look of fear in his eyes, and the way he declined from meeting Lex's eyes, gave him away. "Something happened out there." "I know, they hung me on a cross." He told Lex fairly deprecatingly. "I know that part and I saw the bruises, so at the very least, they must have hit you once." Clark just looked wide eyed at his friend. What more did he suspect? "Have you told your parednts?" "No Lex. I can't tell them something like that?" "Why not?" He didn't answer. "Have you told anyone, Clark?" Clark didn't answer him, but just shook his head negatively. Lex looked at him for a moment, and then stood and went to pour himself a drink, saying as he went there, "You know, Clark, when I first lost my hair, it was very hard for me to deal with, and I almost fell into a deep depression. One of the people I spoke to told me that that sleepiness and tired ness can be a part of it. Are you depressed about it, Clark?" Clark's next breath was in part relief that this was his friend's suspicion. "No. I'm handling it." "Maybe, but are you dealing with it? What happened out there Clark?" : Clark shrugged in answer. : "I'm worried about you, Clark. If you don't want to tell me what happened, tell someone you trust." "_It's not a matter of trust, Lex. There is nothing to tell." "Even if I believe you, I still think that there is something troubling you about that night, and if you're depressed about it, try and deal with it; If you're angry, let someone know, don't bury the anger because, it's likely to swallow you whole. I should know." "Thanks, Lex. But I'm fine." When Clark saw the disappointing look on his friends face, he told him more resolutely, "Really, I'm fine, and if I need to talk, I know I can come to you, thanks." "Okay, Clark, as long as you know." Lex told him. "My parents would be worrying by now, Lex, so I have to go." "I guess so." They went down to the library where he packed his books and took his leave of his friend. His parents were not happy to hear that he had fallen asleep in Lex's mansion but since they knew that he was going through some changes that affected his sleep patterns, they didn't really blame him, but advised him to avoid spending an inordinate length of time outside his home until his sleep patterns resolved itself. The next couple of days went in the same pattern as his Monday except that he didn't go to Lex's after school. Partly because he was still embarrassed about his sleeping faux pas and partly because he'd seen Victoria in town. This didn't stop Lex's nightly phone calls, even though the older man called on alternate days. Through their phone calls, he was able to talk more to his friend about homecoming, and though he didn't tell Lex everything, he came to terms with the fact that sometimes, like then, there was nothing you could do with the odds against you. Since he wanted more than anything to be normal, he had to accept that a normal person wouldn't have been able to escape Whitney and his friends. By midweek, he was fully caught up in most of his schoolwork and this came from spending so much of his time in the house. He spent more time with his parents and tried to reassure them that he was okay. He'd also taken to going down into the storm cellar to watch his ship. This took the place of the time he usually spent watching the stars. He reasoned that the stars were a dream; an extension of his imagination, while the ship was real. Even if he couldn't decipher its markings and secrets, it was something of his home. While in the company of his ship, he could feel it resonating, especially against the lump in his stomach, so he lay as close to it as he could and fell asleep. When he woke up, he didn't feel as disoriented as he would have expected, but was leaning as close to the ship as possible. Clark wasn't sure how long he slept for, but by the time he woke up, he knew that his parents would have been worried about him. He went up to the house and saw his Mom dropping the phone. "Mom, Dad?' "Clark! Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you and none of your friends seem to know where you were." Martha screeched at him in worry. "I was sleeping down in the storm cellar." "Your ship." His dad stated, and then looked at him intently, "Does it have anything to do with this?" His dad asked. "No, not really. I just went down to see if there was anything I could find out, and stayed out there too long and fell asleep." "Sleeping again. Clark, … are you sure there is nothing you want to talk to us about? The change in your sleeping pattern isn't like when you get a new power. I must tell you, this worries me." His Mom told him. "I'm sorry about that, Mom, I don't feel any new power either, but I don't know what else it is." "Oh. … Well, are you ready to eat?" "Yes, Mom, let me just wash up." He went up to his room and changed into jogging pants and about three tee shirts and a shirt before washing up in the bathroom. "Clark, why are you wearing so many clothes?" He couldn't tell her about his lump so he fixed his gaze on the table and answered her, "No reason, Mom, I just feel like it." "Have you put on weight, Clark?" His father asked him and he shrugged in answer and opened the fridge for his milk. "Lex was here to see you earlier, and Lana called." His father then told with disapproval at the first name and a smile at the latter. "Thanks. I didn't mean to worry you, I didn't know I would fall asleep down there, okay." "It's okay, Clark." His dad told him, even though it was clear that it wasn't. "Next time, just let us know when you are going down to the storm cellar okay." "Alright, Dad." Clark ate more than usual, to the amusement of his parents, but he ignored them and settled to enjoy what he was eating. He complimented his Mom on her meal, making her blush and the rest of them laugh. Just as they were finishing though, he heard his best friend's car coming down their drive. "Lex!" He exclaimed with a smile. "What? Where is he?" Jonathan asked him. "He's driving down. Thanks for dinner, Mom." He started, as he made his way from the table. "What about your desert, Clark?" "That's okay Mom, I'll have it later, after I've seen Lex." He got to the door as Lex was coming out of his car. The sight of his friend put a smile on his face. "Lex, it's good to see you, what brings you to our neck of the woods?" "I came to see you. How are you doing, Clark?" "Okay. C'mon, let's go up to the loft." They walked up to his barn in a silence that was not uncomfortable. When they got there, Clark quietly watched his friend, waiting for him to start by letting Clark know what brought Lex out to the Kent farm. "I came to see you earlier, your parents gave me the impression that they had no idea where you were." "Yeah, I was trying to find some things in the attic and the silence lulled me to sleep." "There's the sleep again. What's going on, Clark?" "Nothing. … It's just a sleeping disorder that's all." "What has your doctor said?" "I haven't seen a doctor, Lex, and I don't need one." "Listen, Clark, I can get you to a very discrete doctor that won't ask too many questions, I just want to make sure that you are okay." Placing his palm comfortingly on his friends shoulder's he told him quite seriously "I'm fine, Lex, if it gets serious, then we'll do something but," he shrugged, "there is nothing to worry about." "Are you sure, Clark?" Lex asked him. He could see that his friend was very worried, so he looked straight into his eyes and dropped whatever shields he usually kept before answering, "I'm sure, Lex, very sure." Lex studied his eyes for a time before blinking. "Okay." And that was it, asked and answered. "If it's all the same to you, I'll leave you now and go and get my own sleep." "Thanks for worrying about me, Lex." "That's friendship isn't it?" Lex smirked at him, raising a brow. "It is. … To me anyway." "That's what I thought. Good night, Clark." Lex said to him as he opened the door to his car. "Good night, Lex." He stood watching his friends tail lights till he couldn't see them anymore. He then went in to see his Mom waiting up for him. "Is Lex gone?" He nodded in response, still smiling. His next port of call was the fridge to pick up the left over desert. "Is everything okay with the both of you?" "Yeah, Mom, he came to see if I was alright." "And are you?" she asked him looking into his eyes. "Yes I'm okay." He laughed slightly. "What is going on with everybody?" "Were just worried, Clark. This sleeping is new and I guess we don't, … I don't understand." "But we'll deal with it, right, like we've dealt with the others." He sounded so sure that his Mom would help him, and to some extent, he was sure because they always helped him. "Yes, we'll deal with it as a family." The next two days were relatively easy on him, so he did his chores early and went to school with his friend, on the bus. To avoid any accidents at lunchtime, he was still taking his lunch with him and spending the time with Chloe and Pete at the Torch office. It was late Friday afternoon, at the end of their classes, while they were celebrating an early start to the weekend that Lana came into the office, and he had an immediate adverse reaction to her necklace. It was the worst he'd ever had and it went straight to his lump as a sharp piercing pain. He gasped and doubled over in pain instinctively protecting his stomach. "Clark!!" Three voices immediately shouted out to him. "What's wrong with you, Clark?" Chloe who was closest to him asked him as she guided him to the nearest chair squatting beside him to gain clear access to his face. Since he couldn't tell them that he was reacting to Lana's necklace, he turned away from them and effected a feeling of bafflement complete with it's expression on his face. "I don't know. I just felt sick all of a sudden." At that moment, Lana came closer to him, probably in comfort and this increased the piercing pain multiplied. "Aww!" He screeched unthinkingly, crouching lower. "What?" "It hurts." How could he tell them to get Lana out of the way? At other times, he could bear it until he manoeuvred his way away from her to avoid anyone noticing but this time, he couldn't even stand on his own two feet. With the pain, he was getting weaker and just as he was about to decide whether to give into the pain or force himself to stand and put some space between him and the source of his pain, he heard the voice of his salvation. "Is this a private party or can anybody join in?" Lex's voice sounded as though from a distance. "Mr Luthor." Pete said grudgingly, while the others greeted him by his first name. "Hi, Lex." He guessed they were somewhat blocking his view because he heard his friend ask, "Has anyone seen Clark?" Chloe stood at this allowing him a view as she answered, "Yeah, he's here. "Clark!?' Lex exclaimed softly as he entered the office fully and took up Chloe's former position regardless of the damage to be done to his expensive clothes as he balanced on knee on the dusty ground. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. Clark was somewhat comforted at this because it wasn't often that the other man allowed any emotion to show in his voice, his face sometimes, but not his voice. "I'm fine." Clark managed to tell him. He could barely breath it out because Lana came closer along with Lana and Pete, to hear whatever he had to say. He hated that this had to happen in front of them and was deeply embarrassed. There was only one person that had ever seen him in a position of weakness and he would have liked it to remain that way for a very, very long time, forever if he could manage it. "Oh this has gone far enough. You are not fine, and you have to accept that." Well, not at the moment he wasn't, but he'd be better in a minute, if the girl would just get her necklace away from him. He leaned into Lex's shoulders to whisper in his ears, not meaning to insult anyone, "Get Lana away from me." "What?" He could hear the surprise. "Please get Lana away from me and then get me away from here." He gritted even as he whispered. He was getting weaker, and he was barely holding on. Lex stood away from him and then drew their attention, "Okay people, lets give him some space to breath shall we, Miss Lang, a moment?" Clark was unaware of whatever Lex whispered to Lana Lang to get her to leave the office but it worked like a charm. Lex then returned and helped him to his feet. "I'm going to take him home." He told the two worried teens remaining, not giving them any option opposing him. Chloe stood before Clark and asked if he was going to be okay and he could do nothing but nod, leaning on his saviour. Usually he would have been back to his full strength the moment he was away from the rocks but these pains had been sharp and centred at one point, leaving traces a few minutes later. By the time they got to the car, he was back to his full strength and didn't lean on Lex so much and he was sure that his friend noticed it. He must also have noticed his surreptitious touches to the lump on his stomach. It had grown bigger but was still somewhat hidden by his layers of clothes. Lex helped him into his seat and went round to the driver's side. "You know, Clark, there is such a thing as chivalry before your lady love, and there is being healthy so that you can pursue her another day." "Chivalry?" "Yes." Lex turned to look at him after wearing his driving gloves and shades. "You know, denying yourself the help you really needed so that you don't look as though you are not strong in front of the Lana." "Is that what you think?" "Well, what else am I supposed to think? The first thing you asked me to do was get her away from you after all." "It wasn't that at all." He told his friend leaning back on the headrest of his seat and closing his eyes. "Then what is it, Clark? What is going on? This friendship thing, I thought it went both ways?" Lex asked him with a minuscule of bitterness in his voice. "I don't know, Lex. Honestly, I don't." He answered wearily. "Are you telling me the truth?" Opening his eyes, he looked at his friend for a moment waiting for him to acknowledge him even though he was driving. When Lex did, he said, "Yes, I am." He knew that he told Lex a lot of lies, but when it was important, he made sure that Lex knew when he was being truthful. "Okay, then what about the doctor I told you about? At least let then rule out whatever they can. This is Smallville, Clark, weird things always happen here." "Tell me about it, but I don't do doctors. Thanks though." He glanced out of the window and saw that they were on the way to the Kent farm. "Are you taking me home?" "Yes, Clark. Remember that you were ill not too long ago, okay?" "I don't want to go home and I can feel better already." "hnnh, right." Lex snorted at him doubtfully. "Really Lex. I feel better and I want to use your library, please." He pouted at his friend. He knew that it was somewhat childish but he really didn't want to go back home. He'd been going straight home from school all week to avoid drowsing in strange places and wasn't ready to go home yet. He had a late curfew so he could afford to spend some time with his friend. "My library?" "Yes. You said I could use it, and I need to do my lit assignment." "I knew you were my friend for something, apparently, it's my library." Lex said to him, keeping his face sombre but he could hear the underlying amusement. "Yes Lex. I love you for your library, funny it's taken you this long to find out." He answered cheekily. And they both laughed at that. Before the laughter could die out Lex made an illegal turn and started the journey to the mansion. "What's your lit assignment all about?" "Oh, I'm supposed to read two authors and do a comparative study on their writing styles." "Who are your authors?" Lex asked him? He knew that whatever he asked Lex, the other man would answer him honestly, giving him insights that he would otherwise have not seen, also asking him questions that made him think harder. That was why he took the opportunity when given, to talk to Lex about his schoolwork. Some times, he wondered if he was being a burden to Lex when he came to him with his problems, meagre though they were but Lex never gave him an indication of such so he continued. Maybe he would ask one day but that day was a long way off. For now, he would keep on, and enjoy Lex's company, while they discussed either dead authors or ancient history, after all there was nothing Lex liked more than his Alexandra the Great era and complex, and he liked to indulge Lex by listening to him. "I'm comparing the poetic writing styles of E. A. Poe and Shakespeare." "You're aware that you have a contrasting basis don't you, with Poe being American and William Shakespeare being English." Lex told him. "Yes, but that is something I can use to differentiate and compare their writing styles. Maybe it wasn't just a reflection of their time, it was also an expression of their place of origin and how they lived." "How they lived?" By this time, they had reached the mansion and were on their way into the library, bypassing Lex's study." "Yes, like comparing Shakespeare with another English author of another time and era, like Oscar Wilde for instance." "Nature versus nurture, hunh." "What?" Before Lex could explain further, his stomach growled loudly and there was no way they could ignore it. Clark was so embarrassed and had nowhere to hide his face. "Oh I'm so sorry Lex. I …" "Don't worry about it Clark, I haven't eaten yet either, come on, we can continue our discussion in the dining room. Anything in particular you want to eat?" Still embarrassed, Clark could only mumble in the negative as he followed his friend out of the room. They got to the dining room to see that the servants had already prepared a pasta meal and set it on the table, ready for them. Clark first gagged at the aroma but managed to bite it down before drinking a large glass of water as he sat down. The history and literature lessons continued while they were eating, albeit sporadically. When they finished, Clark made the mistake of not telling them not to serve them the optional coffee that they always did at the end of the meal, so when he got whiff of the coffee coming his way, he blanched and made a quick dash for the nearest lavatory, where he got rid of his recently digested meal. After a few dry heaves, as soon as he was sure that nothing else would come up, he got up to find a pale hand holding on to a glass of water for him. Lex leaned on the door and looked at him through hooded eyes. "Thank you." He said to Lex, avoiding his eyes. He then went to the sink and rinsed his mouth with the water he was offered. Before the silence could become oppressive, he left the lavatory and returned to the dining room. The aroma of coffee was still there so he just left the glass on the table and took his leave. Lex followed him silently till they got to the library and he sat and watched his friend leaning on the door. He was waiting for Lex to take the initiative, so he would know how and what they would discuss. But Lex did nothing like that, he just continued keeping silent. "Well, I have some reports I have to finish, so I'll be in my study." Lex told him quietly and started to leave. When that happened, Clark was faced with the prospect of remaining in the library alone, and that didn't appeal to him. He'd really enjoyed the time he spent with Lex, and in the midst of his present crises, it was one of the more calming influences he could experience. "You want some company?" "Are you sure? I'll be working." "So would I. Lets go." He picked his books and selected a few from Lex's collection before following the older man to his study. While Lex went straight to his desk and computer, Clark made himself comfortable on the couch and coffee table that gave him the best view opposite his friend, in case they were going to have conversation. It wasn't quite an hour later that Clark was drowsy enough to sleep over his books. He didn't hear Lex first three calls but woke when the other man shook him slightly. "Clark, you're sleeping again. Do you want to rest upstairs or should I just take you home." "Oh, I'm sorry. Will I be inconveniencing you if I stay?" "No I wouldn't have invited you if that were the case, I am alone in the castle. Victoria has gone back to Metropolis for a while, so you should be comfortable." He finished with a half smirk. "Thanks." He said to his fried smiling back. "Wake me in about an hour and a half, all right; I'll have to go home by then." "1 1/2 hours, not a problem." If only they both had known that those would be famous last words for the both of them. Clark meandered his way upstairs and made it to the bedroom he'd been allocated. He wasn't really comfortable sleeping with his layers but since he had something to hide, he only took off his jacket and shoes before sliding into the comfortable bed and sleeping the sleep of the innocent. It was so innocent that he was unaware of the drama that would unfold while he was sleeping.
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