Teenage Groupie XXXXII
St. Margaret’s Clinic for the
mentally ill in Haralson, Georgia was where mama had been stationed all along in
a County, mere hours from our former home. To think she was so close to home all
that time and I had not deduced that on my own.
It was hard saying goodbye to the
people in Mexico. Candida cried buckets literally. She was not in the clinic the
afternoon Nick had arrived, but she had come in just in time to see me pack my
things. She clutched onto my clothes and squeezed it till it almost tore into
shreds. She completely ignored Nick; the fact that she had had a crush on him
when she was younger didn’t matter to her anymore, what mattered to her was
that her friend, her only friend was leaving…and that single fact tortured her
self-esteem. I promised to come back, to call, to write, to send emails and I
asked her to give me this time to make peace with those demons she always said
had tormented my complete mental recovery but she still wasn’t taking any of
the apologies. I had tears in my eyes too in having to abandon my work and my
new friends, people that believed in me without question, people that trusted me
without knowing my past. It was all so overwhelming. But for the first time in
my life I was strong, happy, content, and completely in love. I knew this was a
feeling I had been aiming for all my life…and it was mine--not the work of any
other person--and I had to go with it, and not deprive my aching heart its
pleasures any moment longer.
We stayed at a hotel a few miles from
my quarters that night and the next day Nick scheduled us on a flight headed
straight to Georgia. That night, we talked until the wee hours of the morning. I
was too distressed to make love or play out any act of sexual foreplay. He knew
I was anxious too so he used this opportunity to fill me in on his life over the
past year, during our separation. How did you keep from talking to me for so
long…that was my one question to him as soon as were alone?
“It was tough…I’m not gonna sit
here and tell you okay, I was a man and I could brave it. Shit…man…it was
one of the toughest decisions I had to make in my life and one of the worst
periods of it too. Right off when that argument took place I was mad, I was
angry with you for getting me so mad, and then I spoke to AJ about it, and he
was like… ‘Nick, you know you’re just tripping cos you love Nikki’. That
was what blew me away. AJ thought I was in love with you? He had all these
astounding stories of how he had seen me looking at you, how I was so nervous
the first day I met you, how I date every girl who has an inkling of resemblance
to you and how I look for every free opportunity to be with you. I knew all
this, but I didn’t think he knew. I sorta thought he wouldn’t like it…me
falling for his former girl and all, so I said fuck it...I don’t want to
complicate things any longer, if Nikki wants to be angry, so am I, it would give
me a chance to sort myself out inside. And as your messages came, your phone
calls---and if you didn’t know that was me one day that picked up the
phone,” he said with a chuckle. “…The sound of your voice just made it
worse for me---I fought harder and harder to live in denial. I practically lost
weight just thinking about you.”
He narrated intently as we sat down on
our usual spot on the floor leaning against the foot of the bed. I sat in
between his long legs, my back to his beating chest, my buttocks planted firmly
in between his crotch.
“So what made you come back?” I
asked, in an effort to ascertain at which point he had decided to own up to his
feelings for me.
“AJ did. Can you believe it? The one
guy you would think would be against it convinced me to take you back. You see,
he just proposed to his girl and I was left alone…he saw me sulking one day,
he just figured it out, he told me…he wouldn’t want to be the one to stand
in the way of my happiness…if I wanted you so bad…best wishes…he had no
hard feelings whatsoever, his only fear was if you would want me too. And that
was a chance I was ready to take. So here I am…taking that chance with my
woman by my side.”
He placed his lips on mine closing his
eyes to reassure himself that this was real. “Are you scared…about
us…about tomorrow… meeting your mum?” he asked, softly into my mouth.
My lips were still steaming from the
contact. “I’m not scared about us…” I began, tickling his lips with my
tongue, causing us to wrestle briefly with each other’s; his moist tongue long
enough to tackle mine. “But I am scared about tomorrow though…about my
mother that is.”
“Don’t be.” He shrugged.
“I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to you…not this time.” He
finished it by putting his tongue fully in my mouth and we exchanged territorial
zones inside us.
“When was the last time you had…
sex?” I asked throwing him off balance.
“Why?” he said laughing ashamedly.
“I don’t know…it’s been a
while for me…and you are not asking and…” my voice trailed off. I touched
his dick to make sure it was part of the conversation because it hadn’t seemed
to be. So if he was not urging for sex tonight I had a right to be at least
suspicious.
He thought hard for some seconds,
pushing my hands politely away from his genital area. “Gosh...I can’t even
remember...a little while. I know I saw this girl sometime and we did it in the
limo, but that’s about it,” he remarked flippantly unperturbed that this bit
of information could actually strike a nerve in me now unlike before when we
were not an item. However, it didn’t take a genius to decode that the girl had
meant nothing to him. “And you?”
“With Lance…about a year ago.
I’m sure I must have cobwebs as thick as cotton cloth right now,” I joked,
adjusting my aroused bosoms, certainly my perky nipples were part of this
stimulating conversation. “Are you scared…to have sex with me?” I hinted,
indicating at his limp member with my tweaked eyebrow.
Nick fell shy. “No…why should I
be?” he startled. “I’m just taking it slow…you said I should so I am.
Besides for the first time in my life I want to actually date before I
copulate...if you catch my drift?!” his eyes gleamed, reassuring me of his new
Nick dating step program. Nick knew how to make light of any situation. Inasmuch
as I wouldn’t have minded us fucking our brains out on the floor right now,
some things were best built up slowly, to arouse heightened interest. If he was
ready to wait so was I, no harm in some good old-fashioned dating. I wonder if I
could withstand the urge to want him inside me for too long.
“Common, lets sleep,” he said.
“What time is it anyway?”
I glanced at the clock and it was
4.40am. We had talked all the way to the morning.
We
shut our eyes curled up on the floor and slept for only a couple of hours before
the wake-up call went off. All night I kept wondering that if there were ever
anybody I could talk with all night, without any pressure to make love to or
satisfy in any deviant sexual way, it would be Nick. Wasn’t I lucky to have
such a man?