Strays Like Us

Title: Strays Like Us: Story 18 in the "Who I Am, What I'll Become" Series

Author: X_tremeroswellian

Disclaimer: They're not mine. Grr...Arrgh.

Rating: Pg-13

Spoilers: Up through "Are You Now or Have You Ever Been," and the entire "Who I Am" series thus far.

Timeline: After "Of Sugarplum Fairies and Candy Canes."

Summary: It's Christmas Day at Cordelia's.

Distribution: The "Who I Am" site: www.geocities.com/angel_roswell/whoiam.html, Stranger Things, Jessi's Fanfic site, any sites with previous permission and any A/C sites that want it may take it without asking. Anyone else, please email me and let me know you're interested. :)

Category: Story

Subcategories: Friendship/slight romance/slight angst

Feedback: Thrills me. I'm a feedback junkie.

Dedication: To Kara for all her kind comments.

Strays Like Us

Cordelia glanced around her apartment. Her Christmas party was a success so far. Gunn and Oz were standing on one side of the room, chatting with Gunn's friends Rondell and George. David Nabbit had cornered Angel and forced him into conversation on the other side of the room. Cordelia stifled a laugh as she caught the pained expression on Angel's face as he shot her a look that clearly pleaded for her to come rescue him. She headed in that direction until she glimpsed Wesley sitting on her sofa alone, staring blankly out the window, and decided to alter her course.

Angel could wait.

Cordelia grabbed a bowl of chex mix that was sitting on her coffee table and plopped down next to Wesley on the sofa. "You okay, Wes?"

Wesley managed a fake smile. "Yes, I'm fine."

She raised a doubtful eyebrow. "You don't look fine. You look depressed."

He sighed. "It's just...this isn't my favorite time of year, that's all."

Cordelia nodded and stared down at the chex mix. "Mine either. Not a lot of good memories about Christmas. At least not for me."

"My parents rarely acknowledged the holiday. In fact, I don't remember the last time I spoke to them, let alone saw them," Wesley said, gazing out the window. "They probably don't even know where I am."

She laid one hand on his arm. "Well, if it helps any, I'm really glad you're here," she said softly.

"I'm sorry, Cordelia. I don't mean to...bring you down on Christmas with my tales of heartache and woe."

"Hey, we're family, remember? That's what family is for. To listen and be there for you in the bad times *and* the good times."

Wesley finally turned to look at her, his smile genuine this time. "Yes, that's true. Thank you."

She hugged him tightly. "You're welcome. Now what say we get this party moving? I think we need music, what do you think?"

"Music would be lovely."

Cordelia stood up and held a hand out to him, which he greatfully accepted and she helped him to his feet. There was a knock on the door. "Wesley, can you get that while I put on some Christmas music?"

"Certainly." Wesley strode over to the door, took a deep breath, and pulled it open, not sure who to expect. He stared in surprise at Kate Lockley. "Hello."

"Hi." She smiled at him nervously. "Cordelia invited me..."

"Yes. Uh, come inside, please," he said, stepping off to the side.

"Thanks." She did so, and looked around the room uncomfortably, holding something in her mittened hands.

"Let me take your coat," he offered quickly.

"Right." With his help, Kate shrugged out of her overcoat and he hung it on the coat rack by the door.

A moment later, Cordelia was at his side, smiling brightly at the only other female in the apartment. "Hi! I'm so glad you made it!"

Kate smiled back tentatively. "I made some pumpkin bread," she replied, holding the aluminum-wrapped loaf out to her.

Cordelia accepted it, beaming. "Great! Listen, dinner will be in about a half-hour, so if you just want to make yourself comfortable, you're welcome to help yourself to snacks or whatever." She motioned to the various bowls of chex mix and pretzels and candy canes that she'd set around the room.

"Thank you," Kate replied, glancing at Wesley.

"No problem. If you need anything, just yell." With that, Cordelia disappeared into the kitchen.

"It was really nice of her to invite me here today," she said to Wesley.

"Yes, well. Cordelia is a very special person," he replied with a smile. "Would you like to sit down?"

"That would be great," Kate agreed as she followed him to the sofa. "I feel a little under-dressed," she said, glancing down at her green sweater and jeans. Her hair was swept up into a matching green clip.

"You look lovely," Wesley assured her.

"Thank you, Wesley."

"You're welcome."

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos..."

Angel listened to David Nabbit talk about the latest Dungeons and Dragons game he was involved in as intently as he could. He really had no clue what the man was talking about, and frankly, he'd been surprised when David had shown up on Cordelia's doorstep. He smiled slightly as he thought about how shocked David must have been to get Cordy's invitation to Christmas dinner. If it hadn't been for her, Angel was sure the man would have spent the entire day alone. In fact, if it weren't for her, Angel himself would have spent the entire day alone.

There was a knock on the door and he watched Cordelia head toward it. She really looked amazing. She'd put on a maroon colored sweater and a long black skirt, and her long dark hair cascaded in gentle curls to her shoulders.

In fact, he was so intently focused on watching her, when the phone rang, he visibly jumped.

"Angel! Can you get that?" Cordelia called over her shoulder as she unlocked the door.

"Got it!" he called back. He snatched the phone of its hook. "Hello?"

There was a brief pause. "May I speak with Cordelia Chase please?" a woman's voice asked haughtily.

He recognized the voice instantly. His gaze flickered back to Cordelia, who was standing at the door, talking to a pretty redhead. "I'm sorry," Angel told Cordelia's mother. "She's not here."

"Where is she? And who is this?"

"She's...out with friends. This is her roomate, Dennis," he lied.

Cordelia's mother sighed heavily. "Well, then. I'll call back later, I suppose."

"I don't think she's coming back tonight at all, actually," Angel said quickly. No way was he going to let Cordelia's mother ruin Cordelia's Christmas.

"I see. Well, will you tell her I called?"

"Sure." Angel hung up the phone. He hoped he had done the right thing.

Cordelia stared at Trudi, who stood on her doorstep, her long red hair back in a French braid. "What...are you doing here?" she asked in confusion.

"Look, Cordelia...I'm sorry to bother you on Christmas and everything...I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about Clayton. I had no idea he was cheating on you, I swear. And I quit working for him when I found out."

"You quit your job because of me?"

"Well, partially. I mean, Clayton's a jerk. I knew that...I just never realized how much of a jerk he was until I found out what he was doing to you. It was pretty much the last straw, you know?" Trudi chewed on her lower lip nervously. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. And that I was sorry and everything. Merry Christmas." She turned to go.

"Trudi, wait," Cordelia said with a frown. "Why don't you join us for dinner?"

"I couldn't do that. I don't want to intrude."

"No, really. There's plenty of room and plenty of food and I want you to stay."

Trudi's face scrunched up. "Are you sure it's not a problem?"

"Not at all. Come in," Cordelia said firmly, stepping aside to let her in.

"Thanks," Trudi said.

Cordelia took her coat and motioned for Trudi to follow her. "I'll introduce you to everyone. These are my good friends Wesley Wyndham-Pryce and Kate Lockley," she told her. "Guys, this is Trudi Williams."

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Williams," Wesley said, shaking her hand.

"Likewise," Trudi said shyly.

Kate smiled at her and Trudi smiled in return.

Then Cordelia introduced her to Oz, Gunn, Rondell and George. Then they made their way across the room to Angel. "Trudi, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Angel. Angel, this is Trudi."

"Hi," Trudi said with a smile.

"Hi," Angel replied kindly.

Trudi glanced past Angel to David Nabbit. "Oh, my God! Is that who I think it is?" she demanded in a hushed whisper.

Cordelia and Angel exchanged a look. "That's David Nabbit," Cordelia confirmed.

"I can't believe it! You know David Nabbit? This is so incredible!"

"Why don't I introduce you?"

Trudi's eyes widened. "Now? Ohmygod! Is my hair okay? What about my clothes?" she asked anxiously.

"You look great," Cordelia assured her, taken aback by her sudden enthusiasm. She raised an eyebrow at Angel, who shrugged, and then she lead Trudi over to David.

"I don't know if I can go through with this," the other woman whispered nervously.

"Sure you can. David's a really nice guy. Just relax." Cordelia smiled as David turned around. "David, I'd like you to meet my friend Trudi Williams."

David stared at Trudi. Trudi stared at David.

Cordelia suddenly felt very out of place. "I'll just, uh...let you two get aquainted."

Neither of them looked at her as she backed away slowly. "Okay, then." She turned around and ran directly into Angel, who quickly placed his hands on her arms to steady her. She looked up and found herself staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

"That was kind of...bizarre," he commented quietly.

"No kidding," she agreed.

"Who is she?"

"She is the former-personal assistant of my ex-boyfriend Clayton."

"Former?"

"She quit when she found out that he was cheating on me." She forced herself to look away from his gaze. "So who was on the phone?"

"Oh, it was a wrong number," he told her.

Fear clutched at her. "A hang up?"

"What?" Angel asked in confusion.

"Stalkers and serial killers sometimes call their victims and hang up before they--"

"No! It wasn't a hang up," he said quickly. "Some woman wanted to talk to some guy named Dan Rogers."

Cordelia's eyes drifted shut. "Sorry...it's just...it's always when you let your guard down that they get you in the movies."

Angel gazed down at her. "You're safe, Cordy," he promised her.

She nodded slightly. "I know. I'm always safe with you." Cordelia suddenly became aware of how close they were standing, and how his hands were still resting on her shoulders. She was reminded of the previous night when his hand had lingered a bit longer than necessary on her cheek, and she swallowed hard.

"You look really beautiful."

Cordelia lifted her head up to look at him again. "Thank you," she said softly. Wesley had told her the same thing earlier, and so had Gunn, for that matter, but somehow when Angel said it...it was just different.

"Cordelia?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean what you said before?"

She frowned in confusion. "What did I say?"

"About me...being...your best friend."

"Yeah, of course I meant it. Have you ever known me to say something I didn't mean?"

Angel smiled. "Not really."

Cordelia grinned. At that moment the telephone rang. "I better get that," she said quickly. She hurried into the other room and grabbed the telephone receiver. "Hello?"

"Merry Christmas!" a familiar voice said cheerfully.

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Xander!"

"Sounds like you're having a party," he commented.

"Yeah, I am, actually. Where are you?"

"I'm in Sunnydale, at Buffy's house. Everyone says hi."

"Say hi back for me."

"Cordelia says hi back!" he shouted.

She winced and pulled the phone away from her ear. "Geez, are you trying to make me go deaf?"

"Of course not. Just spreading the Christmas cheer."

"Right."

"Angel, can I talk to you for a second?"

Angel tore his gaze away from Cordelia and moved it to Gunn. "Sure."

"I kind of like Cordelia, and I've been thinkin' about asking her out. It's just...I don't really know her all that well, so I was hopin' maybe you could give me a clue about how to do that."

He frowned. "You're going to ask her out?"

"You think she'd say no?" Gunn asked, frowning.

Angel glanced over his shoulder at Cordelia, who was still talking on the telephone. Then he turned his attention back to Gunn. "I think it's a bad idea."

Gunn looked disappointed.

For a moment, Angel felt guilty. It's not like he had any right to discourage Gunn from asking her out. "It's just...she just got out of a relationship and I don't think the timing's right, you know?"

"You're right. It's probably not the best time. I can wait." Without another word, the younger man walked away.

Angel stared after him, feeling very unsettled.

Cordelia set the turkey platter on the table and smiled at her friends. "Dinner is served."

Gunn stood up and held out a large butcher knife to her. "Why don't you carve it?"

She stared at the glittering metal. She remembered the feel of a similar knife plunging into her stomach just a few months ago, the day that Max Evans healed her and saved her life. Then she remembered the feel of another knife pressed up against her throat as the serial killer who'd been stalking her threatened to kill her. Cordelia swallowed hard, willing herself to reach out and take the knife from Gunn, but her hand began to shake.

Angel caught the panicked look on her face and stood up quickly. "Actually, you know what? I'd like to do it. It's been a long time since I carved a turkey."

"And when he says a long time, he means a looong time," Gunn said under his breath to Oz.

She slowly sat down in her chair, embarrassed. She stared down at her plate as Angel carved the turkey and began serving pieces of it to everyone. As he brought a piece around to her, he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

After everyone was served and Angel had sat back down, Wesley stood up, holding a glass of the expensive wine that David Nabbit had brought for dinner. "I would like to make a toast." He smiled at her, and she bit her lip, wondering what he was doing. "To Cordelia, for organizing this lovely dinner we're about to eat. I'd venture to say that all of us here, myself included, would have spent the day alone if it weren't for her."

"I'll second that toast," Angel agreed, smiling warmly at her.

Cordelia blinked back tears.

David Nabbit stood up and held up his glass, as well. "I just want to say thank you for inviting all of us strays to your home for Christmas dinner."

"Here, here," Oz said.

"To Cordelia," Kate said, lifting her glass.

Glasses clinked together and then everyone began to eat.

"The fire is burning
The room's all aglow
Outside the December wind blows
Away in the distance the carolers sing in the snow
Everybody's laughing
The world is celebrating
And everyone's so happy
Except for me tonight..."

Cordelia smiled as she watched the animated smiles of her friends as they told stories about Christmas of years ago. She sipped her wine slowly, her senses drawn to the song on the radio. She blinked back involuntary tears that prickled behind her eyelids and she moved to stare out the window at the snow swhirling around.

"Because I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time..."

"I gaze out the window
This cold winter's night
At all of the twinkling lights
Alone in the darkness
Remembering when you were mine
Everybody's smiling
The whole world is rejoicing
And everyone's embracing
Except for you and I..."

Angel watched her from across the room as she stared out the window. He wondered what was going on with her, and then he focused in on the lyrics of the song that was playing on the radio.

"Baby I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time..."

He set his glass of wine down next to Wesley's on the coffee table and stood up. Wesley gave him a questioning look and started to stand up as well, but Angel shook his head and motioned for him to sit back down. Then he quietly left the group and walked over to where Cordelia was standing.

"Cordy?"

She didn't turn to face him, but he watched her reflection in the window pane. "I can't believe it's been a year."

Angel touched her arm and she turned to him, her eyes filled with tears. "I know."

"In the springtime those memories start to fade
With the April rain
Through the summer days
Till autumn's leaves are gone
I get by without you
Til the snow begins to fall..."

He reached out to her and she stepped into his embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. He buried his face in her hair, holding her close. "I miss him, Angel."

"Me too," he whispered back.

"Promise you'll never leave me?"

Angel closed his eyes. "I promise, Cordelia. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me."

"Good," she said softly.

"And then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right...
But then I miss you, most at Christmas time..."

Cordelia chewed on her lower lip as she watched Wesley staring at Kate Lockley. "Angel," she whispered. "Look at Wes."

Angel looked. "What?"

"He's staring at her."

He followed his other friend's gaze and found himself looking at Kate. "So?"

"So? He's been staring at her all day."

He frowned in confusion. "Is that...a bad thing?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "No. I think he likes her."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"No!" she said in exasperation. "I mean I think he really *likes* her. You know. Like likes her."

Angel finally caught on to what she was saying. "Oh."

"I think she likes him, too."

"What makes you think that?" He gazed at Kate, who seemed to be lost in conversation with Trudi Williams and David Nabbit.

"Woman's intuition. I think I'll help them out a little bit."

"What does that mean?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Cordelia said casually, giving him a mysterious grin as she headed over to Kate.

"Oh, Cordelia. I have to go," Trudi told her.

"Okay."

"I'm going to go, too, actually. I thought I'd give Trudi a ride home," David said happily.

She smiled back. "Thanks for coming."

"Thanks for inviting me," he replied.

Cordelia watched as they left the apartment, then she focused her attention on the blonde detective. "So what are you doing for New Year's?"

"Actually, I have the holidays off, so I think I'm just going to relax awhile," Kate admitted.

"Well, what would you say about a free trip to New Mexico?" Cordelia asked.

Kate looked confused. "You're going to Roswell?"

"Yeah. It's Angel's Christmas present to me. Me, Angel and Wesley are going to drive down there. We have room in the van for another person, so...why don't you join us?"

"I don't know..." Kate hesitated.

"Oh, come on! It'll be a blast! Liz is throwing a big party at her parents' cafe, plus I think we could all use some time away from L.A."

"Have you mentioned this to Angel and Wesley?"

"Actually, it was Wesley's idea. And Angel's totally fine with it," Cordelia lied enthusiastically.

Kate smiled. "A trip to Roswell sounds great, thanks."

She smiled back brightly. "We're going to have a blast!"

"So," Gunn said, lingering in the doorway of Cordelia's apartment.

"So," she said back.

"Thanks for inviting me and my friends to dinner."

"You're welcome," Cordelia answered, smiling.

Gunn glanced over his shoulder at Rondell and George, who were out in the hall, waiting impatiently to leave. Then he looked back at Cordelia. "It was fun."

"Yeah."

He looked up. "Uh-oh. Do you realize where we're standing?"

Cordelia slowly looked up and saw the mistletoe hanging above them. She smiled despite herself.

"You know what that means."

She nodded and didn't immediately pull away when Gunn leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. Then she moved back. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Gunn replied, grinning. "I'll see you later."

Cordelia closed the door behind him, a very unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was a nice kiss. Gunn was good looking and he was a nice guy. So why hadn't she felt anything? She wasn't sure, but she decided not to worry about it for the time being. She had more important things to worry about.

Like packing for Roswell.

She couldn't stop a wide smile from spreading across her face. They were leaving in five days. She squealed to herself.

She couldn't wait.

The End