First Light
by Astra <astraplain@yahoo.com 

"Tell me."  she commanded, then ruined the effect by 
giggling.  It made him smile around the bottle he was 
drinking from.

"Give me that." She took the bottle from him.  Not 
that he was able to put up much of a fight anyway.   
He'd just come back from Will Riker's bachelor party 
and was much more than just a little drunk.

It didn't help that she was in much the same state 
having just returned from Tokyo where Deanna's 
bachelorette party was still in full swing.  She 
wiped off the mouth of the bottle before tipping some 
of the liquid into a glass.  

They'd found a quiet corner in this nearly deserted 
nightclub and sat there, talking and drinking, brandy 
for her, vodka for him.  It wasn't what either of 
them usually drank, but they'd somehow forgotten that 
when they ordered.  Especially since sometime in the 
last hour they'd decided to share.

They would have preferred a restaurant to this seedy 
club with it's shabby decor and worn out stripper but 
neither of them were exactly sober enough to risk 
being seen anywhere but here.  After all they were 
officers, and Starfleet could be as demanding as a 
military organization when it came to conduct 
unbecoming an officer.  

They'd both begged out of their parties early, 
neither one comfortable with the wild antics.  
Meeting unexpectedly in the transport station, they'd 
decided to get a bit of "hair of the dog." before 
heading off to visit a mutual friend.  It wouldn't 
exactly do to show up in the quiet of town of Alto, 
Michigan at this time of night and in this state.  
Especially when neither of them really wanted to make 
this trip to begin with.

"So how is Mrs Keel?"

"I spoke to her this morning and explained that we 
would be late.  She insisted anyway.  Said she'd 
leave the light on for us."

"She always was determined to have her way, Jean-
Luc."  Beverly slurred.  After all she was an 
elementary teacher for nearly 30 years.  You have to 
be determined to survive a job like that."

"Uh." Jean-Luc grunted noncommittally and scowled at 
the empty bottle before him.  Across the table 
Beverly continued to nurse her drink oblivious to his 
scowl.  

"We're out of brandy." he informed her.  "Shall I 
order another?"

"No.  Jean-Luc, we can't stay here all night.  We've 
got to get to the Seattle transport station before it 
closes."

"I know." he sighed.  "It's hard to believe it's been 
30 years."

Beverly was lost.  "What's been 30 years?"  Jean-Luc 
wouldn't meet her gaze.

"Nothing.  Forget it."

"I hate when you do that.  Now tell me.  What's been 
30 years."  Even pleasantly drunk she didn't let 
anything slide.

"Since I've been to that nightclub.	

"Which club?  The one in Florida?"

"Um hm."  he confirmed wishing he had never brought 
it up.

"You mean the night club in Lake City, Florida, 
right?  The one they rename the Lake City Lockup?  
The one they built the police station across from  to 
save time arresting people?"

Jean-Luc groaned.  "Yes."

"When were you there before?" she demanded, her voice 
raising loud enough to attract attention.

"Yes, for Walker's bachelor party."  He stood 
suddenly, swaying a little and pulled her to her 
feet.  "Come on.  Let's get out of here."  Just a bit 
unsteadily he led her out of the club.  autumn air 
felt good after the stifling heat of the club.

Once outside she turned to him and demanded, "Spill 
it, Jean-Luc.  Jack was at that party and refused to 
tell me a thing.  I want to hear all about it."

Turning, he walked away, letting her catch up as well 
as she could.  He wasn't about to tell her anything 
willingly, the memories from that night so many years 
ago had haunted him since Will Riker had announced 
the location of his party.  But he knew that look, 
that tone of voice.  Even drunk he couldn't refuse 
Beverly anything, no matter how much it hurt him.

They walked slowly, leaving the seedy parts of town 
behind.  They passed a library and finally an all 
night store.  Jean-Luc had managed to prolong his 
story about that night, but he knew from Beverly's 
impatient fidgeting that he would have to get to the 
point soon.  Needing to fortify himself (and get rid 
of the headache he was just beginning to feel) he 
pulled her into the store.

"Two large bottles of headache reliever." he 
requested.  The salesperson studied him for a moment, 
sizing him up as if her were a drug dealer before 
finally getting the items.  Jean-Luc paid for them 
and quickly left the shop.  Beverly following close 
behind was just as glad to get out of that stifling 
little building.  Her head was beginning to feel like 
a balloon.

They walked a short way to a park and took a seat on 
the nearest bench, each taking a dose of headache 
reliever.  Within seconds their headaches were gone, 
but Jean-Luc wasn't feeling any better.

It took him the better part of an hour to tell the 
story, trying to edit out any unflattering details 
about Jack.  But Beverly knew him far too well, just 
as she had known Jack.  She listened carefully to 
what was said, and how he said it, and then 
translated into what she thought was a closer version 
of the truth.

"And so Jack confronted me about my feelings for you.  
He wasn't upset, just trying his best to keep me from 
making a fool of myself."

"And he did such a good job of it that he's kept us 
apart for more than 20 years.  Jean-Luc, Jack never, 
never meant for that to happen."  She reached out to 
caress his cheek.  "Jack was a wonderful, wonderful 
man, but he never understood that things don't last 
forever.  Death was just something Jack didn't think 
of.  If he had he never would have said what he did."

"No, that wasn't all of it Beverly.  Jack was right.  
It would have been disastrous for us to get together 
then, even if Jack weren't around.  Our goals were 
too different."

"And now?  Now that we both know where the other 
stands?  Now that we both know how the other feels?  
Now that we're no longer afraid?"

"Now is different." he assured her, leaning over to 
give her a gentle kiss.

*****

It was nearly dawn when they finally arrived at the 
Keel residence, hand in hand as they walked up the 
sidewalk.  The first rays of sunlight were just 
breaking the horizon, and Jean-Luc stopped a moment 
to watch.  A golden glow streaked the sky and 
finally, after 30 years, the memory of that last 
night brought him no pain.

:::end:::