Teenage groupie…XXXVI
I had agreed for us to make our
departure from Las Vegas separately, not compounding the issue anymore than it
needed to be. Though we were inevitably going to the same destination, I felt
the different journeys would set our minds at ease and help us to come to terms
with our recent separation.
His large bodyguard stood
conspicuously behind us, hands akimbo as Lance leaned over to kiss me. His
breath was hot and steaming as he forced his tongue into my mouth for a
breathtaking intense goodbye kiss.
“I’m going to miss kissing you.”
He held my face fondly with trembling hands, sighing into my mouth. “I’m
going to miss waking up to your tantrums.”
I nodded, with teary eyes, which
Lance instantly wiped off with his thumbs. I took in a sharp breath. “I have
to do this Lance. I’m sorry.”
“I guess we ended up not going for
the prom.” He joked in between our sobbing.
“It’s okay…you would have caused
too much of a sensation there anyway,” I confessed. A prom with Lance Bass
would have made every headline in that high school for years.
He kissed me again. This time a
longer, more luscious one, with both our eyes shut to savor the moment, his body
squeezing the supple mammary glands of my body against his. One thing that was
certain was that I would miss Lance’s kisses very much. He could tease you and
entice your mouth with just the tender tip of his tongue, and when you wanted to
give him more of you, he would slip it out and lick up your lips, serenading
them to arousal. Lance definitely was a very satisfying kisser.
“So you got your tickets?” He
asked and I replied with a nod. “About this school, do you need money or are
you good for it?”
“I’m fine.” I lied. I had no
idea where the tuition money would come from, but I had hoped it would be from
the guys. They always said they would look out for me no matter what, and this
was one time I needed something, badly.
“Can I at least call you in
Orlando?” he begged.
“I’ll call you Lance. Is that
okay? I’ll call you…I promise.” My smile eased his aching heart. He pecked
my forehead for the last time before he turned to walk away.
I stood for a few extra minutes
watching his steps as he proceeded to the terminal and my body quivered in
heartache. I had had to let Lance go, and inasmuch as I felt I made the right
decision, at that moment I wasn’t so sure my heart could take a day alone, on
my own. Was this the best decision for me?
The next few days were hectic for me.
I took a job at the local Kroger grocery a few miles from my apartment. I was
the machine check out girl. I was surprised they let me take such a huge level
of responsibility, handling money and dealing with customers. But they did,
mostly because they were short-staffed at the time, they could have hired
anybody. I used Nick’s mom as a reference and they didn’t ask too many
questions.
Once I was fortunate to get him on the
phone, but on hearing my voice he quickly dropped it and handed the phone to
Brian, who covered up that his friend was not available. It was torture. I spoke
to AJ a couple of times and he was the only truthful one who spilled the beans
on why Nick was avoiding me.
“He’s angry at you. Can’t you tell…” AJ said on the phone two months later. Thus burying any false hope I had in me for a sweet reunion
“He’s angry at you. Can’t you
tell…” AJ said on the phone two months later. Thus burying any false hope I
had in me for a sweet reunion.
That summer was the worst and
loneliest time of my life. I had to spend it alone in the apartment Nick put me
in Orlando, where he carefully avoided visiting. It was not like he needed, it
wasn’t that big or vivacious. It was more or less a bachelors pad, with one
bedroom, an overly spacious living room, a tiny obsolete kitchen, a
small-supposed garden at the back shed and a quaint front porch. It was hardly
lived-in; the exquisite furnishings were still new, there were no kitchenware
and the emptiness of the open spaces and wooden floors echoed every time you
walked in. I don’t think Nick used it very much; he maybe used it for his
quiet moments alone away from his family. He certainly didn’t have use of it
now.
I had no visitors except for an
occasional visit from Nick’s mom, as she followed him out on the road, the
visits became rare and I had no friends in the neighborhood to keep me company
in her absence. It was a quiet soul searching time. I took up gardening, and
with some knowledge I gathered from a Housekeeping book I was able to maintain
the little garden at the back of the house to plush greenery. I made sure my
plants and flowers got the best of my time. Relieved, I changed my hair back to
the color that suited who I really was inside---tempestuous and tenacious--- I
made it fiery red…how it was supposed to be from the start.
I spoke to Lance several times to find
out how the tour was going and to ascertain if he was happy with life on the
road. I even asked him how Joey was doing with Vikki. He likes her, I think they
are pretty serious, was his reply. He pleaded persistently for a second chance
and inasmuch as I liked talking to him, my heart ached for a simple word from
Nick. Why was it so? Why did I miss him so much? I missed his laugh, his
goofiness, his caring shoulder, and the games we played together, everything.
That argument on the phone was totally uncalled for and unluckily for me Nick
had taken it to heart, lodging it there all these months. Every time I thought
of how stupid I was to have said those things to him, I would start to cry and
my heart would bleed in pain wishing I could go back to that day. I missed him
more when school was about to commence.
I was accepted at Columbia
University. But, unfortunately, I had not won the scholarship program I had
aimed for. The big problem came at enrollment time when I knew that I had no
means of paying my tuition except through Nick who absolutely wanted nothing to
do with me.
After several messages through
everyone vaguely connected with the guys, they finally heard my financial plea.
AJ was to drop by my apartment to drop off the check in a couple of weeks. That
was a major turnaround in the state of my affairs.