Title: The Ends of the Earth (1/?): Story 15 in the "Who
I Am, What I'll Become" Series
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Cordelia, Angel, Wesley, Gunn, Kate, Oz, Doyle,
David, Dennis, Lindsey, Xander, Willow, Buffy, Dawn, Giles, and
Spike all belong to Joss Whedon. Liz, Maria, Alex, Max, Michael,
Isabel, Tess, Kyle and Nasedo all belong to Melinda Metz and
Jason Katims. Clayton is mine. Please don't sue. I'm not making
any money.
Rating: PG-13 for language and content
Spoilers: Up through "Are You Now or Have You Ever
Been" for Angel, and "Destiny" for Roswell and the
first 14 stories in this series, especially the first one,
"Illusions."
Timeline: The morning/afternoon/evening after the events that
took place in story 14, "Things Fall Apart."
Summary: The Angel Investigations gang begins to rebuild
itself while Angel looks for a way to make things up to Cordelia
and pull her out of her depressed state.
Distribution: Anyone with previous permission to archive the
series may take it without asking. Anyone else, just let me know
the link. For those of you looking for previous parts, the whole
series thus far is being archived at www.geocities.com/angel_roswell/whoiam.html.
Category: Story/semi-crossover with Roswell and Buffy the Vampire
Slayer.
Subcategories: Angst/friendship
Keywords: For Angel: None yet, but if you haven't guessed by now,
the series has a lot of Cordelia/Angel stuff; a Wesley/Kate
pairing is possible but not certain. For Buffy: All the current
Buffy couples (though they don't appear that much): Buffy/Riley,
Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya. For Roswell: Max/Liz, Michael/Maria,
Isabel/Alex and it's very probable that in the future there will
be a Tess/Kyle pairing.
Feedback: Is always appreciated.
Dedication: For Barbara. Hope you like it! :)
Author's Note: Okay, some of the bumps are behind us, but the
road ahead is still long and winding. Cordelia and Angel are
still just friends at this point, and will remain so for awhile.
I like to take my time with these delicate matters of the heart.
The Ends of the Earth (Part One)
Angel gently covered Cordelia's sleeping form with her
bedspread and smoothed her hair back off her face. He backed out
of her bedroom and closed the door behind him. He leaned against
it for a moment, rubbing his eyes wearily. He was tired, but it
wasn't the same mind-numbing exhaustion he'd been experiencing
for the past month.
He moved down the hallway silently and surveyed the living room.
Cordelia's suitcase lay open and several of the items that had
been inside were scattered about. He hadn't noticed it the night
before, but it must have busted open when she kicked it.
There were a few drops of blood on the carpet from where her hand
had bled from her injury before he'd noticed it.
Angel grimaced as he picked up the telephone and dialed Wesley's
cellular phone.
"Hello?" He answered on the first ring.
"Wesley, it's Angel. I'm still at Cordelia's. Do you think
you can come over? We need to talk."
"I'll be right there." Without another word the line
went dead.
Angel hung up the receiver and began picking up the things that
had tumbled out of Cordelia's suitcase. He folded the clothes
neatly and tucked them back into the luggage box for the time
being. Then he picked up a framed photo that was lying upside
down on the floor and he stared at it.
It was of Wesley, Cordelia and him. She was standing between
them, her arms wrapped around them both, a wide smile on her
face. They had been at a party at David Nabbit's. Angel hadn't
really wanted to go, but somehow she had managed to talk him into
it anyway. She had a way of doing that.
He couldn't take his eyes off her beautiful smile. She looked so
happy in that picture. That was the way she was supposed to look.
He remembered how hurt she had looked the night before as she
accused him of not caring about her, of walking out on her. A
fresh onset of guilt settled down on him and he closed his eyes
tightly. He hadn't walked out on her. Not exactly. But in her
eyes he had. And he hadn't done his job. He hadn't protected her,
and he hadn't been there when she needed him.
He was a bastard. She had promised to stand by him, to stay with
him until he fulfilled his destiny and became human. She was his
seer, his friend, his family, and so much more, and he had let
her down. Again.
Angel was so caught up in his guilt that he didn't even hear the
knock on the door the first time. When it sounded again, he
pulled himself off the floor and opened it. "That was
fast," he commented as Wesley walked inside.
"Yes, well. I was just downstairs."
The statement didn't surprise Angel in the least. Wesley was very
protective of Cordelia, and he had a feeling that the two of them
had grown even closer than they had been before.
"Where is she?"
"Sleeping," Angel said quietly.
"She's all right then?" Wesley pressed.
He looked away. "No thanks to me." He went into the
kitchen and got a bottle of Stain-Be-Gone and a rag out of the
cabinets. He returned to the living room and sprayed the blood
stain with the solution and began scrubbing diligently.
"Is that blood?"
Angel nodded wordlessly.
"Angel, what the hell happened?" Wesley stared at him
expectantly.
He sighed. "Her hand started bleeding."
"Then you know."
Angel looked up at him. He was angry that no one had informed him
about Cordelia's attack, but mostly the anger was directed at
himself for not being available enough to *be* informed. "I
know some of it. I was kind of hoping you would fill in the
details."
Wesley nodded slightly, then hesitated. "She doesn't know
everything," he said quietly.
The statement confused him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean...there are things that we haven't told her. Let me
start at the beginning." Wesley sat down on the sofa while
Angel continued to sit on the floor, momentarily distracted from
his task of getting rid of the blood stain on the carpet.
"The man who attacked Cordelia has killed fifteen women that
we know of. There was another attempt, possibly his first victim.
She was attacked, dragged to a van and brutally assaulted but
managed to escape with her life. She reported to the police that
he told her it was time for her descension. He also knew her
name.
"All of his victims have been approximately 20 years old and
look very similar to Cordelia in appearance. Dark hair, dark
eyes, thin, very beautiful. Each of the victims was dumped in an
alley after the murder. They all had their throats slit, and had
been stabbed numerous times. It seems this man has gotten
increasingly violent with each case. The family and friends of
all the victims so far have reported personal items missing: a
piece of jewelry or a scarf or something of the like."
Wesley paused and took a deep breath. "Cordelia doesn't know
about the specifics of the victim's deaths, nor that the killer
takes trophies from the victims."
He knew why Wesley had held back part of that information from
her. "Nasedo," Angel said quietly, blanching at the
memory of seeing Cordelia being stabbed to death by the
shape-shifting alien.
"Yes," the former-Watcher said. He looked at Angel
carefully. "It happened four evenings ago. Cordelia was
walking home from a party when she was attacked. She was knocked
to the ground and when she went to reach for her purse to get a
stake, thinking she was being attacked by a vampire, he stomped
on her hand. He pulled her to her feet and said he'd been
watching her and that it was time for her descension. He held a
knife to her throat and dragged her to a dark blue van. Oz showed
up shortly after."
Angel sat silent on the floor. This was all his fault. If he had
been around none of this would have happened. She could have
called him and asked for a ride. If he'd been around he may have
noticed that someone had been watching her.
"There's more." Wesley hesitated. "Last night,
Cordelia told me she lost her grandmother's bracelet. She said
she'd been wearing it the night of the attack. It's very likely
that this man knows where she lives, where she works, and
everything about her. And just the fact that he most likely has
her bracelet suggests that he will come after her again."
He stared at Wesley for a long moment, then stood up and turned
away, gazing at the picture above Cordelia's mantel but not
really seeing it. "I'm staying here with her. Until this guy
is caught. Or dead." The thought of ripping out the man's
throat caused a jolt of adrenaline to rush through his body. He
was pretty sure he wouldn't feel guilty about doing it if he got
the opportunity.
"Yes, of course." There was a moment of silence.
"Angel."
Angel shook his head, trying to calm his equally growing sense of
guilt and rage. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted
to find the guy before the police did so he could torture and
kill him slowly. The fact that Cordelia had almost been raped and
murdered and how it would have been his fault for not protecting
her balanced those thoughts.
"Angel. You mustn't blame yourself," Wesley said
quietly.
He turned to face him. "How can I not, Wesley?" he
demanded. "I wasn't there. I didn't help her; I haven't been
there for her! This is my fault. It's my job to protect the
innocent. How am I supposed to be a warrior for the Powers That
Be if I can't even keep my own friends safe? I don't deserve to
become human." He sunk down onto a chair and stared at the
floor.
Wesley sat down across from him. "Angel. We all make
mistakes. You can't take responsibility for someone else's
actions. What matters is that you're here now."
He shook his head vigorously. "I let her down. *I* let her
down. That's unforgivable."
"I really doubt that Cordelia will agree."
"She was so angry with me, Wesley. I hurt her. Even if I
didn't mean to. She should hate me." Angel closed his eyes
tightly.
"But she doesn't. Yes, she was angry. Yes, she was hurt. And
that's understandable, but she will forgive you."
"I don't deserve her forgiveness. I don't even deserve to be
around someone like her. She's good, and innocent, and...I'm a
cold blooded killer," he said, knowing his words were true.
"So you're just going to give up then? Let Cordelia fend for
herself because *you* feel too ashamed to be around her?"
Wesley demanded, his voice taking on an edge that Angel had
rarely heard from him.
"That's not what--"
"I know that you feel guilty for not protecting her. And
that's fine. I can't do anything about that. It's not your fault,
but you're entitled to feel how you feel. However, Cordelia
doesn't need to deal with your guilt. She has enough of her own
emotional baggage to deal with right now and she can't afford to
carry yours, too." Wesley stared at him.
"I know." He looked up at his friend. "I'm sorry
that I haven't been around much. But I will take care of
Cordelia."
"I believe that." Wesley leaned back against the couch.
"Now would you care to tell me what exactly has been going
on with *you* lately?"
Angel hesitated. He knew he owed Wesley an explanation for his
behavior just as much as he owed one to Cordelia. "I'm not
sure how to explain it, Wesley."
"Try."
He sighed. "I've been really...exhausted lately. Since I
moved out of here and into the Hyperion. I've been having these
dreams..."
Wesley frowned. "Go on."
"I've been dreaming about Darla."
"Your sire Darla?" The surprise was evident in his
tone.
"Yeah. And when I wake up, it's like I can still sense her
somehow. Like it wasn't all a dream. Almost like she was really
there."
"Angel," Wesley began.
"I know it's impossible. I staked her myself. I know
that." He remembered that day very well. "But these
dreams have been very...vivid." He looked at Wesley, who
appeared to be lost in thought. "What are you
thinking?"
"Well, perhaps there is something at the hotel that is
affecting you. We got rid of the demon that was residing there
for fifty years, but there's no sure way to know that another one
hasn't decided to take up residence in its place. What confuses
me is that you're the only one who seems to be affected. Gunn and
the others have been fine as far as I know." Wesley's frown
deepened. "It's worth checking into."
Angel shook his head. "If there's something there that's
only after me, I don't want you to worry about it."
"Angel--"
"I'll be staying here with Cordelia anyway. Right now I want
you to focus on helping Kate find this killer that's after Cordy.
That's all that matters. We'll worry about me and the
sleep-inducing demon later," he said firmly.
Wesley nodded in agreement and stood up. "I'm going to head
back to the Hyperion now and warn the others just in case this
thing decides to bother someone else while you're away. We need
to be careful since we don't really know what we're dealing
with."
"Good idea."
He headed for the door. "Tell her I'll see her soon."
"Will do. And Wesley?"
"Yes?"
"I am sorry," Angel said sincerely.
Wesley smiled slightly. "Consider it the past." And
without another word he walked out of the apartment, leaving
Angel to return to his task of stain-removal.