Title: The Ends of the Earth (5/5): Story 15 in
the "Who I Am, What I'll Become" Series
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Cordelia, Angel, Wesley, Gunn,
Kate, Oz, Doyle, David, Dennis, Lindsey, Xander, Willow, Buffy,
Dawn, Giles, and Spike all belong to Joss Whedon. Liz, Maria,
Alex, Max, Michael, Isabel, Tess, Kyle and Nasedo all belong to
Melinda Metz and Jason Katims. Clayton is mine. Please don't sue.
I'm not making any money. The song is "To Make You Feel My
Love" by Garth Brooks.
Rating: PG-13 for language and content
Spoilers: Up through "Are You Now or Have You Ever
Been" for Angel, and "Destiny" for Roswell and the
first 14 stories in this series, especially the first one,
"Illusions." All of the first three Buffy seasons are
open for slight spoilers, but the specific Buffy spoilers are as
follows: "Lover's Walk."
Timeline: The morning/afternoon/evening after the events that
took place in story 14, "Things Fall Apart."
Summary: The Angel Investigations gang begins to rebuild itself
while Angel looks for a way to make things up to Cordelia and
pull her out of her depressed state.
Distribution: Anyone with previous permission to archive the
series may take it without asking. Anyone else, just let me know
the link. For those of you looking for previous parts, the whole
series thus far is being archived at
www.geocities.com/angel_roswell/whoiam.html.
Category: Story/semi-crossover with Roswell and Buffy the Vampire
Slayer.
Subcategories: Angst/friendship and this part has a bit of fluff
Keywords: For Angel: None yet, but if you haven't guessed by now,
the series has a lot of Cordelia/Angel stuff; a Wesley/Kate
pairing is possible but not certain. For Buffy: All the current
Buffy couples (though they don't appear that much): Buffy/Riley,
Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya. For Roswell: Max/Liz, Michael/Maria,
Isabel/Alex and it's very probable that in the future there will
be a Tess/Kyle pairing.
Feedback: Is always appreciated.
Dedication: For Barbara. Hope you like it! :)
I must offer a special thanks to Anne for inspiring me to work on
this part again after "Blood Money," which kind of had
me depressed. Thanks for the awesome *happy* fic, Anne. :)
Author's Note: Okay, some of the bumps are behind us, but the
road ahead is still long and winding. Cordelia and Angel are
still just friends at this point, and will remain so for awhile.
I like to take my time with these delicate matters of the heart.
Author's Note II: Due to the fact that I'm back in school now,
the time it takes to get these parts done are a little longer.
And since I can only update the site from my home computer (which
will now be mostly reduced to weekends), I'll most likely be
sending future parts out to the lists and A/C board before I
actually get them on the site. If you have any questions, email
me. :)
Author's Note III: Okay, these events don't take place on
Christmas day. It's about three days before.
The Ends of the Earth (Part Five)
"You know what I hate about Christmas in
California?" Cordelia asked later that evening as Angel
helped her wind purple garland around her seven and a half foot
Christmas tree. "It never snows. My parents and I used to go
to Colorado every year during the holidays so we could have a
white Christmas. Of course, that was *before* they got caught
cheating on their taxes."
Then there had been last year. Doyle had died right before the
holidays. She had put up a strand of lights and a tabletop tree
in a feeble attempt to get into the holiday spirit. Of course,
when the big day came, she hadn't had any sleep and instead of
celebrating she'd gone in to work. Angel hadn't questioned why
she came in on a holiday. They'd just sat silently, at their
separate desks, lost in their own thoughts.
She stepped back and examined the tree with a critical eye.
"It needs bulbs."
"It is kind of bare," he agreed.
"There's a box of decorations in the guest room closet. I
think it's on the top shelf. Could you--?"
"Got it," Angel replied as he headed down the hallway.
She picked up the tree topper she'd set on her coffee table and
studied it. It was a beautiful angel that had a porcelain face
and hands and was trimmed in silver. It had been her
grandmother's. And since she lost her bracelet, it was the only
thing she had left of her grandmother.
Cordelia took a deep breath and climbed up the ladder she usually
stored in the hall closet. She reached over and carefully placed
the angel on top of the tree, adjusting it so it was perfectly
balanced. She sighed softly, trying to push aside the sad feeling
that kept tugging at her. She and Angel had made up. There was no
reason left to be sad.
Right?
The room tilted as a sudden wave of dizziness overwhelmed her.
She quickly clutched onto the ladder rung for support and leaned
her forehead against the top step, squeezing her eyes shut.
"I don't see any bulbs," she heard Angel say from the
guest room.
She didn't even try to respond as she took a slow deep breath and
opened her eyes back up.
Now the room wasn't just tilting. It was spinning. The pretty
lights on her Christmas tree melded together with the lamp light,
creating a colorful blurred array of brightness. Her grip on the
rung slipped.
"Cordelia!"
She knew she was falling, but she never hit the ground. Instead,
a pair of strong arms caught her and surrounded her.
Cordelia blinked against the lights and then gazed up at Angel,
who was cradling her against him like one would cradle an infant.
He was staring at her, his face riddled with worry.
How did he move so fast? she wondered.
"Cordelia, are you okay? What happened?"
She nodded weakly. "I just...got dizzy."
His gaze left her face and traveled up the height of the ladder.
"What were you doing?"
"Putting the angel on the tree," she mumbled.
"I would have done that. Are you all right? Do you feel
sick?" he asked in concern.
"No. I'm all right." Cordelia became very aware that
she was still cradled in his arms. Her heart thudded a bit faster
at the realization. She shifted slightly; Angel understood and
carefully set her on her feet. Her knees buckled almost
instantly.
"Whoa, easy. Take it easy." He slid his arm around her
waist and guided her to the couch. She sank down onto the sofa
and Angel sat down next to her, keeping his arm around her waist.
He frowned and touched her forehead with his other hand.
"You don't have a fever." He tucked a strand of stray
hair behind her ear.
Cordelia felt her breath catch in the back of her throat as she
stared at him. "I'm...I'm all right," she reiterated.
She quickly turned away from his gaze and leaned back against the
back of the couch and shut her eyes. She focused on taking deep,
relaxing breaths.
"Maybe I should take you to the hospital."
Her eyes flew open at his words. "No way! Angel, I'm fine. I
just got dizzy. It happens."
Angel studied her doubtfully. "I don't know..."
"I hate hospitals. I'm not sick. And by the time one of the
doctors in the e.r. got around to checking me out, it would be
morning and you'd have to spend the whole day there to avoid
becoming a crispy critter," Cordelia pointed out.
He smiled slightly, but before he had a chance to respond, the
telephone rang. She started to get up, but he quickly shook his
head and gave her a stern look. "I got it." Cordelia
watched as he crossed the room and stepped into the kitchen.
"Hello?" There was a pause. "Uh, yeah. She's right
here. Hang on a minute." He walked back into the living
room, his hand covering up the mouthpiece of her portable phone.
"It's your mom."
She held back a grimace as she took the phone from him. "Hi,
Mom."
"Cordelia, dear, who was that?"
She glanced up at Angel, who was examining the knick-knacks on
her fireplace mantel. "Oh, that was Angel."
"That detective you work with? What on earth is he doing at
your apartment?" her mother demanded.
"We're friends."
"Sure you are, darling. I take it you blew things with
Clayton then?" There was an accusing tone to her voice.
Cordelia swallowed hard and stared down at her hands, unable to
answer.
"Of course. I expected no less. Well, there went your father
and my only chance at returning to California." Her mother
sighed heavily. "Why is it you can't make any decent
relationships work, Cordelia? You're a Chase, for godsakes.
You're ruining our family name, dear."
She bit her lip and changed the subject. "How are you and
Daddy?"
"We're wonderful. Europe is just lovely this time of year.
It's really too bad your Hollywood career didn't work out. Maybe
you could have afforded to come and join us for the holidays if
you made decent money."
"I get by," Cordelia said quietly.
"But getting by isn't the road to happiness, dear. You were
supposed to be a star. Your father and I paid for so many classes
for you when you were younger. Why is it that after all of our
hard work you turned out to be...well, such a failure?"
Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them away. Years of sniping
at classmates and friends and standing up for herself against
demons and vampires and she couldn't even stand up to her own
mother. How pathetic am I? she wondered.
"Anyway, I just called to tell you Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," Cordelia echoed.
"I'll call again soon, dear."
"Can't wait." She punched the off button on the
portable phone and stood up.
Angel turned around to face her, his expression unreadable.
"Well," she said with false cheerfulness. "I'm
going to take a shower. I feel all icky." She met his eyes
for a split second. In that second she could see the genuine
concern and sympathy he felt for her and she turned away, feeling
ashamed. She walked down the hall without waiting for a response.
Angel glared at the telephone that set on
Cordelia's coffee table. He hadn't been trying to listen to her
conversation. Really he hadn't. He didn't have control over the
fact that his senses, including his ability to hear voices over
electronic wires while standing across the room, were keener than
humans'.
He'd never met Cordelia's parents. And he hoped like hell he
never had to. He wasn't sure he'd retain the ability to stay
civil and be polite.
How could her mother be so callous?
The breakup with Clayton hadn't been Cordelia's fault. The
bastard had cheated on her. Was she supposed to stay with him
anyway?
Anger welled up within him. No wonder it was so hard for Cordelia
to trust people. Among her parents and what had happened with
Xander and Wilson Christopher and Clayton, he couldn't blame her
for being unable to let down her defenses. He paced the room
angrily. And he had added to it. He'd hurt her by keeping her at
a distance while he dreamt of Darla.
He paused in front of her fireplace again. His eyes were drawn
back to the three small trophies that were lined up. Each one had
a golden horse on top of it. He wondered why he'd never noticed
them until tonight. The first one read:
Cordelia Chase
First Place
Sunnydale Equestrian Competition
1995
The other two were the same, except the dates
were 1996 and 1997. He ran his fingers along the engraving.
From the bathroom he could hear the sound of running water, and
he worried briefly that she might fall and hurt herself if she
got dizzy again. He had a feeling that Dennis would make him
aware of that fact if it happened, though. He looked towards the
ladder and shook his head slowly. He wondered what had caused the
dizziness. She wasn't running a fever, so...
Angel rolled his eyes in disgust. She hadn't had anything to eat
since breakfast, and she'd only picked at the eggs and pancakes
he'd fixed for her. No wonder she'd fallen.
He moved into the kitchen, still feeling angry with Cordelia's
mother. Didn't she understand that even though Cordelia didn't
make a lot of money, that she was doing something more important?
That she was helping people, saving innocent lives?
Cordelia was ruining the Chase family name. Angel snorted. Yeah,
right. Cordelia had nothing to do with the ruination of the Chase
name. They'd done fine ruining it themselves when they'd cheated
on their taxes for 18 years.
He really didn't like Cordy's mother.
Angel pulled open the refrigerator and grimaced at the week-old
greasy pizza box and flat orange soda that was inside. He pulled
them both out, tossing the pizza in the trash and pouring the
flat drink down the kitchen drain. Then he rummaged through
cupboards. A few cans of soup, a box of macaroni and cheese, a
box of Cheerio's, a couple of cake mixes...nothing that could
vaguely constitute a decent dinner.
He paused and thought back to the moment he'd caught Cordelia as
she fell from the ladder. She had lost weight. Not a lot, but she
was thin to start with, so it wouldn't take much for her to
become pretty weak and tired from lack of food.
A new burst of anger flooded over him. He stormed into the living
room and grabbed the phone off the couch. He dialed the Hyperion.
"We help the hopeless," Wesley said, sounding a bit
distracted.
"Cordelia hasn't been eating," he bit out.
"Angel?"
"There's not hardly any food in this apartment. What were
you trying to do, Wesley, starve her?"
"Hardly. I've been bringing over dinner every evening,
Angel. And she has been eating. I've seen her. What
happened?"
"She fell off a ladder because she got dizzy," he said
accusingly. "If I hadn't been here she could have been badly
injured."
"Is she all right?" Wesley asked in concern.
"What happened?" Angel heard Kate ask in the
background.
"She's fine. I'm taking her out to eat and then we're going
to go buy groceries." Angel hit the off button and ended the
conversation.
There had to be someway to make things better for Cordelia. Just
when he'd been making progress with her, her mother had to call
and ruin everything. An idea began forming in his mind and a slow
smile spread across his face. Psychotic mothers, bastard
ex-boyfriends and serial killers aside, he was going to give
Cordelia Chase a Christmas present she'd never forget. He dialed
another phone number and waited.
"Caritas."
"I want to talk to Jack."
"Hold on."
A moment later, a scruffy voice answered, "What?"
"Jack. It's Angel." He waited again.
"Great. What do you want?"
"You still owe me for saving your ass in 42. I'm calling to
collect."
There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Are you
sayin' what I think you're sayin'?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm saying."
"I came to California for a vacation, man."
"You've been here for three months. You spend every night at
that damned karaoke bar. I don't think it'll kill you to do one
night's work."
"How much are you askin'?"
"Just four or five."
Jack sighed heavily. "All right, all right. When am I
supposed to deliver?"
"I was thinking somewhere in the vicinity of
immediately," Angel responded.
"You drive a hard bargain."
"Saving you from that 3-headed fire-breathing dragon wasn't
all fun and games."
"Okay. I'm on it. Geez. What's the special occasion?"
Jack asked.
He smiled. "It's for a good friend."
"Ah...a woman. And just how good of friends are we
talking?"
"The best." Angel hung up the phone and dialed a third
number.
"Hello?"
"David? It's Angel."
"Angel, hey! What's up, man? You need me to help save the
world from some demons?"
"Uh, actually, it's a little simpler than that. I need a
favor."
"I'm listening," David Nabbit replied eagerly.
Angel smiled.
"And it's suddenly my fault? I had no idea
she was out of food. She never said anything when I brought
dinner over," Wesley said, pacing back and forth in the
Hyperion hotel lobby.
Kate sat on the desk watching him. "Of course it wasn't your
fault. Cordelia's a grown woman. She should have said something
to someone," she agreed. "But she's had a lot on her
mind lately, so maybe she wasn't even thinking about it,
either."
He sighed. "I think perhaps I should go over there
and..." his voice trailed off as he stared out the window.
"Wesley?"
"Dear Lord," he murmured.
Kate slid off the desk and hurried over to him. "What's
wrong?" She looked up at him and he nodded towards the
window. She looked over. Her jaw dropped open. "Oh, my
God."
Angel looked out the picture window overlooking
the street and smiled in satisfaction as their ride pulled up. He
walked back to Cordelia's bedroom, where he could hear her
blow-drying her hair. He smiled at her and leaned against the
doorframe.
It took her a moment to notice him. "What?" she asked
in confusion.
"You need to get dressed. We're going out to dinner. You
don't have anything here to eat."
Cordelia waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not hungry."
Worry kicked the smile off his face and he folded his arms across
his chest. "Too bad."
She stared at him. "Excuse me?"
"You're going to eat anyway. I don't want you passing out on
me. Got it?" he said sternly.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, fine. Get out so I can get
dressed."
Angel nodded in satisfaction and moved back out to the living
room, waiting impatiently. Ten minutes later, Cordelia emerged,
wearing a pair of jeans and a red blouse. He turned and quickly
began digging around in her hall closet.
"Angel, what are you doing?" she asked in exasperation.
He held out her leather jacket. "It's chilly outside."
Cordelia looked at him dubiously. "Are you *on* something?
It's seventy-five degrees out there."
Angel shrugged and helped her into the coat, taking a moment to
button it up. He smiled slightly at the confused look on her face
as he took her hand and pulled her out the door. He led her down
the stairs, through the lobby, and out the door of her apartment
building. Then he turned to watch the expression on her face.
Cordelia's eyes widened and her mouth dropped
open. She held her hand out and a big fluffy snowflake landed in
her palm. She stared at it for a moment and then burst out
laughing. "Angel, it's snowing!"
Angel smiled warmly. The snow was falling gently, but in a steady
way. It was already starting to stick to the ground. "Our
ride's here." He nodded to the street.
She turned and saw the two beautiful chestnut mares pulling the
carriage towards them. The driver was wearing a suit as he sat in
the front part of the carriage. This was unreal. It was like
something out of a fairy tale. No one had ever done anything like
this for her before.
Angel.
Angel had done this for her.
Cordelia swallowed hard and turned to face him. He was still
smiling, gazing at her with a bit of anxiety in his eyes. She
didn't hesitate before she ran the few steps that kept them
separate and threw her arms around his waist. "Thank
you," she whispered fiercely. He wrapped his arms around her
and guided her towards the carriage.
This was one Christmas she knew she would never forget.
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
Evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I would hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of this earth for you
Make you happy
Make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love...
The End