Title: Darkest Hour (3/3) : Story 21 in the "Who I Am, What I'll Become" series
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters belong to Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, and all the other nice people that actually get paid to work to work on the show, none of whom I have any affiliation with whatsoever. Please don't sue me; I'm a poor broke college student. Songs is "Yellow Light" by Remy Zero.
Rating: R for violence, language and sexual content.
Spoilers: Up through "Are You Now or Have You Ever Been" and the first 20 stories in this series.
Timelines: Takes place immediately after "Darkness Falls."
Summary: Cordelia grows worried about Angel's absence; she later realizes her own life is still in jeopardy.
Distribution: Anyone with previous permission. Permenant home is at www.geocities.com/angel_roswell/fanfic.html .
Category: Story
Subcategories: horror/angst/friendship
Author's Note: This fic gets very dark (and I'm not talking about night-time, folks) and graphic. Proceed with extreme caution.
Feedback: Rates right up there with chocolate, hint, hint. :)
Dedication: To rousedouser, Anne, Windsor and Julia.
Special thanks to everyone who took the "Who I Am" poll. :)
Darkest Hour (Part 3)
"And hey, got to move all across this thing
As the moon has made everything mean
Now it tears apart my brain
My bones is beginning to shake
Reach out your hollow flame
Ohh, you're hangin' so weird and strange
Ohh, your darkest days
They're just beginning now....ohhh..."
Wesley sat on the edge of Cordelia's sofa, listening to the tick-tock of the clock on the wall. Gunn was seated in the chair a few feet away, and Oz was standing in the kitchen entrance, leaning against the wall.
"I wish I knew how Angel lost his soul again. Perhaps it's just something temporary," he murmured.
"He has to have a moment of true happiness, right?" Gunn asked.
He nodded.
"Maybe it happened when he killed that serial killer that was stalking Cordelia. That could have made him pretty happy."
Wesley gave him a look.
"Well, it could have," Gunn said defensively.
At that moment, the door to Cordelia's apartment opened. Wesley stood up, grabbing the crossbow off the coffee table in front of him.
Kate held her hands up. "It's just me."
He closed his eyes briefly. "Sorry."
She shook her head. "No apology necessary."
He studied her for a moment. "What are the police saying?"
Kate raked a hand through her blond hair. "That it was some sort of animal attack. They think that maybe one of the tigers or wolves from a local zoo got loose."
"Welcome to the world of denial," Oz commented.
"Yes, well. Fortunately in this case, denial is in our favor," Wesley remarked with a sigh.
Kate sat down on the sofa, rubbing her temples. He sat down next to her and rested a hand on her back. "It was awful. His intestines were on the ground next to his body and his throat was ripped out."
Gunn made a face. "Maybe Angel's faking his evilness because he went overboard on the guy's death. Maybe he didn't want us to think he was capable of doing it with a soul."
"He wasn't faking it."
Everyone looked up and saw Cordelia lingering in the hallway. She was still pale, though not quite as much as she had been. She was dressed in an oversized black sweater--Wesley recognized it as one Angel frequently wore--and a pair of sweatpants. Her hair was damp from the shower.
She glanced around the room. "He wasn't faking it. That wasn't Angel. Angel would never have left me lying in the alley like that." Her voice was soft with almost a hint of defeat to it.
Wesley nodded in agreement. "She's right. Angel wouldn't have left her there. What I don't understand is why Angelus did. He's not exactly known for his sympathy for those who are injured." He leaned forward. "He made no attempt to harm you at all?"
Cordelia shook her head. "He just stared at me for a minute and left."
"Well, hey. How bad can he really be if he got rid of some serial killer and didn't harm Cordy?" Gunn asked.
Oz looked over at him. "Really bad."
"Darla."
"What?" Wesley looked over at Cordelia.
"Darla. There was some woman with him named Darla. I didn't remember that before, but...I think she was a vampire." She noticed the way Wesley was staring at her in shock. "Wesley. What?"
He swallowed hard, not comprehending how it was possible. "Darla...is the vampire who sired Angel."
"Home sweet home," Darla said with a smile as she lead the way into the abandoned warehouse where she'd been staying since Wolfram and Hart had resurrected her from Hell.
Angelus glanced around, frowning in distaste. "What happened to a room with a view?"
She shrugged. "Things change."
"Apparently." He walked around the place, memorizing his surroundings for future reference.
"So what did you do?"
He raised an eyebrow as he turned to face her.
"To the woman in the alley? Did you kill her?" There was a touch of hope mixed in with the curiosity in her voice.
"Maybe," he said evenly. For some reason, he didn't like his sire asking questions about Cordelia.
"Maybe?" Darla echoed, clearly annoyed with his vague response. "It's a simple question, Angelus. Did you kill her or didn't you?"
His eyes narrowed. "No."
She stared at him, her blue eyes cold.
"Why kill someone when it's so much more fun to torture them?"
Darla's lips curled into a smile.
Angelus forced a smile on his face, as well.
Wesley was pacing her living room floor, carrying an old, dusty hardback book and flipping through the pages.
Cordelia stared down at her hands that were folded in her lap.
"Okay." Kate broke the silence. "So if Angel staked this vampire years ago, how is she here now?"
"She's the Messiah of vampires?" Gunn suggested.
"Are you *certain* that the woman you saw was Darla?" Wesley thrust the book he was carrying into her hands and pointed at an old sketch.
Cordelia studied it carefully. The sketch was done in black and white, and the clothes that the woman was wearing were from the mid-1700's...but the woman was the same one that had been with Angel...Angelus, she corrected herself mentally. Angel's gone now. "Yes, that's her."
He shook his head in frustration. "I don't understand how it's possible."
"Angel came back from Hell one time," Oz offered.
"Yes, but the Powers That Be sent him back here to atone for his sins, to be a champion for good. I highly doubt they saw it fit to return Darla to earth for the same reason."
"So then who did?"
"Someone with a great deal of power," Wesley murmured.
"And who doesn't mind using it against a lot of innocent people," Kate added.
Cordelia looked up and straight at Wesley. "Wolfram and Hart."
"Yes, of course."
"Those lawyers again? Man, those slimeballs never give up," Gunn said, disgusted.
"What am I missing?" Oz asked, frowning as he glanced at the other occupants in the room.
"Wolfram and Hart is a law firm here in L.A. They defend every lowlife in town, including demons and vampires," Wesley informed him.
"If there's anything evil happening around here, you can bet they have a hand in it," Kate said grimly.
"Sort of like the mayor of Sunnydale, then." Oz glanced at Cordelia, who nodded.
"Sort of like, yeah."
"Now I'm missing something," Gunn said.
"Mayor of Sunnydale--turned into this giant snake at our graduation ceremony. Killed a bunch of people," Oz explained.
"It was this whole big thing," Cordelia added.
"Buffy killed him. Blew him and the school up with a bunch of explosives."
"Got it." Gunn took a deep breath. "So back to the whole Angel-gone-evil issue. I get that his sire is somehow back, but how did he lose his soul?"
Wesley rubbed his forehead. "Probably due to the same people who resurrected Darla."
"Somebody needs to get rid of that whole damned law firm. So what do we do?"
Cordelia looked at Wesley and hugged her knees to her chest.
He closed the old book and set it on the coffee table. "I think the first thing we should do is perform the spell that reverses the invitation for Angel...Angelus to enter Cordelia's apartment."
Oz nodded his agreement.
"We need to call Buffy and warn her," Cordelia said softly.
Wesley met her gaze. "Yes. That's probably a good idea."
"I'll make the call," Oz volunteered.
"Thank you, Oz."
"Sure." He disappeared into the kitchen.
"So what do we need to perform this spell?" Kate asked, rubbing her eyes tiredly.
"It's actually a very simple incantation..."
Wesley and Kate kept talking, but Cordelia had quit listening. She stared at the photo of her with Angel and Wesley that was hanging above the fireplace. Hours ago she was terrified that Angel may have been staked, and now she was afraid that she may have to be the one to stake him.
She remembered in vivid detail everything that happened her junior year of high school--all of the things that Angelus had done, all the people he had hurt. She hadn't been close to Angel before he went evil that time. But now...
"You okay?"
She blinked away the tears that were brimming behind her eyelids and turned her head to see Gunn sitting next to her. For a moment, she remained silent, not sure how to answer his question. "I don't know," she said finally.
Gunn's eyebrows furrowed, but before he could question her further, Oz came back into the room frowning. "That was weird."
"What was?" Wesley asked, closing the spell book he'd used to finish the invitation revocation.
"I just tried calling Buffy's house, but the line was down. At Xander's and Giles', too."
Cordelia's eyes widened. "Wesley--"
"It's too soon to have anything to do with Angelus. Sunnydale's nearly three hours from here. Your encounter with Angelus was just over an hour ago," he assured her quickly.
"Maybe it's storming," Kate suggested, glancing at her. "The lines could've easily gotten knocked down if the wind got heavy enough."
She took a deep breath and nodded, grateful for the other woman's attempt at diverting her attention.
"Well, what now?" Gunn asked, standing up.
"Now...I'd suggest we all get some sleep. There's not much else we can do right now anyway and there's only a couple of hours until sunrise." Wesley looked around at each of them, his gaze landing on Cordelia. "It's probably a good idea if we all stayed here until it's day time."
"Yeah, Angelus could be anywhere," Oz said quietly.
"It's fine with me," Cordelia said quietly. "You and Kate can have the guest room if Oz and Gunn don't mind the sofa and the floor out here."
Wesley looked surprised.
"Floor's fine with me," Oz answered.
"I'll take the sofa," Gunn said, shrugging.
"All right." Cordelia stood up and walked back towards the hallway.
Wesley stopped her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked lowly so that only she could hear.
She gazed at him for a moment and felt the tears building up again, but turned away before he could see. "I'll survive," she whispered. Then she walked with calm steps to her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She swept the tattered remains of her dresses off her bed and onto the floor. Then she sank down onto the mattress and put her face in her hands.
Phantom Dennis pulled the blankets back for her and she crawled under them and pressed her face into her pillow, sobbing silently. After awhile the tears subsided and she lay still, her mind not focusing on any one thing in particular. She was surprised by how quickly the exhaustion overtook her, but she allowed herself to sink down into its murky depths until she drifted off to sleep...
Cordelia found herself in a vaguely familiar and beautiful meadow of wild flowers. She knew she'd seen this place before, but she couldn't remember when or under what circumstances.
"Princess."
She turned and stared. "Doyle! What...what are you doing here?"
He smiled at her as he walked closer. "Told ya I'd be around when ya needed me."
She felt relieved as he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so glad to see you." Cordelia pulled away from his embrace. "You have to help me, Doyle. It's Angel...he..."
"I know." He nodded and sighed. "I'm just not sure I *can* help you."
"What do you mean?"
"This was all meant to happen, Princess. It was in the cards from the beginning."
"It was meant to happen? You mean...the Powers knew Angel was going to lose his soul again?" Cordelia stared at him in disbelief.
Doyle nodded again.
"But...why? Why would they let this happen? I don't understand!" She looked up at the powder blue sky that was slowly darkening.
"You're not supposed to understand it yet. Not 'til it's all done with."
"Well, that's just great. That's wonderful," Cordelia said sarcastically. The sky rumbled with thunder in the distance.
He looked up, frowning in concern. "Try to stay calm, Cordelia."
"Tell me what to do, Doyle," she pleaded as a hard rain started to fall.
"I can't. You already know. This isn't just about Angel." Doyle gently took hold of her arms and gazed at her. "Right now everything depends on you."
She shook her head, and the wind whipped her hair around. "It can't depend on me! I'm just a washed-up seer! What can I possibly do?"
"Look within, Princess!" Doyle shouted over the clattering of thunder. "Don't give up!"
Without another word, he disappeared.
"Doyle!" Cordelia screamed, peering through the blinding rain storm to try and find him. "Come back! I can't do this alone!"
She whimpered in her sleep and kicked the blankets away, twisting in bed without awakening. The dream of her long-lost friend was over, but in turn, she was assaulted by memories and images of monsters in the night.
She had no idea that one of them was just outside her bedroom window on the fire escape, watching her intently as she slept.
Angelus waited silently, unable to take his eyes off her. He remained there until just shortly before sunrise. Then he fled the morning light, and headed back to the warehouse and to Darla.