Compromise (Part 4 of the "C" series)
by Astra <astraplain@yahoo.com

He lay there, pretending to sleep for at least 20 
minutes, unsure how to face her in the cold morning 
light.  What had happened last night, what was now 
between them; could they really pretend that it had 
never happened?  Did he want to?  Did she?

He could feel her beside him, her porcelain skin 
blazing supernova hot where it pressed against his.  
She was peaceful now, so different from the wildcat 
she had been the night before.  Their lovemaking had 
been frenzied, too desperate to really be satisfying, 
but it was what they both needed.  

*At least I hope it was.* he amended.  He wanted to 
take her in his arms right now, to hold her and care 
for her.  She was far too precious to be alone.  If 
only she could see that.  If only she would let 
someone love her the way she deserved to be loved.  
He would offer himself if he thought she might 
accept.  Unfortunately, he knew better.  

*Damn it!*  The last thing he wanted to be doing 
right now was thinking of *him*.  Not that puzzling 
out his feelings about this whole situation was any 
easier.  Clenching his fists, he tried to think 
clearly about this whole mess.  *Okay, think about 
this logically. *

*Did he love her?  Well... yes.*

*Did she love him?  Yes.*  He paused, then admitted, 
*but not that way.  It was probably affection more 
than love.*

*Did he regret what had happened between them?  No.*

*Did she?  I hope not.*

"No she does not." she whispered, her body turning 
towards his.

"What?" he demanded, startled.  All hope of being 
cool and rational fled.

"I said I don't regret what happened last night."  
she propped herself up on one elbow and smiled down 
at him.  "And you really should learn not to talk to 
yourself."  She kissed the tip of his nose.  "At 
least not out loud."

"How long have you been lying there pretending to 
sleep?" he demanded.

"About ten minutes longer than you."  she replied.  
"And I asked myself all the same questions."  She 
grinned impishly.  "Of course I didn't ask them out 
loud."

That sounded a lot like a challenge to him.  One that 
he was not about to let go unanswered.  Reaching up 
he gathered her in his arms and pulled her down, 
planning to wrestle her.  She surprised him by 
kissing him on the lips, then moving downward out of 
his grasp.  He let her go, leaning his head back and 
moaning.  What that woman could do with her mouth.  
Even Deanna wasn't this sensual.

Their lovemaking this time was slow and gentle, so 
different from the night before.  Different even than 
the time he hosted Odan.  This time it was just the 
two of them, with no hurt and no symbiants between 
them.  It was glorious.

When they woke again it was late, leaving just enough 
time for Beverly to shower and dress before her 
breakfast date with Jean-Luc.  The irony of that 
didn't escape either of them.  She gave him and 
apologetic kiss, then hurried out of the room, 
leaving him to fend for himself or return to his 
quarters and prepare for the day.  He sat in her 
quarters for a long time before heading to his 
quarters to change into his duty uniform.  He had the 
feeling it was going to be a long day.

*****

She occupied his thoughts all day, causing Deanna to 
eye him curiously more than once as he shifted and 
fidgeted in his chair.  Thankfully the captain had 
retreated to his ready room to prepare for their next 
mission.  If he had had to sit next to Jean-Luc 
Picard while thinking those thoughts about Beverly... 
well, it would not have been pretty.

He felt Deanna's mind touch his and quickly started 
thinking about math.  It was one of her least 
favorite subjects and usually served to block their 
connection.  Unfortunately even that didn't work 
today.  She stood, motioning him towards the 
conference room.

"Mr Data, you have the bridge.  Commander."  She 
motioned him ahead of her and followed closely as he 
dragged his feet up the ramp and into the lounge.  
Once there, he walked straight to the window, not 
trusting himself to meet her amused gaze.

"Will, turn around."  she insisted, then added 
lightly, "Unlike some of your women, I don't bite."

"Very funny Imzadi.  Ha ha."  he remained facing the 
stars, watching her reflection in the transparent 
aluminum.  She walked up behind him and placed her 
arms around his waist.  

*Really, Imzadi, after all this time you still think 
you can hide your feelings from me?  You've done 
nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.*  They 
rarely communicated this way, because Will found it 
difficult but today the presence of her in his mind 
was a comfort.  He slowly turned to look at her, 
taking her in his arms.

"I know that Imzadi, but ..." he trailed off 
helplessly, unable to vocalize the storm of emotions 
he felt.  Frustrated he finished with, "I just don't 
know what to do."

"Does Beverly?"  It was no surprise that she knew who 
his lover was but it still startled him to hear her 
say it.  He shook his head slowly.

"I don't know."

"Then ask her."  Deanna stepped back and looked into 
his eyes.  Such lovely eyes.  "It doesn't matter what 
the captain, or I or anyone else thinks about what 
has happened.  The only two people whose opinions 
matter are yours and hers.  Don't forget that.  You 
must decide what you want from this relationship and 
then you must tell her."

"But.."  Will started to argue and she stopped him.  

"Beverly must do the same Will.  Without you or I or 
especially the captain influencing her.  Understand?"

He nodded once, his eyes reflecting his fear.  

"If you are honest with her Will, you will not hurt 
her."

Will gathered Deanna into a fierce embrace and 
desperately hoped she was right. 

*****

He arrived in her cabin at 1700 hours carrying a 
bottle of sherry.  He had carefully chosen something 
that was not Picard vineyards.  She noticed 
immediately and rewarded him with a smile.

"Don't open it yet, Bev."  he stopped her as she 
reached into a drawer for a corkscrew.  She turned to 
look a question at him, and he caught her hands, 
drawing her close.  "We need to talk - without any 
outside influence."

"You talked to Deanna."  she told him knowingly.

He nodded, "Yes.  But this isn't about her.  Or the 
captain."  At that, Beverly's gaze slid away from 
his.  He brought it back by gently caressing her 
cheek.  "Please don't look away, Beverly.  This is 
important."  He took a deep breath and whispered "So 
very important."  Her brilliant indigo eyes met his 
again.

"I know that Will.  I've been thinking about... last 
night." She gave a small laugh.  "I could think about 
little else today.  I'm sure I didn't get any work 
done."  She took his hand into hers running her thumb 
over his palm.  "We need to make a decision."

"About us." he agreed.

"Yes.  And about what happens next."

"What do you want to happen next?"

She held his gaze.  "I don't know."

"What would happen if you weren't in love with the 
captain?"  he asked softly, his gentle tone softening 
the question.  Mesmerized, she kept her gaze locked 
with his.  

"I would ask you to stay the night."  

His heartbeat quickened but he tried to keep calm.  
He knew it wasn't that simple.  For some reason it 
never was.  "But..." he prompted.  Her gaze fell 
away.  

"I do love him Will."  

"Then why aren't you with him?"

She shook her head sadly.  "I don't know.  He's so 
demanding, Will.  He expects perfection from himself.  
How could he ever love me when I represent what he 
considers a flaw?"  She sighed, turning away.  "If he 
did love me, could I stand knowing that I was his 
weakness?  She looked back at him, tears glistening 
in her eyes.  "I don't want to be anyone's Achilles' 
Heel, Will.  Especially not his."

"He would never think of you that way Beverly."  Will 
stroked her hair.  "Never."

"You're wrong Will.  "I'm already his weakness 
because every time he sees me he's reminded of Jack.  
I buried my husband twenty years ago, Will, and every 
damned day Jean-Luc digs him up again!"

She was up, pacing back and forth across the day 
room.  Will let her go, knowing she needed to do 
this.  When at last she had calmed again, he went to 
her, gathering her into his embrace and holding her 
tight.  They stayed that way a long time.

Breaking apart at last, Will cupped her face in his 
hands.  "Make me a promise, Beverly.  Promise me that 
you won't wait your whole life for him.  Give him 
time, as much as you want.  But don't give him your 
life."

Tears glittered in her eyes.  "I'll promise, Will.  
But only if you make me a promise too."

"What?" he asked warily.

"Don't stay in his shadow.  You're better than that 
Will.  You deserve to be happy and you deserve your 
own command.  You can have both, and it doesn't have 
to be on the Enterprise."  She reached up and kissed 
his cheek.  "Stay here as long as you want, but when 
the time comes to leave, promise me you'll go."

They stood, barely apart regarding each other 
weighing their ability to keep such promises.  
Slowly, as one, they move into an embrace.  "I 
promise," they spoke together, making them smile.  
The embrace changed to kisses which led to the couch 
and much much later, when the sherry was long gone, 
it led to the bedroom.  There, with only the stars to 
guide them, they merged.  

In the morning they parted, sharing one last sweet 
kiss; two people who shared the most precious of 
loving relationships.  Dearest friends.


::: the end :::