MY WHIMPER ARM
It is awful having a whimper arm,
some things you cannot do,
It is quite awkward when you
have to go to the loo,
Getting panty-hose and underwear down
is not too bad at all,
It’s trying to get things straight again,
your husband you do call,
If his hands are cold it certainly adds
much to all his fun,
And it seems to take forever for the
simple task to be done.
At last it’s nearly completed, the kind
act is almost through,
Until he pulls up your hose to high
almost cutting you in two.
Today I tried to make some pies, my
left hand working overtime,
The first part was easy, but to try and roll
out pastry nice and fine
Is not so simple when you can only roll with one
hand, guide with the other,
But as long as we have a pie I don’t suppose
any one will care or brother.
I will not mention antics in the tub trying to
keep one arm dry,
Being tickled whilst being washed, laughing
hard until you do cry.
But the biggest whimper is getting comfy
ready to sleep in bed
And a whimper wakes you and you
bonk yourself on the head.

(Millicent) Ann Margetson 16 February 2004